The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 9: How Dare You!
(Mario, Luigi, and Peach went to the club house and went inside. Waluigi had put the rug back in the middle of the floor and had the cookies on the table.)
Waluigi: Is this everyone?
Peach: There's some more on the way.
(Just then, Bowser and D.K. walked in dragging Yoshi and Toad behind them.)
Toad: May I ask you what's going on here?
Bowser: We're going to play Truth or Dare and you're going to like it. Now sit down and shut up!
(Everyone sat in a circle. The order they sat in, going clockwise, was Peach, Luigi, Mario, Waluigi, D.K., Toad, Yoshi, then Bowser. This might not matter, but anyway...)
Waluigi: Let's see... Mario gets first honors.
Mario: Thanks. Bowser, Truth or dare.
Bowser: Dare. What can you possibly make me do?
Mario: Embarrass yourself. I dare you to go to the store and borrow an ice cube.
Bowser: ...What?!
Waluigi: Wow. That sucks. I'll be the judge so let's go to the store, Bowser.
Bowser: Waaahhh! Darn it, Mario!
(Waluigi and Bowser left the club house.)
Luigi: Dude, what kind of dare is that?
Mario: One that will embarrass him.
Yoshi: Since nothing is happening, Toad, we'll review that last lesson again.
(Yoshi pulls out a red ranger and a red Tyrannosaurus robot.)
Yoshi: See Hawaiian Punch? He's red so he drives the red robot, in this case, Tyrannosaurus.
Toad: Don't talk about this here!
Peach, Mario, Luigi, & D.K.: Hmm?
Toad: Aww...fuck...
D.K.: Look! Yoshi and Toad are playing with Power Rangers again! I saw them do it this morning!
(Everyone laugh. Waluigi and Bowser came back in. Bowser didn't look too happy and I held a small bag of ice cubes.)
Bowser: That was soooo uncool.
Waluigi: What are you talking about? You scared the lady stiff!
Bowser: Actually, your face did it. I think I deserve a cookie for this.
(Bowser went to the table and picked up a cookie and shoved it in his mouth. Before he claimed his spot between Yoshi and Peach, he went behind Mario.)
Bowser: By the way...here's your god farsaken ice cubes!
(Bowser put the ice cubes down Mario's shirt.)
Mario: Aieee! That's cold! Get it out! Get it out!
Bowser: I've never seen Mario squirm like that before. Heh heh heh. My turn. Peach. Truth or dare.
Peach: Truth.
Bowser: Truth, is it? Okay. Did you or did you not get beat up by Luigi?
Yoshi & Toad: Uh oh.
Peach: I remember one time Waluigi sold Luigi's underwear on eBay. I bought them to give to Daisy. Luigi found out about it and beat up me and Waluigi.
Luigi: Damn right I did. Maybe I'll steal your bras and sell them.
Bowser: Ooookay. Waluigi told me about this before so I know it's true.
Yoshi & Toad: Whew...
Peach: Waluigi. Truth or dare.
Waluigi: Crunch...crunch...huh? What? Sorry. I was eating this cookie and I'm sitting by this wall so I can stay away from Yoshi and Toad.
Toad: Shut up, Freakazoid! Leave us alone!
Waluigi: What?! Anyway, Peach. I pick...dare.
Peach: I never see you stand up straight so I dare you to, you know, stand up straight.
Waluigi: That's too easy! What kind of dare is that? I want a different one. That's too stupid!
Peach: If it's so easy then do it already.
Waluigi: But...but...but...
Mario: Shut up and do it so you can take your turn.
(Waluigi got off his butt and started to stand up, but then he bonked his head on the ceiling because, like most sheds, the ceiling was lower near the walls. The idiot fell on D.K.)
D.K.: Finally. Some attention.
Waluigi: (operator-like voice) To continue playing, please insert one cookie.
D.K.: Uh...you better do what he said, Mario. Get me one too. Peanut butter please
(Mario got up and got two cookies, then he popped one of them in Waluigi's mouth and gave the other one to D.K.)
Waluigi: That wasn't very nice of you, your highness. All right. My turn. Luigi. Truth or dare.
