Fifteen
She hadn't gone to sleep that night, nor did she go back into the dorm. She had watched Sachiko left with a pained heart that if was possible, would be bleeding out of her body at that point. The words that the Ogasawara heiress had struck a bigger blow to her heart, than the heiress' hand to her reddened cheek. 'At least I can fight for what I love, can you?' The question had been lurking around her mind for the rest of that night, and the following day. The sting from her cheek had long subdued, but the sting from her heart hadn't. The more she thought about the question, the more she found herself to fall back into the helpless girl that she was a year ago. Had she fought for the person that she loved? Had she fought for anything that she once loved and cherished for?
"Of course I have!" Shizuma muttered under her breath as she leaned her back against the wall in her room on a Saturday early morning. She hadn't even gone to sleep yet. These past couple of weeks she had been going in and out of sleep. She couldn't even remember the last time she had gotten one good night sleep. She couldn't believe that she had let Sachiko's words to trouble her this much. It was like the other girl had figured out her weakness that she had been trying to hide. It just didn't make sense to her. She hadn't interacted with the raven-haired girl for that long, and she had only been trying to get some negative reaction from her that it just didn't make sense the girl could have her figured out. She knew that she wasn't that obvious in revealing her only weakness to the raven-haired heiress. So how could one girl figure her out in just a span of a week?
"It's almost morning." She sighed to herself as she pulled her legs to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them. She laid her chin atop her knees and stared blankly at the white duvet. She had tried to go back to sleep hours after she had woken up, but sleep obviously was avoiding her for some unknown reasons. She knew that her two assistants would come to get her for breakfast. Well, Miyuki would come to get her for breakfast while her two council members would wait patiently outside. Since it wasn't for another two hours that those three would come to get her, she decided to make that time a bit useful for her while trying to not think about the heiress' painful words.
Letting out another sigh, she pushed the bed cover away from her body and slipped out of her bed. Ever since that uneventful day, she had asked the head sister to give her a room of her own. Being an Etoile had its perks, but that perks gave her more time to soak herself in her own depression than giving her the peace that she always been seeking for. She felt that the same depression was about to get to her, so she shook her head to chase it away as she made her way towards the bathroom. Once she made it to the bathroom, she closed the door and turned the bath water on. She waited for the water to fill the bathtub before turning the tab off. She stripped out of her night gown and slipped herself into the warm water that was waiting for her. When her naked body submerged into the warm water, all the stress that she had been feeling slowly starting to slip away. Even though the stress was almost gone, the guilt started to resurface; the guilt of leading Nagisa on.
'Have I been leading her on?' The silver-haired beauty thought to herself as she titled her head back to rest it against the wall behind her. She couldn't have been leading the young, beautiful red head on. She had felt an instant attraction towards the other girl when they first met. At first she only thought that the red head was just another beautiful girl, but when her hand had lightly touched the other girl's, there was some spark there. If it wasn't for that spark she wouldn't have even bothered to try and get to her. Well, that was a blatant lie. Even without the spark, she would still go out of her way to get to know the red head. There was something unique about her that she hadn't seen in any of the girls attending the schools in Astrea. The red head was full of life and she had never let anything get to her. Her smiles and laughter were infectious and contagious. Whenever Shizuma was with her she could always felt like she was soaring through the sky with the red head with happiness. Nagisa was just like a drug to her, a drug that she couldn't get out of.
'Have I been using her for my own selfish needs?' She mentally asked herself as a sigh escaped her parted lips. Her feelings were in turmoil. She didn't know whether to open up her heart for the red head just so she could find the answer, or to continuing on with what she had been doing. She had known the girl for two months at the most, and those two months had been truly a blessing. Finally, after further thoughts on the matter, she decided to let her own heart lead the way instead of her head this time. If her heart wished for Nagisa, then she knew that she couldn't refuse such a request from it.
"Shizuma?" Miyuki's faint voice from outside her room brought her out of her thoughts. She couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. She hadn't thought that she had been in this bath for almost two hours. She hadn't even noticed that the water had turned cold.
If she called out an answer she'd doubt that her best friend would be able to hear her. So she stood up from the bathtub and climbed out of it. She grabbed a towel from the stand and wrapped it around her body. She then grabbed another towel to dry her hair off as she made an exit out of the bathroom. It was then that the knocking from Miyuki had gotten louder and before she could open her mouth to answer the short-haired girl, the door had then been swung opened and Miyuki had dashed inside as if there was something wrong inside her room. Shizuma stopped on her track as her best friend's eyes quickly fell on her. She watched in pure amusement as the other girl's face changed from worried to shock to embarrassment in just a mere minute.
"My, my, Miyuki, I didn't expect you to come barging in without my permission." The silver-haired beauty chuckled in amusement as the other girl's blush darkened.
Miyuki quickly turned herself around to hide her own blush. "You didn't answer when I call you, I thought there was something wrong with you so I wanted to check if you were alright."
"Well then," Shizuma said with a small smile. "Would you mind closing the door? Unless you want everyone to see me dressed like…" She gestured her hand at her towel-wrapped body. "This."
Without another word, Miyuki quickly closed the door but still keeping her body turned away from her. "You better get dressed then. We can't keep everyone waiting so you can start the prayer before breakfast."
"Oh, we can't have that now can't we?" Shizuma teased. "Would you be a dear and come help dry me off? And maybe, dress me as well?" She asked, knowing the reaction that she would get from the other girl.
Embarrassed or not, Miyuki had quickly found a magazine and had turned to toss it at Shizuma. When the other girl had ducked her head to avoid it, she had found another magazine to toss at her. That only fuelled Shizuma's amusement as she let out a light laugh. After a minute or two, the laughter died down along with Miyuki's little assault. The Miator's Student Council President straightened herself before giving her best friend a stern look. "We've wasted enough time goofing off already. Please try to be fast with getting yourself to look proper. I will wait for you outside."
