"Mr. Mcgee, your wife has Leukemia."
"Abby…" Tim said softly as he suddenly felt like he was drowning. Everything had gone from so familiar to so unknown in a matter of three seconds. "It's going to be okay."
Abby pulled her hand out of his and slapped him across the face. "There's nothing okay about this." She yelled at him. "NOTHING!"
"Abby…" Tim said, tears falling down his face.
"You can't even understand how I feel right now." Abby said, furiously trying to wipe the tears from her eyes. "I could have died in childbirth… I could die anytime… I'm dying."
Tim shook his head before turning to Doctor Samson. "Who makes that kind of mistake?" He asked angrily.
"Mr. Mcgee you have to understand all of the symptoms were masked by her pregnancy." Doctor Samson tried to explain.
"My wife has cancer and all you can say is, sorry we missed it?" He asked angrily before storming out of the room.
"TIM!" Abby yelled after him to no avail.
"I'll go find him." Ducky said quickly before running after him.
"WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY!" Tim was yelling in a doctor's office.
"Timothy!" Ducky yelled at him, quickly noting the name plaque on the office reading Dr. Hogan. "Calm down!"
"Mr. Mcgee I am so sorry that I missed this…" Doctor Hogan apologized profusely.
"SORRY?" Tim yelled in disbelief. "Sorry could have possibly made up for her giving birth in her office this morning, but not this. It's Christmas… and it's been the worst day of my life." He said before collecting himself. "If she dies… I'm holding you personally responsible." He said softly before leaving his office.
"Timothy…" Ducky tried to console him.
"I don't want to hear it." Tim assured him. "I lost everything today."
"Timothy!" Ducky said sharply causing Tim to abruptly turn around. "She's not dead yet, don't treat her like she is."
Tim sighed as he hung his head before going back to Abby's room. He knocked gently at the doorframe. "Can I come in?"
Abby nodded as she tried to wipe her tears from her face. "Oh sweetie." Tim said softly as he pulled her into his arms.
"I can't believe this…" Abby muttered into his shoulder. "I can't… I can't do this…"
"Shhh." Tim said softly as he ran his fingers through her hair, trying to ignore the pressing thoughts of what the chemotherapy she would undoubtedly have to endure would do to her hair. "You're so strong Abs…"
"Strong doesn't fix everything Tim." Abby said as she collapsed back into her pillows. "I'm so tired…and so scared…"
Tim was trying to formulate a response when Ducky knocked at the door. "Timothy I'm sorry to interrupt but Jethro is on the phone wondering if there's news."
Tim motioned for him to bring him his phone. "Gibbs?"
"Is everything alright? Is there any news?" Gibbs asked hesitantly.
Tim sighed. "No Gibbs… nothing's alright. You should probably come to the hospital…"
"What's wrong?" Gibbs asked as soon as he rushed through the door and saw Abby lying in Tim's arms.
"Gibbs." Tim choked out, trying desperately to keep his emotions in check.
Abby turned over so her pale green eyes were in the view of Gibbs' bright blue ones. "I have leukemia Gibbs."
Gibbs pinched the bridge of his nose. "How bad?"
"Very." She replied softly.
"What can I do?" He asked her gently.
Abby choked up. "Hug me?" She requested softly, somehow nervous about what his response would be.
"Of course." He said softly as he gently pulled her into his arms, not wanting to hurt her.
"What are you looking into as far as treatment?" Gibbs asked after he sat at the foot of the bed.
"It has to be aggressive." Tim replied softly. "Her Leukemia is acute and it's been developing for sometime…"
"How could this happen?" Gibbs asked trying not to panic on the outside even though his mind was reeling. "How… did they not notice?"
"Most of the symptoms are similar to those of pregnancy." Ducky said softly from a chair in the corner. "It's not the ideal situation Jethro, but the doctors are doing as much as they can to make sure she gets the treatment she needs."
"But is that enough?" Gibbs asked impatiently.
"Jethro." Ducky hissed. "Can I speak to you in the hall?" Gibbs sighed as he followed Ducky into the hallway.
"What Duck?"
"Jethro you have to be more patient than you've ever been about anything today." Ducky chided him.
"I am being patient!" Gibbs protested.
Ducky shook his head. "No… Gibbs you're not… And I understand why." He said and continued before he could interrupt him. "Abby is like a daughter to you and it hurts to think that her doctors maybe didn't care enough, or weren't careful enough when they were checking her…"
"THAT'S BECAUSE THEY WERENT DUCK!" Gibbs yelled back before sighing in defeat as he sat in a chair in the hall.
Ducky shook his head. "They did everything they were supposed to…"
"I can't lose her Duck… I can't lose another girl." Gibbs said softly.
"I know this is hard… but we have to support Abigail and Timothy no matter what treatment options they chose." Ducky said gently.
