Wade barged through the hospital doors, he anxiously rushed through the floor asking the nurses where he could find his fiancée. The nurses directed him toward the emergency ward, he found Randy who was sitting in one the corners, sipping a cup of coffee and Wade felt instantly angry. "How is it that you get here, before me? She's my fiancée not yours!"

"I know you're feeling angry, but I was with Natalya... she told me about Lea and the baby" explained Randy, "I'm really sorry."

Wade huffed, "Well where is she?"

Randy pointed down the hall to the lone room in their opposite direction. Wade gave Randy another displeased glance before he headed in the other direction. He peeped through the window of the door and saw that I was there. He barged through the door and then pitied seeing me in my condition. I was absolutely distraught as I saw him come inside.

"What happened Lea?" he asked as he stood by my side.

I slowly sat up to talk to him, "I was at home and then I was feeling this strong pain from my stomach and then I was bleeding..." I wept my eyes growing wide with fear, "I heard them say that they're going to take away our baby!"

Wade noticed how hysterical I had become and tried to calm me down, "They're not taking anyone anywhere, you'll be okay and so will our baby."

"No Wade! I heard Natalya talk to some doctors, they're going to do something to him!" I screamed, "All I wanted to do was be a good mother and now this..."

Wade grabbed on to my hand, "You are a good mother."

I let go off his hand and shook my head, I placed my hands gently on to my stomach. "I love him so much; I want to give him all the motherly love I could possibly give him that I didn't get from my mum. I just hope they don't take him from me."

He shook his head, "Lea... I don't understand, why would they take him away from you?"

I stared at him blankly and this fury grew inside me, "I heard them Wade! They said they were taking him, why don't you believe me!" My hands still firmly placed on my stomach.

Wade grew worried as he stared at me.

Natalya stepped into the room, "Ah Wade you're here, could I speak to you for a moment outside?" she asked.

Wade flicked his eyes at me then back at Natalya, "Sure."

I grabbed onto Wade's hand and pulled him toward me, "Please make sure our baby will be okay" I whispered in his ear.

He kissed the top of my head and then left me. He followed Natalya out to the hallway, he could still see Randy in the corner.

Natalya stood in front of Wade as she noticed Wade's fury toward Randy. "Wade?"

His green eyes then looked down at her, "What's happened Nat?"

Her eyes grew glossy and her voice grew weary, "Well... Lea complained of pains inside and there was a lot of excessive bleeding. When the ambulance brought her here and we had her and the baby checked we found something very unfortunate."

"What was it?" he asked alarmed.

She looked down at the floor and sighed before speaking, "Your son was stillborn."

"Stillborn?" he asked weakly. He felt his body become numb as she mentioned the last word.

"Yes... unfortunately due to some complications the baby has died inside her uterus" she said.

Wade lowered his head after hearing the devastating news; he placed his hand on his forehead. "So... my son is dead? There was nothing you could do?"

"I'm sorry Wade" she said placing her hand on his shoulder, "He was dead before I got to see her, I am terribly sorry."

He was shattered. He went to sit down on one of the chairs that were near them; he lowered his head and buried his face with his hands. Natalya sat next to him, placing her hand on his back, rubbing him gently.

"Lea doesn't know that the baby is dead?"

Natalya shook her head, "No she doesn't... would you like me to tell her?"

Wade placed his hands in his lap, "No... I'll tell her."

"I'm very sorry Wade; I know how much you both loved this baby. But these things happen, you guys can keep trying" she said.

He nodded, "I just know this is going to break her."

"This will be hard for both of you, but you guys are a strong pair and I know you will pull through it" she said, "She'll have to go through a delivery to take the baby out, I'll come back later to get her ready."

Wade was silent as he stared out in front of him. He had no idea how a couple of moments could change his whole life. "I'll go tell her."

...

All I could think about was if my baby boy was going to be alright, I held onto my stomach tightly hoping to feel something back. I heard the door open and it was Wade, I wiped underneath my eyes with my hands and sat up bravely. Wade walked over to me wearily, something that I had never seen before in him. He looked so weak and scared in the face that I was beginning to feel fearful. As he sat by side he grabbed on to my hand tightly and kissed it as he took it in both his hands.

"What is it Wade?" I asked, searching his face "Is our baby okay?"

I watched as his green eyes turned wet and then his face turned red. Tears then began gushing down his face as he looked at me, "Our son is dead, Lea. He was stillborn."

