Chapter 31

The viewing is pure torment today. Not only because of what we see on the screen but because Gale just dropped a loaded bombshell of a secret on me minutes before we came here. The viewing itself is awful. Gamemakers caused a massive fire and used it to redirect Katniss towards the Careers. They're evil like that when it comes to the games. They want drama and action and they'll get it at any cost. And really that's the whole point of the games. Katniss is burned badly but fights through on what can only be adrenaline and determination. She's finally found water and is trying to soothe and assess her burns when the Careers spot her. Peeta is with them. They all begin chasing her and because she's so injured they manage to gain on her quickly. She manages to climb high up in a tree but they just surround the tree, taunting her. None of them are lightweight enough or skilled enough to climb up as high as she managed to get. And that's where they leave us with the viewing. With Katniss stuck way atop a tree, badly burned and a whole mess of Careers plus Peeta just waiting for her to come down. I'm floored at Peeta. I can't figure out why he's working with Careers. I still feel like there is something we aren't being shown, something we as viewers don't yet know, which would make it all understandable. Even still, I'm appalled that Peeta is at the bottom of the tree when Katniss is at the top. And now we have to wait until tomorrow to find out what horrific fate awaits our friend. And I fear it won't be good.

And then there's this whole secret thing with Mabel and my father. I'm a whole mix of emotions and because I'm at the viewing I can't even allow myself to work through those emotions just yet. All I know is I need to be alone with Gale as soon as possible. We need to figure out a plan of how in the world we're going to get to the bottom of this. I know it must have been extremely difficult for him to tell me about this. I mean, how awful to have to tell your girlfriend that her father and housekeeper whom she loves and adores are hiding things from her? I love that he did come to me though. I think most guys would have been more inclined to bail on the situation. I feel stupid too. When he first started trying to talk to me and couldn't find his words I'd assumed that he had heard about Tripp sitting with me for dessert at the Café last night. I'd thought he was upset at me, not for me. I must have sounded so ridiculous as I spouted off all that nonsense about Tripp.

Finally Ceaser finishes up his commentary for the day and the screen flickers off; the viewing is over. I turn to Gale and look up at him. I'm not sure what we can do, where we can go but I'm hoping he does.

"Can we go somewhere?" I ask, trying not to sound so pleading about it.

"I don't know. Maybe you should go on home for now."

"Oh, okay." I know I sound disappointed. I can't believe that he wants me to go home. But I don't want to argue him about it. Besides, after what we just watched in the games, he may want to just be alone for awhile.

He pulls me into a hug and leans down to my ear. "I'll come for you at midnight. Wait for me behind the shed." He whispers and then kisses below my ear before letting me go.

I nod and turn towards my house. Relived that he is only temporarily leaving my side. Midnight is good. That means we will be alone. And probably going to the woods. Now I just have to kill time until then.

Back at my house I find Mabel in the kitchen making dinner. She usually isn't here after a viewing but tonight she is.

"Oh, hi Mabel. I didn't know you were going to be here. What are you making?" I ask, putting my best effort into sounding normal.

"Just finishing up dinner. I started it earlier but it needed to marinate a little so I came back to finish it up. Pork Tenderloin in a lemon garlic crème sauce with asparagus and baby new potatoes."

"Sounds delicious! Call me when it's ready?" I say as I head up to my room. It's the closest thing to privacy I have right now. I would work in my garden but I already did that this morning and there isn't anything left to do. I end up pacing the floor of my room, watching the clock until Mabel calls me down again to eat.

My father is only partially present at dinner. He's brought his work to the dinner table with him and is busy peering through his glasses as the tiny print of the documents. Other than some light initial chatter we eat in silence. Dinner is savory and I can tell it's one of the best dishes Mabel's ever made. I doubt I'm getting the full enjoyment out of it though because my mind is elsewhere. My mind is having a hard time trying to understand Mabel and my father. Mabel has always been a second mother to me and I never doubted that I could trust her. That all changed when I'd discovered she knew they were leaving my mother in a facility and she didn't tell me. Had that not just happened I honestly couldn't say that I would have been so quick to believe Gale. And my trust was damaged with my father too. He had purposefully kept me in the dark about my mother. And for the life of me I still couldn't figure out why they both felt it wasn't a good idea for me to get to say goodbye to my mother. How do you deny that to a child?

