Chapter 32: Joking Around

(Everyone except for Mario and Luigi were sitting in the kitchen eating fishsticks and Sloppy Joes and discussing any plans that they may have.)

Peach: So...what does everyone have planned for today?

Wario: I totally want to go in the pool again, but I see that the snow is still here.

Waluigi: Agreed. I want to start the Clubhouse Games back up. This snow fucked up everything.

Yoshi: So true. I wanted to go to the store today.

Bowser: This snow can't last forever, right? I mean, that'd be ridiculous.

Daisy: We should check the weather on TV. Maybe it'll say when things will get back to normal.

Toad: Considering all the bad luck we've been having lately, I doubt it.

(Bowser, Daisy and Toad leave the table and go into the living room where Mario and Luigi were. Luigi was feeding fishsticks to Mario, but he wasn't eating anything himself.)

Luigi: Blargh...I feel like shit...

Daisy: What's wrong, Weegiepoo? Have an upset stomach? Maybe you should take some Pe-

Luigi: Stop calling me that!

Daisy: Sorry. Just asking a question.

Luigi: It's not my stomach. I'm feeling down I guess. I just can't seem to get any energy going today. I usually only feel like this on rainy days though.

Daisy: Well...it's probably because you stayed up last night.

Bowser: Actually Daisy. It is raining right now.

(While Luigi and Daisy were talking, Bowser had turned the TV on and was looking at a weather report. The forecast clearly shows rain. Of course one could also look out the window and see the water as well.)

Toad: Well I'll be damned.

(Everyone came in and heard the news.)

Yoshi: Yay! It's raining! We can go outside again soon!

Wario: Oh really? How do you figure?

Yoshi: The rain will get rid of the snow. Right? Or am I missing something?

Wario: First of all, there sure is a lot of snow out there. Assuming that there's even enough rain to melt it all in the first place, we'll have a nice wet mess for awhile. Seeing as, you know, melted snow is water.

D.K.: Hey. Does anyone have any Goosebumps?

Peach: I have some on my ar-

D.K.: No no. I meant the books by R.L. Stein. I haven't read a good book in ages. I want to read something besides LAS.

Bowser: Sure. I brought one called How I Got My Shrunken Head. Sound good?

D.K.: Hell yeah! That's my favorite!

Bowser: Come right this way then.

(Bowser and D.K. go upstairs.)

Kirby: Hmm...I think D.K. has the right idea.

Daisy: What do you mean, Kirbster?

Kirby: Reading is great for rainy days such as this one.

Yoshi: Yeah, but there isn't much to read around here. I've checked.

Kirby: Well, we can also tell stories.

Waluigi: You mean like ghost stories?

Kirby: I guess that's an option. Sure.

Wario: How about jokes? There's this one that I've been dying to tell.

Kirby: That could work too.

Luigi: Sorry guys, but I still feel crappy. I'm going back to sleep. Move over, Mario! I want in!

(Luigi shoves Mario a bit and climbs into bed.)

Peach: I'd like to hear your joke, Wario. Tell us!

Wario: Okay. Here we go. There was a white yoshi, a black yoshi and a green yoshi. They heard that there's a cliff at the edge of the world. When someone jumps off it and shouts out what they want to be, they turn into it. So these three guys get a helicopter and fly to the cliff. The white yoshi jumps off and shouts "I want to be a vulture!" Poof! He turns into a vulture and flies away. The black yoshi jumps off and yells "I want to be an eagle!" Poof! He turns into an eagle and soars away. The green yoshi slips, falls out of the helicopter and screams "Oh shit!" Poof! He turns into a pile of shit and falls to the ground.

(Waluigi and Toad laugh. Even Luigi, who was trying to sleep, couldn't help but chuckle a bit. Peach, Daisy, Yoshi and Kirby looked rather displeased however.)

Yoshi: It just had to be a green yoshi, didn't it?

Peach: That's disgusting, Wario!

Waluigi: But that's what makes it so funny!

Kirby: Can we please have jokes and stories that aren't gross?

Wario: Okay okay. Why are pirates so mean?

Yoshi: Um...what?

Wario: They just aargh.

Waluigi: What's a pirates' favorite kind of movie?

Yoshi: Uh...

Waluigi: Rated aargh movies.

Wario: What do pirates like to put on their steak?

Yoshi: Don't know.

Wario: Baargh-baargh-que sauce.

Waluigi: What do you call a pirated version of a movie about automobiles?

Yoshi: I really don't care...

Waluigi: Caarghs.

Peach: What do you get when you put Mario under a Thwomp?

Daisy: Peach! No! That joke's so old!

Peach: A plumber pancake! Heeheehee!

Toad: What the hell, Peach? What'd you do that for?

Peach: Well, those guys were telling jokes too.

Toad: Yeah. But their jokes were good. I mean, everyone likes pirates. Your joke, however, was an uninspired piece of shit.

Peach: Let's see you throw together a better one if you're so smart.

Toad: Nah. I'm good. Dumb bimbos like you would never be able to understand my sense of humor.

Peach: That's because your idea of humor is just a string of profanities.

Toad: Now wait just one damn minute, bitch!

(Peach and Toad start what looks like a catfight. Luigi pokes his head out from under a pillow.)

Luigi: Good Lord. Turn on the TV and settle down, you idiots...

(Peach and Toad continue to bicker and take little notice of anything else.)

Yoshi: Seriously. Quit it. This isn't funny.

(The fight continues...)

Bowser: SHUT THE HELL UP!

(Bowser, who had returned from getting D.K. the book, smashes Peach's face with a punch and pins Toad to the ground with one foot.)

Toad: Gah! Okay okay! I'll stop!

Peach: He started it.

Bowser: I don't care who started it! Just knock it off!

Daisy: Hey. Check it out. Pokémon is on...

Yoshi: Hoo boy. Ash is such a loser.

Waluigi: No kidding. Bye-bye Charizard!

Toad: Pikachu is no better. Isn't that fucking thing at level 100 yet?

(Everyone decided to stop picking on each other and pick on Pokémon instead. While they were watching TV, none of them noticed that it is raining harder now than it was earlier...)