"Very funny, Cas." Dean rolled his eyes.
"I'm serious, Dean. Eve is not pregnant with your child." Cas hurried on before Dean could interrupt. "Don't you remember? Five weeks ago you and Eve weren't having sex. She wanted to bond with you. You told me yourself!" Cas was getting excited as he fully processed his line of thinking. "There was a few weeks where you guys didn't have any sex at all." Dean furrowed his brow.
"You're right..." he murmured.
"I think I need to call Eve." Cas froze.
"Of course, I'll..." he made to stand up, but Dean stopped him.
"Don't make me do this alone. Please." The author hesitated for a moment.
"Okay." he finally agreed. Dean grinned his thanks and pulled his phone from his pocket. He found Eve's number and dialed. then he covered the mouthpiece and spoke to Cas.
"Do you think I could invite her over here to talk? It feels kind of skeezy to have his conversation over the phone." Cas hesitated again, but eventually nodded when he heard Eve's enthusiastic 'Hey, Dean!' through the cell phone. Dean mouthed 'Thanks' before uncovering the phone. "Hey, Eve. Do you think you could come over to Cas's? I want to talk to you about this whole baby business." Dean tried not to let his anger and hope and worry creep into his voice- if Eve knew he was upset she'd never come over.
"Sure thing, baby! I'll be there in 20 minutes." Dean ground his teeth and hung up.
"She'll be here soon." he managed to grunt out. Cas immediately lay back down on the other boy's chest, offering what comfort he could. 15 minutes later, Eve breezed into the house. Cas was in the kitchen, putting away the ice cream.
"Hi, Dean!" she cooed, offering a little wave. "I'm so glad you want to talk about our baby." Dean bit his lip and glanced towards the kitchen. A moment later, Cas re-entered the room, and he relaxed slightly. "Freak." she acknowledged, rolling her eyes at the author. Cas didn't answer, simply sitting on the couch next to Dean, who took his hand almost as soon as it was within range. Eve eyed their joined hands evilly. "You're going to have to stop that once the baby is born. It'll make him think that you're gay." Dean closed his eyes and slowly counted to five. Then ten. "So, what did you want to talk about?"
"Is that really my kid?" Dean asked, his eyes still closed. There was a shocked silence before Eve blew, and Dean's eyes shot open.
"Of course it's yours, jackass! What do you think I am, a whore?"
"Now I sure do!" Dean retorted. "I know you, Eve. When you get angry you get quiet. When you get scared you get loud."
"If it's not your then whose it it?" Eve demanded, putting her hands on her hips.
"I'll be damned if I know," Dean spat, standing and pulling Cas with him. "If could be anyone's, and I don't really care. If she's not mine, then I don't have to have anything to do with you." Tears began to fall down Eve's face but Dean wasn't move- Eve was a master of false tears.
"Please, Dean. I love you, and I can't tell everyone it's not yours, because then they'll..."
"They'll know you cheated on me." Dean finished for her. "And that's why we weren't having sex, isn't it?"
"Please, Dean." Dean shook his head resolutely.
"Go bother the real father. Assuming you know who it is." Eve flinched, and Dean immediately regretted his words. He bit back his apology, though. "Just... go, Eve. Go, and don't bother me again. We're done for good this time." Eve straightened her spine.
"I could still tell everyone it's yours. They'll all know what a dead-beat dad you are. They'll say you're just like your dad, Dean. Do you really want that?" Dean's face paled and his jaw dropped. Cas tightened his grip on his hand, before stepping in front of his friend protectively.
"How dare you?" he hissed. "How dare you threaten Dean, in my home nonetheless? How dare you?" Cas leveled an icy glare at Eve. "Get out of my home and stay out. If you tell anyone the child is Dean's I will slap a lawsuit on your ass so fast you'll get served last week. If you get near either of us again, we will get a restraining order. Are we understood?" Eve's face was scarlet with rage, but she nodded. "Good. Have a nice day." Eve stalked angrily from the house, slamming the door behind her. Dean collapsed on the couch and Cas wrapped him in his arms, sitting next to him. "It's okay, Dean." he murmured. Dean let out a hollow laugh.
"Is it bad that I'm sort of disappointed that I'm not gonna be a dad?" he murmured. Cas shook his head.
"Not at all, Dean. You would have made a great father."