DISCLAIMER: Just a sad reminder that I do not own anything regarding the Castleverse.

Horrid flashbacks raced through Castle's mind as he jogged through the hospital hallways until he found the waiting room where Esposito, Ryan and Lanie were already occupying. "How is she?"

Esposito stood and handed the writer Kate's badge, knowing he would take great care of it. "They're checking her out right now, they said something about an MRI to see if she needed surgery or not."

"Surgery? What the hell happened? I thought you were going to see kids at NYU!" Castle shouted, upset and terrified. Nothing could happen to her again, or he would not survive it.

"We were, but the last guy we had run away so we chased him. Beckett was faster than me and then the kid changed directions to flee through the west side entrance and the punk dropped his bag at Beckett's feet. She tripped on it and they both flew down stairs." The detective told the story for the fifth time in the last hour. Only Kate's father hadn't been called because she had begged him in the ambulance, saying that it wasn't necessary and that she'd called her herself later.

Castle's head was spinning so he went and sat down next to Lanie, who was staring blankly at her phone with tears in her eyes. "How badly is she hurt?"

Esposito sighed and took his seat back as well, the adrenaline finally fading and leaving him exhausted. "The paramedics weren't sure yet. It could only be bruises and bumps just like she could have broken ribs or a broken arm, or a concussion. They wouldn't talk until further tests were done. The kid took most of the fall though, so there's always that."

"Yeah, I guess." Castle fell silent and waited quietly, completely drained. Only the sounds of cell phones chiming or vibrating disrupted the loaded silence until a young male doctor knocked on the doorframe over an hour later, startling them. "Family of Katherine Beckett?"

Everyone stood as once and nodded. "Is she okay?" Lanie was the one to ask, unable to stand the silence anymore.

"She will be fine, her condition didn't require any surgery." Dr. Lanfield announced and paused as smiles and shaky breaths of relief were released. "She was extremely lucky considering she hasn't broken anything. She has a mild concussion, two of her ribs are cracked and she sprained her left wrist, but other than that it's mostly bruises, bumps and scrapes. We'll keep her until tonight just to make sure the concussion doesn't evolve in something more serious but if not, she'll be discharged. Is there someone living with her? She won't be able to do much for the next week or so, so she is going to need around the clock help."

All eyes turned to Castle, the man being the only one capable of working from home. "I'd be more than glad to take her home with me but I don't have any sick days left and we're swamped at work right now." Lanie apologized, genuinely sorry to not be able to offer her best friend her hospitality.

"I would love nothing more than to have her home with us but I'm not sure she's going to be as excited about the news as I am." Castle frowned at the idea of confronting Kate about offering to take care of her for a while.

Lanie pursed her lips as she recalled the conversation she had only hours before with the writer. He had been pushed away last time when Kate had holed herself at her father's cabin, but it wouldn't work this time, not if she could help it. If someone could finally help her and support her, it was him and no one else. "I'll talk to her."

"Oh my god, you're here!" Alexis exclaimed as the door to Castle's loft opened around eight that night, revealing an extremely sore and slowly moving Beckett and a more than patient writer at her side. "You okay?"

Kate rolled her eyes and nodded but it wasn't fooling anyone. Every step she was taking seemed more painful than the previous one, and her darkened eyes were glassy under the power of the painkillers she had been given at the hospital.

Castle exchanged a look with his daughter and the teenager sprang into action, quickly closing the door and moving to the kitchen where pots of coffee and tea had been made. "Would you like to drink something, det- Kate? I made coffee, tea, but there's also water, juice, milk, soda-"

"Thanks, Alexis but I think I should head to bed. I have a feeling this is just going to get worse tomorrow." Kate smiled softly but even doing that was putting a strain on her. "Castle..."

"Lanie should be here any minute to help in case you want to take a shower, and help change. And I'm afraid you won't get much sleep tonight, we need to check you every few hours because of your concussion." The man told her gently, reaching for her when she swayed on her feet but moved his hand lower when he inadvertently pressed his fingers in her bruised arm, making her gasp. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry!"

