CHAPTER TWO
Averting her gaze, Ino willed the tears at bay as they pricked the backs of her lids. Clutching the sheets on either side of her head, she focused on the wall as Shikamaru continued to thrust into her, silently praying that it would be over soon. Her stomach twisted with disgust at the feel of him inside her, stroking her most sensitive core.
Strangely enough, it hadn't always been like this, she thought. There had been a time where his touch had ignited flames of desire within her, when she had literally counted the moments until she could be with him again, reveling in the sensations that only he had been able to stir within her. Although it hadn't been that long ago, it now felt like ages, Ino thought. What had happened? When had it all changed? She wondered, but had known the answer. It had changed when she had finally decided to accept what she had come to painfully realize was the truth, that Shikamaru hadn't really loved her after all. What was more, she knew he had no intention of accepting responsibility for the child she carried for him. Her lips pressed into a thin line as she restrained a sob in her throat.
Oh, he'd promised and assured, but when his actions had proved otherwise, Ino had decided to take stock of the situation and realize it for what it was. They were two individuals who hadn't shared the same vision after all. This time she didn't bother to prevent the tears as they began to silently slip from the corners of her eyes and gather into the pillow.
She supposed she should applaud his honesty when, upon demanding him to be upfront, he'd finally, heatedly, admitted that he hadn't wanted the baby. It was too much of a bother for him in his life right now, he had said. They were still young, and decided to wait before making big decisions, he had reasoned. Ino had just assumed ownership of her family's florist shop after all, and he'd just made the police force. Things were going so well, why the hell did she feel the need to rush and mess things up now?
Although there had been truth to all Shikamaru had said – yes, they'd just begun to realize their dreams and, yes, they had decided to wait - she couldn't for the life of her help but think that he'd come around; it was their child, after all. They'd dated for the past year and a half. They'd even entertained the possibility of marriage in the future. Sure, talk of having children had never been broached, but they'd been sure of their love for one another, and as they had been in agreement on all the other aspects of their relationship, Ino hadn't seen how this should be any different. That wasn't to say she was naïve. Ino was fully aware of the impact a child would have on their relationship, but she'd been willing to accept her new role as a mother, and she wanted this baby.
Ino fought the urge to sigh with relief when, with a final thrust, Shikamaru climaxed. He slumped heavily atop the slender blonde beneath him, his breathing labored from exertion. He waited until his breath became even before propping himself on one arm at the side of her head. He raked his other hand though his raven hair at the front to peer into the blankness of a pair of tear-filled, sky blue eyes that stared unblinkingly back up at him. Their gazes silently held before he slowly disengaged himself from within her body. He turned to shift into a sitting position on the side of the bed and reached for the pack of cigarettes on the night stand. He lit one and inhaled deeply. His head dipped backward as he exhaled the smoke on a deep sigh.
"I won't change my mind," he stated simply. His gaze remained focused on the cigarette in his hand that rested on his thigh. He heard the sheets rustle behind him as she pulled herself into a sitting position. She raked her hands through her hair that was now damp with perspiration.
"Neither will I mine," she replied simply and got up from the bed. She was oblivious of her nudity as she crossed to the vanity along the wall opposite him.
One side of Shikamaru's mouth twitched as he drew on the cigarette again. He checked the desire that threatened to reignite with him as his eyes languidly raked over her figure which he'd noticed had begun to become curvier as a result of her pregnancy.
It was fact that pregnancy differed from one woman to the next, and some showed earlier than their counterparts. Shikamaru figured that it must have been to Ino's dismay that she should be so unfortunate. Although she was still in her first trimester, she'd already begun to fill out in her hips and thighs. Even her breasts had become fuller and heavier. Shikamaru had always thought Ino a very attractive woman, but had to admit she'd been sexier now than she'd ever been. Ino was always employing some new fad diet or other to maintain her slim figure. Even when he'd stated his preference for curves, she'd persisted in skipping meals as if she hadn't heard him. But it really was all to no avail as far he was concerned, as his stance regarding the pregnancy had remained the same.
His head inclined towards a pair of metal wind chimes that hung in the open window of her bedroom, the soothing and tranquil music they produced as they danced in the gentle breeze in stark contrast to the tension that permeated the air. Shikamaru had purchased them for Ino when they had first started dating a little over a year ago. They were his first gift to her, he reminisced. It had been before he'd made the force, and he'd worked a series of odd jobs to make ends meet. His lids drooped when he recalled how genuinely happy she'd been to receive the simple gift, the way she'd thrown her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly. It was one of the things he'd liked about Ino. She wasn't impressed by material excess and was always pleased with whatever he'd been able to afford to give her. They'd truly been happy, and she was willing to throw it away.
