Ch. 18 Past and Present

Tabatha yawned as she climbed out of bed the next day, rubbing her eyes she wrapped her robe around her. Walking over to her window she saw light snow falling, covering the grounds of Hogwarts with a shimmering layer. It was beautiful and magical just what Christmas Eve should be she thought to herself. Dressing quickly she walked over to her door, and as she stepped though it was surprised to see she was alone.

"Sev..." Tabatha called out, "Severus you here?" She looked in all the small alcoves and storage closets thoughout the office.

Finally she walked over to his bed room door and gave the smallest knock.

"Sev you in here?" she heard no reply but the door which was not fully latched swung open.

Tabatha looked around the potions office like a student trying to make sure no one was around before they snuck out of their dorms, and then slowly stepped into Severus room still looking around.

"Hello" she called again, again no answer.

Tabatha, now more confident, stepped right into Severus' bedroom. She had not been in here since the first night she came to co habit the potions chambers with her now dear friend. Time coupled with the fact that Severus was a bit, well for lack of a better word, private made Tabatha feel a little out of place in her friends room.

As she glanced around she noticed how neat and tidy his room was. His bed was made perfectly however she noticed his Slytherin quilt was nowhere to be seen; a plain black one lay in its place. Tabatha then walked over to a small bookcase that stood close to his bed; looking at it you could see it was the only evidence of anything personal in the room. On the top shelf there was a line of photographs all perfectly placed wit not a speck of dust on them.

Tabatha sat on the edge of his bed and peered at the shelf. The first picture in a tattered wooden pane seemed to be a family portrait. In the center was a young boy; his hair was longish, black and greasy. His black eyes peered out blankly and he wore no smile.

"..Sev..." Tabatha whispered letter her fingertip touch the glass pane

Behind the boy were two adults, the woman to his right looked in many ways like the young boy, but her face was not just blank it was worn, tattered, and her eyes, they seemed all but dead. The man standing next to woman looked much more alive that was for sure, but there was no kindness in his face or his eyes. All three were standing in front of a very run down house, even the trees on the property looked defeated. Tabatha leaned down closer to the picture, what she saw turned her blood cold. The man was holding the young boy in place by the scurf of his collar.

Tabatha's jaw tightened, anger filled her. Her dislike and disdain for cruel people was extremely apparent, swallowing hard she forced herself to look at the next picture.

This one was in a rather peculiar frame. It was created from popsicle sticks which were glued together and it was painted in colors green and silver. Tabatha again saw the boy, now older, maybe close to ten. His hair was longer but still greasy and his eyes were just as black, but they were full of warmth, and on his lips he had a perfect smile. Tabatha noticed that his eyes were not looking directly ahead, no his gaze was over to the other child standing next to him that had her hand wrapped around his shoulder. This child was an adorable little girl. She had long red messy hair, a smile that was very warm and deep green eyes that were staring directly outward. They both were wearing every large adult size black tee shirts that had been cut down the center to make homemade robes, and in the girls hand there was a piece of paper, which read:

"Lily and Severus Slytherin class of 1978"

Tabatha smiled down at the photograph and gently picked it up. Turning over the picture she saw a small inscription.

9 January 1970

Happy birthday Sev

Always Lil

Tabatha turned the picture over again and looked at it more closely. Sev looked so devotedly to the girl, to Lily. She could tell at once Sev loved that girl, and really hoped that girl had loved him back in return. Smiling she carefully she placed the scared gift back and looked over to the next.

This one was in a standard black frame, again she saw the boy, but now he was older fifteen or sixteen. His hair was longer; his face was much closer to that of her own beloved friend. The boy was sitting down among a group of students around his same age; they were all in Hogwarts robes. In the back an older man stood looking proudly out and in front of the group was a plaque that read:

"Slug Club 1977"

Tabatha looked back at the younger Severus. "He is just as handsome now as he was then" she mused to herself.

