A/N: dad turned on some movie. Just thought this would be absolutely hysterical.

Disclaimer: main point of this was used in a John Wayne movie. Dunno which one, but it was!

"Ben, Kevin just slandered my honor!" she stormed into the garage, her boyfriend hot on her tail. Of course, Gwen was furious, her face red with anger.

Ben's face twisted in confusion. "And slander means…?"

Gwen should've known better than to use a big word with Ben and Kevin present. The chances of them understanding or knowing it were slim to none. "It means disgrace in more basic terms."

"Kevin disgraced your honor?" asked Ben, raising an eyebrow in the direction of Kevin.

And the dark teen just leaned against his car, arms folded across his chest so that the muscles bulged out from beneath the threads of his shirt. "Yes, apparently I slandered her honor."

"Slandered it!" Gwen repeated, mad and just enforcing it.

"Uh-huh," muttered Ben, just sipping on his smoothie. "And you want me to…?"

"Kick his butt or something!"

"…no thanks?" offered Ben. He didn't want to really kick Kevin's butt. Yes, it was tempting, but then he wouldn't have a ride if his car broke down. Or if his tires were slashed…

"Ben!" Gwen's voice had taken a whining tone.

"I really don't want to kick Kevin's butt…" Ben looked at his cousin questioningly. "Really, what did he do?"

"SLANDERED MY HONOR! HAVE YOU NOT BEEN LISTENING?!"

"I have, but I just don't understand why you want me to kick Kevin's butt."

"SLANDERED MY HONOR!"

"Still not understanding, Gwen."

Then it was time for Kevin to cut back in. "Ben, can I just spank her or something?"

Gwen's emerald eyes grew at least twice their size as horror struck her face. "Oh God, Kevin please tell me this is some kind of sick joke. Please tell me you're kidding!"

"Um… no." His obsidian gaze was dead serious as it locked onto hers.

"Ben, don't you dare let him-" She realized her cousin was already looking at Kevin with a bit of a smile playing across his face as his lips curled around the straw of the smoothie so that he didn't have to reply. "Ben, if you even think about it, I'll… I'll kick your butt!"

Ben stayed silent for a few moments. "I highly doubt that."

Kevin suddenly smiled his natural devilish smile and shifted his weight from the car so that he was standing upright, stance confident. "So I'm not getting a fight?"

"I really don't want to fight him," Gwen admitted, trying to hide behind her cousin. Ben wouldn't move to protect the redhead. He just stood there while she tried to move one of his arms to guard her face with it. That really didn't work the way she had hoped it would. "Please don't let him, Ben. Don't make me beg. Please don't make me beg."

And the brunette boy just shrugged. "You came in here yelling and disturbed my peace so I'm just gonna keep standing here. You're on your own."

Her green eyes widened. "Oh. My. God." Doomed wasn't even the right word. She didn't want to be doomed. She didn't want Kevin to- Gwen ran for the garage door, only to find her path blocked by a huge wall of cement.

She turned back around to find up to Kevin's biceps covered in thick layer of cement armor and his hands plastered to the floor. "Don't even try to get away that easily, Gwendolyn."

Ben could only think of how funny this would be to watch.

"Kevin, please don't. Please please please don't!" She backed herself up to the wall as he came closer, head cocked to one side as he thought through a plan to grab her. It would be fun. Giving Gwen a taste of punishment… He loved even planning to hold her. …even if that planning and holding was for the sake of hitting her… Oh well. A smirk worked its way across his lips.

Silence followed. Gwen wished she would've gotten it over with.

Then she saw something fly towards Kevin and he snatched it out of the air like it was nothing. A shovel.

"Please?" Gwen whimpered.

Kevin still didn't stop.

Ben loved what happened afterwards…

A/N: okay I totally loved this and it's not really a car argument, but the car was mentioned… close enough, right????

~Sky