Disclaimer- I don't own Negima.

I wrote this one some time ago and waited to post it becuase I want...I don't really know. XP

Anyway, I hope you enjoy! :)

"Soooooooooooo..." said Konoka, drawing out every syllable.

"What?" snapped Chisame irritably.

"Got any ideas?" muttered Asuna. Living in all-girl dorms like they did, menstrual cycles were locked on sync, and all three girls were suffering.

"Yes," beamed Al, the picture of sunshine while they grouched. "You seemed to like the last Evangeline story, so how about another?"

"Yeah..."

"Sure..."

"Pink Pineapple..."

They all looked at Chisame. She half-shrugged, not even putting the effort in to do it completely. "It's a anime porn company."

"What about it?"

"Nothing. I was just thinking out loud."

Al clapped his hands in a facsimile of Konoka's usual happiness, and she gave him a rare glare.

"Off we go then! It was the seventeenth century, and I was in a bit of a slump due to the usual pressing issues that bother me, like whether or not I'm ever going to die and if I do whether or not I'm going to go to hell, since I've lived longer and accumulated more sins...the usual. I was sleeping on an unused part of the road when Evangeline found me and decided to make me aware of her presence in her usual charming way..."

Al was abruptly forced out of his deep sleep by large bit of flesh repeatedly hitting him in the face. If he wasn't mistaken, it felt like a foot. It hurt. It hurt a lot, but Al wasn't sure if it was enough to make him want to move.

"Get up, you lazy pervert!" shrieked a shrill voice in his ear.

He grumbled something in Arabic and then realized he was in Europe. For some reason he found this very amusing indeed and groggily giggled his delight. He was awarded with a kick.

"Oh, shut up," he slurred, his mouth not quite working properly. "Go away. Don' wanna buy anything."

"Are you...drunk?"

Al waved a hand dismissively. "Tha's what they all say."

"You are drunk!" gasped the annoying blonde standing over him. "You're such a hypocrite."

Al let out a noise that was neither an affirmative or a negative. It wasn't really much of a sound at all, just a jumbled mishmash of syllables put together to express his annoyance.

He was blessed with yet another kick.

"Hey," said Eva, for of course it was she. "What happened to your face?" He assumed she was referring to the thick burn scars on the left side of his face, which were just starting to fade away.

"Hakuna matata." mumbled Al sleepily.

"Excuse me?"

"You're not a very smart African."

"I'm going to murder you." said Eva blandly, and this statement woke Al up a little bit.

"Really? Cool. I was burned at the stake jut a few years ago. What fun, what fun..."

"You have issues."

"Who doesn't?"

Eva grabbed him by the filthy shirt he was wearing. "Look, I want a power up, so I need you to get undrunk and normal in about five seconds."

Al winked blearily. "I know where I can get in five seconds."

He would never regret an innuendo, no matter the pain it caused him in the long run.

He was forcibly dragged down the street, his face getting a fill of dirt and rocks and the natural grime of the ground. Eva wasn't gentle about it, and he could feel streaks of blood dripping down his face as she dragged him. It was slowly pulling him out of his stupor, although if he wasn't immortal he would've died of alcohol poisoning weeks ago.

She dumped him unceremoniously in a large forest clearing and pointed to the ground. "Teach me gravity magic."

"Don' wanna."

"You son of a bitch!" she growled, kicking him roughly. "Get up, you ass."

"Wan' be drunk."

"I'll buy you beer if you fight me."

"I have money."

She kicked him so hard that he heard a rib crack. "You pitiful excuse for a mage, get up."

He waved at hand at her blearily, and she promptly reached over and snapped his wrist. He cradled it to his chest and writhed on the ground a little.

"Is that an incentive?"

He muttered a spell at lazily blasted it at her, and she easily dodged it. "What is your fucking problem?" she growled.

"Swearin' ain't becoming of a lady..."

He was rewarded with another rib-cracking kick.

She eventually got him to fight her through extortion and threats, and he half-heartedly shot gravity balls and other magic at her, wishing she would just leave him alone.

"Fight me like a man!" she roared.

He rubbed the scars on his face tiredly and mumbled incoherently.

She managed to completely immobilize him through his inattentiveness and apathy, and she approached him gleefully on as he lay there on the ground, wishing he the sky would suddenly open and pour out whiskey.

"Why won't you fight me?"