Then she looked at his eyes, they were no longer warm, no they were cold, empty and miserable and still his gaze was averted. Tabatha followed the line of sight from Severus' eyes and four students down she found what he was glaring at. There she was, the pretty red haired Lily with shimmering green eyes smiling happily out. Tabatha lip trembled as she felt the heat of tears come to her eyes; evidently Lily did not love him back.

Feeling her heart break for her friend a tear slide down her check, Severus had deserved to be loved. Anyone could tell from just looking at those photographs that his devotion to Lily was stronger than most could ever hope to find in a partner. Tabatha closed her eyes, she felt horrible for making judgments from only looking at photographs, and tried to stop herself from disliking Lily.

Maybe she had a good reason to not return his affection, maybe they had some huge falling out and it was completely Sev's fault, maybe she just wasn't in to him, which logically was also a valid reason. Tabatha knew that it was her own attachment to Severus that was clouding her mind, but she really didn't care. Lily hurt his heart and because of that Tabatha couldn't allow herself to give her any vindication. Whatever happened between them Lily should have looked past it, and really how could someone not be into Severus she looked back at his picture, he was amazing in pretty much every way.

Tabatha looked at his small collection again; Severus had kept these pictures for a reason, in them they held every person he had ever loved. Tabatha's chest tighten, and before she could stop herself a small wish that maybe someday she too could be on this shelf entered her mind. Getting up from the bed she stood up and walked around to the small window on the other side of it, it was still snowing and breakfast would be soon, she should head up stairs.

As she turned around her eye caught something, there laying on Severus' night stand was a clipping from the Daily Prophet, it was a photograph of the crowd from the first Quiddich match. Picking up the clipping she looked closer at it, and her heart started to beat faster. There sitting in the stands very prominently was again that black haired boy, but now a man, the man she had grown to hold so dear.

In this photograph his face looked much warmer then she was used to seeing, and his eyes, they were soft just like they were in the popsicle stick framed picture. In fact they even had the same averted gaze however this time his line of sight went to someone different, this time it was directed to the girl next to him, and that girl was Tabatha herself.

Tabatha's stomach flipped and she bit her lip but before she could mentally even start to sort out the billion feelings and reactions she was having she heard a small voice, coming down from near the floor

"Excuse me Ma'am"

Tabatha was startled and jumped back a bit before looking down and seeing that it was her favorite house elf Mipsy.

"Oh Mipsy" Tabatha giggled, "You scared the living daylights out of me".

"Mipsy is so sorry Ma'am" Mipsy stilled looked around nervously "Why is it always find you in Professors Snape's room?"

Tabatha smirked down at the elf "you just have good timing."

Tabatha put the photograph back on the night stand and walked into the main potions office with Mipsy.

"So Mipsy what can I do for you this beautiful Christmas Eve morning?" Tabatha beamed happily.

"Headmaster Dumbledore would like to see you in his office" Mipsy smiled back at her

"Oh, well... ok" Tabatha looked around "Maybe I should write Sev a note…" she thought out loud.

"Professor Snape is with him now; you'll probably see him yourself." Mipsy quipped as they both walked towards the door.

Tabatha nodded and followed Mipsy up to Dumbledore's office, wondering why the Headmaster would call them both.

Finally reaching the office Mipsy had Tabatha wait in the hallway for a moment and then returned.

"Headmaster Dumbledore will see you in a few moments he's just finishing speaking with Professor Snape. He thanked you for your patience and promised he wouldn't be long." Mipsy smiled. "Will we see you in the kitchens today at eleven?"

Tabatha smiled widely then looked over at a chair near the door and sat down quietly "yes of course please have that butter out for me it has to be soft".

"It's already done Ma'am." Mipsy walked over to Tabatha and looked up very sincerely into her eyes them she let her small hand rest on Tabatha's knee. "You're the first witch to come down the kitchens since the great Helga Hufflepuff herself, you have no idea what this means to all us house elves."

Tabatha looked down and placed her hand over Mipsy's and said in a very sweet voice "I expect you'll see me many times in their then".

Mipsy's eyes flashed with excitement and pride "Anytime Ma'am anytime!" then she turned hurried away happily.