Author's note: thank you very much for all the reviews...!

February

Chapter Forty-One: Time Out

A matter of inches. Barely two. Yet it resulted enough for her to spill her coffee on the file she had been reading while trying to grab a pen.

Swearing between clenched teeth, Jane didn't even bother to make sure the hot beverage wouldn't make it to her pants. It was too late anyway and brown spots had already appeared on her white shirt as well. She sighed but as her lips began to tremble, she realized that anger had already left her and within a second tears began to well up in her eyes.

Tears of fatigue and frustration.

She buried her face in her hands – tried to take a deep breath to calm down – but it wouldn't work. She could feel the dampness slip through her fingers and embrace her chin of a cruel caress. She stood up – too loudly to her own taste – and rushed to the bathroom. She didn't want anyone to see her in such a state.

Locked behind a door she found too thin nonetheless, she splashed some fresh water on her face – the drops melting into her tears that wouldn't stop – and looked up at her reflection on the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy, her cheeks abnormaly white. Way too pale. She looked too thin as well.

Frowning – pursing her lips in annoyance – she focused on her breathing as Maura had taught her and soon her sobs began to subside. Yet it was still obviously she had been crying all the time.

She had reached a limit. Her nerves couldn't handle the slightest thing, now.

She needed a break, a time out. Not necessarily out of Boston – anyway she couldn't right now – but just a couple of days without human traffic references nor pregnancy scare nor anything. Just some hours far from all that stress that weighed too much upon her shoulders right now.

She tried her best to hide it – her stupid pride pushing her to pretend – but she knew that it didn't work out at all. She could see it in people's eyes, from her mother to Guadalupe. They could read through it. Her game was vain. If only she accepted it and recognized that – perhaps – she wasn't as strong as she feigned to be.

Without a word – as discreet as possible – she went back to her desk and opened a new window on her computer. The search bar appeared on the screen and she began to type. She needed to find an escape – in Boston – and now.

…

Laying down on the couch of her office, Maura smiled at Jane as she saw her pass the door but kept on chewing on the pencil; a few papers resting on her stomach. She had taken her stilettos off and put her feet up on a couple of cushions. Music playing in the background.

If it weren't for the persistent smell of disinfectant typical from the morgue, the medical examiner could have easily made her office pass for her own house.

The brunette sat on the arm of the couch and smiled back. "Congratulations. You're officially off work for the next twenty-four hours."

Maura blinked – frowned – and tilted her head on a side while staring at her wife with perplexity. This wasn't true. She had to work. She wanted to, actually. Her job was a great help to make her forget their last scare. She needed it or else she would focus on nothing but the way she had dreaded a miscarriage. Thankfully nothing wrong had happened and she had been discharged a few hours later. But still.

"Would you mind being more specific? I know that there is not a single autopsy scheduled for the day but my job consists in actually a lot more tasks than opening a corpse and study the organs."

She should have been working on an article she had to write for a medical publication. She hadn't had a chance to make any research on the matter nor regroup her thoughts yet while it was due for the end of the month.

She hadn't lost herself in procrastination but lately her life had mostly revolved around her pregnancy. She was about to reach the last trimester. It was a victory in itself and she needed to be extra careful if she wanted to get as close as possible to her due date.

"I've just booked a full day at the spa for the two of us, starting at 1pm this afternoon. Lunch and dinner included."

Maura smirked. It was tempting to say the least. But just impossible. She couldn't leave her office like that in the middle of the day without any warning. She was the Chief Medical Examiner. She was paid to be there and take decisions. Sighing, she shook her head and bit her lower lip. "You know I can't do that... And how will they massage my back since I can't lie face down?"

Not bothered the slightest bit by the question, Jane slid on the couch – grabbed the cushions – and took Maura's feet to rest them on her lap. "They have a special program for pregnant women: from massages to ultrasound music for the babies supposed to rock them to sleep. Very soothing. As for your office... It's fine. You've skipped conventions this year because of your pregnancy. Your staff is used to deal with everything in your absence. Make it as if you were on call. They still can reach you anytime."

Pout. That was really tempting.

Forty-minutes later – wrapped in a comfortable bathrobe – Maura cast a glance through the window of the last floor and smiled. The building overlooked Boston Common, its usual green replaced by a land of whiteness as it hadn't stopped snowing. The sound of the flames cracking in the fireplace on her left was relaxing, just like the stifled steps of the employees walking on the expensive carpets. She turned her head around and locked her eyes with Jane's. The Italian had rarely looked so serene and happy. Or at least not lately.

They both had been awfully scared. Maura for knowing that she shouldn't have been bleeding and Jane for seeing her so panicked. A few hours of rest had luckily been enough – the twins doing just fine – yet the honey blonde had finally seen it as a sign for her to slow down and adapt. She didn't want to go through this again.

She didn't want to go through the same nightmare.

It wouldn't have happened in the first place if she had spent more time sitting down and relaxing. She had reached her limits and would learn from her mistakes.

"You are the sweetest person in the world." Maura's voice – oddly hoarse – resounded loud yet quiet in the large solarium. She knew that her wife didn't necessarily feel comfortable before such compliments but it never stopped her from telling them out loud nonetheless. She felt the urge to do so and – perhaps – Jane would do just fine with them one day. In a while.

The brunette let a laugh pass her lips and raised an unconvinced eyebrow. "My brothers would just not agree with you, here. Ask them how many times I sent them to the ER... That's not really sweet action, to me!"

"Then your behavior with me must be the exception that confirms the rule." Maura's smile faded into a delicate melancholy as she turned her head back towards the windows. "I love you." And I am sorry for having scared you.

Jane blushed – the shade piercing through her black curls as she looked down at her lap – and smiled. "If it is confession time... I'd like to apologize for having put nail varnish on Bass. It wasn't intended. Really..."

Needless to say that Maura's scare had completely swept away the argument they had had about such incident but it had left a bitter taste for Jane. She needed to turn the page properly instead of feigning that it hadn't ocurred in the first place.

Maura opened her mouth to reply but turned her head instead and made a face. Playing with the belt of her bathrobe, she took her time – pondered the words – and finally sighed.

"You could have – at least – chosen a color that suited his shell." But her fake anger melted immediately into laughter and she bent over to plant a light kiss on Jane's lips. "May I ask you a question?"

"Of course!" Surprised by the question in itself, Jane sat up on her deck-chair and – her curiosity a tad piqued – waited for the honey blonde to resume.

"How did you manage to take a day off, today? I can adapt my schedule rather easily compared to you. You already took one the day I..." It was hard to even mention it. "You know, the day I needed to go to the hospital. You don't have such unlimited amount of days off."

For long seconds, Jane wondered whether she should find her wife's rational argumentation funny or – let's face it – rather scaring. Why was she thinking about that in the first place? She should have been enjoying the time being instead of looking for an explanation for such details.

Yet the brunette obliged.

"I have a very understanding boss." She made a pause, cast a glance at Maura. "That and the fact that if I keep on spilling coffee on official files, I might simply be kicked off the crime unit."

It was only part of the truth. It hadn't taken Cavanaugh a long time to notice that she needed a break if only for a few hours. Everything had been dragging her down, lately. She had reached her limits.

Not that Maura needed to know about it. Jane's role was to be supportive, and strong enough for both.

"But don't get used to it either. That won't happen every day, sadly." Maura's laugh made her smile. Yes that was exactly the way it had to be.