Band

Kirk, Spock, and Bones stood on the transporter pad, all ready for some well-deserved shore leave. They'd just saved the Yulners from annihilating the Bryn on the planet Mais.

Scotty beamed the trio down to the mountains of Raxa. Somehow, shore leave with Jim always turned into a camping trip. Bones hated it-there was always some unknown danger lurking around the corner and Jim insisted on taking stupid chances. Spock claimed he only went because the captain requested his presence, but everyone know the three were an inseparable band of brothers and would rather argue with each other than get along with anyone else.

A/N: Do you see what I did there? If you do, you get an imaginary gold star.

Play

"Alright, alright, Mr. Spock, you can go play," Kirk said, slightly exasperated. Spock had been ceaselessly enumerating why the sensor readings of the planet below warranted first-hand observation.

"Play, captain?"

"Yes, Spock, play. Take your toys and go play."

"I do not understand what frivolous recreation has to do with the situation, captain. I am requesting permission to investigate the unusual phenomena on the planet's surface."

"I know, Spock. I was being facetious. Take your science team and two security officers down. I want hourly check-ins."

"Thank you, Captain."

"Have fun."

Time

A man obviously in a hurry rushed up to Spock. "Excuse me, do you have the time?"

"Do I have the time for what?" Spock asked the stranger.

"I was just asking what time it is. Forget it." The man walked away.

Spock turned to Jim, the question on his lips.

"It's just a phrase, Spock. It originated in a time period when people wore portable time-keeping devices called watches on their wrists."

"The phrase is illogical."

"I know, Spock. Try not to let it bother you. We're likely to encounter more illogical phrases before this mission is over."

Spent

"Touché!" Sulu exclaimed as his foil found its mark. "Ready to go again?"

"I surrender!" Chekov cried as he sank to the ground, spent.

"Pavel, that was only one round."

"I am only good at the physical activities that were invented in Russia."

"Alright, you choose the next sport," Sulu said.

"I choose…drinking!" he cried.

"That's a not a sport."

"Clearly, you have never been to my country. Are you going to face me or not?"

"You're on."

An hour later, Sulu was sprawled across a table in the rec room while Chekov giggled uncontrollably in victory.

Worship

"Look, your Worshipfulness, let's get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person: me."

"That is a most illogical attitude. It only serves to cause difficulties."

"Spock," Jim whispered, "it's just a movie. We don't watch it for the logic of it, we watch it because it's fun."

"I fail to see how watching primitive portrayals of space travel is 'fun.'"

"Spock, just be quiet, sit back, and enjoy the story. Don't worry about how illogical it is or how silly the special effects might look."

Spock raised an eyebrow in disdain, but turned back to the view screen and remained silent for the rest of the film.

Life

"For the life of me, I don't know what gets into the two of you," McCoy scolded. "Getting lost is bad enough, but when you turn up from shore leave needing serious medical attention, I have a problem. The Enterprise needs its officers fit for duty. Shore leave is supposed to help you relax, not send you back needing rehab!"

"Easy, Bones, I'm sure my senior navigator and helmsman have learned their lesson. They should be back on duty in a day or two. I think we can deal with their absence for that long."

Dr. McCoy treated their injuries, mumbling all the while.

Pray

"You'd better pray Mr. Spock doesn't find you in here using those instruments to play air band," Janice said in warning.

"Relax, Janice, Mr. Spock never comes in here. We're in no danger of detection," Lieutenant Riley assured her.

"Now, either join in the fun or go back to your quarters like a good little girl," Sulu said.

Janice frowned. She knew they were probably right about not getting caught. Mr. Spock was off-duty and he usually spent his time playing chess with the captain or in his own quarters doing Vulcan things. She wiped the worried look off her face and joined the party.

Knees

Chekov sat in sickbay, grimacing as Nurse Chapel removed tiny pebbles from the scrapes in his knees. He hissed as she applied disinfectant. Then she gave him a hypo for the pain and bandaged his knees.

"That should be the worst of it. Even with all the technology in the world, there's still no good way to remove debris from a wound. Whatever were you doing?"

"Sulu talked me into playing volleyball. He didn't mention we wouldn't be playing on a beach."

Christine smiled. "The scrapes you two get into is amazing."

Chekov groaned.

Zombie

Jim Kirk stumbled onto the bridge. He reached his chair with great difficulty and collapsed onto it. His eyes closed and his head lolled to the side.

Janice crept up behind him. She held a cup of steaming liquid. She gently touched the captain's hand. He jerked upright. "Yeoman," he said, gruffly, rubbing his bleary eyes.

She smiled. "Here's your coffee, sir. We don't want any zombies on the bridge."

Skeleton

"You'd best start believing in ghost stories, Miss Turner. You're in one."

"Is my presence required, Captain?" Spock inquired in a whisper laced with what would be irritation in a non-Vulcan.

"What's the matter, Spock, you don't enjoy cursed pirate skeletons?"

"I find the situation unlikely to occur and therefore watching stories about it is merely a waste of time."

"Very well, Spock. You may relieve Hobbes on the bridge and send him down here."

"Thank you, Captain." Spock left the room, taking a last glance back. The human obsession with the supernatural was most illogical.

Closet

"Is everything alright, Lieutenant?" Spock asked.

Uhura nodded. "Girls just get a little excited when you put them in a room together," she explained.

"Very well." Spock inclined his head in farewell.

Uhura stepped back into her room. "Alright, you can come out now."

Riley, Kyle, and Leslie crept out of the closet.

"Now, boys, you know what the terms of our 'agreement' were," Uhura said.

They nodded and a little reluctantly pulled off their shirts. They'd lost the bet and had to do chores for the ladies, who insisted they do so shirtless.