Sorry about the late update. Been distracted by the holidays but now that is out the way I can write most days! Yay

A few weeks had past since Harry had started to self harm. It had gotten worse, with him doing it every day. He had always done it when there was no one around as he knew that people would judge him for it. Some of the first cuts he did were slowly fading but the most recent ones stood out. Harry covered them up with a few charms and clothes..

The winter air hit Harry straight in the face as he walked out of the entrance hall and into the courtyard. He buttoned his robes all the way up to his chin and carried on walking. He looked up at the sky and sighed as the snow fell slowly and gracefully to earth. Harry sighed as this was his first snow without Cedric by his side, keeping him warm. He once again wanted to cry but knew that pain was to much to handle. After making sure no one was around he dragged himself off to a small stone alchove in the wall and placed a darkening charm on the place. He then knelt down and pulled up his sleeves, removing the charms on his arm so he could see the cuts. He pointed his wand, once again at his arm and cut himself. The warm liquid trickled down his arm and a few drops hit the floor. Suddenly Harry looked up as he felt eyes staring down at him. He gasped in shock as he saw Hermione stood there, her mouth dropped to the floor in shock. Harry could not say anything to his best friend but he knew his face said it all.

"Oh Harry" Hermione said, pulling him up and hugging him tightly "Why?"

"I'm sorry. Did you just ask me why, Well because my boyfriend is dead. Murdered by Draco Malfoy for no reason, no reason at all and that bastard got away with it. I have no way of letting out all the pain i am carrying so this way let's me focus on another pain for a few minutes. It is a blessed relief from the pain i have been carrying these past few weeks" He said, nearly shouting and on the edge of tears.

Hermione looked deep into Harry's eyes, gasped and stumbled back "You're in so much pain, I can see it in your eyes" Hermione cried, with tears running down her face. She could not believe why she did not see this eariler. He was her best friend and she had been blind for so long. She hugged him once again, holding him to her shoulder.

Harry felt a few tears escape his now wet eyes, dropping now onto Hermione's shoulder. He sort of felt relief now that one person had found out what he was doing to himself but at the same time he felt worried because Hermione could tell Ron and Harry didn't want that.

"Please, don't tell anyone" Harry cried

Hermione removed his head from her shoulders and looked at him.

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me" She said, smiling a small sad smile

Hermione took Harry's hand and walked him back inside the castle. She walked him up to the griffyindor common room, their hands still enticed.

"What are we doing here?" Harry asked, looking around

Hermione didn't answer. Instead she walked him up to his bedroom which he shared with the others fourth year students. Hermione opened the door for him and saw that no one was in there. She was reliefed as she knew Harry would not want anyone around him. She led him to his four poster bed and layed him gently down on it. He sighed as his head hit the pillow and he felt a little bit safe.

"Now wait here while i get something" Hermione ordered him before leaving the room.

Harry looked up at the ceiling, letting his mind fill with memoris once again of his Beloved. A pang of Guilt hit him and filled his entire body until he felt like he was going to die from it. What would Cedric think if he knew Harry was doing this to himself? How would this make Cedric feel? Harry suddenly sat up as he heard the door swing open and He hid his face from the person that had just walked in. He felt the matress go down as the person sat at the end of the bed.

"Harry give me your arm" Hermione said

Harry looked at Her and extended his arm, letting her grab ahold of it. She uncorked a vial with her spare hand and poured a little of the liquid onto the cuts and scars. A little steam rose from his arm as the liquid covered the cuts. Hermione placed her hand onto them, to make sure the potion did not go all over the bed sheets. After doing this on all the cuts Hermione looked at Harry's arm to see all the flesh had repaired itself and there were no wounds on him. She corked the vial back up and threw it out of the window, getting rid of the evdience.

"How do you feel?" She asked Harry would had now covered his arm with his robes once more

"Still the same but thank you for that" He replied, hugging her once more and feeling the warmth from her body hit him.

They stayed like this for a few minutes before Hermione pulled back. She held Harry's hand and placed it to his heart.

"He is there Harry, Looking out for you and loving you. The one's we love never truly leave us" Hermione said, with a few tears running down her face

"Didn't Sirius say that last summer?" Harry asked, knowing the answer to it already without havning Hermione answer him

Hermione nodded and started to giggle. Harry started to join in and he suddenly felt a little bit better just from the giggling with a very good friend and not worrying about a lot of things for that moment in time. Hermione then got up from the bed and started to slowly walk out the the room.

"Hermione?" Harry shouted to her, wanting her to turn around

"Yes Harry?" She replied, turning around to face him

"I have never said, Thank you for always being there for me and being a great friend. It means a lot to me, your friendship, and Ron's to" He said quitely, with a hint of sadness in his voice.

Hermione did not say anything, instead she just smiled, You know, one of those smiles when you think everything is going to be alright, that somehow everything will sort itself out. But Harry knew everything would not be alright and never will be. Hermione walked out of the room and let harry get some sleep.

The strong smell of over brewed Potion was circiling around the Potions classroom, Making Harry and most of the other people in the room feel sick. Harry looked over to blaise, the Slytherin which Harry had also depised. But something that day had changed, Harry thought the slytherin looked hot with the sweat pouring down his face and his muscles ripping through his school robes. Harry licked his lips, wanting to devour him, sexually.

"Let's have you then"He said, loudly enough for Ron to hear me

"What?" Ron exclaimed

Harry blushed and didn't answer. Just in time the school bell rang to indicate the end of that period. Harry grabbed all of his things and hurried outside the door. He stood oppsite the door to the classroom, waiting for someone to come out and just like that Blaise Zabini walked out, with a small smile on his face.

"I saw you staring at me in there" Harry smiled at him

"Yeah, so what Potter?" Blaise replied

Harry did not answer, instead he grabbed Blaise by the scruff of the neck and pushed him up against the wall. He started to kiss him, with passion. Blaise opened his mouth to let Harry's tounge in, their tounges fighting each other for control. Suddenly the door to the classroom opened and everyone walked out, gasping at what they saw. Hermione pushed her way through the crowd and took ahold of Harry's hand.

"Harry, you don't want this" She whispered in his ear

Harry turned around and walked away from everyone, feeling ashamed with what he had done. He ran up to the viaduct and to the nearest bathroom. When he got there he locked himself into a cubicle and started to sob.

"Cedric, I am so very sorry my angel" He sobbed quitely

Harry could not handle this sort of pain above any of the others so he took out his wand and cut his cheek, the blood running down his face and onto his robes. He did not care if anyone saw this, he would just come up with a lie that he would make everyone believe.

Pleas review this chapter and show this to your friend. Happy Birthday Holly, i hope you like this gurl!