Soooooooooo sorry about the lack of updates...real life has gotten in the way, and I was hit with writer's block as well. This has definitely become AU, because of Always...Best news is, only 54 days before "After the Storm". Thanks so much for sticking with me on this, I will try my best to wrap it up and update sooner next time...Until next chapter...

English is my second language, so any typos and/or grammar mistakes are entirely mine, most probably because I haven't noticed them...Sorry about that.

As much as Castle loved having Kate Beckett at his loft, where he got to see her everyday and, he thought gleefully, have her all to himself, seeing her back in her element at the 12th felt good. It somehow felt like having released the tiger back in its natural habitat.

Not that he would ever risk voicing that particular comparison out loud, especially when there was even the slightest chance she could hear him.

As he purposefully walked to her desk, five cups of coffee balanced precariously in hands, he observed her with bright eyes, a soft smile on his face. She was sitting at her desk, her back carefully resting against the back of her chair, but she had turned it so she could face the murder board.

Castle noted with confusion that is was a new one. The picture of a man now replaced the one of Victoria's, and by the looks of it, a suspect was already about to be arrested. "Hey."

Beckett swiveled on her chair, her eyes lighting up as she watched the writer close the distance between them. "Hey. That's a lot of coffees."

"I figured we could share with the team, to celebrate your first day back and all." Castle explained as he handed hers with a smile. "New murder board?"

Kate's features darkened and she wasn't quick enough to school them. "Gates closed it. They couldn't find any new leads so she shelved it."

"I'm sorry."

Kate shrugged to mask her discontentment. "The guys already have a suspect for the new case though, so maybe if we can close this one fast I could convince Gates to reopen the other one now that I'm back."

Castle grinned and looked around quickly, noticing that the bullpen was quiet and that neither Esposito or Ryan were in sight. "The boys went to pick up the suspect?"

"Yeah."

Castle sighed and sat in his chair before grasping Kate's to turn her over to him. "You just got back. Not being able to go on the field doesn't mean you can't interrogate suspects and solve crimes, Kate."

"I know," she mumbled as she picked up a pen on the desk and fiddled nervously with it, "and I'm glad to be back, but I hate being stuck with all the paperwork."

"They know better than do that to you, sweetie." Castle comforted her but closed his mouth shut at the glare he received. "No endearment words at work?"

Kate shot him a pointed look and turned back to her desk and the file opened on it. Sensing the detective's frustrated mood, Castle purposefully grabbed one of the coffees and gently deposited in front of Kate, his fingers barely caressing hers as he retreated his hand.

"It better not be decaf, Castle." Kate muttered, her eyes never leaving the pages on the desk.

"Regular grande skim latte with two pumps of sugar-free vanilla." He recited patiently as his lips twisted in a gently smile. "So," he continued after watching his partner all but launching at her coffee and draining half of it in one gulp, "I was thinking you could come over to the loft and have dinner with us tonight."

Kate glanced at him in confusion, coffee still half raised. "Why?"

"Do I need a reason to invite you over, detective?"

"Well, no." Kate frowned sheepishly, sighing as she leaned back in her chair. "I don't know how long I'll be here, Rick. I have a lot to catch up on."

Castle matched her position, making himself comfortable in his chair. "You know that Gates or the boys will have your head if you stay later than six. I will have your head as well. Besides, I believe you still owe me a talk, so we can either do it at my place, or I can pick you up and we'll head over to your apartment."

Burrowed eyebrows and pursed lips were never a sign of a cooperative Beckett. "I owe you a conversation?"

"We were supposed to talk last night but you fell asleep on me right after we-"

"She what?" Esposito squeaked, stopping dead in his tracks. The Latino detective eyed them with a bewildered smirk on his face, forgetting for a moment he was handling a suspect. "Bro, if-"

"Nothing happened, Esposito, get your mind out of the gutter. You too, Ryan." Kate growled as she shot them a warning glare. "Bring him to interrogation room two, Espo, I'll be there in a minute, okay?"

No one missed the suspicious glare Esposito shot Beckett with as he tugged on the suspect's arm, dragging forcefully further down the precinct. A few feet away Ryan fidgeted with the case file in his hands, debating whether if he should keep the file with him, or give it to the senior detective and flee to safety.

Beckett took the decision for him as she stared pointedly at him until the small, Irish detective all but shove the file in her hands before rushing off to find his partner.

"Hey, Ryan!"

The detective jumped and spun around at the shout. His frown grew bigger and he cocked his head, watching her in confusion when he realized she was smiling and pointing at her desk. "Castle brought you guys coffee."