Her voice was cracked and upset, and he propped his head up on the ground, spitting out a little blood. "Kitty?"

"Am I not good enough to warrant a real fight?" she sobbed.

If she wasn't the size of a ten year old he would have assumed she was on her period, because he was currently wallowing in misery, bleeding out of at least three of his orifices and had most of his ribs cracked or broken. If she wasn't strong he didn't know what strong was.

"What?" rasped Al.

"WHY WON'T YOU FIGHT ME?" She blasted two hundred volts of magical lightning into him, and his blacked out for at least a minute. When he resurfaced, she was still crying.

"Eva..." he croaked.

"WHAT?"

"It's not you...I'm just..."

"WHAT?"

"I'm just drunk...it has nothing to do with you."

Eva's expression softened. "You're an idiot."

He smiled in response, and she kicked him softly, her version of affection. Al was glad to see that she had stopped crying, and worried about her whiplash of emotions. That couldn't be healthy.

Suddenly she was helping him up, which was nice, but he staggered around and fell over.

"Oh.." she said, realizing that she had beaten him soundly. "Are you gonna die?"

"No...I'm still drunk."

She rolled her eyes and he slumped over her shoulder.

"You smell nasty."

"Thank you."

"Your breath is bad too."

"How sweet."

"I'll take you to this shop I know. They have a liqueur that makes your breath smell good."

"You're a softie, Ev-"

She pressed his face into the grass, and his bones screamed in protest.

"You were saying?"

"...Ow."

She started bandaging his wounds and commented, "I did a good job on your face. You look like a ripe melon."

"That's a nice thought," he mumbled. His mouth felt thick and swollen, and he pressed it gingerly. "You're very strong."

"Then why wouldn't you teach me your magic?"

"You're more than capable of developing your own. You're much more powerful than I am. You can learn things on your own, while I had to depend on others to teach me. It took me hundreds of years to reach where you are now." His mouth hurt, and he wished he hadn't said so much.

"Oh. I thought it was 'cause you were drunk."

"That was mostly it."

"Jerk."

She started to lift the dirty shirt off of Al but gave up and ripped it off to bandage his ribs. "When was the last time you bathed?"

"Dunno."

"You used to be more eloquent."

"I suppose I was. But how can I be eloquent in the face of such magnanimous pain?"

"Shut up."

"You know you love me."

Evangeline was silent, and Al swallowed painfully. Had he said something wrong? He didn't usually worry about what he said, but grudges could last a long time between immortals.

"Only a little."

She never did explain what she meant by that.

"You're an idiot," sighed Asuna. "A big fat idiot. Trust me, it takes one to know one."

Chisame nodded, her arms crossed. "You have issues. No wonder she hates you so much, you didn't take the bait. You're not much of a man."

"If I had feeling's they'd be hurt," he replied. "What do you mean?"

"She liked you!" exclaimed Konoka.

"You think so?" he asked, taken aback. "I thought she was joking."

"Idiot..." repeated Asuna doggedly.

"Were you really drunk?" asked Konoka.

"Very," shrugged Al. "It wasn't my best century."

"She liked you even though you were a hopeless drunk," moaned Chisame. "Hopeless, hopeless, hopeless...you deserve every punch she throws at you...and don't get drunk, it's gross. I thought you'd know better."

"That was 500 years ago. I'm not like that anymore."

"Why'd you tell us that story?" wondered Asuna.

Konoka smiled. "It was to ask us what she meant, wasn't it? You didn't know, so you had to ask, but you couldn't just do that, so this was your way?"

Al sipped his tea, embarrassed to admit that she was right.

"Loser," grumbled Chisame. "It took you 500 years to find someone to ask?"

"Romance moves slower at an immortal level," deduced Konoka correctly. "But what about Nagi? I thought Eva loved him."

"Exactly," replied Al. "So I figured it meant we were friends."

"Nagi wasn't even alive 500 years ago," protested Chisame. "In that time she probably got over you and moved on. But Nagi will die eventually, and then you can make your move."

"He hasn't said he wants to make his move!" argued Asuna. "He didn't say he liked her in the first place."

"It's obvious! He acts like a kindergartner around her!" retorted Chisame.

"I think it's mutual," added Konoka. "But Albireo-han will never take it seriously enough for anything to happen."

As Albireo watched them argue over his love life he had only one thought.

He wanted a drink.

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