After dinner my father retreats to his study for more work and phone calls. Mabel left shortly after dinner was served. She doesn't seem to suspect that Gale told me anything. Though I know she had to have seen us together at the viewing. Perhaps the fact that I came back home alone post-viewing will give her the impression that Gale has begun distancing himself. As that thought crosses my mind I wonder if that was why Gale sent me home. He's so smart. It never even occurred to me that he may be trying to create his own illusion until we can figure this thing out.

Back upstairs in my room, I decide I need to find better shoes in case we are going out into the woods. Mabel had noticed my feet, just as I thought she would. My excuse was flimsy though she didn't directly question me about it. I'd tried to claim it was from all my gardening and that I'd worn a pair of shoes possibly mis-sized and it'd rubbed my feet raw without my realizing it until it was too late. She'd soaked my feet in an Epsom salt bath and told me to keep ointment on them. They were not much better now than they were before as far as how they looked but they certainly felt a lot better. Still, if Gale and I were going to the woods I would need to better prepare this time. Boots were what I really needed. I scoured my closet, opening every shoebox, trying to see what if anything would work. All my shoes seemed wrong. Stupid fancy Capitol shoes. The best I could do was a pair of sneakers I usually used for gardening. But they were more of a slip on shoe than a sneaker and the edges of them fell right over the blisters that had formed on top of my feet. I plopped down in the floor of my closet, ready to admit defeat with the shoes when I noticed my gardening hat on the floor. My mother's hat. And that's when the idea hits me that she likely had boots somewhere that I could wear. We wore the same size shoe. They had boxed up all of her things but I doubted they'd shipped them all out yet since I hadn't seen any of them being picked up. I tiptoe down the hall to my mother's room. The door is closed but isn't locked so I slip in and close the door behind me. My parents had separate rooms since my mother had gotten so sick so I wasn't too concerned about my father catching me in here. I was right, her boxes were still here. They were all closed up and labeled as if they were ready for pick up but thankfully, they were still here. I locate the one labeled "shoes" and open the lid. There at the bottom, under what must be 50 pairs of Capitol style heels and sandals was a lone pair of boots. I pull them from the box and run my fingers over them. They were made of dark chestnut colored leather and had thin leather laces that ran up the front. Flat with a hard sole. They appeared worn and well broken in. It was hard to imagine my mother wearing them though I thought they were beautiful in their own right. She used to ride horses and I think these must have been her riding boots. I reclose the box that I'd opened and hug the boots to my chest. Before I leave the room I glance around at it with sadness. All of her things, every single thing she owned, was boxed up. It was almost as if she never existed. Once the boxes were shipped off or put into storage there wouldn't be a trace of her left in this room.

Back in my room, I pull on the boots and tie up the laces. I was right, we were the same size. The boots having been so old and broken in feel easy and comfortable on my damaged feet. Not at all stiff and new like my usual shoes. True, they still weren't intended for hunting or hiking but they were far batter an option than anything in my closet. I flip through my closet and find my overalls. They're not right with these boots but they're the only pants I own. Everything else is dresses and skirts. Once I'm dressed, I check the time and see that I have a little time before I need to go out back to meet Gale. I pick a book from my shelf and flip through it, trying to kill time until I can leave. The pages fail to hold my attention and I find myself growing more antsy by the minute. I decide to go ahead and head outside. No reason I can't get there early. I tiptoe down my hall, carful not to disturb my father. He's likely already asleep in his room but I don't want to attract attention right now just in case. Thankfully, he's a very sound sleeper.

Outside the night air is welcoming. It's still hot but nowhere near as suffocating as the daytime air has been lately. I walk down to the shed and take a seat in the deep grass behind it. The woods across the fence stare out at me, begging me to come to them. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Gale arrives. I hadn't heard him walk up. His hunting skills seem to have trained him to tread so lightly that his step is silent. He slides down next to me and immediately pulls me to his lap.

"Hey." He says as he smothers me with a long kiss.

"Hey yourself" I whisper back once my lips are free.

"Are we going into the woods?" I ask, barely able to contain my excitement.

