The Present. 74th Hunger Games: Day 15
"So, how'd you survive?" I asked Foxface. She picked at her bandaged arm.
"Kept running until I collapsed. Thresh was hiding where we'd planned, ready to ambush Cato and save me. I think I'd scarpered again before you arrived. Sorry I threw you the wrong bag."
"Guess it don't matter now."
We went back to searching for edible weeds, staring at the river and the ground. Thresh was resting nearby; he wouldn't let either of us out his sight. Since coming round, nearly a day after the Feast, I couldn't bear not to be close to him anyway. Foxface kept sending him smiles, though he'd shown nothing but the grimmest looks since killing Cato. She smiled at him again, and grinned at me.
"He's quite something, isn't he?"
"Yeah." I dropped my eyes. Thresh was something like a miracle. He'd saved my life too. But I couldn't take no joy in it when we were alive and Peeta dead.
Thresh had told me how he came round after killing Cato, and Clove was on her feet already. She must've been too dazed to sling more knives, since she'd run from Thresh, towards the river. All Thresh could think of was binding up my wound. He couldn't get to Peeta with the medicine from the Feast, before Clove had got there with her knives and bitter rage. He'd promised me she couldn't have tortured Peeta, his cannon had come too soon, but he still died alone in the dark. In the cave where I dragged him, the sweetest boy I ever knew.
He'd loved his Katniss with such courage, she should have loved and saved him a hundred times. But it was me who'd hauled his great enfeebled body through the mud. Bled out that horrible pus, held hands with him and prayed. He'd still died alone, no one but God to love him. I swear I loved Peeta Mallark enough to die, but I'd never have the least thing to do for him again. His mouth that smiled for Katniss wouldn't never again smile for me.
I went back in the cave one last time, to pray for Peeta and Katniss. That the Lord would take care of him, and she would know I was sorry. Then I limped out into the sun, just like Peeta had gone from this hellish earth to the world of light.
"Hey? Rue?" Foxface was whispering, "You don't know his favourite food do you? I always cooked for myself, I'm actually very good."
"Thresh? What's it to you?" I snapped.
"Sorry. It just seemed wrong, knowing barely a thing about each other, when we're fighting for our lives. You know, Rue…back home, I could hid in some nook for hours; I thought I liked being alone. But if I was still alone in this forest, waiting to die, I'd probably be three days into raving madness. So…thanks."
She was right. I'd told Katniss all about my folks and home, and wished as she was dying I'd asked her so much more. After that I'd never talked so free, with even Peeta. I sent her own question right back.
"I like...chicken with cream? If it isn't just food, maybe maths?"
"Maths? Urgh!" We stared at each other. She laughed a bit, and I actually smiled.
–0–
Me and Foxface kept talking, as we headed to our new camp near a tiny pond. Thresh walked ahead in silence. I couldn't stop staring at his back; the muscles shifting beneath his jacket just looked strong and broad as the plains. I didn't know whether to kiss his feet or call him a puddingheaded fool for saving me, but I didn't need to ask why. After I'd saved him with my slingshot, Thresh wouldn't consider anything but paying back the debt.
Maybe we didn't need to speak. I almost felt safe as being with Katniss, now, just being with Thresh. He wouldn't go away, he'd keep me safe, until Clove was dead. Then I had the Nightlock for paying him back with my life.
He'd even cut me a thick staff to limp along with. After falling out that tree and still running about, my ankle was painfully twisted. I couldn't raise my left arm for pain either, though the wound wasn't lethal. I wouldn't be climbing any trees soon, or maybe ever.
But somehow, I could still smile at the lovely forest flowers we passed, and the quick little birds passing by above our heads. However much death there'd been, the forest was beautiful; every shade of leaf and bark, with the whole dance of sunlight and shadow flitting over it all. Somehow I could smile that I wasn't dead, and gone from it all. I hoped the Capitol folk all noticed me smiling too. In their world I had to be the broken-winged little Mockingjay. The bright, innocent spirit that wouldn't never be crushed, for the sake of her precious ally, the Girl on Fire. Katniss. Painful joy leapt through me, as her gold pin shone in the sun.