"Can I sit?" Kate ignored the concerned looks she got from the Castle household and wished she could go to bed and curled up under warm covers until her body stopped hurting like hell. She sighed gratefully when she reached the kitchen and sat on a chair, letting her head slump against the cold, smooth surface of the table.

She debated asking Castle to call Lanie and instead have him help her with changing because even she wasn't stupid enough to think she could pull it on her own, but she wasn't sure she was ready to go there with him yet. That and she knew he was most likely to freak out when he'd see her battered body and she didn't want to worry him.

Kate sighed again, upset at the idea of getting another sleepless night. "I guess I'll have coffee then." She muttered against the table, startling when a gentle hand made its way through her unruly locks. "Mmm."

Castle heard the knock on the door but let Alexis get it. He was not going to let the woman alone for a second, even if it was to go just a few feet away. "Kate?"

The detective didn't open her eyes, instead releasing a low grunt to show him that she was listening. "Your coffee's on the table and...Lanie's here."

He glanced up to see the M.E. coming their way, an unreadable look on her face when she saw how close he was to Kate, his hand still in her hair. "Hey."

"Hey." She greeted him as she walked to Kate's other side and kneeled down next to her friend. "Hey sweetie, ready to go for a shower or a bath?"

Kate didn't look up immediately, bracing herself for having to move again. "Okay."

Fifteen minutes and one very awkward moment for the detective later, she was soaking in a warm, lavender-scented bubble bath. Her back was too sore to lie directly against the hard surface so Lanie had folded a towel and placed it behind her to cushion the impact but, overall, it wasn't making much of a difference, every nerve and muscle in her body screaming their every move.

The water helped relaxed her cramped muscles, but with the soothing also came the pain. Kate could still feel every point of impact on her body, impregnated on her seemingly forever. The detective had her eyes closed but peeled them open soon as she waited for her friend to explode.

Lanie had been quiet so far, asking few questions, her touch gentle and helpful. But Kate knew that under that control was a storm waiting to attack. She wanted to tease her, lure the M.E. into giving in and yell so they could get it over with but there was something the shorter woman that unnerved the cop and felt like the worse thing she could do right now was to try and lighten things up. "Do you want to wash your hair?"

Kate didn't have the heart to tell her that she already did that morning so she wordlessly agreed. By the time Lanie was finished she was halfway sleeping in the tub, and Kate was startled when her uninjured hand, that had been steadying her, moved and Kate slipped in the soapy water before she had time to grab anything to hold on to.

"Kate, what the hell?" Lanie shouted as she helped her up, her sleeves dripping wet after the impromptu dipping in the water to rescue her friend.

Kate coughed and blinked repeatedly to clear her eyes, her heart pounding loudly in her chest and sharp, pulsing pain shooting throughout her body. "My hand slipped, sorry."

The detective's eyes snapped up to her friend's face when she heard a choked sob, her heart constricting at the sight of tears in Lanie's eyes. "Lanie?"

The woman's soft and insecure voice was so unusual from her normally strong and confident tone was the last straw for the medical examiner and she began to cry as she kneeled by the tub under Kate's shocked look. "Lanie, please don't cry, okay? Please talk to me."

"You!"

"Me?" Kate froze, stricken. Why was the woman crying about her? "Lanie, come on hon, talk to me?"

Kate suddenly wished she hadn't insisted for her to talk because when Lanie did look at her, the pain and anger in her eyes tore at the detective's insides. "You want me to talk? What the hell were you thinking, huh? Everybody keeps making jokes about your shoes and your freaking insane heels, but shouldn't you know better by now? I don't know what keeps me from going to your place and throw them all away!"

"What? No, no no no, you can't do that!" Kate shrieked, ignoring the strain it put on her ribs. "It's not my fault that jerk threw his bag at me!"

"If you haven't been wearing them you would've had time to stop!"

