Luigi: Oh dear God! What have I done!
(Bowser was pushing the Mario iceblock back to the house. Luigi, Daisy, and Kirby trail behind.)
Kirby: It's not your fault.
Daisy: Yeah. It was just an accident.
Luigi: Whatever. Mario's gonna be pissed.
(When they got to the house, Daisy held the door open so Bowser could push the iceblock in the house. Inside, Peach, Wario, Yoshi and Toad were sitting at the table when Bowser, Luigi, Daisy and Kirby came in.)
Wario: Huh? You're back?
Toad: What the hell is that?
Yoshi: An iceblock! You guys go out to look for Mario and you come back with an iceblock!
Peach: Uh...Yoshi? I think the iceblock IS Mario.
(Waluigi and D.K. walk in. D.K. looks fine, despite the beating he got earliar.)
Waluigi: Whoa...that's not pretty...
D.K.: That's Mario!
(Luigi leaned on the iceblock.)
Luigi: I'm afraid so.
Daisy: Any idea on what to do?
Peach: Obvoiusly, you melt the ice, dumbass. Oops. I didn't mean that.
(Daisy gave Peach a dirty look.)
Peach: Sorry about that.
Bowser: I'll use my fire breath to get him out.
Luigi: What mode are you going to use on him?
Bowser: Usually, I'd use ice thaw mode, but since this is a bit of an emergency, I'll use roast plumber mode.
Luigi: Fair enough...
(Bowser started to shoot the frozen brother with a steady stream of fire. After a minute, half of the ice was gone, but it looks like Luigi's freaking out a little bit.)
Luigi: Ack!
(Bowser stops his attack.)
Bowser: What's wrong?
Luigi: You're burning Mario's leg!
(Bowser looks at Mario's right leg and saw it did get a little burnt.)
Bowser: Oops...
Luigi: I'll get rid of the rest of the ice.
(With a few swift, but powerful kicks, Luigi breaks the rest of the ice off Mario. Everyone looks at the unfortunate plumber.)
Waluigi: Dude, his face is blue.
Wario: And he ain't movi'...
Yoshi: He isn't even breathing.
Peach: This surely isn't good.
Toad: Well, don't just stand there gawking at him! Make him fucking wake up!
(Toad starts to slap Mario around.)
Toad: Live!
(Slap!)
Toad: Liiive!
(Slap!)
Toad: LIVE, DAMN YOU!
Daisy: Toad! Stop that!
Kirby: That's not how to revive people!
Bowser: Get off him!
(Bowser grabs Toad and pulls him away from Mario, then Luigi starts to do CPR on Mario.)
Bowser: That, Toad, is how you're supposed to revive someone.
Toad: Ah, screw you, you big bastard.
Luigi: C'mon Mario. Don't die on me now...
(After a few minutes of trying, Luigi finally gets the big bro to respond. Mario wakes up and coughs several times.)
Mario: Cough cough...Weegie...?
Luigi: Are you okay, Mario?
Mario: Weegie...what happened? Cough cough...
Luigi: Oh dear. Bowser, bring Mario into the living room and sit him in a chair. Someone, fill a bucket with warm water. That's WARM water, not HOT water.
(Bowser gently picked up Mario and put him in one of the chairs in the living room. Luigi carefully takes Mario's socks and shoes off.)
Mario: Cough...I feel terrible...
(Daisy brought a bucket of water into the living room. Luigi took it and put in front of Mario, then he he put his frozen feet in the warm water.)
Luigi: That isn't too hot, is it?
(Luigi dipped a finger in the water to test it.)
Luigi: Perfect.
(Everyone came into the room and sadly looked at Mario.)
Luigi: Hey guys. Don't stare at him like that. You can go back to whatever you were doing.
Wario: You mean jacking off?
Luigi: You were jacking off!
Wario: No, but Waluigi was before you came.
Waluigi: You're a lair, you sick freak!
(Luigi shakes his head.)
Luigi: Anyway, I'm gonna need one of you to stick around and help me out with Mario.
Kirby: I'll do it!
Daisy: It's just like you to volenteer, Kirby.
Luigi: Good. Thanks Kirby.
(Kirby nods.)
Luigi: Okay guys. You can go back to vacationing. Seriously though. Mario's gonna be fine.
(Everyone goes upstairs.)
Luigi: All right, Kirby. Basically, your job is to get whatever I tell you to get, because I don't want to leave Mario alone. Got it?
(Kirby does a salute.)
Kirby: Okay!
Luigi: Great. Here's your first assignment. Go upstairs and get some towels.
Kirby: All right. Here I go!
(Kirby hopped up the stairs.)
Luigi: Hey Mario. How are you feeling?
Mario: Well...cough...at least I can feel my toes...cough cough...
Luigi: Um...it's a start anyway...
(Kirby returned with some towels.)
Kirby: Here's the towels, Luigi. Oh, and I found this toy stetoscope. I used it on Yoshi and it works.
(Kirby gave Luigi the towels and the stethoscope.)
Luigi: Yeeeeh...thanks.
(Luigi put the stetoscope around his neck, then he took Mario's feet out of the water and started to dry them with one of the towels.)
Luigi: Okay Kirby. Now I need you to get a fresh pair of pajamas for Mario. I can't let him sit around in wet clothes or his condition will worsen.
(Kirby hopped up the stairs again. A minute later, Bowser came down.)
Bowser: Hey Doctor Luigi. What's up?
Luigi: Don't ask. I'm busy.
Bowser: Sorry.
(Kirby came back with a pair of Mario's pajamas.)
Kirby: Here you go!
Luigi: Thanks. Now let's see what we can do about Mario...