Foxface was called Melissa Finch. She'd one brother who died of cancer from the power plants, and two parents–I think she didn't look happy talking about them. She was in something called a track team in her school, explaining how she could run like that. But it seemed she didn't like running so much as maths and science. She'd wanted to go to some big school called college, until she was twenty, instead of staying work in a power plant next year. But only the rich kids went there.
"That's greed." Thresh finally spoke up, "Folk ought to work."
"Well, I want to design flying machines. Not hovercraft, real ones. They say that the sky's so messed up with radiation now, nothing can get above 10,000 feet. But there must be a way to get up there. I know–no, I always knew I'd have to work very hard to get a chance to try." Her face looked so bitter, I had to break in.
"That's a nice dream, Melissa. I often wished I could soar above the clouds, though I never cared much for school. Maybe playing with my friends was nice."
"Friends?" She showed her teeth, then suddenly ran up behind Thresh. My eyes went wide as she grabbed onto his hand with both of hers, "You two are the only true friends I've ever had. The only ones who risked their lives for me. Thresh, I'm glad I came here and met you. I always hoped before I died, I could fall in love–"
Thresh shook her hands off like water. He faced her, and spoke real quiet.
"If you ain't just looking for Sponsors, listen. I killed the Two boy, and I never felt no sorrow. Now I even gonna kill his girl–I'm a damned, worthless killer, and you best understand that. I can't save you. Not you and Rue both."
Foxface turned to me, like she was lost, and when I saw her narrow eyes pouring tears, I ran and hugged her. Her words were true like Peeta's. I was sure. But what could I say to Thresh, as he watched in silence and sadness? What was the use?
The Present. 74th Hunger Games: Day 16 noon
I wasn't sure how District Twelve felt about me; I'd loved and saved both their Tributes, before both of them died helping me. At least they couldn't hate me as much as District Two had to be despising Clove. Not just failing to kill Thresh and me, but running from Elevens–she didn't have a hope of winning. Thresh and Foxface were even wearing the skin-tight black armour suits from the Two pack at the Feast. Clove could only lurk and hide, most likely hoping we'd die from infection in agony, before we tracked her down.
Maybe I'd end up that way, like Peeta nearly had. My brow was burning, even in the day's heat, I'd felt dizzy and awful thirsty since morning. At least three of the Feast packs had been full of food; after days of nuts and berries, I was hungry enough to drop. Thresh would have to kill Clove; he said that was why he'd used the precious infection medicine from the Twelve Pack on himself. The wounds in his arm and trunk barely slowed him, however bad they really were. He had Cato's sword at his hip, but Katniss's bow in his hands. Like Foxface said, it was the best weapon for hunting.
For most of yesterday we'd been stealing through the forest, looking out for Clove. I'd been limping along close to Thresh, while Foxface prowled through the trees. Sometimes she even slipped out of our sight–we needed to find Clove quick as we could, and Foxface had good eyes. If anyone spotted Clove, we'd agreed to give my Mockingjay whistle twice; once for all clear. Thresh moved beside me, eyes on the forest. I finally I asked him.
"Huh? Guess corncobs. Roasted with butter, like Sis done them."
"Guess I just love roast grousling. Like Katniss gave me."
A while later, Thresh managed to shoot a stray grousling, and we stopped for lunch. I sat on a log and whistled for Foxface, as Thresh set a little fire up. I heard a single whistle in reply, but Foxface didn't show up. Finally I heard rustling in the bushes, and stepped over to meet her, standing on tiptoe and straining my eyes.
I cried out when I saw Clove slinking through the trees, and threw myself down. She might have got me if Thresh hadn't snatched up the bow, and fired an arrow through her shoulder. With a howl, Clove dropped her knife, and staggered off. Thresh went straight to me again, but Clove was leaving a blood trail behind her.