As much as she wanted to, Kate couldn't argue with that specific fact. "What the hell is this all about, Lanie?"

Lanie wiped the tears from her cheeks and stared her best friend down until she was squirming under her loaded gaze. "Do you have any idea how terrified I was when you were late for lunch, and when I got a phone call from Javi saying you had been hurt again? Every freaking worse-case scenarios raced through my mind on my way to the hospital! I kept thinking about what if you had broken your neck, or your back, or what if you had fractured your skull and suffered a traumatic head injury? You crashed down over thirty steps made out of concrete, Kate! You could've died again!"

Shameful tears filled Kate's eyes and no matter how much she blinked or tried to wipe her eyes, for one tear she dried another five came to take its place. She felt horrible when she realized what she had put her friends, her real family, through. "Again?" She whispered the word but as it left her lips, flashes of what Castle told her when she came back to town spun through her mind. 'I watched you die in that ambulance.'

"You may not remember, or choose to not remember about that, Kate, but you died that day. You died when your heart stopped in the ambulance and I had to perform CPR on you, praying we would make it to the hospital in time, and you died again on the OR table. Only this time it took them close to ten minutes before they were able to convince your heart to start beating on his own again." Lanie told her with a sharp, scared voice.

"You cannot do this to me again, you hear me? Because if I ever have to resuscitate you again, it'll be so I can kill you for making us go through that again. So now you need to promise me that from now on you will be more careful and stop pulling stupid stunts like you did today."

"I'm a cop, Lanie, you know I can't promise that." Kate tried to argue but Lanie wouldn't hear any of it.

"I know you're a cop, sweetie and as much as I'd want you to promise me that you'll never get hurt again, we both know it would be a big, fat lie. What you can promise me however is that you will stop putting yourself in danger when it can be avoided, like today, or when you and writer-boy decides to go off the grid on a hunch and almost end up being eaten by a tiger."

Kate rolled her eyes and sighed. She and Castle still got teased and glared at because of their last rogue investigation. "Lanie...please, this isn't the time of the place to have this discussion."

Lanie shot her a pointed look, warning clear in her eyes. "Why not? I have all night and I don't see you getting out of there by yourself, so either you promise or we'll stay here until you do."

"Blackmail when I'm injured? Really, Lanie? That's low."

"Not as low as the water keeping you warm, nor the bubbles keeping you from showing off anything."

"Lanie!"

"Your choice, girl. Either you promise or you are on your own. Or..." She stopped as her eyes took an odd glint. "You could ask writer-boy to help you out of the tub. I bet he'd be glad to get to do that while the place ain't on fire for once."

The mortified look that met Lanie reminded her of a younger Beckett, the one who spent so much time being flustered and annoyed at the writer after they first teamed up. She feared that bringing Castle into their conversation might push the detective too far, seeing she had been so unpredictable lately, but the M.E. knew she had made the right call when she saw the deep blush coloring her friend's cheeks. "Fine, I promise."

"You sure? Because with that look on your face, I'd bet you would love to have some time alone with Rick."

Kate rolled her eyes and blushed even more. "Shut up, Lanie. Can I go to bed now?"

Kate groaned as she rolled over to her side, every muscle of her body still making her feel like a painful lump. She forced one eye open and quickly found the alarm clock, its bright digits indicating it was past three in the afternoon.

The last day had passed in a blur for the detective as she mostly slept, the painkillers she had been prescribed knocking her out cold.

Kate was glad to feel more awake now, the haze finally clearing up until something occurred to her. She was currently in Castle's bedroom, curled up in the man's king sized bed and tucked under insanely soft sheets. Had she been in his room all this time without even realizing it?

"Hey, you're awake." A pleased voice greeted her from her right, his owner moving into her line of sight before she had time to shift. "How are you feeling?"

"Like a defective slinky."

Castle laughed and sat on the bed, and kept a cautious look on the detective as she slowly pushed herself into a sitting position as well. "Well, I guess it is better than, and I quote, 'having been on the receiving end of a demolition crane ball'."

