Just a short chapter...

After snapping out of her thoughts of the three cheerios in bikinis, Rachel made her way to the garage to tell the boys that they were going to tan and to have Noah take Blaine to get his swim trunks.

"Hey you two." Rachel calls walking into the garage.

"Hey Rach, These bikes are awesome!" Noah exclaims from the grey BMW K 1300 S.

"Glad you like them. I take it you really like that one?" Rachel ask with a smile.

"Hell yeah!" Noah yells.

"Well, you can ride it tomorrow." Rachel tells him, smiling and giggle when he smiles and does a little happy dance.

"I think you made his day sis." Blaine laughs.

"I think so. Anyways, I came to tell you both that me and girls are going to go tanning by the pool. Also, I was wondering if you could take Blaine to get his trunks, Noah?"

"Yeah sure, Rach." Noah nods as he gets off the bike. "You ready, bro?"

"Yep, see you in a few sis." Blaine says following Noah out of the garage.

"Be careful." Rachel calls after them.

"I always am, Bro." Noah yells back before starting up is truck. Pulling out of the driveway Noah honked the horn like a crazy person.

Rachel chuckled at the Mohawk boy's antics as she walked back into the house. When she reached the main foyer she heard giggling and screams coming from the backyard. The thought of the unholy trinity having fun brought a smile to her face.

"S! Put the water gun down!" Rachel hears Quinn yell. She can picture Santana holding the water gun with that devious smirk of her as she chases Quinn around the pool. Letting out a tiny laugh, Rachel makes her way upstairs to find her bikini.

Rachel's POV

After putting on my dark green bikini I look into the full body mirror to see the thin jagged looking scar on my right hip from the first time I ever cut. I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was the day that I not only got slushed, but humiliated by a slushie bath.

Waking up that morning I decided to wear my favorite pair of AE destroyed denim midi shorts with a navy blue vintage crop tank and flip flops since it was pretty warm outside. I also wore my hair down and curled. I felt good about myself for once as I looked into my vanity mirror. Today was going to be a good day or so I thought.

After I got to school and got my books from my locker, that's when I started to notice the looks from all the guys. Some would just give me a small smile, but others were leering at me. It made me feel a little uneasy. Trying to shake it off I went to my first class only to be stopped by Finn Hudson.

"Wow, you look hot." Finn says looking me up and down. I blushed and whispered a thank you trying to get by him. "Wait I was wondering if you wanted to get together tonight and you know hang out and stuff."

"Umm-" I started to say only to be cut off by two cheerios.

"You actually don't look like a freak today, Man-hands." The redhead cheerio sneered knocking my books from my hands. " It doesn't matter though because your still a freak and always will be."

"Loser." the other cheerio laughs as she grabs Finn's arm and drag him away. Sighing I pick my books up and continue my way to first period.

The rest of the morning went smoothly and I actually felt like I was finally going to get through a day without a slushie facial. I should have known it was just wishful thinking.

After lunch is when it happened. I just got my books from my lockers and was making my way to the library to study during my free period. Turning the corner I was faced with four hockey jerks holding big gulp cups with smirks on their faces. I stare at them with wide eyes before I turn around to go a different way, only to find that the two cheerio from this morning and five football players standing there holding slushies too.

"Where do you think your going Man-hands?" The redheaded cheerio laughs. I just shake my head and close my eyes and wait, because there is no way out. I hear one of the hockey players player start to count to three.

"One."

"Two." Everyone gathered in the hall started to count too.

"Three." Everyone chorused together.

That's when I felt the cold ice hit me from all different directions. The coldness was overwhelming, it took my breath away for a few seconds. I could feel the icy liquid running down my face, arms, tank top front and back, and my legs.

"That's a good look for you freak." one of the hockey player says as everyone in the hallway laughs at me.

I reach up and wipe my eyes before I look up. Everyone was pointing and laughing. I turn to my left to see Kurt and Mercedes filming it on their cell phones as they laugh, Tina was beside Artie, Noah, and Mike all them had sad looks on their but made no move to help me. Choking back a sob I slowly made my way through the crowd.

"Aww, I think we hurt her feelings." I hear the redheaded cheerio say from behind me.

I just shake my head and still try to push my way through the crowd. The slushies were starting to feel sticky on my skin and my eyes were starting to burn. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to drive home until I got the slushie out of my eyes, but at that point I didn't really care. I just wanted out of there and away from them all. No matter how much I tried to fit in I just couldn't. Not even the other Glee kids had to go through what I went through on a daily basis. Sure they got slushied and teased but they never got slammed into lockers, books knocked from their hands and kicked down the hall, or even their lunches ruined. Everybody in this damn school was out to get me and I have no idea why.

Finally making it through the crowd and to the west wing bathroom. Throwing my books and bag across the room, I let out scream. Walking over to sink I quickly grabbed some paper towel and wetted them to clean my face. I didn't even notice anyone enter the bathroom until I looked through the mirror to see the unholy trinity staring at me. I stop wiping my face and look at them waiting for them to say something, but they never do. Huffing I finishing cleaning my face before I walk over and grab my bag and books to leave. I try to walk a past the three cheerio only to be stopped by a hand on my forearm. Looking up I see Santana looking at me with unreadable eyes.

"Don't wear stuff like this again, man-hands." She says lowly before she lets go of my arms and walks out of the bathroom with Quinn and Brittany trailing her.

What the hell? Why do they care what I wear? If memory serves me right Santana was always telling me that I should stop dressing like a toddler or something. You would think she would like this look. Taking a deep breath I continue on my way to my car not caring about getting my seat cover wet, I throw my books and bag in the passenger seat, before I take off out of the school lot.