Luigi: I'm not a wuss so I say dare.
Waluigi: I dare you to...go in the house and give Wario a wedgie.
Luigi: Cool. Time for some action.
(Luigi and Waluigi left the club house and walked to the house. It was dark outside and the only light in the house was coming from the kitchen. Luigi and Waluigi went to the door.)
Waluigi: Listen closely. I believe Wario is in the kitchen. All you have to do is give him a wedgie. I'd go in with you, but that would only make it harder to do. Now go, green one.
(Luigi went in the door, then Waluigi heard Luigi and Wario's voices.)
Luigi: Hee hee hee...
Wario: Hi Luigi. Back from the game? What's with that gleam in your eye? What are ya- Waaahhh!
Luigi: Yeah! I did it!
(There were some cool electrical noises, then the door opened and Wario tossed Luigi out. Luigi looked like he got blasted, but he also held what looked like a yellow piece of cloth.)
Luigi: It wasn't easy...but...I gave him...the wedgie.
Waluigi: Yes. I can tell.
(Luigi and Waluigi go back to the club house and go inside.)
Bowser: Oh, thank goodness you're back. Yoshi and Toad are annoying us. I can't stand it!
Luigi: My turn. Yoshi. Truth or dare. I'll make sure you won't like what you pick.
Yoshi: I don't want to be a wuss. Dare.
Luigi: I dare you to drink a special mixture that I shall make myself. You want to chicken out?
Yoshi: No. These cookies are making me thirsty.
Luigi: Suit yourself. You'll regret this.
(Luigi walked out.)
Toad: I thought he said you'd hate this.
Yoshi: You know, I think something's wrong here.
(In the kitchen, Luigi was looking in the fridge when Wario showed up.)
Luigi: Let's see...this looks kinda gross...
Wario: What are you trying to do now? It's bad enough that you gave me an atomic flying wedgie.
Luigi: Oh yeah...well...you almost paralyzed me. Does Yoshi annoy you?
Wario: He did fix the radio, but otherwise yes.
Luigi: Find some gross food and put it in the blender. Now what's this? Did I mention Yoshi made me pull your undies? Oh! Look at this.
(Luigi showed Wario a bottle of hot sause labled "Jamacan Hell Fire".)
Wario: Ooooh doctor. That will work wonders on Yoshi's stomach. Some of this will help...oh that looks gross...
(Back at the club house, most of the dudes were getting impatient until Luigi came back, holding a glass that contains an orange liquid.)
Yoshi: Goodie goodie. I needed something to drink.
Luigi: Here ya go, Yoshi.
(Luigi handed the glass to Yoshi and he started to drink it.)
Yoshi: Gulp...gulp...gulp...eep! Oh gross! What's with this stuff? Urp! Something's wrong with my tummy. I don't remember orange juice tasting so sickening.
Luigi: That isn't orange juice, my fat-headed friend. It's actually lemon juice, hot sause, mustard, horse radish, and sourkraut.
everyone: Whoa dude!
Yoshi: I don't feel so good. D.K. Truth of dare.
D.K.: Truth.
Toad: Wuss.
D.K.: Shut up! I dare you to shove that Power Ranger up your ass!
Yoshi: Wait your turn. D.K., are you are are you not the real Donkey Kong? Ugh...
D.K.: You can't believe a word Cranky says. You know how geezers are. They don't know what they're saying.
Yoshi: Whatever you say... I gotta go a sec.
(Yoshi walked out.)
Waluigi: Maybe we should call it quits for tonight. Yoshi sounded awfully sick.
D.K.: Darn. I wanted to dare Bowser to french kiss Yoshi.
Bowser: You wish. C'mon guys. Let's go back to the house and go to bed.
(Everyone left the club house. Waluigi took the cookies and turned the light off before he left. When they get to the house, Mario and Peach go into Phil's room, Bowser and D.K. stay in the living room and everyone else went into the boys' room. Wario was already fast asleep and Yoshi was in bed moaning and groaning. He also had a bowl next to the bed.)
Toad: Do I really want to sleep with Yoshi? He looks like he's gonna puke any second.
Luigi: Sleep on the couch in front of the TV then. Good night, dudes.
