For the next couple of days, Dean kept his touches to Cas light and casual. He would hug him quickly, never lingering. Cas smiled as though he appreciated the space, but in his mind, wished that Dean would wrap him up in his arms and make him feel safe. Feeling somewhat unwanted, and fully aware that it was unfair, Cas was hurt.
"Hey, Cas, what do you-"
"Castiel."
"-want for dinner-huh?" Dean looked up from his search of the fridge. "What did you say?"
"My name is Castiel." Dean forced a laugh.
"I know that, Cas, but-" Castiel's eyes filled with ice.
"My name." he glared hard at Dean. "Is Castiel. Castiel Novak." Dean nodded hesitantly.
"Okay. I'm sorry, Cas...tiel?" The author gave a single nod.
"I forgive you." he glanced at the still open fridge. "We still have some spaghetti from the other night. Why don't you reheat that?" Dean bobbed his head a few times.
"Sure thing, Cas...tiel..." Dean was rewarded by a brilliant grin from the other boy.
When the two sat down to eat, Dean hesitantly brought up what he saw as the brilliant purple-and-blue elephant tap dancing through the room.
"So... why the sudden desire to be Castiel? I thought, well," Dean blushed and stared at his plate. "I thought you liked being my Cas." He chanced a look up at the writer, who raised a single brow in response. Dean, suitably cowed, looked back at his food and didn't ask again. Dinner was a strained affair. Later, when Dean tried to go to bed, the door was locked. He slept in the guest room. That night, both boys cried themselves to sleep, missing the warmth of the other, both in their bed and in their lives.
The next day, Castiel told Dean that he was going away for a little while.
"What? Why?" Dean demanded, eyes growing wide with fear. "Is it me? I'm sorry, I, I, I'll make sure to always call you Castiel, I'll never touch you again if that's what you want, I'm sorry Ca-"
"I'm just going on a book tour, Dean." The author cut off Dean's frantic rant with a small, pained smile. "I'll be back in a few weeks. And until then we can always text, or something." Dean nodded dumbly a few times.
"Okay." Castiel turned to leave the room. "When... are you leaving?" the other boy spoke over his shoulder.
"Tomorrow. I need to go pack."
By the time Dean woke up the next morning, in the guest room, Cas was gone. Dean spent the day alone in the house, surfing mindlessly on the internet. He looked up information on getting his GED, and scrolled endlessly through Facebook. The next day, Dean made his way up to the school and formally dropped out, assuring all of the councilors that he would get his degree soon, and not put it off. Then he visited his family's house, but Sammy was at school, and his mom's car wasn't in the driveway. Feeling very alone, Dean drove. For hours, barely paying any attention to the ride, Dean drove the town, until he saw a 'help wanted' sign. He pulled into the parking lot of a small diner that he had passed countless times before. Pretending he wasn't nervous, he strode into the restaurant and made his way up to the counter.
"Hey there, hon. What can I do for ya?" The speaker was an older, blonde woman with heavy blue eye liner. Dean's first thought was that she was clearly past her prime, and he was immediately ashamed.
"I saw the help wanted sign," he began to explain. The woman grinned and interrupted.
"Oh, sure thing! You want an application, right? You know, I think Ellen's here, she could interview you right now, I'm sure she'll love you. Do you want me to go fetch her?" Dean was surprised that the woman- whose name he now saw was Carla- didn't rush off before he could answer the question.
"Uh, yes, please, ma'am." Carla's smile widened.
"You just wait right here, son." The woman made her slow way away, and Dean watched her go. A few moments later, she reappeared, leading a taller woman, who made her way over to Dean while Carla visited her customers.
"You made quite an impression on Carla, boy." The woman said by way of greeting. "I'm Ellen. What's your name?"
"Dean Winchester, ma'am."
"I think I know why Carla liked you so much." Dean smiled.
"Why's that?"
"Cute boy walks in, calling people ma'am, I'll just say you've won yourself some points with me." Dean's smile grew. "Don't get ahead of yourself, Winchester. come back into my office." Dean followed Ellen into a small, comfortable back room with a desk and several cushy chairs in front of it, as well as more file cabinets than the area seemed to have room for. "Take a seat, Dean." Ellen made her way to the other side of the desk as Dean sat. She followed suit with a sigh. "You got any work experience?"
"No, ma'am."
"You graduated high school yet, kid?"
"No, ma'am. I dropped out earlier today."
"Why?" Dean looked down at his hands, twisting nervously in his lap.
"I'm just not cut out for it, ma'am." Ellen was silent and Dean chanced a look up at her. "I can't learn with teachers standing around waiting for me to fail." Ellen nodded.
"Are you gonna get a GED?" Dean nodded.
"Yes 'm. My boyfriend-" he stopped, worried that he may have ruined his shot at getting a job, but Ellen's face didn't change. When she realized Dean's fear, she smiled gently.
"We don't put up with any sort of discrimination here, Dean. Not racism, sexism, homophobia, or transphobia. Any of that gonna be a problem with you?" Dean shook his head immediately.
"No, ma'am."
"Alright, Dean. When do you want to start?"