"Just watch my wildest dreams come true

Not one of them, involving you."

-Paramore

My time with Jacob was easy. Jacob was my best friend; he was my sun, shining in the sky using its beams of light to warm your skin. Being with him was like breathing air, it was a 'no-brainer'.

So what do you do when your best friend hates your boyfriend? I have no clue! What do you do when you love both these men, on different levels, and you know that all you've done is lie?

I have hid myself for a very long time; for years! You would think lying would get easier, wouldn't you?

Wrong.

So. Wrong.

In fact, I think it's starting to hurt even more.

Edward knows me better than anyone on this earth, but yet he doesn't know me at all.

See the predicament I've got myself in?

It's great! (Insert sarcasm here.)

You see I am not human, well that's a lie I am, but only half.

My father was a vampire, while my mother was human. So I'm kind of like a hybrid. I'm certainly one of a kind.

My mom died when she was giving birth to me my father leaving me with no other then Charlie and Renee Swan, close friends of my father. Close human friends of my daddy dearest.

And that's a big no- no in the vampire world.

Charlie is like a dad to me and Renee a mom. So when they got a divorce and Renee left him she took me too. Raising me in Phoenix, Arizona where the heat is so packing you can fry eggs on the street.

It wasn't until I was older when they revealed who I truly was.

After that things weren't the same.

But I pretended they were. I pretended that I was a normal teenage girl with raging hormones and an awkward family.

You can only pretend for so long.

When I moved to Forks to live with Charlie I didn't want to have to pretend.

But I did even when I met, and fell in love with Edward, a vampire.

I even pretended when I befriended, Jacob, a vampire hating wolf.

And when Edward left I stopped. I hunted, I drank animal after animal leaving behind their drained carcasses.

I was angry, so angry that I didn't care anymore.

I did not care about what happened to me.

I didn't care if anyone saw me.

I was just a left behind, and broken Bella.

Jacob picked up all those pieces and glued me back together. I had a friend, someone that cared, and for the time being, wouldn't leave me.

But that also meant I had to pretend again. I lied to him and myself. On my rampage of draining the blood from animals I found that once you start drinking you can't just stop.

I had a drinking problem!

When I did have to leave to feed they were small lies like wanting to sleep in, or being sick.

And when Alice came back after my little cliff diving accident I was happy I had missed her so much! When we had to go to Italy to save Edward, well I didn't know how I felt about that.

I will always love Edward but he left me the six months he was gone he didn't call, text, or try to accept or try to contact me in any way he took his family with him, who didn't even want to leave in the first place! Who does that, Edward Cullen that's who?

Edward Cullen the man who I was running towards right now.

I pushed through red cloak after red cloak, the toll of the clock being my timer.

I was running out of time

And I couldn't run fast enough.