Beth hated that she knew how long it had been since she talked to him. She hated knowing that he left three days and six hours ago while she was on the phone. She hated knowing how hurt and angry his blue eyes were in the short moment he looked at her. She hated that she didn't get a chance to take it away, or to kiss him goodnight.

He didn't completely fall off the face of the earth though, he answered her text message the next day, asking how everything was. His response was short, which wasn't unusual, but it seemed like he was pulling away. Or maybe not, there really wasn't much to gather from, 'yeah fine.'

She moped around in sweatpants for the rest of the weekend, upset and angrier than she thought she would be. Maggie told her 'I told you so' with a series of half-hidden, sideways glances.

Zach came up to her after class on Monday while she was playing a game on her phone.

"Hey, that was a quick good bye the other night, everything okay?" He was standing a little to close and looking at what she had up on her screen.

Beth nodded, "I was at my sister's."

"Oh. Well, are we going to work on that set? I don't mean to keep bothering you but… I'd like to know what I'm going to play. I don't want to go off the cuff, the coffee house gets a good crowd for open mic night."

"You don't want to play at Hook's?"

"Nah, that place has an old crowd. Figured you're new here, give you a taste of a better crowd. They'll love us there. People more your style."

"How do you know my style?" She didn't mean for it come out as flirtatious as it did. His eyes slowly scanned over her body and made her feel uneasy, like she had broken a promise. But she made herself push that aside. If Daryl could go around doing whatever it was he did, then why couldn't she? She shouldn't feel bad about playing out with someone from her music class. She told him she would sing with him.

They practiced in an empty classroom, she told him it would echo too much to sound good, he didn't care. He wanted her to sing acoustic versions of Justin Beiber and Miley Cyrus with sloppy guitar solos shoved in the middle, she ignored the way he told her to dial it back. Singing with him wasn't fun, she didn't feel a connection and all it did was make her think of Daryl even more.

She took the bus home so she could have some time to think. Saying yes to Zach was supposed to be a jab at Daryl for storming away the other night, but it felt like it was a jab at herself. She didn't want to sing with Zach. She really didn't want to do anything with him. She wanted to spend her time with Daryl. She missed him. It had only been a few days, three and six hours, but she missed him. She missed the quiet way he said hello, like he wasn't sure if he wanted to be heard. She missed catching him stealing glances at her. She really missed kissing him and the way he would go still for a moment before he kissed her back. It made her nervous how much she wanted to see him. Daryl not being there made her feel like she was grasping for something to keep her grounded. She realized, on the thirty-seven minute bus ride, that Zach was not going to do that.

Beth's parents brought her to a balloon festival once. It was up by the mountains, with a small carnival and a bluegrass band. She had told her father that she would fly off in one. She remembered watching these useless tarps fill with air and become amazing individual works of art that could carry people off to wherever the wind wanted to take them. She used to imagine herself like that. Slowly getting filled with the air she needed and one day she could just fly away until she dropped into the life she was supposed to have. But lately it felt like something had been anchoring her down. She could feel herself filling up, her true pattern showing bright and she didn't want to float aimlessly away. She felt happy to be tethered in place that seemed to want her, with a hot flash of flame keeping her up. She didn't want that rope to be cut, not anymore.

She wanted someone to keep that flame going. Someone who could use it to help navigate the altitudes and air flows, and help her find where she needed and wanted to be. Someone who could bring her back down, grounded and safe. Someone who could look at her and see a bright, beautiful, amazing thing made of stitched together pieces and ideas and love every inch.

She texted him while she knew he was still at work. His shift didn't end for another hour.

'We're still on for Saturday, right?'

She was surprised when her phone beeped right away.

'yeah'

She smiled at his quick response. The grin spread when he sent another.

'ill try to stop by fri if i can'

After spinning around her living room for a minute, Beth answered back.

'Good, I miss you.'

Her phone was silent the rest of the night.

When she took her phone off the charger before heading out the door Tuesday morning she finally saw the message received at 2:09 am.

'me too'