The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 22: Movie Madness
(It is afternooon and everyone was in the living room. Daisy was holding two tapes in one hand and Kirby in the other.)
Mario: What movies did you rent, Daisy?
Daisy: One is Happy Gilmore and the other is Soth Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut.
Mario: Good choices.
Daisy: But what do we watch first? I know. I'll let Puffy Wuffy pick.
Toad: I want some fucking South Park!
Kirby: I like happy things so I want to see Happy Gilmore.
Toad: I said South Park, dammit!
Kirby: Goodness. Do you always talk like that?
Daisy: Really Toad. Cutiepuff says he wants to see Happy Gilmore.
(Daisy puts the video in the VCR.)
Daisy: And knowing how much you swear, you'll probably like this, Toad.
(For those of you who didn't know already, Happy Gilmore is about a guy that used to play hockey. The IRS took his grandma's house and he has to raise enough money to get it back. After he found out how good he is at golf, and being able to drive the ball 400 yards is VERY good, he decides to get money by joining the Pro Tour. Unfortunatly, he's extremely short- tempered which gets in his way a lot. Anyway, a little later in the movie, Happy goes to hit the ball...but he missed!
Happy: BEEPing BEEP! BEEP me in the BEEPing ass! BEEP you, you stupid BEEP BEEPer! Monkey BEEP licking BEEPer! BEEP! Fuck that!
Kirby: That surely isn't good...
Wario: Looks like Waluigi when he misses!
Waluigi: Grrrrr...
D.K.: Did he say something about monkeys?
Luigi: ?!?!
Bowser: Ha ha ha. You're funny, Luigi.
(A few mintues later Happy was on the 17th green and some guy is telling him that the hole is the ball's home. Happy hits the ball, but it didn't go far enough.)
Happy: Son-of-a-bitch ball, why don't you just go home?! That's your home! Are you too good for your home?! Answer me! Suck my white ass, ball!
(Happy takes a flagpole and hurls it at a cameraman.)
Wario: That, people, is why Waluigi isn't in Mario Golf.
Waluigi: Shut up...
Peach: Adam Sandler movies were always quite strange.
Mario: You can say that again.
Peach: Adam Sandler movies were always quite strange.
Luigi: ?!?!
Bowser: You're silly.
(Later, Happy was in a tournament where everyone had to golf with a celebrity. Happy was stuck with Bob Barker, the host of the game show The Price is Right. After a few bad holes, Happy and Bob got in a fight. Happy tackles Bob and headbutts him, seemingly knocking him out.)
Happy: The price is wrong, bitch.
(Suddenly, Bob grabs Happy and punches him a few times, throwing him to the ground.)
Bob: I think you've had enough.
(Bob starts to walk away. Happy tries to get back up.)
Bob: No?
(Bob kicks Happy in the face, knocking him out cold.)
Bob: Now you've had enough...bitch.
Toad: What the hell? That is NOT like Bob at all!
Yoshi: I'll say.
Luigi: ?!?!
Bowser: You gotta teach me how to do that.
Wario: Hmm...I'm not sure if Waluigi gets in a fight when he loses.
Waluigi: Shut it, Wario.
(Later still, Happy was minigolfing. The course he was on has a big clown's head. The object here is to hit the ball up the tongue ramp and into the mouth. Happy tries it once, but the clown blocks the ball with it's teeth. and laughs and annoying laugh. Happy tries it again, but the clown blocks and laughs again. Happy tries it a third time. This time the ball goes in, but the clown spit it out and laughs.)
Happy: You're gonna die, clown!
(Happy runs up to the clown and used his putter to smack the clown's nose off. Sparks go flying and the laugh becomes warped and finally it stops.)
Kirby: I don't think his name should be Happy.
Daisy: You got that right, you little cutie.
Wario: I can see Waluigi doing that.
Waluigi: I thought I told you to shut up!
Luigi: ?!?!
Bowser: You have a lot to say, huh?
(When the movie ends, Daisy stops the tape and rewinds it.)