Kate stared at him with wide eyes, surprised. "I said that? When?"

"This morning. You don't remember?" Castle asked with concerned eyes, handing her a glass of water.

"I don't know, maybe. It's all blurry though. Can I have coffee?" She sighed as she shot the glass of water a disdainful glare.

"Maybe," Castle conceded, his lips turning into an amused grin as the woman's eyes shone hopefully, "but you need to eat something first. And Lanie called earlier, she said that Esposito and Ryan were going to stop by later."

"Oh, okay." Kate was glad about the guys coming to hang out, but she wasn't too happy about the idea of food. Her jaw was still sore from the fall, but she convinced herself she could go for some yogurt or soup or something. "I think we still have yogurt, and there's frozen raspberries so I could make you a smoothie if you'd like? That way it won't be too difficult to drink."

The man had gotten so good at reading her thoughts it was getting creepy. Kind of sweet, but still creepy. From what she remembered Castle have tried not to overstep as the woman recovered from her accident but putting his foot down when she stubbornly tried to refuse help, whether it was from him or Lanie, and Kate in return had made efforts to accept their help, acknowledging their presence and not pushing them away even when she wanted to.

She was used to heal and lick her wounds alone, hiding them until it was safe to come out of retreat as if nothing had happened, but it seemed that fate had decided otherwise, testing her over and over again until she had no choice but to deal with letting people in. First her dad after she was shot and spent the summer out of the city, then Esposito during the sniper case and now Castle and Lanie.

As shocked as she was, she was slowly but surely realizing that having people to talk to, to open up to wasn't as horrible she had thought it would be. No one was thinking any less of her despite her recent setbacks; no one had judged her or critiqued her, instead offering soothing words, a shoulder to cry on and showing her that not being in perfect control of everything all the time wasn't a crime. It was life, normal; expected.

And, if anything had stuck in her confused mind in the last couple of days, it was how she needed to open up to one person in particular. She had admitted to Castle one of her biggest secrets when she had told him about being in therapy again and if she knew the man had been happy to be included in her secret, somehow she had the feeling that what the writer was most desperately wishing was for her to let him in in the smallest things in her life.

He wanted to know her, all of her. Her favorite book, singer and actor, her favorite word. He had been ecstatic when she had told him about her childhood memories about being a Temptation Lane fan. She still remembered the day when, feeling like sharing with the man, she had taken out a pile of photo albums and spent the day with him, looking at old pictures of her and her family, ranging from when she was a baby and up to when she had joined the academy.

Kate thought once again at Castle's words the day she was shot as she lay on the grass, her body going into shock and her mind going blank as her life was deserting her. When she really put her mind to it, she could still feel his hands on her, holding her tight and refusing to let her go. The screams and yelling that had filled the air that day and still haunted her dreams and nightmares on a regular basis, but only one thing remained loud and clear in her ear. He loved her.

Not only he loved her, he was also willing and prepared to wait however long it would take for her to get there, until the day when Kate would let him in completely.

It killed her that she wasn't able to get there faster. She wanted to be with him, in his bed and not because he had to take care of her while she couldn't do it herself properly. She wanted to wake up next to him, too tired and too sore to move, and spend the day wrapped up in his arms.

She wanted him but she was stuck.

She knew what she could do to let him in; Dr. Burke had given her plenty of examples over the last few sessions but, apart from getting more compliant about physical contacts and attempting to talk more openly to the man, she hadn't done much. She was too scared to do more. Because talking was one thing; showing off was a whole different story.

Deep down, Kate knew what Castle wanted. She frowned at the idea that if she'd made the man choose between seeing her naked or getting to see her scars, he'd probably chose the latter. She didn't understand why he wanted to see them so much. He never asked, never insinuated in any way that she should show them to him but, at certain moments, Castle was not asking very loudly, especially during moments where she would wince because her surgical scar pulled, or when she would brush her hand absently over the gunshot wound.