–0–
"Foxface. She was searching that way," I stammered, "How'd Clove get past her? She can't be–"
"She ain't," Thresh grated, "Check the packs." I checked, and there was a lot of food gone, "She led Clove to us."
"I don't understand. She said we'd draw lots! Couldn't you have been nice to her, Thresh?" He gave me a look like I was crazy.
"Girl, this the Hunger Games. And I never intended to risk your life over that foolishness with lots. I reckon Foxface knew that." He was talking fast, almost grinning, "Never have agreed to it, I hadn't known she'd betray us first. Now I can find her, after I kill the Two girl. Then you be safe, little Rue."
"Foxface betrayed us? That's horrible. But it's like you always understood each other. You could've been friends," Thresh never answered, he just kept packing up our stuff, "Can't you forgive her?"
"Maybe. Gotta kill her first though."
"Thresh, no! She's our friend–"
"Just try and stop me!"
Then he set off after Clove, with great strides, and all I could do was scurry on after. My head was spinning. I didn't feel any safer than being alone, and that really scared me. I stared at Thresh's back, still not knowing what to say.
"Thresh? Back home, you got a sweetheart?"
"Not no more."
"Oh. But she must still care about you, Thresh. She's hoping you get home safe–"
"I told her in the Justice building, she should count me dead. Wasn't gonna kill, wasn't coming back. You pity Willow Adams, Rue. It nearly a sin if you pity such folk as me."
I stopped, throwing down my stick.
"Thresh, you saved Foxface and me, but I just hated the boy I killed, for Katniss! If there's no hope for you, there ain't none for me!"
Thresh stopped and sighed, still looking away from me into the trees, "You a little girl. Shouldn't ever be here, facing such things–no one could've asked more of you. But I a man, who shucked every bale and watched every flogging they asked him to, and never did a thing to save his people who starved and bled. Kids, old folk, my own Ma and Pa...I hated the Peacekeepers. But what could I do, with all these muscles? What did I do?"
"They were too strong, Thresh. They was no way–"
"Should've made a way! Helped the folk who starved, even stole for them. Should've had floggings with everyone else, not harvesting medals! I could only save one little girl, and I can't hope the Lord will save me. I just ask God pays all the Capitol folk their wages. For all they did for us, every last bit."
The wages of sin...I was still wondering at Thresh's courage to almost flat out curse the Capitol, when he turned at a rustle in the thicket, and Clove burst out.
–0–
It was very quick. The bow flew from Thresh's hand, as he blocked a throwing knife. Then Clove leapt up, launched with one foot off a tree, thrust her knife into his face with a scream. Thresh cried out with pain, as his great arms shot out and slamming Clove into the tree. Slammed her again and again, until her foot swung up into his face. With another cry, Thresh flung her into the ground. Clove had another knife and she was bringing it to her own throat, but Thresh seized her arm, and hit it against the tree until it broke with a crack.
As Clove went white and crumpled up, Thresh ripped her jacket off. No more knives. He brandished Cato's sword, blood running down from a carved cheek.
"Gonna kill yourself now, escape what you did? Ain't so easy, Two-girl–"
"I'm not afraid, you filthy ape!" Clove hissed out, "You can't hurt me worse than the pain of my spirit!"
I gasped out loud, and Thresh stepped back. Straight as train-rails, a track of fresh, neat knife cuts ran right down Clove's left arm.
"Why?" Thresh whispered.
"Ha! All the life your kind know is food and work! In District Two we have honour and we have duty. I had to soak this arena in your blood to prove we're above you all. But I failed…"
"I give you ten minutes to live." Thresh raised the sword, "You still got time to pray to God. Repent what you did–"
"What do you think I've been doing?" Clove's eyes were just sad and crazy now, as she brandished her bleeding arms, "This is how I feel about failing my District. My family! Failing Cato, a man worth more than all your District! This is my atonement! This is the pride of a Two Career!" Thresh ground his teeth, but couldn't answer.