Waluigi: Hey Toad.
Toad: What?
Waluigi: Beeping beep! Beep me in the beeping ass! Beep you, you stupid beep beeper! Monkey beep licking beeper! Beep! Fuck that!
Toad: That was weird. It sounds way better if you really swear.
Waluigi: I don't know what he says.
Toad: I do. He says... Fucking shit! Fuck me in the fucking ass! Fuck you, you stupid cunt fucker! Monkey shit licking fucker! Shit! Fuck that!
Waluigi: No wonder most of that was beeped out.
Luigi: If you think that was cool, get a load of this.
(Luigi inhales deeply.)
Luigi: FUCKING SHIT! FUCK ME IN THE FUCKING ASS! FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID CUNT FUCKER! MONKEY SHIT LICKING FUCKER! SHIT! FUCK THAT!
Toad: Dammit!
(Bowser looks at Luigi with heart-shaped eyes.)
Bowser: Awsome...
Daisy: Now it's time to watch South Park.
(Daisy took the tape out of the VCR and put in the other one.)
Toad: This is gonna be good...
(South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut is about..well...uh... How do I put this? I'm pretty sure you're familiar with South Park. If you're not, you're either too young or an idiot. And if you're too young, I just have one question to ask you...What in heaven's name are you doing here?! Anyway, later the kids were in class saying the F word a bunch of times and the teacher was getting mad.)
Mr. Garison: How would you like to see the principal?
Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?!
(All the kids gasp.)
Mr. Garison: What did you say?!
Cartman: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Actually, what I meant to say was...
(Cartman gets a megaphone out.)
Cartman: Ahem...HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS...MR. GARISON?!
(Mr. Garison stares.)
Stan: Holy shit, dude.
Kirby: Well, he's going to see the principal.
Daisy: Ummm...yup.
Peach: Where can I get a megaphone like that?
(Later on, the kids saw the Terrence and Phillip movie again and were walking down the street. Cartman doesn't think it's possible to light farts on fire, but Kenny thinks it can be done.)
Cartman: Okay Kenny. I bet you a hundred dollars you can't light a fart on fire.
Kenny: (muffled) Yes you can. Check it out.
(Kenny lights a match, holds it up to his butt and farts, creating a small flame. Kenny chuckles, but then he bursts into flames.)
D.K.: Ouch...
Waluigi: Wario, do all all a favor and don't light your farts on fire. You might burn the house down.
Wario: Hey!
(Later still, there was a scene that was focused on the Baldwins. On was talking on a cell phone and two others where in a pool. By the way, Bowser fall asleep.)
Baldwin 1: Baldwin residense. No, this is Billy Baldwin. If you want Danial Baldwin, call his extension. Sssstupid!
Baldwin 2: Hey Alan. Do you know what sucks about being a Baldwin?
Baldwin 3: No. What?
Baldwin 2: Nothing! Ha ha ha!
Luigi: Hey Mario. Do you know what sucks about being a Mario brother?
Mario: Uh...no.
Luigi: Nothing! Bwhahahaha!
Mario: Oh. Really original.
(Even later, Mario Wario and D.K. fell asleeep. It was getting dark outside so it was no surprise that people were falling asleep. Anyway, in the movie Stan, Kyle, Cartman and The Mole, a kid that looks like he belongs in the army, were going to free Terrence and Phillip. The Mole starts to dig a hole.)
Kyle: Be careful, dude.
The Mole: Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coathanger while I was still in the womb?
Yoshi: Is that possible?
Toad: How the hell should I know? It's just a fucking cartoon.
Yoshi: Sorry I asked...
(By the time the movie was over, Luigi, Toad and Kirby were the only ones awake. Everyone else was asleep.)
Toad: Well, that sucked.
Kirby: What do we do now?
Toad: I dunno...and I bet Luigi doesn't know either.
Luigi: Lemme think for a minute.
(Luigi looked at Mario. He was sleeping next to Peach and was snoring loudly.)
Luigi: Hmm...I got something that is worth watching...
