5.

Julie raised her eyebrows giving her mother an incredulous look.

"What did you do that for?" I'm going to get Lucas." She turned to go.

Arlene grabbed her daughter's arm. "You will not. You'll wait."

"But Mom hasn't that lunatic hurt Lisa enough?"

"No," Arlene said soberly. "Not as much as she's intent on hurting herself. Just give them a few minutes."

Julie looked unconvinced.

"Please?" Arlene was not in the habit of asking. It had long been her custom to give the orders to her children and like a drill sergeant, she expected them to be carried out immediately, without question. In this instance however, she needed Julie to see and to understand. She needed her youngest daughter to give Lisa the chance to make the right choice for herself, for her life.

"Okay." Julie said simply. "But if they're both still in there after 10 minutes . . ."

"Alright, alright," Arlene said, nodding vigorously. Then, taking Julie's arm, mother and daughter turned and walked down the hall together.

It took a few moments for House's eyes to adjust to the relative gloom of Cuddy's bedroom. The blinds had been drawn, evidently to provide some privacy while Cuddy was getting dressed. The only visible light in the room was the sunlight streaming in around the window frames and the illumination reflecting from the lights that were on in the master bath.

A whole host of memories besieged House as he stood there, of making love to Cuddy, sleeping with her and of the last time he was in this room, when he hid under the bed to playfully surprise her when her alarm woke her up that fateful morning.

He suddenly felt awkward and out of place. What the hell had he been thinking? Obviously, with the hangover, he hadn't been thinking at all. He was tired and his leg was hurting besides. What was more, in his haste to face up to Cuddy he'd left his pain pills at home.

His gut reaction was to dodge additional pain, to cut his losses and run but just as his limbs began to respond to his brain's direction, Cuddy stepped out of the bathroom.

"Julie? Were you talking to Mom? Can you help me with the buttons . . ."

She looked up and their eyes met. For one brief moment that stretched out into infinity, the electricity of their connection coalesced between her sea-green eyes and his cobalt blue ones.

House's intake of breath, though sharp, was inaudible. Cuddy looked simply stunning in a floor length, mermaid-style gown that accentuated her generous curves. The strapless top of the gown revealed her smooth shoulders, graceful neck and plunging cleavage.

Small white flowers were interlaced in her dark hair that cascaded to her shoulders. Her lips were the color of rubies and glistened with her freshly applied makeup.

They both continued to stand there, speechless. Cuddy was the first to recover herself.

"Just what in the hell do you think you're doing here?"

"Bei mir bist du shayn,"1 House said so softly that Cuddy wasn't sure if he'd spoken at all.

"What? What did you say?"

House shook himself to try and break out of the almost dreamlike stupor he felt he had been under since Cuddy entered the room.

"What?" House said.

"I asked what the hell did you think you're doing by coming here today of all days?"

The harsh tone of her words sliced through the air, cutting the tenuous connection between them. House regained his footing.

"Came to kiss the bride."

"Over my dead body! Get out!"

"Sorry, not into necrophilia although I did know a guy in med school who . . ."

"Didn't you hear me? I said get out!"

"Oh I heard you the first time."

"Get out or I'll call Lucas!"

House couldn't help but laugh.

"And what good will that do? Do you think you'll see us fight over you? Sorry to disappoint you but I didn't come here for that."

"Then what did you come here for? To reek your revenge by spoiling my wedding day? Did you hire helicopters to fly low over my backyard or release African killer bees to attack the flowers and my guests?"

House felt himself put suddenly on the spot. He looked at her with such an intense, haunted gaze that Cuddy was forced to look away, dropping her eyes to the floor.

Even after all this time, even after all they'd been through, even after she had broken up with him and even though it was the day of her wedding to another man, Cuddy felt as if her heart was beating again for the first time since she'd gone over to House's apartment to tell him it was over.

My God, how she loved him, how she still loved him.

House gave her a melancholy smile. "Those are all good ideas. Mind if I write them down?"

"House!"

She was standing in front of him, her breasts heaving with the increase in her respiration, her cheeks flushed with her anger. Then and there he wanted to kiss her, rip her dress from her shoulders, make love to her. He wanted to take her in his arms and never let go.

Cuddy looked like she had just stepped off the creamy white icing of a wedding cake; as if she had walked out of a bridal magazine. Her dress was lovely, her makeup, perfect, every hair was in place. She was every little girl's dream of a beautiful bride, all in white, ready to marry her prince charming.

And that was when House reminded himself that he could never be the man who could give her what she wanted. This was her dream, to get married, all in white with flowers in her hair to a handsome man in a tuxedo who patiently waited for her at the end of the aisle.

A man who stood solidly on two strong legs, without a cane.

A sudden spasm assailed his right thigh, heightening his own sense of demoralization and defeat. He gritted his teeth, grimacing only slightly in a heroic effort to maintain a neutral expression and refrain from massaging the offending muscle.

He was able to keep his voice even as he quietly spoke again.