Driving home all I could think about was Santana and the look on her face. It was a look I've only ever seen her give once before and that was on the day she threw her first and last slushie in my face. I could have swore it was a look of regret, but why would she regret it? She's the one who decided I was a freak with out reason. She started all the slushie facials, while Quinn started all the hurtful names. Shaking my head at thought of them regretting how they treat me, because it was nothing but wishful thinking, I park my car in my driveway.

Leaving my books and bag in the car I go inside, checking the answering machine to see if my fathers left a message. Of course there isn't one. I make slowly make my way upstairs. My whole body felt weak. My head throbbing and I felt sick to my stomach as I thought about what just happened at school. I wanted nothing more then to disappear and never return to that school, but I couldn't do that. I couldn't let them win. That's what they wanted. They all wanted to see me fail. To see me break. Well, I was going to let them have the satisfaction of seeing it.

Entering my bathroom I stripped my clothes off and throw them in a pile by door so I could throw them away later. They're ruined, so no point in keeping them. I hop in the shower letting the warm water wash away all the sticky liquid from my body. Looking down I slightly laughed at the colored water that ran down the drain. It looked like a clown threw up or something. Shaking my head at my own stupid thoughts, I washed my hair and body until I was clean.

My thoughts drifted to everything that has happened today and about my father's. I just feel so alone all the time. I just wished I had someone to talk to. Someone that cared, but I don't and I don't think I ever will. I let out a tiny sob as I reach and turn the water off, knocking of my razor in the process. Picking it up I nicked the tip of my finger. My first thought was to wash the blood away until I saw the crimson fluid running down my finger. It was weird for some reason seeing the little bit of blood made me feel better. It made me feel in control for once, because I knew it was my body and I put that cut on my finger even if I didn't mean to. That's when I got the idea of cutting.

Stepping out of the shower and drying off I grabbed the razor and broke it, taking one of the small razors I slowly slide it across my right hip. Blood started to make it way out of the cut and it felt like the world was lifted from my shoulder. The pain and hurt disappeared. When I was done I washed the blade and put it away for later use, before I started to hum and wipe the blood from hip. It was the first time in a long I felt better. It was the start of my secret. My way to feel free and in control.

Santana's POV

"Rachie has been gone a long time." Brittany says looking back at the house.

"Maybe, we should go check on her." Quinn says as she puts on sun tan lotion.

"I'll go check on her." I tell them walking towards the house.

Entering the kitchen I heard a loud crash followed by a scream. It made my blood run cold. Taking off I sprinted up the stairs. God I hope she's okay. Please, let her be okay. Rushing into her room I could hear Rachel crying from the bathroom. Taking a deep breath I walk slowly over to the closed door, pushing it open. The sight I saw instantly made tears form in my eyes. There sat Rachel curled up in a tiny ball, surrounded by shards of glass from her bathroom mirror.

"Baby girl." I call out softly as I slowly make my way to her, making sure to be careful of the glass. When I reach her I bend down and pick her up carrying her out of the bathroom. She clings to my shirt mumbling "to make it stop" over and over again.

"What was doing?" I ask her gently as I place her on the bed, brushing her hair away from her face.

"I-I don't know." She cries out trying to move away from me.

"Calm down, Rach. Please." I say trying to pull her to me. She keeps pushing me and tries to get away from me. "Tiny, please."

"You can't help me not when you're the one who caused this!" Rachel yells pushing my shoulders harder. " You're the one who order that slushie bath!"

"Tiny-" I get cut off by her screaming at me telling me it's my fault, while hits me in the chest over and over and I just let her.

"You might as well gave me the damn razor." She say quietly as she stops hitting my chest and looks up at me with so much hate in her eyes. It made me gasp and my heartbreak. I let out a sob realizing that the first time she ever cut was the day I had that slushie bath order. I caused her to cut. I was the reason she thought cutting was the answering. Me and my stupid jealous issues, caused her so much pain and hurt. Pain and hurt that I can't fix.

"Leave." Rachel whispers looking into my eyes. "Just go."

"Baby girl-"

"I'm not your baby girl! I don't want you, Quinn, or Brittany here anymore so just leave."

"No." I whisper shaking my head. "I love you, Rachel and I'm not going anywhere."

"You don't love me!"

"I do!" I reach up and cup her face letting the tears fall freely from my eyes. "I do love you. I really do. I know I've hurt and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for ordering that slushie bath. I was just so jealous that I wasn't thinking straight. I'm so sorry."

She looks up into my eyes slightly shaking her head before looking away from me. My heart dropped, because I'm pretty sure I just lost her. I lost her before I even got a chance to have her. I let out a small sob stilling cupping her face I lean in and kiss her cheek gently, before I let go. I can't fix this. I officially ruined everything. I move to get up only to have her pull me back.

"I should hate you. I should kick you out of my house and never speak to you again, but I can't. I can't picture myself without you, Quinn, or Brittany. What are you doing to me?" She asks softly. She pulls me into a hug and hold on to me tightly. " Why do I have to love you three so much?"

I hug her back holding her close as if she's going to disappear. I kiss her head over and over. I'm so afraid I'm going lose her. I don't think I've ever been this scared in my whole entire life. The moment she told me to leave made my heart ache and made me feel so sick.

"I love you, baby girl. I'm so sorry." I whisper against her forehead.

"I know." She looks up at me and cups my cheek. "I love you too, Tana."

She smiles at me before she leans in and places a soft kiss on my lips. It wasn't nothing more then lips touching each other, but it was perfect. When she pulls back she smiles at me again and giggles. She's so perfect. With her, Britt, and Quinn by side I know everything will be okay and we will get through anything. Together. Just like it should have been from the beginning.