(It is afternooon and everyone was in the living room. Daisy was holding two tapes in one hand and Kirby in the other.)
Mario: What movies did you rent, Daisy?
Daisy: One is Happy Gilmore and the other is Soth Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut.
Mario: Good choices.
Daisy: But what do we watch first? I know. I'll let Puffy Wuffy pick.
Toad: I want some fucking South Park!
Kirby: I like happy things so I want to see Happy Gilmore.
Toad: I said South Park, dammit!
Kirby: Goodness. Do you always talk like that?
Daisy: Really Toad. Cutiepuff says he wants to see Happy Gilmore.
(Daisy puts the video in the VCR.)
Daisy: And knowing how much you swear, you'll probably like this, Toad.
(For those of you who didn't know already, Happy Gilmore is about a guy that used to play hockey. The IRS took his grandma's house and he has to raise enough money to get it back. After he found out how good he is at golf, and being able to drive the ball 400 yards is VERY good, he decides to get money by joining the Pro Tour. Unfortunatly, he's extremely short- tempered which gets in his way a lot. Anyway, a little later in the movie, Happy goes to hit the ball...but he missed!
Happy: BEEPing BEEP! BEEP me in the BEEPing ass! BEEP you, you stupid BEEP BEEPer! Monkey BEEP licking BEEPer! BEEP! Fuck that!
Kirby: That surely isn't good...
Wario: Looks like Waluigi when he misses!
Waluigi: Grrrrr...
D.K.: Did he say something about monkeys?
Luigi: ?!?!
Bowser: Ha ha ha. You're funny, Luigi.
(A few mintues later Happy was on the 17th green and some guy is telling him that the hole is the ball's home. Happy hits the ball, but it didn't go far enough.)
Happy: Son-of-a-bitch ball, why don't you just go home?! That's your home! Are you too good for your home?! Answer me! Suck my white ass, ball!
(Happy takes a flagpole and hurls it at a cameraman.)
Wario: That, people, is why Waluigi isn't in Mario Golf.
Waluigi: Shut up...
Peach: Adam Sandler movies were always quite strange.
Mario: You can say that again.
Peach: Adam Sandler movies were always quite strange.
Luigi: ?!?!
Bowser: You're silly.
(Later, Happy was in a tournament where everyone had to golf with a celebrity. Happy was stuck with Bob Barker, the host of the game show The Price is Right. After a few bad holes, Happy and Bob got in a fight. Happy tackles Bob and headbutts him, seemingly knocking him out.)
Happy: The price is wrong, bitch.
(Suddenly, Bob grabs Happy and punches him a few times, throwing him to the ground.)
Bob: I think you've had enough.
(Bob starts to walk away. Happy tries to get back up.)
Bob: No?
(Bob kicks Happy in the face, knocking him out cold.)
Bob: Now you've had enough...bitch.
Toad: What the hell? That is NOT like Bob at all!
Yoshi: I'll say.
Luigi: ?!?!
Bowser: You gotta teach me how to do that.
Wario: Hmm...I'm not sure if Waluigi gets in a fight when he loses.
Waluigi: Shut it, Wario.
(Later still, Happy was minigolfing. The course he was on has a big clown's head. The object here is to hit the ball up the tongue ramp and into the mouth. Happy tries it once, but the clown blocks the ball with it's teeth. and laughs and annoying laugh. Happy tries it again, but the clown blocks and laughs again. Happy tries it a third time. This time the ball goes in, but the clown spit it out and laughs.)
Happy: You're gonna die, clown!
(Happy runs up to the clown and used his putter to smack the clown's nose off. Sparks go flying and the laugh becomes warped and finally it stops.)
Kirby: I don't think his name should be Happy.
Daisy: You got that right, you little cutie.
Wario: I can see Waluigi doing that.
Waluigi: I thought I told you to shut up!
Luigi: ?!?!
Bowser: You have a lot to say, huh?
(When the movie ends, Daisy stops the tape and rewinds it.)
