The Present. 74th Hunger Games: day 11

I'd been ready to run but Thresh would've caught me, if he hadn't stumbled in a drift of leaves. Halfway up a tree, he snatched at my feet. I kicked down at his head, and scrambled up to a broad, high branch, out of his reach.

"Sorry! You okay there?" I called down.

"Reckon I'll live." Thresh glared up at me, rubbing his forehead. "But we both die, protecting some crippled Twelve! Chaff and Seeder said it. We let anything slow us, we lose!"

"Well, win or lose, I'm going to help anyone I can who needs it, just like what was right back home. You say God tells us to help each other. Well, He don't just live in Eleven–!"

"Quiet there!"

I nearly choked on my tongue. Steps rustled in the silence, not so distant. Nocking an arrow to Katniss's bow, Thresh sent a steadying look my way that made me feel rather warm. Then he stole off through some thickets, not too quietly.

I hid there nearly an hour. There was one distant thunk, as an arrow split wood. But no cannon, no fighting. if Clove and Cato were ever near, Thresh must've drawn them away. But I was still pretty scared, until the Mockingjays sounded out my quitting-time tune. They'd picking up Thresh's 'okay' signal, from the cornfield's edge. Through all the air above, the rich notes unrolled like a banner–Thresh was safe.

I sang out the same tune, and the Mockingjays all sang out once again, like a crowd of friends wanting to lift my heart to the sky. I couldn't ever belt out a joyful song in that forest Arena, not when I had to hide or die every day. But I felt so happy to be friends with Thresh again, holding my song inside me almost hurt. So I took out the most precious thing I had and fixed it to my jacket. For Katniss' sake, for all my friends' sake, I would fight my own way, for all of us. With her Mockingjay pin to say why I still lived and who I fought for.

"Hey there," I whispered to a little Mockingjay, pecking a branch above me, "Could you fly away to District 11 for me? Tell Thresh's family how he is, what he's doing for me. Tell my folks I love them. And tell them joy is so strong, even the Games can't kill it easy." My new friend tilted his head to listen. Then he flitted off, as a sponsor package dropped between the branches.

–0–

As I slipped back through the tree canopy to where Peeta was at, I felt real edgy, like someone was watching close by. I dropped a bundle behind me, not looking too deliberate or too careless. There was some cold grousling and berries in there, as well as some important things I won't say about just now. But I kept heading on to the river. I sneaked down to the cave where I'd dragged Peeta before, and unhid the opening carefully.

"Heya. I'm home." I gave Peeta a big smile. From the sleeping bag in back, the blonde boy looked up with dark-rimmed eyes. He saw Katniss's pin on my chest, but didn't say anything.

"Rue. You were gone too long. I'm really glad you're safe." But he didn't sound like he could be glad about anything.

"I had to hide on the way back. I gave Thresh the weapons, and I think he's with us now." Peeta nodded, not asking where Thresh was. Since he'd seen his sweetheart gone up in the sky, the poor boy hadn't shown he cared much about anything. Not even the leg wound, that was sapping his body's life, as sure as his grief.

I changed his dressings, smiling and telling him he had to fight, like I think Katniss would've done. I fed him the broth from the Sponsor package, and tried to talk about the interviews with our families, or his friends back home, but he didn't say much. Then I went out and came back with some edible plants; we'd both ate enough to stay alive, but not by much. As I heated up a nettle and mugwort stew with rocks from the sunny riverbank, I sang quietly;

All good things around us,

Are sent from heaven above,

And thank the Lord, Oh, thank the Lord,

For all his love…

"You've got a beautiful voice, Rue. What's that song about?" Peeta muttered thickly. I felt happy just to hear him.

"It's about God. He made all the good things in the world, and shows he cares for us that way, like a Father, whatever happens."

"That's how you can still be cheerful, right?"

"Because I got to be. It ain't easy, but God helps. Especially singing about Him."

"Oh….maybe that's why Katniss couldn't be happy. She always got angry first."

"No! Katniss wasn't unhappy! We were happy together, why was she sad…?"

As he propped himself up, Peeta's face was sour milk, "Sorry, Katniss wouldn't have talked about the past. I guess I've just had nothing else to think on for days, I shouldn't…"

"Tell me!"

"Her father died in a mine explosion when she was eleven. Her mother didn't cope very well, so Katniss supported herself and her sister for five years. She was alone, so she had to be strong as oak, and rely on herself. She never relied on anyone else. She was a brave, beautiful spirit. But she could barely let her heart open up to anybody, before…Rue, if Katniss was happy with you, before the end, then thank you–"

I threw myself at Peeta. I couldn't do anything some while but cry in his arms like a baby.

"Oh, Katniss! Oh Peeta, you really loved her, didn't you?"

"Since I was five. " his tears were silent, trailing down his dirty face. "I'd have given all my limbs to save her."

"I'm so sorry...when'd you know you loved her? Think how she was, just then."

"First day of school. She was a little girl with two braids. She sang the Willow Song in class, the Mockingjays stopped to listen, I was gone. She just had the voice of a pure soul, as if nothing in the whole world could break her or stop her singing."

"I think she was always singing, but it was silent. A song of strength and love...her love was like fire, and it spread me like a true burning life. Oh, we couldn't ever have helped loving her."

"But I never did anything that mattered, all those years. I never made her happy! I could never tell her–!"

"You told the whole nation you loved her!"

"But she didn't believe me!" Peeta fell back, helpless regret twisting his face, "She thought I was looking for Sponsors."

I hoped everyone in the Capitol was dying from shame, as I searched for an answer.

"Peeta…my Mama always said how girls shouldn't fall in love so quick. They want to let their boy come after them, and prove he's really in love. And you proved it, you got this wound saving Katniss from the Careers! I should've told you already...before she went, she said your name."

(I'd left some things out, and never really believed my Mama on boys–I'd always dreamed of being swept away with passion. But I had to say something to comfort him).

Peeta turned away. Then he squeezed my hand, stared back right in my eyes.

"When I was reaped, I decided something, Rue. I'd do something to show them who I was, and that they can't control me. Even if they kill me. I'll help you win the Hunger Games, Rue, for Katniss."

"For Katniss."

Peeta finally showed his old smile, as fire seemed to roar in my chest. I was fighting for Katniss, in her place. I was fighting beside the boy who'd loved her. His pale face was so perfectly-shaped, and his eyes were so kind. So blue like cooling waters. I was so close I nearly kissed him, but a deep cough made me spring back. Thresh was crouched in the cave mouth, looking like a big bear in the dusk.

"Thresh–!" Then I saw the knife in his hand, the big one that curved the wrong way. Peeta tried dragging himself in front of me, as Thresh edged towards us.

"Don't worry, Rue. Here to keep you safe. Heard Twelve say he would too–but tell me why I should believe you." He'd turned his gaze on Peeta, "She ain't your sweetheart. Ain't even your district partner."

"She's twelve. I just want to protect her. And I want to prove to them they don't control me, I'm not a piece in their games. That's why I swore I'd protect Katniss, I'd do anything–"

"And what did you do?"

Peeta bowed his head. "I won't lie. I joined the Career pack to lead them away from her. I even helped them kill the girl from eight. All for Katniss...but I know it still wasn't right, and you can see what I got for it." A stab from his leg made Peeta hiss. I held him, touching his cheek to look straight in his eyes.

"At least you tried, Peeta. You did something." I shot a glance as Thresh. His face was sealed shut, but his eyes were scary.

"You should go out a minute, Rue." His voice held anger now, I couldn't stop looking at the knife.

"Thresh, no!"

"It's okay," Peeta shut his eyes, "I understand. Just end it."