(Mario, Luigi, and Peach went to the club house and went inside. Waluigi had put the rug back in the middle of the floor and had the cookies on the table.)
Waluigi: Is this everyone?
Peach: There's some more on the way.
(Just then, Bowser and D.K. walked in dragging Yoshi and Toad behind them.)
Toad: May I ask you what's going on here?
Bowser: We're going to play Truth or Dare and you're going to like it. Now sit down and shut up!
(Everyone sat in a circle. The order they sat in, going clockwise, was Peach, Luigi, Mario, Waluigi, D.K., Toad, Yoshi, then Bowser. This might not matter, but anyway...)
Waluigi: Let's see... Mario gets first honors.
Mario: Thanks. Bowser, Truth or dare.
Bowser: Dare. What can you possibly make me do?
Mario: Embarrass yourself. I dare you to go to the store and borrow an ice cube.
Bowser: ...What?!
Waluigi: Wow. That sucks. I'll be the judge so let's go to the store, Bowser.
Bowser: Waaahhh! Darn it, Mario!
(Waluigi and Bowser left the club house.)
Luigi: Dude, what kind of dare is that?
Mario: One that will embarrass him.
Yoshi: Since nothing is happening, Toad, we'll review that last lesson again.
(Yoshi pulls out a red ranger and a red Tyrannosaurus robot.)
Yoshi: See Hawaiian Punch? He's red so he drives the red robot, in this case, Tyrannosaurus.
Toad: Don't talk about this here!
Peach, Mario, Luigi, & D.K.: Hmm?
Toad: Aww...fuck...
D.K.: Look! Yoshi and Toad are playing with Power Rangers again! I saw them do it this morning!
(Everyone laugh. Waluigi and Bowser came back in. Bowser didn't look too happy and I held a small bag of ice cubes.)
Bowser: That was soooo uncool.
Waluigi: What are you talking about? You scared the lady stiff!
Bowser: Actually, your face did it. I think I deserve a cookie for this.
(Bowser went to the table and picked up a cookie and shoved it in his mouth. Before he claimed his spot between Yoshi and Peach, he went behind Mario.)
Bowser: By the way...here's your god farsaken ice cubes!
(Bowser put the ice cubes down Mario's shirt.)
Mario: Aieee! That's cold! Get it out! Get it out!
Bowser: I've never seen Mario squirm like that before. Heh heh heh. My turn. Peach. Truth or dare.
Peach: Truth.
Bowser: Truth, is it? Okay. Did you or did you not get beat up by Luigi?
Yoshi & Toad: Uh oh.
Peach: I remember one time Waluigi sold Luigi's underwear on eBay. I bought them to give to Daisy. Luigi found out about it and beat up me and Waluigi.
Luigi: Damn right I did. Maybe I'll steal your bras and sell them.
Bowser: Ooookay. Waluigi told me about this before so I know it's true.
Yoshi & Toad: Whew...
Peach: Waluigi. Truth or dare.
Waluigi: Crunch...crunch...huh? What? Sorry. I was eating this cookie and I'm sitting by this wall so I can stay away from Yoshi and Toad.
Toad: Shut up, Freakazoid! Leave us alone!
Waluigi: What?! Anyway, Peach. I pick...dare.
Peach: I never see you stand up straight so I dare you to, you know, stand up straight.
Waluigi: That's too easy! What kind of dare is that? I want a different one. That's too stupid!
Peach: If it's so easy then do it already.
Waluigi: But...but...but...
Mario: Shut up and do it so you can take your turn.
(Waluigi got off his butt and started to stand up, but then he bonked his head on the ceiling because, like most sheds, the ceiling was lower near the walls. The idiot fell on D.K.)
D.K.: Finally. Some attention.
Waluigi: (operator-like voice) To continue playing, please insert one cookie.
D.K.: Uh...you better do what he said, Mario. Get me one too. Peanut butter please
(Mario got up and got two cookies, then he popped one of them in Waluigi's mouth and gave the other one to D.K.)
Waluigi: That wasn't very nice of you, your highness. All right. My turn. Luigi. Truth or dare.
Luigi: I'm not a wuss so I say dare.
