Pandemonium: Chapter 24
Credits to CC for her wonderful characters

AN: "Guess who's back? Back again? Shady's back. Tell a friend! Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back... ...now this looks like a job for me, so everybody just follow me, cuz we need a little controversy because it feels so empty without me!" -Eminem

Did I just quote Eminem? I don't know whether to be horrified at what I just did or really proud of myself. Eek? I mean it could have been worse, right? I could have quoted other artists...Eminem just felt so...so appropriate.

Okay so I finally got to this. It took a lot of staring at an empty screen and I think it's probably my worst chapter so far. BUT on the bright side I can finally move to the more exciting stuff (especially if schadenfreude is something you like). Thanks for dealing with my quasi-Existential Crisis. I'm going to try to publish every Wednesday from now on, but that will probably change.

The remaining days surprisingly passed with ease.

Before they could take a moment to breathe, Alec and Magnus found themselves sitting across from each other in the same place they had professed their love for each other a few weeks prior. This was it. This was the conversation that needed to happen.

They sat across from each other, staring intently. Neither wanted to begin. In those silent moments many things went unsaid. The air was alive with hidden whispers; proclamations of love, moments of laughter, prayers whispered in the dark of night all encompassed the dead empty space between them. This real silence was worse than any oppressive lack of sound Alec had faced in a nightmare. No external power controlled him here; the silence was of their own making. Time oozed slowly across the pages of history with the viscosity of tar.

After what felt like the rise and fall of the Rome, Magnus opened his mouth to speak. Or at least that's what Alec thought he was going to do. Instead Magnus just sneezed.

"Bless you!"

Alec paused. Despite everything he had reminded himself over the week, he ended up speaking first, which was not part of the grand plan.

Slowly, a wide smile spread across Magnus' face.

"So you're not cursing me anymore. That's good."

Alec folded his arms unhappily and pouted. This was not going as he planned. Magnus was acting all adorable and it wasn't helping him concentrate.

Magnus, of course stopped smiling as soon as Alec started pouting. He still couldn't deal with Alec pouting. The way his delicate lips curved downwards and quivered ever so slightly drove Magnus insane. His mind began wandering to the times when he could plant his own lips on those, when he could claim that soft face as his own, when Alec was his only, when...it was all pointless; that's why he was here: to get it back, to get Alec back. In order to do that he needed to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

His knuckles slowly got whiter as he clutched the arm rests of his seats as if they were the only things keeping him attached to this world. His heart picked up pace, and a small bead of sweat formed on the top of his forehead making him glisten just a bit more, not that Alec noticed. Despite the sudden dryness in his throat, Magnus meekly mumbled out, "I suppose it's time for me to start."

Alec said nothing. He didn't need to. The sudden dilation of his pupils that made them almost entirely encompass his eyes said it all. This was the moment he was waiting for, and despite what Magnus was thinking, Alec had noticed the small bead of sweat; it gave him both a small sense of smug satisfaction that he could make Magnus-the forever cool and always controlled-nervous and a larger sense of warmth because it meant that Magnus cared a lot about this conversation.

"So I've had-uh-a number of prior relationships to ours."

Alec simply raised his eyebrows.

Magnus wasn't entirely sure what that specific gesture meant. Was it surprise? Was it simple resignation? Was it a little sarcasm? Such a simple gesture, yet so many possible meanings. Sometimes physical actions said more than words could ever; right now was not one of those times. It would be much easier for Alec to talk, to say something-anything, but instead all Magnus got was silence, folded arms and raised eyebrows.

There was one meaning, though, that was completely clear from that statement: continue.

And so he pressed on. He began by explaining, with sparse details, about living alone for a very long time. Something about his mother passing away in a sad manner. If Magnus had been tense before, then now he was more strained than ever before. It was obvious that this part of the conversation was difficult. He continued, voice low and smooth. After some time, the tone changed. Slowly the deep bass of his voice became louder and slightly more baritone. Magnus was talking about a number of people: Camille "the green eyed bitch" Belcourt, Raphael "the sad but sexy latino" Santiago, and that little tryst with Woolsey Scott (which was underplayed as more physical than emotional, to Alec's complete and utter horror).

By the time all of this was done Magnus was schlumped over in his chair. Most of the energy that was originally in his eyes had drained from his face. Despite their lack of energy, Magnus' eyes still searched Alec's face in wonder, trying to find some physical reaction in his eyes or on his mouth that would tell him the answer he was looking for.

