CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Three months later, Konan awoke early in the morning with a start, her eyes still closed and gasping aloud into the stillness of the bedroom. Rain sounded against the glass wall on the opposite side of the room. She lifted her arms overhead and stretched the full length of her body, savoring the feel of the cool sheets against her skin. Turning her head to the side, she slowly opened her eyes to gaze at Nagato's sleeping figure next to her. She was careful not to rouse him as she eased herself into a sitting position and gingerly adjusted the sheet around her naked form. She drew her knees up and tightly wrapped her arms around them as she turned her gaze in the opposite direction to the overcast sky outside.

The dream she'd had last night was more like a nightmare, and it had been the same one she'd had numerous nights before. She dreamed Ino's baby had been confirmed as Nagato's after all, and that he had eventually left her to settle with the florist in Konoha. It was silly she knew, now that she was awake, but it had been disturbing all the same. She sighed as she raked a hand through her hair. How long was she going to keep having this same dream? Though Ino no longer posed a threat to her relationship with Nagato, Konan wondered if she would ever realize a day when she would truly be free of her, when the florist no longer afflicted her by haunting her thoughts and dreams.

She started at the feel of Nagato's strong male arm encircling her waist. "You're up," he stated drowsily.

"Yeah," she sighed, "guess I just couldn't sleep is all."

Nagato instantly sat up in the bed next to her. His hand immediately reached out to gently settle on her swollen abdomen. "Are you feeling okay?"

Konan's smile was soft as she welcomed the gentle ministrations of Nagato's hand upon her belly. "We're fine," she assured huskily. They were still unaware of the baby's sex. She was in her sixth month and though it was right around the time the sex of the baby could be determined, she and Nagato both decided against it, preferring to be surprised instead. They would be happy with whatever they had. "It's just…" She sighed as her voice trailed away.

Nagato knew she'd had another nightmare. The abrupt manners in which she awoke the past few nights, pitching back into consciousness with an audible gasp or some other exclamation, was indicative of the unpleasant visions that assailed her when she slept. They nightmares had started to become a regular occurrence, and he knew Ino was the source of them.

"You dreamed about her again," he stated. When Konan didn't respond, he gently urged her back down on the bed with him where she stretched alongside him and settled her cheek against his chest.

"I'm sorry," Konan replied. "I really don't mean to be so melodramatic." She sighed again. "Will it ever stop?"

The feathery soft feel of her breath against his skin as she spoke was oddly stimulating to Nagato, and he fought the urge to claim her again, to bury himself within her as he made love to her in the early misty morn. He marveled that the affect she had on was so intense. His gaze angled down at her and watched as she shook her head and pressed her lids closed.

His hand reached to bury deep within her hair. It pleased him that she allowed it to grow longer as he enjoyed the silky feel of the tresses through his fingers. "I suppose so, as soon as you realize you never had a reason to feel threatened by her in the first place," he responded honestly, because even if Ino's baby had turned out to be his, and both their worlds were turned upside down, it wouldn't have mattered. He would still have chosen Konan. It would always be Konan.

Konan gave a small smile. "I suppose you're going to tell me she never crosses your mind? That you never think of her at all?" And for reasons she couldn't understand, her breath caught in her throat as she awaited his response. And so what if he thought of her? Surely it was expected. After all, Ino presented such a major upheaval in their lives that even Konan herself couldn't stop dreaming about the damned woman, so what more Nagato, who had actually shared a night of passion with her?

Nagato's eyes narrowed as they regarded Konan with a serious glint. "No, she doesn't, no, I don't, and neither should you," he answered honestly in a tone laced with finality, as if he hadn't wanted to continue the conversation.

A corner of Konan's mouth lifted in a wry smile. She rose up and leaned to press a kiss on Nagato's lips. "I'm going to make some coffee," she announced softly and turned to ease from the bed.

Nagato silently followed her with his gaze as she slipped on one of his sweatshirts that fit too large for her slender frame despite her pregnant belly. She absently rolled up the sleeves before exiting the bedroom. It had been three months since the ordeal with Ino, but even if it had been three decades, he knew he'd never completely forget it so long as he lived. That wasn't to say he lied to Konan because he quite simply didn't think of Ino, didn't dwell on her. Now, had the situation concluded differently and Ino's baby had been his, he'd have felt differently. But seeing as how that thankfully wasn't the case, he was content to carry on with his life with Konan, and their family, as if Ino had never happened. It really was that easy for him, and the fact that it apparently wasn't as easy for her bothered him. So what was wrong now that she behaved so apprehensively?