"Treatment is treatment isn't it?" Gibbs asked blankly.
"Yes… But it would make Abigail very sick. Depending on what they decide they could opt out of treatment." Ducky said softly.
"YOU MEAN JUST LET HER DIE?" Gibbs screamed angrily. "No I won't let them…"
"Jethro!" Ducky chided. "I'm telling you it's a possibility, not that I think they're going to." He reminded him. "I just need you to be ready to accept their decision no matter what it is."
"I can't just accept…" Gibbs began to protest.
"Gibbs this isn't your choice, its Abby's." Ducky reminded him as he sat down next to him. They sat in silence for several minutes before Gibbs spoke up again.
"Tony and Ziva are going to call for news…" He said softly.
"They have to find out from Abby." Ducky said just as quietly. "You can't tell them Jethro."
"What am I supposed to tell them?" Gibbs asked obviously frustrated.
"That for now, Abby's fine."
"But she's not!" Gibbs replied. "I can't just lie to them… make them assume that this isn't coming!"
"For now… she's fine." Ducky replied calmly. "She's in pain, but nothing's going to happen today."
"Isn't today the most important day?" Gibbs asked, obviously confused.
Ducky sighed. "Today's going to be a hard day, but tomorrow's going to be more important. Treatment decisions will have to be made tomorrow and that's also going to be hard, but it's the more important part of the next forty-eight hours. We'll get everyone in here by then."
"Oh… no… Caitlin and Stace..." Gibbs said in realization. "They can't take this…"
"They're going to be alright." Ducky said gently, completely unsure of himself. "But we should get them all here as soon as possible."
Tim could hear them coming from down the hall.
"Sienna please stop crying." Ziva's voice said, obviously strained through Sienna's wails. Tony's voice could be clearly heard flirting with a nurse, and Caitlin and Anastasia were having a broken sign language and speech conversation.
As soon as they rounded the doorframe into the room Tony spoke up. "Ab…" He began enthusiastically before he looked over and saw her lying, clearly exhausted on her bed. "What's wrong?"
Tim looked over at the group of people who had been so excited moments ago, but had fallen to silence within seconds, even Sienna had calmed down. "Come on over guys." Tim said softly as he gently rubbed Abby's arm to wake her up.
"No…" Abby said as she pulled her bruised hands out from under the blankets.
"Abby what happened?" Ziva asked, clearly concerned. "Did they hurt you?"
Abby shook her head, very slowly. "It's from when I squeezed your hands…" She admitted.
"Oh Abby…" Tony said sadly. "You a bit tired?"
"Alright everyone." Tim said in order to get them to stop talking. "Abby wants me to tell you guys what's happening. And she wants you all to stay calm."
"Abby whatever's wrong we're on your side." Tony assured her, gently squeezing her hand.
"Ow." Abby muttered into Tim's chest.
"Gentle Tony." Tim said as if he were talking to an overly aggressive three year old. "Come here girls." He motioned to his daughters to come sit on the edge of the bed. "Your mom's sick." He said after several moments of silence.
"What's wrong?" Caitlin asked softly.
Tim hesitated for quite some time before he spoke up, "Your mom has a cancer called Leukemia."
Caitlin's brow furrowed before she ran out of the room tears streaming down her face.
"I'll go…" Ziva said as she gently handed Sienna to Tony before quickly going out of the room after her, desperately trying to make sure her emotions didn't crumble. Ten minutes later she found Caitlin sitting halfway down the stairwell. "Hey." Ziva said gently as she sat down next to her.
"Why are you here?" Caitlin asked as she furiously wiped the tears from her eyes.
"Because I know how you feel." Ziva said softly as she put her hand on her shoulder.
Caitlin looked up at her, rage burning in her blue eyes. "NO YOU DON'T!" She screamed angrily. "NO ONE… NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND!"
Ziva sighed. "Caitlin, I know I've spent more time with your sister than you, so you don't know a lot about my past, but I lost my mother when I was about your age. It's so scary…"
"She's not going to die Ziva." Caitlin replied angrily. "How dare you say that I'm going to lose her." She hissed under her breath.
Ziva looked down at the girl who was visibly shaking from fear. "Come here." She said softly before pulling her into a hug, which Caitlin gratefully accepted as she once again broke down into tears. "It's going to be okay…"
Tim was gently rubbing Abby's arm when a nurse knocked at the door. "Come in." He said softly, not wanting to disturb whatever rest Abby was managing to get.
"I thought Abby might want to see Ryan." The nurse said before she wheeled a small cradle into the room.
"Thank you." Tim said sincerely before gently waking Abby. "Someone's here for you."
"Tell them to go away." Abby replied crankily.