Unfortunately, Alec's face was perfectly stoic. He could have been posing for a portrait, if the artist wanted the paragon of stoicism, that was. His jaw and forehead were perfectly aligned. His eyebrows perfectly still, resting upon his eyes as if blissfully asleep. His eyes opened just the right amount, letting in the correct amount of light whilst refraining from giving any expression at all. His lips formed a simple shape, curved in what looked like the most natural form. His cheeks shone, pale like the moon and just as inanimate. The rest of his body language was perfect too. His arms were resting delicately on the rests were devoid of any pressure or movement; their relaxed approach signified nothing. His posture was regal, yet unconcerned; his back, while certainly not schlumping like Magnus', wasn't perfectly aligned either; rather, it was in a comfortable slight curve that was matched by his shoulders slight backwards rotation and easy going stance.

He had even mastered the empty gaze. He was looking neither here nor there. He stared intently at nothing. His pupils were directed at Magnus, but it was as if a glass film covered Magnus' face, preventing Alec from actually seeing anything. Magnus made two mental notes: Michelangelo's Davide had nothing on Alec in terms of statuary hotness and he should avoid gambling with Alec at all costs-he had an impeccable poker face.

During these observations, Magnus kept his eyes wide open. He feared that if he blinked at this beautiful statue, at this angel of a boy, he might start weeping.

Finally, Alec let out a rather loud breath. It was an exhalation of such power that the emotion behind it was easily recognizable. To Magnus' confusion it was relief.

Relief? Magnus thought. What would cause Alec to be relieved?

Alec couldn't help but be slightly entertained by the range of emotions that were consistently running across Magnus' face. He made a point to try to play poker with Magnus, especially if he was flustered or drunk; that would be a good night of monetary reaping. At every turn Magnus' face moved from complete adoration to fear to consternation to surprise to confusion. That's where it was now: confusion.

Having enjoyed himself on Magnus' behalf enough, Alec let his lips curve upwards slowly in a tiny smile.

Magnus' eyes crinkled further in confusion; he started to pout ever so slightly. He stared intently at Alec, and finally-with a bit of exasperation in his voice-he asked, "What?"

Shyly, Alec said "Your story was...interesting. I didn't know you were that...uh...experienced." Finally some color had come to his face. If, of course, by some color you mean bright red shame.

Finally it was Magnus' turn to be the stoic one. Raising a single eyebrow, he asked-with pressed lips-"is that all?"

All of Alec's previous bravado had crumbled into shambles under Magnus' piercing gaze. Staring down at the table, he mumbled something about Magnus' sincerity and his appreciation for the trust.

Smugness had come over Magnus. This was the Alec he recalled falling in love with, and the Alec he thoroughly enjoyed making nervous and jittery. Gone was the stoic statue-like prince, and back was the adorably awkward, slightly awestruck angel.

"And?" he asked.

At this point it had occurred to Alec that Magnus was going to go through the whole process with him. He was going to have to accept his apology and re-profess his love all over again; there was no other option. Half answers and awkward stares were not going to work. Magnus wanted a clear definition on their relationship. Magnus wanted him to choose, right there in that moment and place. He wanted Alec to choose between the heat and the cold.

Alec could barely control his own reactions. The warmth, the fiery heat that was emanating from Magnus was too much. It pulled at his soul and played with the very strings of his heart. It heated the very blood in his veins, filling him with warmth and energy. Alec felt more alive with Magnus than he had ever felt before. And what was the point of existing if one didn't feel truly alive?

Alec decided that the flames were better than the cold.

Better to live life like a short burning star then a cold never-ending winter, right?

This was to be his choice. He would die in an Inferno, to be pushed eternally back and forth by a terrible storm, but this life and even that punishment would be his to bear with Magnus; it was to be his Paradiso.

With the energy and warmth that had flooded his body upon the decision, Alec picked up his head and smiled with bright eyes.

"And," he said, "and I forgive you Magnus Bane, the Bane of my existence though you are, I love you and I cannot do anything but forgive you."

Magnus, giddy with joy, leaned across the table and kissed Alec.

It had been too long for both of them. The passion that they exuded was almost luminous. Love and warmth filled the room.

At some point during the intense make out session, Magnus groaned uncomfortably.

Pulling back sadly, Alec asked what was wrong.

Magnus, smiling devilishly, told him that the table was preventing his hands from doing certain things.

Alec blushed uncontrollably and looked downwards.

He shook his head a little regretfully and said, "N-n-not tonight. I need to...uh...sleep tonight because tomorrow is an important day."

Magnus rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed. Had they continued it was quite certain that neither of them would be sleeping much.

With a quick kiss, they parted.

As each returned to his respective bed, he flopped excitedly and smiled uncontrollably. This was a laugh of love.

That night Alec slept well. As he slept he didn't even worry about what the next day would bring, which probably was good because the next day would prove to be very interesting indeed.

Sorry that sucked, but hey things can get moving again! I even have a whole plan mapped out and everything. Anyway I would just like to thank malecanddestiel and pseudonym808 for their wonderful encouragement. Also probably should just throw a shout out to Rick Riordan and Veronica Roth, whose two books that came out recently really helped me remember why writing and reading are awesome.

Anyway I'm very happy to be back!