With that said the short blue-haired girl turned and left the room. Shizuma only let out a small smile until Miyuki was out of her sight. She sighed and shrugged her shoulders. It had been quite some time that they had goofed off like this together. 'Yes, it has been too long to see her like this.' With a shake of her head she quickly dried herself off before putting on her uniform. Since she was an Etoile, she had a duty to fulfil until the next Etoile to come along.
-x-
She couldn't believe that she had done such a thing without thinking. She couldn't blame the other girl for her act. She did act upon her own instinct after all. She had thought Shizuma was still in bed either sick or that she was upset. Then again, if the latter had been upset then she would have responded to her when Miyuki was calling her name, right? Then how did she not think that her friend was taking a bath? Well, Shizuma had never taken a bath that bright and early in the morning for all the time she had known the girl. They were once roommates after all, until her dearest friend had become an Etoile. She had blamed herself for not trying to stop both of them for entering the Etoile Election. If it wasn't for St Miator's pride and the courage that she had given to the other Etoile that had long passed away, Shizuma wouldn't be in this situation. Well, how was she going to tell anyway?
"Idiot." Miyuki muttered to herself as she stood outside Shizuma's room. She was leaning against the closed door with her eyes set on the wooden floor. She should have known better than to chase a silly little dream that she knew she couldn't reach. If she was brave enough back then she would have told Shizuma her feelings. However, she had never been brave when it came to her feelings. She also had a betrothal that she knew one day she had to be loyal to. Her feelings for Shizuma wouldn't last long after her marriage anyway. Well, that was what she thought.
"Good morning, Rokujo-sama."
Miyuki looked up and smiled politely at the girls that were passing by. "Good morning."
'I need to stop dwelling on this ridiculous feelings. It's not making me feel any better.' She sighed. Several minutes gone passed before she heard a sound coming from behind the closed door. She quickly eased off the door and moved to the side. The door was then opened, and behind it revealed the now dressed up Hanazono Shizuma ready to do her Etoile's duty. She turned to face Miyuki and smiled gently at the girl before offering the latter her hand.
"Shall we?" She asked, her eyes swirling with the amusement that she couldn't get rid off from earlier. The other girl nodded her head with a small smile before laying her hand atop of the taller girl's.
They walked hand in hand for a couple of minutes before Miyuki gently pulled her hand out of Shizuma's loose grasp. She didn't need to hold Shizuma's hand anymore. She wasn't that little girl anymore when she had come here. She was a grown woman now, and she could stand on her own. However, the feeling of Shizuma's soft skin was strong enough to stop her from pulling her hand away. If it wasn't for her courage and pride, she knew she would still be holding onto the silver-haired beauty's hand. If there was one thing she had to admit to herself that would be feeling jealous of all the fan girls around Shizuma. Since that pride was preventing her to do such a thing, that very fact had been pushed back at the back of her mind.
"Good morning, Rokujou-sama, Etoile-sama." Came Shimako's soft voice.
The two seniors stopped to smile at the Lilian Angel along with their polite responds. Miyuki was the first to notice that the other youngest of the Roses was missing. So before Shizuma had registered the fact that the brown pigtailed girl was missing, Miyuki opened her mouth and spoke with concern and curiosity in her voice. "Where is Yumi-chan this morning?"
Shimako shook her head before answering. "She is still in bed."
Shizuma observed the way Shimako had given Miyuki the answer. She knew that there was something wrong even though the blonde was hiding it so well. Nothing would be able to pass her eyes if she was really interested or curious about it. "Is she unwell?" She asked in concern.
Shimako offered both of the seniors a smile of gratitude. "Thank you for your concerns, Rokujo-sama, Etoile-sama. Yumi just stayed up too late last night so she is sleeping in."She lied effortlessly with her smile still intact. "Shall we go to the dining room together?"
"Of course, we would be delighted to walk with you." Miyuki said warmly as she flashed a glance over at Shizuma. The taller girl blinked before nodding with a smile of her own.
"Of course, let's not keep them waiting any further." She responded before the three of them began to advance towards the dining hall. It wasn't until long that the two seniors heard the soft giggle coming from the younger girl. When they turned to look at her in confusion, the blonde just shook her head before she gestured her head over to the opened dining hall.
"My apologies, but I would doubt that they are waiting for you. As you can see, the seats haven't been filled yet. So most likely, you will be waiting for them to arrive." The blonde said lightly as she tried to ease up the tension she could feel after she had told them about Yumi.
Both of the older girls chuckled and nodded as the three of them entered the dining hall. Once they gave the room a look over, they nodded before looking over to Shimako. "You are right," Shizuma said. "Although I do not mind waiting, however, I suppose your Onee-sama seems to not be able to wait for you to join her." She stated as the current Rosa Gigantea was waving her hand at Shimako, signalling the girl to come to her.
Shimako let out a giggle before she turned and bowed respectfully at the two Miator seniors. "Thank you for walking me here, Rokujo-sama, Etoile-sama."
"It is our pleasure." Miyuki responded. Shimako offered them one last smile that morning before she turned and made her way to Sei. Miyuki turned to look at Shizuma whom was looking at the departed girl. She giggled slightly. "Lovely girl, isn't she?"
Shizuma chuckled before turning to Miyuki. "She is. It is too bad that she seems uninterested to either of us." And before Miyuki could let out another lecture about her not being interested in any women, the silver-haired beauty had quickly moved away from her while chuckling in amusement as the latter was following her with a small frown.