Loki basically moved in after that night, discontinuing his room at the B&B. They spent the summer doing everything together. They explored New Mexico on the weekends, and spent the evenings watching movies and arguing over how the Doctor would survive season six. The nights were for sex. Hot, sweaty, glorious sex.
They didn't really talk about the future at all. Loki thought it genuinely just didn't occur to Darcy, but the closer it got to autumn the more he obsessed over it. He had classes to teach back in Boston, he had a life. And he doubted Darcy would be up to following him back. She had her internship here in New Mexico for another five months, and then she had her family back in Virginia.
He couldn't really picture her being crazy about dropping everything and coming back to Boston with him. He wasn't even entirely sure that he wanted her to come back with him. She was amazing. He was sure he was at least halfway in love with her. But...she was too perfect. Everything about their relationship was so good and felt so right that it freaked him out a little bit when he thought about it. Their was literally nothing about her that irritated him, except maybe that she was so absent-minded, and yet he found that more amusing than irritating. He couldn't imagine himself with another woman, ever. Never having been good at commitment, this made a part of him want to cut and run. The rest of him wanted to hang on to this perfect thing with everything he had. The thought of going back home to Boston and an apartment that didn't have Darcy and her clutter struck him as incredibly sad and unwelcome. More and more he'd been dwelling on his estrangement with his family, too, and wondering if he should try and do something about it.
As it got to the first week of August he got a bit panicked. Their was a desperate tone every time they made love, as if he was somehow trying to convince her of something that he didn't understand himself. Darcy finally called him out on it one night.
"Loki, baby, is something wrong?" she asked as she lay on her side in bed to look up at him.
Loki sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. He'd known they'd have to talk about it, but he hated having to actually do it.
"Darcy," he said, "It's almost mid-August."
Darcy looked confused. "Yeah, I know. I love the fall...?"
"I have to go back to Boston in another week. This...it's almost over."
"Oh," Darcy looked shocked. "Right. I mean, of course. Yeah. I don't know what-" she shook her head, "I don't know what I was thinking. Obviously, you have to go back to your life. Because you're not...you don't live here-" she looked like she might start crying, and Loki's heart pinched.
"Ssshh, Darcy, honey, it's okay," he said, stroking her hair. God she had silky hair. "We could try a long-distance thing..." he suggested, though it was halfhearted. He didn't like the idea of half of Darcy. He wanted all of Darcy.
Darcy made a face. "Long-distance? Those never work though, and they always end badly. Plus you have that thing about talking on the phone." And then it dawned on her. "Are we- does that mean-?"
Loki's heart dropped to his stomach. He didn't know where he had expected this conversation to go, but he didn't want it to end up here. "Do you want to break up?"
"No!" Darcy cried. "But...I just don't see what else we're supposed to do." She looked up at him, her eyes wide and sad.
They just looked at each other.
"Do we have to break up right now?" she asked quietly.
His heart turned over. He hated to see her so sad. "No," he said. "We could just wait 'till I have to go if you want. Would you prefer that?"
Darcy nodded. She wanted as much time with him as she could get.
They made love slowly, as if memorizing each other. They didn't sleep much that night. They wanted their memories to be really vivid.
Loki's last week passed in a snap, seeming to spring up on them out of nowhere- and yet all through the week it had been as if there was a sword hanging above them, just waiting to drop. Their last day together Darcy had taken a sick day and they'd spent it walking in the park and talking, much like they had on their first date. It seemed so long ago- a lifetime ago. It was hard for either of them to remember what it was like before the other.
"So this is it," Darcy said.
"Yeah." Loki studied Darcy's face, absorbing how beautiful and just...Darcy-like she was.
"Well, if anything changes- if you have to move-" Darcy broke off. "Well. You have my number."
"I do. And you have mine, if Boston ever sounded appealing..."
Darcy smiled sadly. "I'll always remember this," she said. "Even if we don't...ever see each other again. I'll always remember this. You're really-" she blinked back tears, "You're really amazing, Loki."
Loki found it hard to swallow past the lump in his throat. He wasn't normally very comfortable talking about his emotions, but this was Darcy, and this was now, and it just had to be said.
"You too, Darcy," He said. "You're the most beautiful, funniest, best woman I've ever met. I've really enjoyed these months with you. Jesus," he said, shaking his head, "I think they might have been the best months of my life."
Darcy did start crying then. It tore at him. He hugged her tight as they stood on the path by the pond, the swan nowhere in sight. She smelled like her fruity shampoo, and he loved it- would never be able to smell that shampoo again and not think of her. He lay his cheek against her hair and rubbed her back soothingly. Blinking hard against the impulse to cry himself, he said, "Don't worry. It'll be okay." Though he wasn't sure what he was talking about. It sure didn't feel like anything was going to be okay.
"I don't want you to go," Darcy said into his chest, her arms wound tightly around his waist.
"I don't want to go either," he said. Fuck, he thought. I'm going to miss everything about her.
His phone's alarm went off then, out of place and unwelcome in the quiet of the park, signaling that he should be leaving now to catch his flight. They walked back to the parking lot across the street, having parked by the coffee shop again.
Loki took one last look at her as he buckled his helmet and slid his jacket on. God she looked beautiful. Heartbreakingly so. She looked up at him with her big, blue eyes and he couldn't help kissing her. Her lips were so soft and giving. He made a note of it: Don't forget that, Loki. Don't forget any of this.
It was a bittersweet kiss, filled with longing and regret. He forced himself to pull away.
"I hope I'll be seeing you," he said, mentally taking a picture of her.
Darcy laughed sadly. "Me too."
And he drove off.