He smiles and nods, taking my hand and pulling us to our feet. Together we slip through the perimeter fence and dart across the field to the cover of the trees. Once in the woods we walk for a bit before we find a place to sit. Gale sits beneath a tree and leans back against the massive trunk, pulling me once again to his lap. I rest me head on his shoulder, planting a couple kisses on his collarbone as I do.

"So what are we going to do? How can we figure out what Mabel was talking about?"

"I don't know Madge. But we need to find out what they're hiding. It can't be good whatever it is." He says. His eyes look worried.

We sit in silence for a while. I love how we do that. It's always so comfortable. Finally he breaks the quiet. "Where'd you get those boots?"

"Oh, well, my feet were really torn up after we went to the lake. None of my fancy shoes are made for the woods. These were my mother's, I think she used them when she went riding a long time ago." I say looking down at my feet, slightly holding up one foot.

"You hurt your feet? Why didn't you tell me? I'm so sorry, I didn't even think about your shoes and how far we walked." Concern flooding his voice and his hand grazing over the top of one of my boots.

"It's okay. It was worth every blister. And now I have my mother's boots. I had to sneak into her room and steal them out of her boxes. And just in time too, looked like the boxes are about to be shipped out."

"How bad is it? Did you put anything on them? Let me see."

"I'm fine. Mabel soaked them and gave me an ointment for them. They look worse than they feel." I tell him, ignoring the fact that he wants to see them. I don't want him too look. I know he'll feel guilty and I don't need that.

"Madge, show me your feet." He repeats. His voice is serious enough that I know I won't be able to get out of it. I untie my boots and slip my feet out of them, peeling back my socks. He gasps when he sees them. I'm silently grateful that all we have is moonlight filtering down through the trees. If it were sunlight my feet would look even worse.

"Oh Madge! Why didn't you tell me? This is all my fault, I didn't even think about your feet and you had no idea how far I was making walk. I am so sorry." He starts peppering my face with dozens of tiny kisses. His strong arms pull me tightly against him.

"Gale, I said I was fine and I meant it. I don't care about my feet. The night at the lake was the best, most magnificent night of my life." I tell him as he continues to cover me in his kisses.

"Really?" He asks pulling back his kisses only long enough to speak and look into my eyes.

"Of course. It was perfect. The kind of romantic thing I've only ever read about in books or dreamed about. I loved every minute of it."

He doesn't speak again put resumes kissing me only this time there's much more intensity behind it and my lips respond by meeting his. We lose ourselves in the kiss. My body shifts to face his and my legs wrap around his waist. His hands find my hips and pull me closer to him. As his lips work their way down to my neck, my hands slide underneath his shirt and my fingers glide over the taught skin of his chest. He continues running his lips over my neck and I can't help but sigh in delight. I want more of him. I tug his shirt upward, hoping he'll remove it. He does and the sight of his bare skin in the moonlight ignites even more desire within me. I move my lips down his neck and onto his chest. He moans and I continue my kisses down his chest. When I get to his stomach he closes his eyes and leans his head back. I don't stop until I reach his waistband. That's when he stops me.

"Madge." Is all he says as he pulls me back upward so that my face is level with his again and he kisses me.

I look at him, longing for this continue, heart racing with excitement. Why on earth are we stopping? I keep my face level with his but move my hands to his waistband and run my fingers lightly around the edge of them. He takes my hands, closing his around them.

"Madge. We can't." He says breathlessly.

"Why not?" I ask sounding as dejected as I feel. I want him, in every way. Being close to him feels so right. So amazing.

He gives me a little smile and says quietly "Because it's a big deal if we keep going. I don't want you to regret anything with me. Ever."

"I'm not regretting anything Gale. I just want too be with you."

"Trust me, I want you more than you could possibly know. It's incredibly difficult to make us stop now when all I want is for things to continue. But I want more with you than I've wanted with anyone else. I don't want just one night of wonderfulness, I want every night. And I'm afraid you'll have regrets if we do this too soon."

"Every night, huh?" I tease.

"I'm serious. You really aren't just another silly girl that's stolen my attention for the moment. You are all I can think about lately. I wake up and I'm thinking about you. You cross my mind throughout the day, all day long. When I go to sleep at night, I'm thinking about you. Heck, even in my dreams I find you there."

"You've had dreams about me?"