"Yeah. Your pride," Both of them turned to stare at my widened eyes, "You're only sorry about what hurts you, or your family. Not about the kids you killed for nothing, or how their folks are suffering now, like Cato's. Torturing yourself ain't caring or regret." I was glaring at Thresh now, "You just giving up on winning anything but pity, from the audience and your District!
"You never had pity yourself, not on Peeta or me. But I'm gonna forgive you, anyway." I swallowed, pictured Peeta's brave, pale face, and smiled as I looked up at Clove's shocked face, "I'm not gonna hate you either, Clove, not even for killing him. I'm sorry for all you suffered. If you think about what you did–"
"What I did?" Her voice was strange. Confused. "You think I killed Lover-boy, Monkey-girl?"
"Huh?" Clove saw me bewildered now, and right there, she start to giggle like she was dying crazy.
"Quiet!" Thresh suddenly roared. I stared at him in shock.
"Oh, this is good. This is finally the Hunger Games!" Clove grated breathlessly, "I never touched lover boy–I never found him! Your prince here killed him dead, like he's gonna kill you dead, Monkey–!"
"SHUT IT!"
Thresh drove the sword down so hard Clove's body got nailed to the earth. Then his eyes bugged out, like he'd shocked himself; he turned around like he could barely look at me.
"I promised her ten minutes. Rue. I sorry. But she was lying, I never hurt Peeta–!"
He was lying, I knew it. I couldn't trust him, he couldn't control himself in his rage. I'd never get clear if I ran–but I snatched up my stick and ran anyway.
"RUE!"
His shout filled the forest, as he surged up right behind, I screamed out for fear. It was a second before he caught me that the earth just opened under my feet.
–0–
Shocked as a sparrow that hit a windowpane, I tumbled down a slide in utter darkness. It finally levelled off and dropped me onto solid wood, before I heard the whole structure crash down behind me. Then fire burst out below the place I was stood.
Above a field of roaring fire, I was on a pillar of wood, with huge carved branches. Something like a tree, in a some cave underneath the Arena, lit up by flames. Most certainly all the Gamemakers' doing.
Clove was dead, I was safe from Thresh. I had the nightlock–but could I die for him now? I was sure Clove hadn't lied. But he'd protected me so long. I didn't know if he'd killed Peeta, or not. I wanted to talk with him, once more. I wanted to talk to Mama again, to go home.
On top of that senseless buried tree, I cried like I never had since Katniss left me alone. I couldn't fight no more. I didn't want to die. I wanted my home, my Mama and Pa. Holly and Pet, Jim and Billy Joe. Jessie and Granny and Thresh. I just couldn't leave them all behind, and die. I wanted to see Katniss, and Peeta. But they'd wanted me to live.
But I couldn't go back, how could I? How could I face them, when I'd let my friends die, killed–?
Then I noticed, there was a little cage on each branch around me. A little black bird in each one, with a pretty crest. I was staring at the nearest when it talked with Thresh's voice.
"Lord. Not asking you forgive me. Just save Rue–I only killing this boy, so she lives!"
"–Marcus Justus Cato. Born to win the 74th Hunger Games."
"–Glimmer D'Aronique. Yes, Caesar, I am very prepared–"
Then she was crying out with poisoned agony, her and the Four girl. More voices, even louder than their screams;
"Jason Argo, next Victor for District Four–"
"–Marvel Jackson–"
"–I'll help you survive, Rue. For Katniss–"
"–Prim. I mean to win the Games, for my sister, Prim–"
"You're not listening girl! We raised you right! Forget what's right–lose your soul–worse than death! Run! Don't fight! Run!"
There was nowhere, to run but the fire, and I fell down like the Lord Himself had crushed me underfoot. Mama had always been right, I'd lost my way and made all the children die for me. Now this was the hell where I paid.