Chapter 5

Fucking Final Farewell

Alex arrived at the airport as fast as he legally could and strode in with his mission in mind.

FIND DEX

The waves of people and the confusion discombobulated Alex to no end. However he pushed on, giving his all to find him. The words he would say kept colliding in his head. He would rip Dex a new one, he would wipe that stupid fucking grin off his face and nothing that he could ever say would stop him. Dex's words were like pesky little flies to him now, they had no power over him anymore. This anger was real, this fire was alive, this was Alex's time to unleash it all and he was more than ready.

Finally Alex found him.

Dex.

Right there.

Just sitting on a bench with his white fucking ear bus on, completely unaware that Alex was there. The very sight gave him goose bumps. Alex stormed up to him with flames licking around his scalding tongue.

"Get ready to feel the burn Dex" he thought.

"Hey asshole" Alex greeted him casually.

Dex pulled out his ear buds and gave Alex a confused look.

"Alex? What are you doing here?" Dex asked quizzically. "Wait, are you here to give me a final farewell or something?" Dex guessed.

Alex smirked, "Yeah sure a final farewell, only my fucking final farewell is going to be personal, real fucking personal" Alex growled.

Dex shifted awkwardly in his seat. "Ah, so this is about your bed isn't it?" he nodded with a sly smile on his lips.

Alex's nostrils flared "No you fucking moron it's more than that!"

Alex pinned his arms around Dex and glared into his eyes.

"It's more than just the bed, and the sheets, and your stupid pranks. It's more than just your fucking smile and your fucking eyes and your fucking hot face. It's even more than the fucking secrets I have to keep from you and how you can't know everything you selfish sack of shit because you know nothing about me and I thought... for the longest fucking time I thought that it was better that way. I thought I didn't need you , I thought I could live without you and I could watch you fly off to fucking Britain and I wouldn't care. But the fucking truth is I can't. I can't just let you go because I..."

Alex's burning words froze once he realized he was crying.

The thick tension of looking into Dex's eyes wanted to make Alex bury himself alive and suffocate from his own stupidity. His arms lost their strength and he dropped his head to the floor. It was easier to stare at the ground anyway, it didn't want to make him throw up.

"...I fucking hate you so much" Alex said through gritted teeth.

"Geez if I knew you got this worked up over your bed I wouldn't have done it" Dex tried to ease the drama.

Alex chuckled a bit and wiped away his tears. What the hell did he think would happen? He knew those eyes would break him like glass, and now here he was shattered on the ground with no one but Dex to pick up the pieces.

"So, I guess you know..." Alex sighed.

"Yeah, 'fucking hot face' kind of gave it away" Dex air quoted.

"I didn't say that" Alex crossed his arms.

"No I'm pretty sure you did" Dex insisted.

"Yeah whatever, I didn't say that." Alex shook his head smiling.

"Well I can't blame you, I do have quite a sexy face" Dex grinned.

"Hey I said hot, not sexy!" Alex snapped

Dex just tilted his head "so I do have a hot face" he mused.

Alex furrowed his eyebrows and glared at him "I really fucking hate you."

"No you fucking don't" Dex teased.

"See this is why I didn't want to tell you last night" Alex sighed.

Dex just raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?" he asked.

"Yeah, really" Alex shoved his hands in his pockets and gave him an annoyed glance.

Dex got up from the bench and looked into Alex's eyes "Usually it's because people are afraid of rejection, I should know from all my experience" he explained calmly.

Alex's words suddenly vanished from his mind and all that was left of him was his adorable blush taking over his face.

Dex decided to continue and he stepped a little closer. "I never really took you as someone who would be afraid of rejection. Kind of ironic in a way since you treat everyone like they're idiots. Especially me." he said.

"That's different, you are an idiot" Alex grinned.

Dex only smiled and shook his head. Alex breathed a sigh of relief as he felt the weight of all his lies unraveling from him. All the pent up pain and emotions were finally set free, the truth was was off and Alex survived the storm of his own inner demons. Yet there was one question still on his mind. What would happen next? Would things still be the same or would they change? How would everyone else react to this? How would the guys feel about it? Or even the fans? Alex shuddered to think about it. Dex was still here though, not in Britain, here and there were millions of questions Alex wanted to ask but he knew that Dex had to leave soon. His delicate paradise would only last a few more minutes and then he would be gone.

"Dex..." Alex's voice got serious "... tell me the truth. How do you feel about me?" he didn't want his voice to tremble but it did and he hated it more than he hated the precious seconds slip though his fingers.

Dex couldn't help but hold his breath and his eyes fell to the ground searching for the right words to say. What was the best way to break it to him? To let the truth be gentle and kind? Could that even be possible?

"I..." Dex fumbled with his words.

Alex caught on and nodded in understanding. "No, it's okay" it wasn't okay "I'm fine" he wasn't fine "I'll be okay" no he wouldn't and he knew it. The lies felt easy to him once again, and he was used to them. He would go back to pretending to scowl and hide his thoughts with his masked face. It was how things had to be, he could do it, but the hard part would be forgetting his few seconds of truth that was shared by none other than Dex.

How beautifully cruel this irony was, truly a work of art that only destiny could master. Why would he even fool himself into thinking he had a chance? What good did it do anyways? All it did was make things worse. Dex forced himself to look into Alex's eyes. If he was going to do this he was going to do it right.

"Alex I'm sorry to do this to you. You've been a good friend to me but this is the way things have to be" he apologized.

"I know I get it. Come on you have a flight to catch" Alex held back the pain in his voice.

"Yeah I know..." Dex trailed off and his eyes lit up with passion as he gave Alex a quick kiss on the cheek "... that's why I have to leave you hanging" he said.

Alex's eyes were nearly bulging out of his skull being overcome with shock, joy, and anger all at once. Dex cheekily patted him on the butt and skipped over to the next station while Alex was still an emotional statue. He snapped out of his trance and turned around watching Dex get in line.

"Hey get back here you son of a bitch!" Alex called out angrily to him.

"Love you too Alex" Dex replied.

"Fuck you"

"I'll miss you too"

"Go to hell"

"I will"

Alex's anger subsided once he saw Dex getting farther and farther away from him. His anger had flooded his mind like lava, burning and scorching his thoughts to ash. Then suddenly it transformed into something different, something Alex never thought he would ever experience...

Love.

The passionate warmth of hope glowed in his heart and he couldn't even remember when he had ever felt so happy in his entire life. The irony of it all was that he felt this way while watching Dex fade away from his very eyes. Alex thought he was going to have to bottle up his sorrows but seeing Dex go away was liberating.

Being around him was amazing, crazy, annoying, sexy, and worst of all vulnerable. Alex was nothing short of fragile when he was around Dex, because he was always afraid of breaking down into a pathetic emotional wreckage. Now he had done just that, in the middle of an airport, and as the pieces of his heart were strewn across the floor in a heaping mess, Dex was the one who put him back together again.

The times that they had spent together where he wanted to smile instead of scowl, stare instead of look away, or laugh instead of roll his eyes, all of the lies were over. Alex felt stronger now, and he realized that anger had only made him weaker overtime. Now Alex had thrown away his mask for good, to show the world the glorious truth. He was in love. As his newly built heart full of passion and hope beat away their last few seconds Alex called out

"Hey Dex!"

"What?"

"See you later" he waved goodbye.

Dex smiled and waved back

"Yeah... see you later"