I pulled my hand away from his grip and touched my stomach, "That's not possible, I can still feel him... he's alive."

"He's not alive, he's no longer... he left before you made it to the hospital" said Wade weakly, "He's gone."

I refused to believe him as I started to weep, "No! I can still feel him... I can still feel him..."

Wade sat up on the side of my bed and huddled me into his chest.

I began crying more loudly, I was screaming with grief. "How could they take him away from us, I hadn't even gotten to see him or name him!"

Wade gripped to me tighter.

"How could he leave me? All I wanted was to love him... I would have loved him so much, tried to give him everything to make him happy" I spoke into Wade's chest, "I couldn't even keep him in my stomach without hurting him."

"It's not your fault" said Wade.

"It is my fault, I killed our son... I should be the one dead not him!" I screamed.

"It's not your fault okay!" yelled Wade who was shaking my shoulders to put some sense into me. But it was no use I felt completely broken. He pulled me back into his embrace and wrapped his arms around us.

"Our little bundle of joy and happiness... just gone" I whispered wiping the tears from my face.

Wade's embrace was beginning to feel different to me, it normally felt loving and warm but as he held me I felt detached. "Can I be by myself, please?" I asked him.

"Um... okay" he said hesitantly as he moved his arms away from me, "I'll be right outside if you need me."

I simply nodded and turned away from him as I covered myself with the hospital bed sheets. Tears fell across my face as I laid my head on the pillow and closed my eyes.

He looked on at me worried. "Natalya should be coming soon to get you ready for the delivery" he said sadly, "...They still have to deliver him."

I closed my eyes tighter, trying to block him out. I hoped that this was all a bad dream. I heard the door close and flung my eyes open and glimpsed at the white walls around me, I sat up and found myself still in my hospital bed. I felt shattered as I sunk into the head board, I flipped over the sheets and pulled up the hospital dress that I had on to stare at my stomach from the outside it looked normal as it had yesterday. I rubbed it hoping to feel something there, but the realisation set in that there was nothing but my small baby boy with no heartbeat. "My poor baby boy" I howled, the tears becoming more permanent.

...

Hours had passed and I was lying asleep after my surgery. People had heard the news and crowded my room. A weary Wade sat by side holding my hand tightly to his cheek, kissing it every now and then hoping I would open my eyes.

Dad sat on my other side; he was wearing sunglasses in doors. It was something he always did when he was upset to hide his feelings. "Daddy loves you alright, my tough girl" he said moving his glasses up to wipe a tear.

Stephanie grasped her hand onto his shoulder, smiling at him kindly.

Phil and Adele stood close together, both held hurt faces as they looked on at me. Adele whimpered quietly trying to be positive as Phil held her.

John walked into the room with Alex close behind him. He looked at Wade and respectfully nodded, which Wade reciprocated. The couple stood near Stephanie and Dad, all of them all hoped and prayed for us.

Randy was still outside where he saw a little girl who he felt had grown close to his heart. "Hi Adele."

The little girl was still holding on to the teddy bear her father had given her earlier in the day, "Hello Randy, do you know if my Mum is going to be okay? No one will tell me what happen."

Randy was beginning to regret talking to her. How could he tell her that the baby brother that she was awaiting was no longer? "Um... well, she was sick but now she's better."

"What about the baby?" she asked innocently, "Will the baby be okay?"

Natalya inserted herself into the conversation, she sat next to Adele and placed the small girl on her lap, "Well sweetheart, your Mum and Dad wanted to have this baby but for some reason the baby decided it didn't want them" she spoke.

The little girl fluttered her eyelashes, confused by the doctor's statement. "So he's not coming?"

"I'm afraid not" she said, "But your parents are a little upset by this so you have to promise me that you'll be a good girl and make them feel happy, especially your Mum."

"Can you promise us that Adele?" said Randy.

She nodded, "I promise."

Natalya kissed her cheek, "You're just an angel, aren't you."

Adele grinned, "Most of the time."

"I think you're an angel, all of the time" said Randy as he winked at the girl.

Her little cheeks grew pink as she looked at him.

"Adele!" cried Dad, "Come on, you'll stay with grandpa tonight."

"Bye Miss Doctor, Bye Randy" said Adele as she hopped off Natalya's lap.

"It's Nattie" she said, "And remember our promise."