Suddenly angry, he bit a curse as he raked a hand through his hair. Why was she being so goddamned stubborn? Hadn't her decision to have the child affected him, too? Hadn't he any say? He scoffed. Apparently not, he answered himself, the way she was making all the decisions on her own regarding them. Damn it, she was acting like having a baby was no big deal, like deciding to get a fucking puppy! He sighed. He knew she thought him a selfish bastard for not wanting the child and was pricked with a twinge of guilt that she was perhaps right on some level, but she was labeling him the bad guy and that was unfair. Shikamaru reached for the ash tray on the night stand and forcefully stubbed the butt into the bottom of it before returning it.
It bothered him that she hadn't considered his feelings. They'd never even discussed having children, so it wasn't as if he'd said he never wanted any. Had he been afforded the courtesy of being asked, he'd have replied that he just didn't want children now. Hadn't there been plenty of time for that? They really should have talked about this more, Shikamaru thought. It really was all too much to deal with. He sighed deeply as he reached for his clothing and proceeded to dress.
"No doubt you think me the scum of the damned earth right now," he started. His usually low voice was laced with anger as he spoke. Having dressed, he now stood. He lowered his eyes to the ground and reached his hands into his pockets. "But regardless of what you think of me, I am a man and don't run away from my responsibilities."
Ino had been pulling a brush through her hair when her hand paused. She lifted her gaze to Shikamaru's reflection in the mirror. Her eyes narrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means I'll pay whatever I have to, but don't expect any more than that from me," he stated with a shrug. He grabbed his keys and wallet and headed for the bedroom door where he was halted by her voice.
"You mean to tell you would actually have me raise this child alone?" Her tone was astonished as she swiveled round on the stool to face him.
"You make all the decisions, remember?" He then disappeared through the door, closing it behind him just in time to block the figurine that crashed into it.
"You son of a bitch!" Ino screamed. She grabbed another figurine and sent it hurling in the same direction. It crashed into the closed bedroom door like the one before it. Both had been gifts from Shikamaru. She openly gave into the sobs that racked her body as she slid from the stool onto the floor where she knelt, her arms about her middle. "You son of a bitch," she whispered this time, although to no one in the room, and a feeling of utter loneliness enveloped her.
Ino had eventually fallen asleep, having cried herself into a troubled slumber where she lie curled on the floor. When she awoke, it was to find that that breeze had cooled considerably. Early evening descended upon Konoha. The darkness quickly entered the bedroom, reaching into the recesses to chase away the light that had previously resided. Still naked, she crossed to the window and closed it. She hugged her arms against the chill. A glance at the digital clock on her night stand confirmed that it was six o'clock. Ino's head dipped back as she lifted her eyes to the ceiling and mentally calculated the time difference in Amegakure, which was two hours behind Konoha. Still early. Sighing, she returned to her bed and sat where Shikamaru had sat earlier.
A mental image of Nagato formed in her mind as she thought. Her mind began to solidify around a decision that she had only bounced around her mind before, but now felt certain upon acting on. Her hands shook as she picked up her cell phone. She silently prayed for forgiveness as she dialed Nagato's number in Amegakure. When he'd failed to answer, she instead decided to leave a voice message before hanging up. She was a desperate woman but, considering she was as good as abandoned now, decided she had no other choice. Shikamaru had seen to that.
Nothing commanded one's attention like a classroom full of energetic six year olds, Konan decided. She was grateful for her job as an elementary school art teacher as it managed to keep all thoughts of Nagato at bay all that week. Sitting at one of the many plastic, folding tables in the teachers' lounge, Konan slipped her feet from her heeled sandals beneath the table. She sighed with pleasure at the comforting ease of pressure.
It was Friday, and school had ended an hour earlier. She wanted nothing more than to jumpstart her weekend that evening by curling up in a comfy pair of sweats with a good book, a mug of something hot and sweet, and her trusty box of crackers. She really was quite tired of eating them but, as they'd been one of the few things she'd been able to keep down, felt she really had no choice but to bear it patiently. She'd even lost a couple pounds as well, but was assured by her gynecologist that it was all normal, and that the morning sickness could be expected to become more bearable at the onset of her second trimester. Konan scoffed, decided that the term morning sickness was highly misleading as the urge to vomit hadn't thought to confine itself to any particular part of her day where she was concerned. Although it was worse in the mornings, she noticed it often plagued her off and on throughout the day.