Waluigi: Hey Toad.
Toad: What?
Waluigi: Beeping beep! Beep me in the beeping ass! Beep you, you stupid beep beeper! Monkey beep licking beeper! Beep! Fuck that!
Toad: That was weird. It sounds way better if you really swear.
Waluigi: I don't know what he says.
Toad: I do. He says... Fucking shit! Fuck me in the fucking ass! Fuck you, you stupid cunt fucker! Monkey shit licking fucker! Shit! Fuck that!
Waluigi: No wonder most of that was beeped out.
Luigi: If you think that was cool, get a load of this.
(Luigi inhales deeply.)
Luigi: FUCKING SHIT! FUCK ME IN THE FUCKING ASS! FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID CUNT FUCKER! MONKEY SHIT LICKING FUCKER! SHIT! FUCK THAT!
Toad: Dammit!
(Bowser looks at Luigi with heart-shaped eyes.)
Bowser: Awsome...
Daisy: Now it's time to watch South Park.
(Daisy took the tape out of the VCR and put in the other one.)
Toad: This is gonna be good...
(South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut is about..well...uh... How do I put this? I'm pretty sure you're familiar with South Park. If you're not, you're either too young or an idiot. And if you're too young, I just have one question to ask you...What in heaven's name are you doing here?! Anyway, later the kids were in class saying the F word a bunch of times and the teacher was getting mad.)
Mr. Garison: How would you like to see the principal?
Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?!
(All the kids gasp.)
Mr. Garison: What did you say?!
Cartman: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Actually, what I meant to say was...
(Cartman gets a megaphone out.)
Cartman: Ahem...HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS...MR. GARISON?!
(Mr. Garison stares.)
Stan: Holy shit, dude.
Kirby: Well, he's going to see the principal.
Daisy: Ummm...yup.
Peach: Where can I get a megaphone like that?
(Later on, the kids saw the Terrence and Phillip movie again and were walking down the street. Cartman doesn't think it's possible to light farts on fire, but Kenny thinks it can be done.)
Cartman: Okay Kenny. I bet you a hundred dollars you can't light a fart on fire.
Kenny: (muffled) Yes you can. Check it out.
(Kenny lights a match, holds it up to his butt and farts, creating a small flame. Kenny chuckles, but then he bursts into flames.)
D.K.: Ouch...
Waluigi: Wario, do all all a favor and don't light your farts on fire. You might burn the house down.
Wario: Hey!
(Later still, there was a scene that was focused on the Baldwins. On was talking on a cell phone and two others where in a pool. By the way, Bowser fall asleep.)
Baldwin 1: Baldwin residense. No, this is Billy Baldwin. If you want Danial Baldwin, call his extension. Sssstupid!
Baldwin 2: Hey Alan. Do you know what sucks about being a Baldwin?
Baldwin 3: No. What?
Baldwin 2: Nothing! Ha ha ha!
Luigi: Hey Mario. Do you know what sucks about being a Mario brother?
Mario: Uh...no.
Luigi: Nothing! Bwhahahaha!
Mario: Oh. Really original.
(Even later, Mario Wario and D.K. fell asleeep. It was getting dark outside so it was no surprise that people were falling asleep. Anyway, in the movie Stan, Kyle, Cartman and The Mole, a kid that looks like he belongs in the army, were going to free Terrence and Phillip. The Mole starts to dig a hole.)
Kyle: Be careful, dude.
The Mole: Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coathanger while I was still in the womb?
Yoshi: Is that possible?
Toad: How the hell should I know? It's just a fucking cartoon.
Yoshi: Sorry I asked...
(By the time the movie was over, Luigi, Toad and Kirby were the only ones awake. Everyone else was asleep.)
Toad: Well, that sucked.
Kirby: What do we do now?
Toad: I dunno...and I bet Luigi doesn't know either.
Luigi: Lemme think for a minute.
(Luigi looked at Mario. He was sleeping next to Peach and was snoring loudly.)
Luigi: Hmm...I got something that is worth watching...