Reiki sat comfortably on her cushioned seat, mind drifting to the magical wonders of sweets while she waited for her last course. The last ten or so courses have been delicious, savory, and outright delectable. To say she had high expectations for the last course was an understatement.
She closed her eyes, humming in delight as the soft sunlight shone over her. Her fingers absentmindedly drummed along the edge, foot tapping impatiently. Her smile stiffened, her fingers and foot ceasing their movement, as she turned her head to face Kyoko, who had yet to move from her spot, positioned at Reiki's side, "Shouldn't you, erm...check by now?" she asked exasperatedly.
Kyoko merely shook her head, "They said it would take at least an hour. They made sure to stress that."
Reiki grumbled under her breath, chewing on her bottom lip, "What did I order anyway..." she sighed quietly.
"I heard that. You should have checked first."
Reiki wagged a finger, "Sweets are best served as a surprise. The adrenaline and anticipation are part of the experience-"
Ding. A loud, chiming bell sound echoed.
Kyoko smirked, "45 minutes. The old geezers, now they're going to be smug about it all week." She held a new tray in her hand as she walked painfully slow to the kitchen counter, relishing the infuriated grumblings from a certain crossdresser.
Kyoko poked her head into the small window that lead into the kitchen, "You d-done...?" she stuttered, eyes popping out at the finished dessert. "Are you serious." It was more of a statement than a question, but shocked all the same.
In the middle of the table, in all it's glory, was a cake. A cake of a ten feet naked woman and man, in a very intricate position. Kyoko shook her head, "You are not giving that a young lad- er, lad." she stammered.
The sous chefs ignored her, in favor of crying happy tears, "Look, Konada-san. Our most beloved art."
Kyoko shook her head desperately, she knew the chefs of this place were mental, but not bat-shit insane! Her protests fell upon empty ears, to her growing irritation.
Kyoko discreetly sneaked a peek at the young girl behind her, cringing at the overjoyed childish, drooling expression. "Such a child... I can't let...this ruin her innocence." she declared to herself, rolling up her sleeves and storming into the kitchen.
A few of the chefs greeted her, the ones that still had their common sense and weren't crowding around the 'magnificent piece of edible art'. "Are you going to cook, Kyoko-chan? It's always a pleasure."
Kyoko hissed under her breath, "Shut it. I'm doing this to save my sanity."
Reiki pouted as she watched Kyoko walk into the kitchen, after have rolled up her sleeves. "What's taking so long..." she sighed.
"One and a half cup of flour, two egg whites, three cups of sugar," Kyoko listed from heart, preparing the ingredients with both fluidity and expertism. "Mix the dry ingredients together," she hummed, mixing the ingredients throughly in a large bowl.
Reiki groaned loudly, to the amusement of some of the other patrons. Her ears perked up at the sound of a cart rolling towards her. "Mister, your dessert is ready!" announced a proud, masculine voice.
Reiki turned her head expectantly, before her entire body froze. Her smile stiff on her face, eye twitching and her lips parted. "What..." she muttered, her eyes narrowing, "What the hell is this."
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, the chefs were crowding around the oven, drool slipping every now and then. Murmurs of appreciation and compliments for the chef were heard all around. Kyoko wiped some sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand. Her back ached in protest from having to move so fast again after not moving much these past few years, "Damn. Forgot how much of a pain baking was."
The sous chefs shivered in fear at the dark aura that radiated from the boy with short, blonde hair and blue eyes, "I asked, what the hell is this."
After a few more minutes of stuttering and nonsense, one chef finally found his voice again, "I-It's our masterpiece-" They all shrieked silently as a fork went straight through the woman's head, knocking it off in the process. It slumped to the floor into a battery, somewhat delicious looking mess.
Reiki's eyes were narrowed, her lips pulled into a sinister frown, "I meant, what the hell," she growled, walking towards the gigantic cake, to the chef's increasing nervousness for both their creation and themselves. Reiki pointed, "Is with this godforsaken pose? This is impossible. Their spines would break from internal pressure, their necks would have snapped by now and no human's neck can be this fucking long-!" she ranted.
Kyoko smiled proudly as she finished the last dallop of whip cream on the iced cake. "Gorgeous." she whispered, before shaking her head to dispel the thought stubbornly. Skillfully slipping the delicate dessert onto her metal plate, she head out the kitchen door.
"-and their legs. Don't even get me started on their illogical legs-!
"Mister, your real dessert is ready." Kyoko sighed, dusting some of the flour off her uniform. The chefs and Reiki turned their heads at the same time, mouths gaping open. The vanilla iced cake was topped with chocolate shavings, delicately placed dallops of whip cream, and the entire cake seemed to be sparkling.
"S-So beautiful..." they chorused. Kyoko hid a faint blush under her bangs, her shoulder length brown hair swaying.
"It's nothing..." she whispered.
Kyoko bit in a gasp of surprise as grabby hands yanked the cake off her tray without her realizing, "Reiki, slow down-!"