An exasperated sigh tore from Nagato's lips as he rose. Reaching for a pair of jeans, he slipped them on over his nakedness and zipped them as he stood. He was unmindful of the way his jeans hung low on his slender hips as he strode from the bedroom, wincing slightly at the discomfort he still felt in his leg, which really hadn't existed at all. What had his physician called it? Phantom pain, he remembered, which was a term used to describe pain or a sensation that was sub-consciously felt in the absence of a limb or in the portion of a limb. He mentally shrugged off that bit of information as he was just grateful that ordeal had been over with. He could still remember the accident he had on his bike as if it had been yesterday, when he'd broken his ribs, his arm, and his leg. Though his ribs and arm had healed in a couple months, the femur he broke in his leg had been a clean break and therefore was completely healed in a few months' time.

He stopped in the entryway of the kitchen and leaned against the frame as he continued to follow Konan with his eyes as she set about brewing a pot of coffee. He watched as she selected two mugs and set them next to the coffee pot along with the container of sugar cubes and cream that she selected from the fridge. She then paused and it was as if she was searching for something else with which to occupy her hands when she began to drum her fingers on the granite countertop.

A corner of Nagato's mouth lifted as he fought to suppress a grin, for he was well acquainted with Konan and harbored the ability to read her moves. The way she overemphasized the basic task with more attention than was due was familiar and catapulted him back to that fateful morning that seemed like ages ago now, when he first went by Konan's apartment to tell her about Ino. He remembered she had behaved in the same manner then when she had prepared tea, and knew that she was either angry or worried.

Nagato pushed himself away from the frame and came to stand behind Konan. His arms reached around her and pull her back snugly against his chest. "I suppose you're not going to tell me what this is all about?" His eyes drifted closed as he pressed his nose against her hair and deeply inhaled the scent of her shampoo. He then rested his chin on top of her head. "You should know by now you can ask me anything," he reminded. They had been through enough the past few months to ever feel uncomfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings to one another.

Konan wondered as she fidgeted with a paper coffee filter. There was one question she had always burned to know the answer to, but had never felt very comfortable asking. Rather, she hadn't felt very confident in herself and what Nagato felt for her to ask. But things were different now, weren't they? They were committed to one another, living together, and expecting their first child.

"I understand that Ino was a one-time occurrence," she started, her voice low and husky. "But ever since then, I was always curious as to whether or not there were others."

"Others?" Nagato repeated questioningly.

"Lovers." She knew it was probably too late in the game for her to harbor such worries, especially at this point in their relationship, but she worried if she never asked, she would never be able to put her fears to rest.

Nagato released his arms from around Konan's middle. He placed his hands on her shoulders and slowly turned her around to face him. He redirected her gaze with a finger of one hand beneath her chin when she failed to make eye contact with him. His other hand reached to stroke her hair. He understood that she still had some insecurities in light of the nature of their relationship and all that had taken place over that time, but he was a patient man and would take as long as necessary to help to ease her anxieties.

"Is that what this is all about?" One brow arched as his eyes scanned her face. She was curious as to how many other women he dated while seeing her? He watched as she lowered her lids and a light crimson suffused beneath the surface of her skin.

Konan sighed. "We dated for a while, and seeing as how our relationship was open, I just figured…"

"Well, you figured wrong," he stated. "Konan, I assure you there was never anyone else, "not even before Ino." He smiled wryly when Konan's eyes widened in surprise. His hand slipped from her hair and lowered to gently cup the side of her face as his thumb smoothed over the soft skin of her cheek. "I was just scared." He read the lingering, unanswered questions in her eyes and decided to elaborate.