She was downright terrified that he would look at her differently is she did. She thought it would change everything between them.

But she wanted to change. She wanted to show him, to prove him that she was worth the wait.

Kate looked down at herself and at her pajamas. Lanie had helped her once the night before to take get cleaned up and change but, as much as her friend was happy to help and be useful, it didn't seem fair to make the M.E. drive across town at least twice a day from her place to Castle's, to work and to whatever she had to go wherever a body dropped.

Maybe she could do this. They could do this. If she showed him just how completely she trusted him, this wouldn't make him run away. Kate only wished she had decided to do this the day before when the effects of the painkillers would have helped cut out some of the anxiety. "Hey, Castle?"

"Yes?"

He was looking at her with such patient, warm eyes that it made her changed her mind a few seconds before shaking her head and letting resolve settling in. She must have zoned out longer than she had realized because under the man's kind gaze, curiosity and concern were coloring his deep blue orbits as well. "I..." It only then occurred to Kate that she had no clue how to ask him his help.

"Yeah?"

"Um...I, do I have clothes here? Actual clothes? I think I'd like to wear something else other than silly monkey pajamas for when the guys will be here."

"Um," Castle echoed dumbfounded, taking a moment before sighing uncertainly. "Probably. I know that Lanie put your clothes in a drawer but I don't know what she brought exactly. I can call her and ask her to come help you out when she gets here."

Kate bit her lip and suddenly found the maroon sheets covering her legs very interesting. "Oh. Actually um, I was thinking that um, maybe you could help instead?"

She looked up when no answer came. Castle was staring at her, a stunned look on his face. "Oh. Um."

Kate's face fell, her fears suddenly becoming reality. He wasn't ready, or he didn't want to see. She swallowed thickly and brought her legs closer to her. "It's okay, I'll just wait for Lanie, don't worry about it."

"Kate, no. It's not-" Castle cursed himself when he saw the dejected look on the detective's face. It must have taken her so much courage for her to ask such a personal thing and all he managed to do was stare dumbly at her. "I'd be more than glad to help you, you just took me by surprise."

To prove his point Castle stood and purposefully walked to the dresser and opened the top drawer, finding the woman's clothes in neat piles, ranging from tops, leggings, pajamas and underwear. "What would you like to wear?"

"Castle, I-"

Castle ignored her and picked up the first pair of underwear he saw, trying not to think too much about it, a pair of black yoga pants, a purple, loose fitting shirt and a black tank top before heading back to the bed. "Are those okay?"

Kate was still refusing to meet his eyes again. Castle sighed and sat close to her, his hand reaching up to lift up her chin. "Kate. I'm glad you asked, I really am. Believe me when I say that you can always, and I mean always ask me anything, okay?"

The man exhaled a deep relieved breath when nervous sienna eyes rose to meet his. "Okay."

He needed to be the strong one, he realized. For the first time ever she was relinquishing the control over to him because she wanted to show him she trusted him completely.

Overwhelmed, Castle glanced at the clothes and at Kate, unsure where to start. One look at her and he almost froze again. Her eyes were completely open to him, watching him curiously as to how he was going to handle this.

The famous writer glanced at the clothes again and came to a decision. Gently grabbing Kate's hands, he helped her to the edge of the bed before dropping his hands to her waist. "Can you...?"

Kate nodded, not trusting her voice. She let Castle slid her red flannel pants down her legs before he turned around and let her change into fresh underwear.

"You okay? Can I look?" The man asked when he heard a gasp and felt a sudden shift on the bed.

"Yeah."

He wasn't sure to which question the faint 'yeah' was referring to, but Castle took a chance and turned his attention back to Kate. She had changed into the deep blue hipster panties he had given her but the pants were still by her side. "Kate?"

"Let's just forego the pants for now, okay?" she asked him out of breath.