"Turn around."

"What?"

"You said you needed help with your buttons. Turn around."

For reasons she was never sure of, Lisa Cuddy turned her back to him, piling her hair on the top of her head with one hand as she did so.

House flared his nostrils at the heady scent of her perfume as he dutifully began fastening the buttons of her gown, one by one.

He was glad she was facing the other direction. If she wasn't looking at him, she couldn't see how this simple act was tearing him up. And if she wasn't looking at him, perhaps he could at last say goodbye.

Cuddy could feel his long, agile fingers closing the buttons on her dress, lightly brushing the heated flesh along her spine.

She always reacted this way to him. Whether unconsciously or not, House's mere presence in the same room was enough to set her heart racing, her skin feel warmer, her cheeks blush uncontrollably and when she moved, her hips sway robustly.

Damn the man. Damn his arresting blue eyes, his tall, well-framed body, his talented lips and hands, his masculine sound and scent. Damn him his unforgivable, undeniable, charismatic sexual allure and intensity. The fact that even with his enormous ego, House himself was completely unaware of the fascination he held for her made him even more captivating.

As he continued his task, Cuddy closed her eyes and imagined a much different scenario; that it was House who waited for her at the end of the aisle, that it was House whom she had already married hours ago and that it was House here on their wedding night and instead of closing her gown, he was effortlessly unbuttoning it.

In moments it would pool on the floor around her feet. Then she would step out of it and walk into his arms. They would lie down together on the bed and she would feel him moving inside her, filling her utterly. His eagerness would only be matched with her own as together they would begin their honeymoon and the future of their married life.

She was snapped back to reality when he finished and she felt his warm palms gently pressing on her naked shoulders. She wanted him to reach beneath the dress and caress her breasts. She wanted him to take her to the bed where she would wrap him within her arms and her body. She wanted him to make love to her with her guests and her groom all outside waiting, waiting as she screamed his name in the heat of passion over and over again, all else standing still waiting for her. She wanted House to stay with her, for them to stay together in this room and let the rest of the world all go to hell.

"House?" she choked.

"I just wanted . . ." he said, so close behind her that his warm breath raised the gooseflesh on her neck. "To wish you . . . good luck. I want you to be happy Cuddy. I've only always wanted you to be happy."

Cuddy felt him slide his hands from her shoulders and turn away. She spun around and found herself looking at his retreating back.

"House?"

He did not turn around. "What?"

"What about your . . .," she faltered. Everything said that it was wrong. But her heart knew it was right. "Didn't you want to kiss the bride?"

House slowly turned to face her once more. While his beautiful eyes shone in the purest cobalt blue, his expression was unreadable. Doubtless he had arranged his features before he had turned back to her.

"I don't think it would be a good idea."

"Don't think," Cuddy said quickly, afraid of breaking the spell as she stepped forward. "Just do. It's my wedding day. You can't refuse the bride's request."

House closed the distance between them in one step, all the while Cuddy's eyes beseeching him in the darkness while her red lips ceaselessly beckoned to him. He couldn't resist. It would be like taking a bite of a wild strawberry on a hot summer's day.

But as he bent down to press his lips to hers, fear gripped his heart again. Once he began kissing her, he knew he would never want to stop. He also knew that having to stop would haunt his dreams and his waking visions for the rest of his life.

Nearly to her lips, House changed direction, intending to kiss her chastely on the forehead.

Cuddy still had her eyes open as he leaned toward her. She saw him make the course change. Without hesitation, she took both her hands and firmly clasped hold of either side of his face, moving him back into position.

House's half-closed eyes flew open in surprise as Cuddy brought his lips to her own, kissing him full on the mouth.

House moaned in both despair and ecstasy while Cuddy echoed his moan with one of her own. They both closed their eyes at the same time as they opened their mouths, allowing their tongues to join rapturously together.

House's arms automatically wrapped around her small frame as he felt Cuddy drop her hands from his face and reach around his lean waist, pressing her body against his. He moaned again.

The room, his heart, his mind were all spinning simultaneously. Here in this moment kissing her, feeling her breasts, her warmth against him, so close together, there were no longer two people but one. And he knew that this was what he wanted, everything and all that he wanted stretching out until the end of time.

He needed to keep this moment and make it last forever, to never leave her lips and her warm arms until the last breath of life shuddered from his body.

But his dearest wish was not hers, would never be hers. So with an effort, he drew away.

Cuddy opened her eyes slowly and licked her lips, savoring him. She also tasted salt on her tongue and realized that the tears she tasted were not her own. She caught a glimpse of the stains on his cheeks as he turned toward the door once more.

He paused with his hand grasping the doorknob. "Be happy Cuddy. You deserve to be happy."

House opened the door and went through it, closing it tightly behind him.

Cuddy stared at the closed door for a few seconds before she threw herself against it, locking it securely. Then she slowly sank to her knees, put her face into her hands and wept.

1 Yiddish phrase meaning: "To me you're (you've always been) beautiful"