"Light-kun, what are you doing?"
Light jumped, spinning around and gasping. In one hand he clutched a can of hairspray, in the other an expensive-looking comb. "I-I can explain!"
"Oh, I see," L said smugly, walking forward as Light watched, terrified. "Light-kun does use an excessive amount of hair products. I recall you saying something about your hair being 'naturally beautiful.' Was this a mere fabrication, Light-kun?"
Light stared at the man before him, pondering his options. He could lie, or could deny it, or simply run away. At the moment, he couldn't make this simple decision, despite his impressive IQ and intelligence. "I, uh, it's just that…"
"Yes?"
"I… FUCK YOU!"
Light threw the hairspray directly at the mirror before him in anger, causing it to crack and shatter. The glass fell dramatically to the floor, the sound echoing throughout the small bathroom. Light stomped off, only to slip on a conveniently placed banana peel. He then landed on a huge pile of nails that just so happened to be there, thus beginning his trip to the hospital.
And his seven years of bad luck.
Later that evening, as L relaxed in front of the television, he watched an interesting CNN report about how an ambulance suddenly burst into flames and killed one of the passengers.
Light approached L cautiously. Today he was trying an extremely risky method of getting L's name, and quite honestly, a dumb one. But it was worth the trouble, according to Light.
He tapped his shoulder. L turned around slowly, frowning slightly. "What is it, Light-kun?"
"I just met you," Light began solemnly. "And this is crazy. But here's my number," He handed him a folded sheet of notebook paper. "So call me maybe?"
L laughed. "Very creative, Light-kun. I shall give you my phone number as well. Do you have a pencil or pen I may borrow?"
Light nodded eagerly- almost too eagerly- and handed him a ballpoint pen. L nodded his thanks and opened the sheet of paper, smoothing it out before writing his name and phone number on it. He ripped it out and handed it to Light, who upon receiving it broke out into hysterical laughter.
"You idiot!" He shouted between maniacal laughter. "You just wrote your full name on a sheet of paper from the Death Note!"
L froze. "…What?"
But before Light could reply, L began to choke, falling over in his chair. Light watched, still laughing crazily, as he twitched rapidly on the ground before stilling.
"Yes," Light muttered, turning away from L's presumably dead body. "Kira wins. Kira always wins."
He stalked away, slamming the headquarter doors shut behind him. L sighed, sitting up and resuming his position on the char.
And that is how a week of acting lessons saved the world's 3 greatest detectives' lives.
A/N: I need to stop writing these.