Waluigi: I dare you to...go in the house and give Wario a wedgie.
Luigi: Cool. Time for some action.
(Luigi and Waluigi left the club house and walked to the house. It was dark outside and the only light in the house was coming from the kitchen. Luigi and Waluigi went to the door.)
Waluigi: Listen closely. I believe Wario is in the kitchen. All you have to do is give him a wedgie. I'd go in with you, but that would only make it harder to do. Now go, green one.
(Luigi went in the door, then Waluigi heard Luigi and Wario's voices.)
Luigi: Hee hee hee...
Wario: Hi Luigi. Back from the game? What's with that gleam in your eye? What are ya- Waaahhh!
Luigi: Yeah! I did it!
(There were some cool electrical noises, then the door opened and Wario tossed Luigi out. Luigi looked like he got blasted, but he also held what looked like a yellow piece of cloth.)
Luigi: It wasn't easy...but...I gave him...the wedgie.
Waluigi: Yes. I can tell.
(Luigi and Waluigi go back to the club house and go inside.)
Bowser: Oh, thank goodness you're back. Yoshi and Toad are annoying us. I can't stand it!
Luigi: My turn. Yoshi. Truth or dare. I'll make sure you won't like what you pick.
Yoshi: I don't want to be a wuss. Dare.
Luigi: I dare you to drink a special mixture that I shall make myself. You want to chicken out?
Yoshi: No. These cookies are making me thirsty.
Luigi: Suit yourself. You'll regret this.
(Luigi walked out.)
Toad: I thought he said you'd hate this.
Yoshi: You know, I think something's wrong here.
(In the kitchen, Luigi was looking in the fridge when Wario showed up.)
Luigi: Let's see...this looks kinda gross...
Wario: What are you trying to do now? It's bad enough that you gave me an atomic flying wedgie.
Luigi: Oh yeah...well...you almost paralyzed me. Does Yoshi annoy you?
Wario: He did fix the radio, but otherwise yes.
Luigi: Find some gross food and put it in the blender. Now what's this? Did I mention Yoshi made me pull your undies? Oh! Look at this.
(Luigi showed Wario a bottle of hot sause labled "Jamacan Hell Fire".)
Wario: Ooooh doctor. That will work wonders on Yoshi's stomach. Some of this will help...oh that looks gross...
(Back at the club house, most of the dudes were getting impatient until Luigi came back, holding a glass that contains an orange liquid.)
Yoshi: Goodie goodie. I needed something to drink.
Luigi: Here ya go, Yoshi.
(Luigi handed the glass to Yoshi and he started to drink it.)
Yoshi: Gulp...gulp...gulp...eep! Oh gross! What's with this stuff? Urp! Something's wrong with my tummy. I don't remember orange juice tasting so sickening.
Luigi: That isn't orange juice, my fat-headed friend. It's actually lemon juice, hot sause, mustard, horse radish, and sourkraut.
everyone: Whoa dude!
Yoshi: I don't feel so good. D.K. Truth of dare.
D.K.: Truth.
Toad: Wuss.
D.K.: Shut up! I dare you to shove that Power Ranger up your ass!
Yoshi: Wait your turn. D.K., are you are are you not the real Donkey Kong? Ugh...
D.K.: You can't believe a word Cranky says. You know how geezers are. They don't know what they're saying.
Yoshi: Whatever you say... I gotta go a sec.
(Yoshi walked out.)
Waluigi: Maybe we should call it quits for tonight. Yoshi sounded awfully sick.
D.K.: Darn. I wanted to dare Bowser to french kiss Yoshi.
Bowser: You wish. C'mon guys. Let's go back to the house and go to bed.
(Everyone left the club house. Waluigi took the cookies and turned the light off before he left. When they get to the house, Mario and Peach go into Phil's room, Bowser and D.K. stay in the living room and everyone else went into the boys' room. Wario was already fast asleep and Yoshi was in bed moaning and groaning. He also had a bowl next to the bed.)
Toad: Do I really want to sleep with Yoshi? He looks like he's gonna puke any second.
Luigi: Sleep on the couch in front of the TV then. Good night, dudes.