Her protest fell short however, as the overgrown toddler sunk her teeth into the cake blissfully. "Swo gwood." came the appreciative reply, chomping madly, crumbs falling all over her, icing smeared in every direction.
"No- stop that- slow down!" Kyoko all but groaned, frustration easily shown in her voice. But within the frustration, was an underlying happy tone that neither the chefs nor Reiki missed.
Kyoko growled quietly, "I need some air. Air that's not contaminated with idiots." she muttered to herself, walking briskly towards the entrance.
Reiki smirked into the icing, "Lady is such a tsundere..."
The chefs laughed quietly to themselves, shaking their heads, "That Kyoko, a tsundere? It suits her, to be honest. She's never true to herself."
Kyoko sat by the entrance, eyes closed and breathing steady. She had an awful feeling that she was being talked about, but seeing how popular she was to piss off, she wasn't nearly surprised.
Kyoko lost in her thoughts about how everyone's life mission was to piss her off, nearly didn't hear the steady and quiet footsteps that were getting closer. She tilted her head upwards, her mid-length hair swaying from the movement, "Can I help you?" she asked calmly. Her eyes widened.
"-and then Kyoko shoved yeast into her diaper and she got a yeast infection! It was hilarious!" one of the chefs gossiped, while Reiki giggled and continued to slobber all over her dessert.
"Gah!" The guests instantly stirred at the sudden scream, turning their heads wildly to look for the source. Reiki instantly got onto her feet, the chefs behind her following suit. Reiki's eyes widened, "Woah. It's a dude."
Reiki's eyes lowered to the limp body on the ground, yet her eyes stayed emotionless, "Woah. It's a dead lady."
The chefs screamed in horror, as they pointed chubby fingers, "Ryoko! Bastard, did you do this to her?!" they hollered, rage settling into their blazing souls.
Reiki pouted, a finger pressed against her lips, "That's not good, Ryoko was so good at baking. She can't bake if she's dead..." she muttered.
"That's not the issue here!" the chefs protested loudly.
Reiki silently observed the man, "Hey," she called out, eyes narrowed as she stared him down critically, "Are you...really a man?" she asked sternly.
To Reiki's slight amusement, the man smirked, crimson red eyes narrowed, "Are you going to lecture me on proper etiquette to ladies as well?" he mused.
To the man's minor shock, Reiki shook her head bluntly, "Nah, you just look like a woman, with your long hair and eyelashes." she admitted seriously, not even a smidgen of mockery in her voice. Reiki was dead serious.
The man's eye twitched, his lips pulled into a scowl, "Is this your idea of insulting me?" he hissed, clearly very insulted by Reiki's unintentional insults.
Reiki shook her head, a playful smile on her lips, "No way, you look really pretty-"
"Don't fuck with me!" he screamed, unsheathing his katana from his hip. Reiki whistled lowly, impressed. He charged towards Reiki, who stood perfectly still with an unreadable expression on her face.
"For both the sake of my nakama and myself, I say this for the both of us, go to Hell bastard!" he screamed, losing all his previous composure and self-resistance. He swung his katana down in midair, the momentum of gravity adding more power to his strike.
Reiki opened one eye, "I can't go to Hell just yet." Effortlessly raising her arm, Reiki stopped the blade stiff between her two fingers.
The man's eyes widened. No...way... He stopped my blade with two measly fingers?! What the hell is he?! He's not normal!
Reiki grinned, "You hurt my friend. I'm afraid just a lecture isn't going to cut it." With a elegant twist of her waist, Reiki pummeled her leg into the red haired man's midsection, making him tumble into the wall. The wall left a deep imprint, from the sheer power of the kick. Reiki pouted, "Aw geez, you're paying for that. I have no insurance."
The man growled, venom burning in his eyes, "As hell I'm paying!" he screamed, getting back onto his feet, charging forward with clear killing intent. Swinging expertly, Reiki found herself dazed as she dodged the blade. Had her sensei not been a swordsman, therefore making her used to swords, Reiki silently admitted in the back of her mind she would be pitifully dead.
"Stop," he swung at her neck, as she leaned backwards, "Dodging!" he hissed, thrusting forward at her unguarded chest. Reiki maneuvered her body in midair, the shiny blade shredding a thin line of her shirt underneath her.
Reiki flipped back onto her feet, just as her shirt started slipping off her shoulders. Her eyes widened, "Ah shit-" she swore.
"You're too young to flash, even for an attractive guy like him." Ryoko whispered into Reiki's ear, magically closing the rip on Reiki's shirt with a glide of her finger, as she stood behind her.
Reiki was stunned, "Wow. Womanly instinct is incredible." she replied breathlessly, as her secret was still safe.
The man hissed, "You," he narrowed his eyes at Ryoko, "You're not a normal human being." he muttered.
Before Ryoko or the man could say anything, Reiki blurted out, "That's because Ryoko has womanly instinct! Like screw you, she's the queen of women." she proudly declared.