A surprised grin lighted the man's features and he relaxed. "Ok, we'll get Marlowe settled and I'll come back to pick them up. Thanks, Castle."

Castle's eyes were on her when she turned back to him. "What? Stop staring, Castle, it's creepy." Kate retorted as she focused her attention back to the file on her desk.

Castle smirked as he not so secretly enjoyed the amused grin she failed to hide. "Yes, dear. But in order to buy my silence, you have to come over for dinner tonight."

Kate sighed and closed the file. It wasn't even nine in the morning and her patience was already wearing thin. As she glanced up at the man and founding his bright, blue eyes watching her with kindness and affection, a tightening in her lower abdomen warned her that her capabilities at restraining herself around him would be quite a challenge today. "Fine, Castle. But on one condition."

"Anything, detective."

Rolling her eyes at the smugness of his voice, Kate brought a hand up. "One. No googly eyes."

"Um."

"Two," Kate ignored him, "no endearment words, or nicknames, or anything remotely related to some cheesy, corny adjectives to describe...this. Us." She waved her hand between them while she kept counting the conditions on her other hand.

Castle openly sulked but nodded at her, and waited for her to continue. "And three?"

"Respect everything mentioned above today and maybe, maybe I'll consider staying over tonight."

"You mean...?" Castle's eyes bulged comically, his features giddy with excitement.

Kate checked around quickly and, satisfied that everybody seemed to be busy at their own desks, took Castle's hand in hers and squeezed it briefly, quirking an eyebrow at him. Standing and picking up the file, Kate headed to the interrogation room to perform her first interrogation in weeks, leaving a speechless novelist in her wake.

"Refill?"

Kate glanced up at Castle, hovering over her with a bottle of mineral water in hand. "No thanks."

As promised, the detective had showed up at the writer's door around six-thirty, Castle having left earlier to get the dinner ready. Alexis hadn't made it, having to study for a test the following morning, so it had been a quiet yet entertaining dinner between the partners and Martha.

The actress had excused herself not long after they had finished dessert, having sensed the younger woman's restlessness throughout their time at the table.

Castle sighed and lowered himself on the couch, settling in close enough so that their thighs were touching. The writer wasn't oblivious to the cop's struggles ever since she had stepped inside the loft. Asking her about sharing what had happened last summer had been taking its toll on her during the day; she had became more and more nervous as the day went on, and it was one of the reasons Castle had decided to leave earlier than planned.

But, as much as it pained him to see her so anxious, he didn't want to back down. He's given her time and space for the last eight months, but now he wanted to know. He had to know.

And she knew it.

"Do you think," Kate eventually asked hesitantly, her hands clasped together and careful not to meet the writer's eyes, "could we go to your study, or your room? I don't-"

Castle stood up and reached for her hand, trying not to take it personally when she refused it and got on her feet by herself. "Why don't we go in my room, if that's okay with you? You're tired, you should get some rest, Kate."

"After. I kind of owe someone explanations." She muttered as her socked feet padded through the silent loft, Castle following quietly behind.

The writer was surprised when, ultimately, Kate chose to settle in his bedroom. She hesitated next to the bed and watched as Castle moved around the room, pulling out sweats and a t-shirt out of his closet. He handed to her without a word, the gesture a question in itself.

Relief washed over Castle when she accepted the clothes and headed for the bathroom to change. "Do you have a spare toothbrush?"

Castle smirked. "Yours is still there."

Kate's smirk echoed Castle's as she stalled in the doorway. "A little presumptuous, are we Castle?"

"It would, if you hadn't just asked me for it. Oh wait, I believe you just did."

The door closed in its face. Castle chuckled and changed hurriedly into a pair of soft, navy cotton pajama pants and a t-shirt. He was pulling the covers back when Kate came back into the room and heard her clear her throat. "What?"

Kate raised an eyebrow and glanced down at the t-shirt she was clutching on her chest.A woman's sized shirt. "Just how long have you had that shirt in the hope I'd wear it in bed?"

"It was actually something I had wanted to give you a while back, but...The right moment has never came, and I forgot about it. I found it again yesterday while I was looking for something in the closet." Castle explained softly as their eyes lock, understanding darkening the detective's face. "Oh. Help me put it on?" She asked shyly after a beat, the shirt getting wrinkly in her nervous hands. "It looks kind of snug and my shoulders are still sore."

Castle swallowed tightly but a gentle smile graced his face as he stepped closer to help. "I'd normally be even happier to help you take it off of you, but we'll let it slide this time."

Kate walked past him and sat on the bed, hesitating as she fiddled with the shirt. Castle noticed the moment she made her decision, as she sat straighter and, after glancing up at him, simply handed him the shirt.

