Chapter 19

Everything feels swirly, I have not moved, but if anyone asked me, I'd swear to it that I was floating. I'm completely unaware of anything around me. I stand here, my fingertips pressed to my lips, lost in the dreaminess that comes with a first kiss. He's kissed me. Gale had whispered goodnight and then just leaned in and kissed me. And then he just turned and walked away. Hadn't said another word to me. Hadn't waited for a response to his kiss. I'm stunned and thrilled at the same time. I want to stand here and savor this moment and I want to run after him and kiss him again. I've never known such bliss as I feel in this moment.

After what feels like a wonderful forever, I finally pull myself together enough to go inside my house. Up in my bedroom I go through the motions of getting ready for bed. Wash my face, brush my teeth, put on a nightgown. I crawl under the covers and close my eyes, intent on daydreaming more about my kiss. More about Gale. More about what this could possibly mean. But my thoughts are no match for two nights of little to no sleep and I soon drift off.

I awake the next morning and I'm completely still in my blissful state. Even getting dressed which usually isn't fun seems more exciting. I spend way more time than I usually do trying to decide what I want to wear. I want to make sure I look beautiful today. As beautiful as Gale's kiss has made me feel. I finally decide, after trying on multiple dresses, to wear a short peach colored dress. It's not my usual style. Shorter than I would normally wear, that's for sure. But the bright peachy color looks amazing on me. The coordinating shoes are simple pearlescent ballet flats and match perfectly with the accompanying small purse. There isn't a necklace for this outfit, which is unusual for what my buyer normally selects, but it does have little pearl earrings. Years ago when some of the Capitol officials were visiting, one of the stylists had decided I needed my ears pierced. She'd insisted all the girls in the Capitol wore earrings and that as daughter of the Mayor, I should be no different. I was nine or ten at the time and it had hurt quite a bit but I didn't let myself cry. Didn't let myself show any fear or pain. Even at that young age I knew I had to keep up the illusion. To always seem Pro-Capitol at all times, on any subject, even something as stupid as earrings. I secretly hated it. To me it was just one more thing that made me stand out as different. One more thing that separated me from other kids my age in District 12. Eventually, after I'd done it, a few other merchant girls had pierced their ears but it was still far and few between. Normally I didn't love earrings but I'd always been fond of these tiny pearl ones. They were simple but elegant. After getting dressed I'd lightly added some blush to my cheeks and gloss to my lips. I let my wavy hair hang down instead of pulling it up in it's usual ponytail. Giving myself a final last look in the mirror, I decide I look as great as I feel and head down for breakfast.

"Morning Miss Madge. I was wondering when you'd be down for your breakfast. I was getting worried you weren't feeling well again. Everything okay?" Mabel asks as I float into the kitchen.

"Good morning! And yes, everything's great, just great!" I say cheerfully as I pull out a chair and sit down for my breakfast.

'Glad to hear it. I suppose you're excited about your friend being off to such a great start in the Games?" She asks as she places a bowl of mixed fruit and a glass of juice in front of me.

"Yes, I am very excited for Katniss. If this continues and she does well in the interviews this evening then she should be able to secure quite a few sponsors. It would be very much in her favor to do so." I say. I decide not to tell Mabel about the kiss. Truthfully I am dying, practically bursting to tell her about it but since I don't yet know what, if anything, it means I hold back for now.

"She looks good, seems strong. I am sure she'll hold her own in the Games."

"I certainly hope so." I say as I swallow a some fruit. I'm too anxious, too excited too eat much. All I want to do is get to school and find Gale. I have to see him, have to find out what that kiss meant.

"Thank you for breakfast. I need to get to school now, see you this afternoon." I tell Mabel as I grab my book bag and rush out the door.

I walk over to the school as quickly as I can without running. I'm not sure where to find Gale once I arrive at school. He's a grade ahead of me so I only see him during lunch usually. And because until just recently we've never really spoken to one another I am clueless as to what classes he has. I wander up and down the hallways, eyes peeled for him.

I fail to find him before my first class starts. The same thing happens before my second and third class. As I sit through my third class the time is ticking away painfully slow. My mind refuses to focus on the work before me which is unfortunate since I'm a day behind after yesterday's absence. I get lost in my daydreams about Gale and when the bell sounds pulling me from my thoughts I notice I've doodled a row of trees across the bottom of the paper I'd intended to take lecture notes on. I smile and lightly trace my fingertips over the trees.

It's lunchtime now. Time for me to finally find Gale. All the upper grades share the same lunch so I know he will be there. As I walk into the cafeteria, I look around, eyes searching the crowd for the only other eyes I want to see at the moment. Gale's eyes. My heart falls a little when I once again fail to find him. Where is he? I wonder as I lower myself into a chair at my usual table. I pull out the lunch Mabel packed for me and let my hands fidget with the stem of my apple, not bothering to eat anything. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe the kiss was just his way of thanking me for helping him with Rory. Of course that's what it was. If it had been anything else I'm sure he would've tried to find me today. He would have sought me out. It had to have been just an act of sheer gratefulness for my help that day. It would be foolish of me to think it meant anything more. I feel even more deflated now and I'm sure it's showing on my face. I keep looking down at the food in front of me while I mentally try to clear any trace of sadness from my face. I need to be sure I look like my usual happy self. Not the girl who so foolishly thought that Gale Hawthorne would be interested in her. Suddenly a single sunflower slides across the table directly into my view. I look up with a hopeful feeling rising in my stomach and find myself looking right into the eyes of Gale.

"For you." He says.

I pick up the sunflower and smile. How did he know they were my favorite?

"Thank you. It's my favorite flower."

"It suits you. So, how's your day going?" He says, still looking right into my eyes.

"Better now. I looked for you between classes this morning."

"Oh yeah? What for?" He asks but I know he's just enjoying teasing me. He knows good and well why I was looking for him.

"Well, because I have something for you." I say deciding to tease him back a little as I pull an envelope from my purse. "I realized that I never gave you the bonus money for finishing the garden preparations on time."

"Oh. I forgot about it." He says but doesn't look excited. In fact he now looks a little deflated. I realize that he doesn't know that I'm teasing back.

"And because I haven't been able to get you off my mind for even a moment since you left my house last night." I add in a whispered voice. I know my cheeks are blushing and I can't look him in the eyes. I'm suddenly feeling very vulnerable with my thoughts out on the table like that.

"Me neither." He whispers back as he reaches across the table and gently lifts my chin up so that I'm looking at him again.

I know I'm smiling from ear to ear and I'm positive I'm blushing. That same floaty feeling that happened when he kissed me consumes me once again. I can't find any words to speak so I just keep smiling, biting my bottom lip just a little as I do.

"What are you doing tonight, after the viewing I mean?" He asks me.

"Nothing, going home I guess. Why?" Please be about to ask me out I beg silently inside my head.

"I want to take you somewhere. Want to show you something. Can you stay out a little late?"

"My dad still isn't back so I'm home alone. No one will miss me."

"Perfect. I've gotta go but I'll see you at the viewing tonight okay?"

I nod, so elated that I find myself unable to speak. As he gets up to leave, he leans in across the table and whispers to me once more. "You look beautiful today by the way."

And with that he's gone and I'm once again left speechless and blissful.