Konan reached into her tote on the chair next to her for the pack of crackers she'd packed. She selected one and absently nibbled. She gazed at the stack of collages her students had submitted. She grinned enthusiastically as she lifted them one by one. Because they were completed on large, multi-colored sheets of construction paper that tore easily, she'd instructed her students to choose lightweight materials to complete their assignments such as feathers, leaves, magazine clippings, or anything else of their choosing. It would better preserve their pictures. It went without mentioning it made them easier to carry as Konan decided to take them home to grade over the weekend.
The weekend, she thought, and sighed.
Tomorrow was Saturday, which would make it one week since she'd seen or heard from Nagato, since he'd sat in her living room and sent her world crashing around her when he'd admitted he was seeing someone else. She had told Nagato to give her time and, although he willingly complied, she couldn't help but feel he'd been too willing for her comfort. He hadn't even so much as called, and she'd fought tooth and nail to resist the urge to call him. And what would she have told him had they talked? Was there really anything left for them to discuss?
She was all too aware she still hadn't told Nagato about her pregnancy. Truth be told, she'd been unsure of the wisdom in doing so. Now that she knew he was involved with someone else, the last thing she'd wanted to do was make him feel trapped or obligated to do anything he hadn't wanted to.
She choked against a ball of emotion as she recalled Nagato's words of wanting to continue seeing her. It hurt her vastly to know he was still interested in continuing their casual relationship while seeing another woman. Goodness, is that all she was to him? If so, it would explain his need to tell her about the other woman. Ino, was it? He was merely expressing his desire to explore other options, and was placing the ball in her court if she'd wanted to part of such a liaison. How considerate, she snorted. Although their relationship had never solidified, Konan had always hoped that it would develop into something more. It was the reason why she hadn't opted out and decided to remain patient instead. Perhaps she'd been deluding herself all this time and was merely laboring beneath false impressions. And perhaps, in the end, she really only had herself to blame for the position she was in.
Sighing, she carefully checked her watch. She carefully restacked the collages and returned them to her tote along with her box of crackers. Slipping her feet back into her sandals, she stood and was suddenly overcome by a wave of dizziness. Pressing a hand to her temple, she froze where she stood and closed her eyes against the wooziness that befuddled her mind. She placed one hand on top of the table to steady herself. Goodness, she thought with a small shake of her head when the fuzziness subsided. She decided the quicker she hailed a taxi and got home the better, and made to exit the lounge.
Her heeled sandals clicked loudly as she walked towards the front of the school, the hollow sound echoing through the empty halls. She reached for her cell phone in her tote to call the taxi. As she pushed through the main doors she came to an abrupt halt as there, before her, sat the familiar make of Nagato's car. And leaning against the car was Nagato himself, his arms crossed over his chest, his legs crossed at his ankles. His eyes lifted to her startled ones as she exited.
"Nagato," she acknowledged, surprised, and her deep and husky voice was like music to his ears.
Pushing himself up, he rose to his full height as his eyes raked over her. Having driven Konan to and from the school countless times before, he concluded she was by far the most naturally beautiful of the female teachers he'd seen employed there.
He approved the way the simple cut of the black ao dai flattered Konan's slender figure, the snug bodice of the tunic molding to the contours of her breasts before flaring over the pants that enclosed her long and slender legs. Her cobalt hair had been pulled back and up into a bun. Konan rarely wore makeup when she worked, and he'd preferred her natural look. He ached to reach out and stroke the porcelain softness of her skin. He began to think of other parts of her body he wanted to stroke as well, and silently cursed as his body began to stir with desire against his will.
He wondered if he'd be able to honor his edict he'd hastily constructed on his way over, to be on his best behavior and keep his hands to himself. But no, he decided and strengthened his resolve against his libido. He promised they'd talk or, rather, he'd talk and she'd listen. There was so much he wanted to say, and he wanted her undivided attention. Besides, as far as he was concerned, he'd waited long enough. He'd given her a whole damned week to sort her thoughts, and it was more than sufficient.
"Time's up," he stated simply in the deep baritone of his voice, and Konan watched as he approached her, her heart in her throat.