Ryoko looked confused, "Queen of women? What now...?"
Reiki shot her a look, "Shh, just go with it. See his 'what the fucking hell' face? He's clearly impressed by your superiority." she whispered back.
Ryoko laughed nervously, "I think he's just confused about whether you're mentally sane. I for one doubt it."
"I..." the man muttered under his breath, until the two ladies; one proper and one crossdresser, looked his way, "Hate women!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, making the chandelier on the ceiling rattle.
Reiki blinked a few times, "Dude," she walked over and coiled her arm around his waist, to his mild confusion, "You can't just say you hate women with the queen of women standing right there. Look she's judging you." Reiki leaned into his ear, "Judging you." she whispered gravely.
The man's eye twitched violently as his hand gripped around his katana's hilt, "I will...fucking...eradicate you..." he hissed.
Reiki shrugged, "Meh. People have said worse."
As the man and our beloved crossdresser continued their death brawl, Ryoko laid a gentle hand on her throbbing forehead, which had a foot-shaped bruise on it. One of the chefs gently placed their hand on her shoulder, "Are you alright, Ryoko? Hell, if we were younger, we would have kicked that bastard's ass to-"
"Don't worry about it," she replied coolly, as she observed the ongoing battle, "Reiki obviously has things under control. Sh- he could have ended this by now, but he's just prolonging the inevitable. That man is going to die."
The man growled as Reiki shoved her foot harder against his neck, with his back stuck firmly to the wall. His katana was tossed aside, out of reach of easy retrieval, after Reiki skillfully kicked it out of his grasp. He chuckled. This bastard knew he was going to win from the beginning.
Reiki smiled grimly, such a smile not suited to her usual innocent and carefree mood, "Hm, any last words?" she mocked, "I could snap your neck right now with ease, oh so easily..."
To Reiki's impressment, the man still had the very guts to smirk arrogantly, "What's with your way of talking? Are you gay-?"
Reiki added more pressure through narrowed eyelids, "Are you a homophobic?" she asked seriously, fists clenching as memories clawed at the back of her head.
The man stared at her seriously, ignoring the almost pleading shine in Reiki's eyes, "...No. No, I'm not." he answered honestly.
Reiki released a breath of relief she didn't know she was holding in, "Okay..." she answered, before tilting her head, "Do you want to die?" she asked innocently.
The man furrowed his eyebrows, "Die? Of course I don't. I have to manage my crew." he answered, before his eyes closed with realization, "Or is that your cowardly way of saying you wish to kill me? I do not care, do as you will with me."
Reiki rolled her eyes, "Jeez, difficult to the end. How about this?" she suggested, a sly smirk curling onto her lips, "Join me as my first mate."
Ryoko's mouth parted, "W-What...? You want him as your first mate?"
Reiki laughed, "What's wrong, Ryoko-chan? Did you want to be my first-mate?"
The brunette shivered as if the sheer thought repulsed her, "Don't say such stupid things. I could never be a pirate, much less be a part of your pirate crew."
"She sums up my answer rather well." the man answered, "Besides the part of being a pirate."
Reiki pouted again, "But you'll die if you don't listen to me." she frowned.
"I'd rather die than see my pride sink and my men suffer without me."
Reiki chortled, "Pu-lease, with your depressing attitude, I think your men would do good without you-"
"Don't you dare say such a thing about our Captain."
Reiki looked down to her ankle, her foot still pressed against the red head's neck. There was an arrow, that went straight through her leg. Once again, her expression turned unreadable until she laughed loudly, to the surprise of all the occupants of the room.
"An arrow," she declared in amusement, pulling it out and causing blood to spurt in out all over the redhead's face, to his disgust, "In this era? So last century." She let it clatter to the ground, almost daring for the man to utilize it to his escape.
"Captain Kenshin! We have come to save you!" the rugged men declared proudly, as the guests huddled back to safety.
Kenshin scowled, "I could have handled this perfectly fine myself-"
"Please, Captain," a voice sarcastically muttered. Reiki, Ryoko and Kenshin turned their heads to face the owner of the voice. Short, light blue hair and amber eyes, he resembled the ocean at sunset, "You look like you're in a compromising position."
Kenshin growled, "Shut it, Raye. He has experience fighting against blades, had it been anyone else-"
Kenshin shut up once a dagger dug into the wall an inch from his face, "But it wasn't anyone else, now was it, Captain?"
Kenshin bit his lip so hard, Reiki wondered if he was a vampire and was trying to drink his own blood, "No, it wasn't." he hissed.
"Wait a second, aren't you Captain? You let your own crewmates treat you like dirt? So un-admirable." Reiki huffed, shaking her head as if she was any better.
Kenshin bared his teeth at her, "Shut it, bastard."
Raye shook his head, sighing loudly, "You still have a lot to learn. But for now, I'll lend you my strength," a smirk curled upon his lips as his eyes darkened, "Men. Kill them."