Castle fought to keep his eyes on hers, but he found it harder and harder to do so as he grabbed the shirt. She wasn't wearing a bra. How had ne not noticed her naked shoulders before? She was going to kill him. "You're not even going to look?"

"Um. No."

"No? Why?"

Castle gaped at her. "Why? Because you asked me to help you get dressed, not to openly gawk at you, Kate. I'd hope you know me better than that."

Kate's face fell and she nodded as she looked down. "I just...you know I'm not good with words, Rick. They keep getting all mixed up, and I always end up saying the wrong thing so I thought..."

"You could show me instead." Castle sighed as he understood. Kate nodded and wrapped an arm around herself, covering her chest foolishly. She heard him moved around the room but she kept her head down, only looking up when she felt the bed dip under his weight, one of his own shirts being placed on her lap. "Kate..."

Their eyes locked but neither of them talked. Kate blinked, lost in the man's warm and so full of love blue orbs, and a small grin tugged at her lips as the anxiety of the last days, or the last months if she was honest with herself, slowly began to drain from her body and mind.

She could do this. She had told him she loved him, and he had already seen her at her very worst. He had always come back, no matter how many times she had blew him off or treated him like the man she knew he wasn't. He loved her.

He loves her.

Kate dropped her arm, unbarring herself to him once again, and yet Castle still didn't look. Reaching out, she gently took his hand and guided it between her breasts until it rested on the scar from the bullet wound. "A quarter of an inch to the left and it would have pierced the heart. I was lucky it only nicked the pulmonary vein."

"What did it feel like? I mean...you know, after." Castle whispered after he found his voice again, when he thought he could talk without letting out the desperate sob in his throat. His finger lightly brushed over the scar, fascinated by the softness of it despite of his puckered appearance.

Kate closed her eyes as she let herself feel the writer's touch in the one place she very seldom touched, hating the flashbacks it brought her whenever her hand accidentally made contact with it. Accepting to look at it was one thing, but to actually touch it..."You didn't look that bad when I saw you."

"I was on really, really good drugs." She admitted honestly. "And it wasn't too bad, as long as I wasn't breathing too much, or moving around, or talking too much." She laughed self-deprecatingly. "The other one hurt more."

Castle's hand instinctively roamed down her ribs to the surgical scar and caressed it with his thumb, noting the difference between the two. "They cut through the muscles."

"Yeah. Sometimes...I know it's stupid, but sometimes, I think I can still feel the cold metal from the retractor on my skin and I have to touch myself to make sure I don't have a gaping hole on my side." Kate looked up at Castle, only to find him staring at her with tears in his eyes. "Hey, it's okay. It hasn't happened in a while now. I'm better. So much better, Castle."

"Still...you could have died, and I wasn't there. You were in the hospital for so long, Kate. I kept thinking of the worst." Castle sucked in a deep breath and had Kate gasp in surprise when he lowered his head and delicately kissed the scar, before shifting on the bed to do the same thing with the other one.

"I had a pneumonia, and I had a bad reaction to one of the antibiotics they were giving me, so I got stuck in the hospital an extra three weeks." Both were painfully aware of what the writer was doing as his lips lingered shortly. His eyes closed as he absorbed everything her quiet voice was telling him, he sighed and pulled back, and took his shirt from Kate's lap. He helped her into it wordlessly buttoning it down for her before patting the other side of the bed. "Care to get more comfortable? Your back must be sore."

Kate nodded but before Castle could pull away, her hands snapped up and grabbed his shirt, bringing it closer to her. One hand clutched around the thin fabric, the other moved to his face to cup his cheek and, gently, kept him in place as she pressed her lips against his in a chaste kiss. "I'm so sorry, Castle, so sorry. But I'm here now, and I'm here to stay, I promise you."

The cop sighed in contentment as Castle's arms wrapped around her waist and back, and she felt herself being tugged into his lap. Kate gladly returned the embrace as she leaned into the writer's warm chest, his strong hands working at the knotted muscles in her shoulders and back.

Castle shuddered as he felt Kate's fingers softly running down his ribs and lower back, the slight scratching of her fingernails sending sparkles of desire throughout his body.

His lips trailed down her neck, peppering her with feather light kisses, as he held her tighter against him. Castle's heart stopped pounding in his chest as she relaxed and quickly became boneless on him.

Castle chuckled when he realized why Kate had become so suddenly quiet and heavy in his arms. "You really need to stop falling asleep on me, sweetie." He whispered in her ear as he continued to gently rocking her, making sure she was gone for the night. He sat still and basked in the moment, enjoying the feel of his partner in his arms with a silly grin on his face.

Thoughts? Reviews, comments?