Castle nodded and forced his eyes away from her bruised legs, his hands itching to soothe them, and waited for her to twist enough so she was facing him. When she did there was an odd glint in her eyes and he caught on when she glanced from the top next to her and down to herself. He watched her closely for any sign of hesitation and slowly brought his hands to her shirt when he saw none.

He began with the top button, biting back a nervous chuckle when his fingers shook at first. He kept his eyes on the task at hand but he could feel the detective's gaze burning a hole right through him, and he finally understood why when he noticed that she wasn't wearing a bra.

Mindful of keeping the sides close enough together, Castle had just undone the third button when a slender hand suddenly rested on her hand, stopping him. His eyes rose to the woman's curiously and was startled by the intensity her eyes were charged with. He had just shifted his eyes back to their joined hands when he saw it. That was why she had stopped him.

That was why she had asked him to help.

She wanted him to know, to see.

Castle undid one more button, fully revealing the ragged, rounded scar the bullet had left her when it had hit her. Part of his mind marveled morbidly at how small the scar was considering the damage it had done, while his heart ached at the sight of what had brought so much pain, both physical and psychological, to the woman before him. He stared at it for what felt like hours before a faint squeeze of his hand brought his eyes back to her.

He was expected a loaded, closed up look but the one he got shook him to the core. Her eyes were shy and anxious but they were still unguarded, completely open to him.

Castle was so lost in the detective's eyes that he never felt his hand moving closer until his fingers came in contact with soft skin. He looked down abruptly to see that his hand wasn't hovering in the air anymore, but instead covering Kate's scar.

Her skin was warm and softer than he could've ever imagined, the bullet wound equally soft except for a thicker feeling to it. Castle closed his eyes briefly and with extreme efforts, pulled his hand back and resumed unbuttoning the top until he was done.

The writer then took Kate's uninjured hand and brought it to her top so she could keep it closed and he moved behind her, noting that the woman was flushed and breathing more heavily than when he had started. Hoping he was the reason for that change, Castle gently moved his hands around the back of her top and slowly let it slide off her shoulders until it pooled at her waist, where he grabbed it and let it fall on the floor. He winced at the sight of the purple and blue puffy bruises covering her back and absently wondered how she managed to sleep the last couple of days.

Kate's hand rose to cover herself more by a force of habit than because she really wanted to. She thought her heart was going to burst out of her chest when she had felt his fingers on her, and she had almost begged him to kiss her right then. As much as she wanted to though, the timing wasn't right; she didn't want their first time to happen on the heat of the moment and when she wasn't in a condition to fully appreciate it; she wanted to expect it and savor the wait.

Her resolve almost flew out the window when she felt his hand again, this time on her other scar. The bigger and more sensitive one was still bothering her physically from time to time so she was trying to touch it as little as she could, but to have him touch her there had an effect on her she had not been expecting.

Still covering herself, she moved her torso a bit to the left so he could have a better view. She didn't believe what she was doing. A week ago she could barely tolerate someone touching her on the arm through layers of clothing and now she was baring herself in front of the man she had come to love but couldn't admit it yet, letting him touch her in a way no one had before. "Castle."

She felt one last excruciating soft stroke over her ribs before it was gone. Kate released the breath she had been holding, only to be startled again when Castle tugged lightly on her arm from behind so he could slide the tank top down her torso.

They didn't say a word as he moved back in front of her and gently helped her arms into the purple shirt, both sighing shakily as their eyes finally met. Castle couldn't find words to express how he felt. He had hoped for that moment for so long that he was speechless now that it had happened, so he did the next best thing he could think of.

Carefully to not hit too much of her beaten up skin, Castle shifted closer and engulfed her in a bear hug. "Thank you." He whispered down her ear and kissed the top of her head, smiling when a small arm wrapped itself around his back. They stayed that way longer than the man could have ever expected and was gently pulling back when the arm around him tightened.

"Not yet, okay?"

"Of course. But I swear to God, Kate, you better not blame this on being high on painkillers later."

He felt her smile against his chest and let out a chuckle when a finger poked him in the back. "Deal."