"You remember it was after Yahiko passed that we began spending more time together," he began, and waited until Konan nodded before he continued. "Being with you was like still having him around, and that meant so much to me. It helped ease the pain I felt at his passing. I'm sure it was the same for you, too," he concluded and Konan answered with a small smile. "I kept trying to convince myself that I wasn't falling in love with you despite the fact that I already had, and hard." He scoffed aloud. "I know now that I always loved you, but at the time with the three of us together, it was easier to just brush it off just a brotherly love." His eyes hooded and his voice was husky when he spoke next. "And that night in the tower, when we made love for the first time, I knew it then. There was no denying I was deeply and madly in love with you, and it scared the hell out of me. Understand that there was so much loss in my life then, with my family and then Yahiko…"

"But you managed despite it all," Konan interjected. "I admired that about you," she confessed, "your strength."

Nagato smiled. "If I seemed strong, understand it was only because I had you by my side to lean on." He reached to smooth back a tendril of her hair. "You have no idea how much I had come to rely on you for that, and I didn't want to lose you, too."

"But I was never going anywhere," Konan assured as she blinked slowly, her gray eyes suddenly bright with unshed tears. She had remembered that night Nagato spoke of, and would always treasure it. It was in this very tower that it had happened, back when it was just the abandoned stomping ground she, Nagato, and Yahiko used to frequent. They were teens then, and that night would undoubtedly remain a very special one to her. It touched her heart to hear him confess the feelings he'd had for her even then. And to think, all this time she thought their lovemaking had meant nothing to him, hadn't affected him, that she hadn't affected him, and that he'd perhaps had other lovers with whom to satiate his appetite. And all this time, she had been wrong, and too lacking in self-confidence to ever approach him with how she felt for fear, but fear of what? What he might say, how he would react, of losing him. He hadn't been seeing anyone else after all, and sex with Ino really had been a foolishly failed attempt on his part to eradicate what he couldn't, which was his love for her.

"Konan, what's wrong?" Nagato asked. "Konan…?"

"I'm fine, I-I'm just…happy?" She chuckled in the velvety huskiness that he loved. She sobered as a thought occurred to her. "Isn't it amazing how much time we waste?"

Nagato's brows arched knowingly, for hadn't he thought the same thing? It further proved what he already knew, that Konan was undoubtedly the only woman for him. She gasped when Nagato reached past her to switch off the coffee pot, and then turned to carefully lift her bridal style in his arms and proceeded back to the bedroom.

"Nagato, what are you doing," Konan protested. "What about the coffee?"

"Don't want it," was his only reply as he silenced her with a deep kiss.

Nagato sat Konan on the side of the bed. She lifted her arms as Nagato slipped his sweatshirt she wore over her head and casually tossed it aside. He was oblivious of the dawn as it unfolded beyond the glass, the light of the obscured sun penetrating the storm clouds to render the sky into various, hazy shades of grey. Rather, his attention was commanded by the tableau of beauty Konan presented as she laid back on the bed. He spread her legs and rose on his knees in between them, and his breath caught in his throat.

Konan flushed beneath the intense pressure of Nagato's stare. Though she'd been nude before him more times than she could count, she still managed to become shy.

Nagato's lips narrowed as his lips spread into a smile. "You are so beautiful," he said. He sighed as his heart began to beat at a rapid staccato.

"Despite being pregnant," Konan retorted. She'd felt self-conscious about her weight gain contrary to Nagato's reassurances that she was beautiful, and now was no exception.

Nagato shook his head. "Even more so because of it," he corrected as he gently leaned over her, bracing himself on his arms on either side of her head. He dipped his head as his tongue snaked out to trace the outline of her lower lip, seeking entry. She then parted her lips and allowed him entry. He moaned aloud as his tongue delved deeply within, exploring the inner recesses of her mouth.

In his mind, Nagato thought of hindsight, and how it wasn't coined 20-20 vision for nothing. But oh the lessons one could learn from it! And what lesson had he learned? He decided he learned the importance of time, and had come to regard it for the precious commodity that it was. It was neither reproduced nor regenerated, and once wasted could never be regained. He couldn't help but think that he'd wasted enough time as it was by failing to acknowledge the love he felt for Konan. And perhaps had he acknowledged it and conveyed it to her, shown it to her, all that had transpired would never have happened in the first place. But all that was truly in the past now, and he had every intention of making up for it.

His passion began to climb higher at the ministrations of her hands, and his breathing became labored. Yes, he'd make for all the lost time…starting now.

The End