"It's Ryan." Tim whispered into her black curls. Abby shoved her face into a pillow and mumbled something in return. "What Abs?" Tim asked softly before Abby flipped over obviously annoyed.
"I don't want him here." Abby said angrily.
Tim inhaled sharply attempting not to take offense by her comment. "Abby he needs you. You're his mommy."
Abby shook her head. "I can't be his mom." She replied anxiously.
"Abby… you can and you are." Tim assured her as he gently lifted his son from the cradle. "Just hold him Abs."
"I can't…" Abby panicked gently pushing them away.
"Abby…" Tim pleaded as he cradled his son to his chest for protection. "You have to."
"NO I DON'T!" Abby said, shoving Tim away.
Tim clutched onto his son, terrified for his safety. "Abigail!" Tim cried as soon as he was sure Ryan was still okay.
"GET OUT!" Abby yelled at him. "I NEVER WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN!"
"What's going on!" Gibbs exclaimed as he and Ducky rushed into the room.
Tim was at the end of his emotional rope as he hung onto his son. "Deal with her." He said angrily before going into the hallway.
"Abigail?" Ducky questioned.
"I never want to see him again." Abby replied as she pushed the tears away that were streaming down her cheeks.
"Timothy?" Ducky asked softly.
"Ryan." Abby admitted softly.
"Oh Abs." Gibbs said softly desperately trying not to let his emotions spill over.
"I can't do it." Abby said quietly.
"Yes… Yes you can Abby." Gibbs assured her.
"No…" She said suddenly looking extremely sick.
"Jethro…" Ducky warned as he quickly passed a bin from beside the bed to him just in time for Abby to empty whatever was left in her stomach. Gibbs sat quietly with Abby waiting for her to speak again.
"I'll be back." Ducky replied before quickly heading into the hall after Tim. "Timothy!" Ducky called as soon as he saw him.
"Ducky…" Tim began.
"I know Timothy." Ducky said softly, waiting a moment before speaking again. "Have you called your parents?"
Tim shook his head. "I haven't talked to them in years Duck."
"Timothy?" Ducky asked in surprise. "When did that…"
Tim sighed. "The last time they came to visit… Abby had a major meltdown."
"Oh dear." Ducky replied quietly. "How bad?"
Tim looked up. "Do you remember when Abby and I disappeared for a month?"
"Timothy…" Ducky said softly, feeling so much empathy for the young man in front of him.
Tim sighed. "My parents just couldn't understand how I could love someone with so much 'baggage' as they called it." He explained. "They wanted to take Stace and Katie with them for awhile, but Caitlin refused… She understands… they both do."
"It's good that you've explained this to them… They should understand why Abby has such a hard time." Ducky encouraged him.
"Trying to explain post-traumatic stress disorder to a eight year old was the hardest thing I ever did." Tim admitted. "But they both understand when she's having an 'episode' that she really just needs space and a lot of love…" That's when Tim realized he had been going about the present situation completely wrong. "Space and a lot of love." He muttered under his breath before practically running back to Abby's room.
As soon as he was there he gently put Ryan in his cradle, where Gibbs took over watching him. Tim quickly rushed over to Abby and pressed his lips gently to her forehead."I'm sorry Abby… I shouldn't have been pressuring you so much." Abby quivered as she desperately tried not to cry. Tim could feel her shaking just from holding her hand. "Hey… it's okay to cry Abs." Tim assured her.
"But I don't want to." Abby admitted, finally letting the tears stream down. "I don't want to waste whatever I have left moping about things."
"Abs…" Tim said feeling the dam in front of his emotions breaking. "You're hurt… It's okay to cry."
Abby shook her head as she choked out several sobs. "I'm so scared." She admitted.
"I know." Tim said as he rubbed his hands up and down her arms. "I am too Abs." He assured her. "But we're going to be okay Abs…" He attempted to comfort her.
"I'm such a failure…" Abby said quietly.
Tim shook his head. "No Abby. You're so much more than you think you are."
"How… How can you see anything good in me anymore. All I've done is fail." Abby muttered softly.
"No Abby…" Tim said, desperately wanting to tell her all the things he was thinking, but unable to put them into words. "You're so perfect Abs."
"No… no I'm not." Abby replied quietly, clearly starting to fall asleep.
"Abby I know you're tired… So I want you to rest… But rest knowing you've made the best choices alright?" Tim said as he felt her lean against his chest, and her breathing starting to slow. "You did what was right Abs." He said softly as she drifted off to sleep.
Author's Note: Hey guys! Thanks so much to all of the readers! I got a request for more frequent updates so I'm officially scheduling an update for every weekend at the least. Sorry I can't do more frequent than that, but I have school and work… so yup. Also the next chapter is kind of a shout-out to the 200th episode! I'm very excited because I loved that episode so much! Please Review!