"I want to hear more about these dreams." I say, very intrigued. Since when is he dreaming about me?

"It's embarrassing." He says shaking his head.

"Spill it Gale." I say folding my arms over my chest and shaking my head. I'm not letting him tell me he dreams about me and then not tell me details.

"You interrupted one dream one time. It was the first one."

I look at him to continue. I'll need more than that.

"In the meadow that night, before we were together. When I'd fallen asleep and you came out to save me?"

"But you were so mean to me when I woke you. You made me cry." I tell him remembering how ugly he'd been that night and how stupid I'd felt standing there.

"I know. I'm sorry, I was just so embarrassed and I didn't know what to think about it all. In my dream we were kissing and then you startled me awake and there you were standing over me, staring at me and wearing practically nothing. It was either pull you down in the grass and kiss you or get the heck out of there before you could figure out that some dumb Seam guy was thinking that way about you. Obviously I got the heck out of there. I've really never been so embarrassed. And I am sorry I was mean." He confesses to me.

"I had no idea you were dreaming about me that night. I was staring because I could tell you were dreaming about kissing someone. Your lips, they were moving as if you were kissing someone. I was standing there imagining what it would be like to kiss you." I tell him, stunned to know that it'd been me all along.

"And how is it? Kissing me, I mean?" He teases.

"Can't seem to get my fill of it. It's blissful. Like I'm floating on air."

He grins and pulls me in for a kiss.

"You know, I got locked out of my house trying to save you in the meadow that night. Had to sleep on my porch until Mabel got to work the next day." I tell him.

"That's awful. Again, I am so sorry!" He tells me through a muffled laugh. "You know that ruffled nightgown thing you had on? Drove me crazy. I'd never seen so much of your legs before. And your hair was all bedraggled. You looked so breathtakingly beautiful standing over me that night." He continues to confess.

"If it makes you feel any better about being embarrassed for dreaming about me, I was very embarrassed when you left and I realized what I was wearing. But knowing now how much you liked that, it may become my new favorite outfit. I may start wearing it all the time."

"You're killing me, you know that?" He tells me as he puts his hands to his face as he smiles.

We both laugh and then fall into our usual silence for a bit. This feels so good, so right. I love this.

"Did you say that all of your mother's things had been boxed up?" Gale suddenly asks me.

"Yeah, everything. Why?"

"Well, that just seems odd. I mean, where are they sending it? Why would they so quickly remove traces of her from your own house?"

"I don't know. I thought maybe they were sending it to her or maybe to storage."

"You need to get inside those boxes Madge. There must be something in there that they want to disappear. Maybe something that will give us a clue as to what they have planned for you."

"I can try to look through them but I'll have to do it soon. It looked like they were going to be picked up any day now."

"Then you need to do it right away. When you go home. If they catch you, just act like you miss your mother and wanted to see her things again. Play it up like I know you can."

I nod and he continues. "Look for anything that seems odd for her to have had. Anything that doesn't fit."

"What are we going to do about us in the meantime? Do we need to pretend to have a little distance between us?" I ask him.

"I can't decide. That was partly why I went off on my own after the viewing. I don't want to be away from you though."

"I know, I don't want to pretend that we aren't as close as we are either. I hate even thinking about it. Part of me just wants to be defiant and flaunt you all over town." I tell him.

"You flaunt me, huh? I think of it as being the other way around. But seriously, lets just try to figure this out as fast as possible. In the meantime lets keep our time together casual in appearance. Like at the viewings we can sit together but lets not let everyone know we're really still a couple. We'll just seem like friends. Just until we figure out what's going on, you know? It may be best to have Mabel and your Dad think that they've scared me out of being in a relationship with you."

"But Gale, I don't want to not be with you! What if we take forever to find out what they're planning and hiding from me? I want us to be together!"

"I'll still come for you every night, just like tonight. We'll still be together. I don't like this either but I think it may be the safest thing to do while we investigate a little."

"You can't spend every night awake in the woods with me Gale. You'll be exhausted. When would you sleep?"

"I'll figure that out, don't worry about it."

"Fine. Let's just make it fast okay? The sooner I can be yours again the happier I will be." I tell him in reluctant agreement of our temporary plan.

"You'll never stop being mine. I promise." He says as we fall into another long, soft kiss.