"I will" she yelled as she ran over to Dad and Stephanie. They took her hands and headed to the elevator.

Randy laid back into the sofa, "You're just magic with kids."

Natalya blushed, "I love them but I see you seem to get the little ones to blush as hard as the older girls."

He smirked, "Like how you're blushing right now?"

Her cheeks turned brighter as she felt him stare at her.

"How is Lea?" asked Randy changing the subject.

"The delivery went fine, but she's still asleep" said Natalya, "Are you going to go see her or are you just going to sit here all day waiting for Wade to leave, because you know he's not leaving her side."

He shook his head, "I just don't want to make it worse; I feel like I'm giving my support from here."

Natalya sprouted up angrily, "Are you serious? She's risked her relationship and taken her own time to be with you when you were having issues, the least you could do as her friend is sit there with her."

Randy looked at her slightly feeling impressed with her reaction.

"If you're the best friend that you say you are then go see her" she urged, crossing her arms.

Randy smirked as he stood up, hovering over the blonde Canadian. "You're right... but you know you look beautiful, when you get all angry."

She stared at the floor as she tried casually to flip her layered locks; she was feeling smitten by him as she felt his blue eyes search her body. "Just go in there."

He gave her a wink before going into the room. Natalya felt her lips form into a grin before she left to get back to work.

...

I opened my eyes and had a glimpse of Wade who was sleeping on the seat next to me. He looked exhausted. I turned to the other side and Randy was sitting there gazing at me.

"How are you doing?"

"Not good" I whispered, my eyes beginning to water as I felt it all coming back, "I'm not a very good mother, I'm worse than my own. At least she kept me alive in her womb."

"What are you talking about; you are a great mother to Adele. She can't get enough of you, you've become an idol to her" said Randy, "You are nothing like your mother."

I shook my head as I faced the ceiling, "I let everyone down and I'm the only person who can be blamed."

"It happens, Lea" he said, "I've known you since you were four years old and being a mother is something that you are going to be, maybe it didn't happen now but it will happen for you because I know how much love you have for a child, you understand what it's like to not have a mother like no one else."

I was silent, consumed by my own devastating thoughts. I felt worthless and bitter about what had happened.

"Lea... I know you're hurting and obviously devastated, I know how much you wanted this but I know this is going to happen for you and Wade. He's a great father and you're a great mother, this child will be so lucky and fortunate to be surrounded with such loving parents. You have all these people outside, all worried for you, friends and family... you are not alone" he preached, "If you need anything I'm always here but just remember that you have someone who probably loves you more than I do, with you and he's never going to leave your side."

Randy glanced at Wade who was still sleeping. I turned to my side to gaze at him and then I turned to Randy, "Thank you for coming, but I'm just feeling drained... so I think I'm just going to sleep." I closed my eyes tightly and tried falling asleep.

He nodded, "Alright... Take care okay." He gave a kind smile and walked outside of the room.

Wade opened his eyes and saw that my back was turned to him as I lay asleep on the bed. He got up quietly and went outside.

He spotted Randy's back and paced toward him, "Randy..."

Randy spun around to see the Englishman approach him, "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"No that's okay, I actually heard what you said... and I'd like to thank you for the kind words" said Wade.

Randy smiled, "It's no problem, I know how hard this has been for the two of you. I just wanted her to know that she isn't alone and you're not either."

He nodded, "Well... I'd also wanted to apologize for earlier I didn't mean to be so heated at you..."

"It's okay, I understand if I was in your situation I would be like that too" said Randy, "No hard feelings."

"Well... thank you for coming to see her" said Wade.

"I hope you two do okay" said Randy.

"I hope so too" said Wade as he waved goodbye to him.

...

A week had gone by and the snow was beginning to fall. Everyone seemed to be excited for Christmas except me. I would stay in bed most day and sob all day while Wade was at work and then when he came home I would continue to lie in bed, not wanting to be around people. I didn't feel worthy of living this life, everything reminded me of that day. Whenever I saw a child especially a boy, I would cry instantly grieving over my loss. I didn't like to be around anything, Wade hadn't touched me in a while but as much as it hurt to say I beginning to prefer it, I made excuses anytime he came near me. I would cry myself every night to sleep and I knew he could hear me even if he pretended not to. I could feel myself falling deeper and deeper in this black hole that I had created but the sad thing was that I didn't want to come out.