It's been a couple months now. Daniel hasn't bothered to come for me and I may or may not have gave Andy a blowjob in the elevator whilst on tour –shifty eyes- meeting fans after the shows was amazing though. To see how much impact I put on people's lives is unbelievable to me. But, I and Andy are starting to lose our touch. I get awkward. I don't know why. And we've been having the stupidest fights. I love him, I really do but I don't understand why I'm being such a fucking dick to him. He's picking me up soon, I hope we don't fight. I really love him, I always will. I heard a beep out the front, grabbed my bag and guitar, walking out to his car. I put my things in the boot and got in the car.
"hey" I smiled
"hey baby" he kissed my cheek, I smiled and put my seat belt on.
"I ordered pizza for dinner. Free pizza night at work"
"okay, sounds good"
"you know it" he smiled and drove away; we sang to the radio and smiled at each other. If only everyday with him was like this. I'm sick of the pathetic fights. We got to his place and got out. He insisted to grab my stuff and we walked inside, I crashed on the couch and started watching TV. He came and sat next to me, wrapping his arms around me. I smiled and sat up on the couch, cuddling into him as he wrapped his arms around me. He was amazing. The bell rang, Andy got up and answered it, it was the pizza. He took it and set it on the coffee table, I opened it and frowned.
"I told you I don't like mushrooms on pizza"
"Sorry baby"
"if you loved me you would of remembered"
"IF I loved you? I do love you, so much. I just ordered the pizza and didn't think."
"well maybe you should think"
he sighed "I'm fucking over this shit Shaun!"
"what do you mean?"
"all this fighting for no reason, the awkwardness. What happened to us?"
"w-well…I don't know"
"I told you this relationship would make it hard on the band! I fucking told you. Now stop being a fucking Diva and just pick off the damn mushroom!"
"you know what! Fuck you! I'm done" I stood up and grabbed my bag
"Shaun…please, don't go"
"why?! So we fight more? I'm doing this for the sake of the fucking band. I'm over this, you're starting to get on my nerves Andy"
"fuck, I regret this"
"EXCUSE me? You regret what? The fact we made out and basically had sex. The fact that I sucked you off, the fact that I love you, the fact that I want you. What?"
"I wish I fucked you when I had the chance, maybe you wouldn't be such a whore"
"fuck you! I'm over it Andy, it's OVER!" I grabbed my stuff and went to Bradie's room, I had nowhere to go. Bradie looked at me "Shaun?"
I bursted into tears "I-I'm such a fuck up, over fucking pizza"
"what Shaun? Calm down"
"me and A-Andy, it's over"
"what about the band?"
"the b-band is fine, that's why I broke up with him. For the sake of our band"
"come here" he patted next to him, I sat there and looked at him.
"you'll be okay Shaun, trust me, you're strong" I heard a big bang and clenched my eyes shut, more tears ran. I didn't reply. I rested my head on Bradie's shoulder and started to cry. I hate myself more now. What have I done?"

ANDY P.O.V

As soon as Shaun walked into Bradie's room I started to break down. I couldn't of just kept my mouth shut and said 'sorry baby, I love you, I'm really sorry' not 'you're a whore' 'calm down you diva'. He hates it when I call him a diva, it's true though. If nothing is his way he throws a mass fit. No shut up Andy. You just lost the love of your life, and it's all your fault. I stood up and through my tears a threw a punch at the wall, making a big was I such a fuck up? I stormed to my room and slammed the door, grabbing the blade from my bed side drawer. "Think Andy, is he worth it?" I whispered to myself. He is worth it…I pressed it to my skin and dragged down slowly, not too hard though, it left a scratch. I think it's going blunt. I sighed and got up, walking across to Bradie's room, opening the door. I stood there awkwardly as I saw Shaun crying on Bradie's shoulder, Bradie was watching spiderman with his arm around Shaun. I bit my lip.
"what are you doing Andy?"
"I-I came to apologize"
Shaun didn't even look at me. I felt so worthless.
"he's too upset Andy"
"and you don't think I'm not? Look" I went and kneeled beside the bedside where Shaun is. "I love you Shaun, I do and I'm really fucking sorry, I didn't mean a word I said. I love you, remember that. I-I understand if you don't want me back or not for a while. I completely understand. I'm giving you time. I'll wait for you, forever. Understand? I'm really fucking sorry…I'll be in my room" I stood up and went to my room, closing the door. I don't know where this is going. I sighed and looked at myself in the mirror.
"Worthless piece of shit!" I said quietly, I was starting to break down, I breathed in and out deeply. I hate myself so much right now.

SHAUN P.O.V

A couple weeks have passed since the breakup. I still love Andy but I can't handle being with him. I can't be with him for the band. I picked up my phone and dialled a number. Brooke's number. I held it to my ear as it started to ring.
"Hello?" I heard her happy voice say
"Hey Brooke"
"Oh, Shaun. Hi"
"H-How's things?"
"excellent now, what about you?"
"great…uhm, I was wondering if you wanted to you know, meet up with me soonish at the entrance?"
"oh Shaun! I'd love to, see you then"
"see you" I hanged up.
I know what I'm doing. I'm trying to get over Andy. That's all I need to do right now. I need a nice relationship with a woman. Not a man. The band has had so many fights lately. I need to sort everything out and my love life is a start.

Later we met up at the entrance, she was wearing a nice pink dress, kind revealed her boobs but she looked good. I loved the way her blonde hair cascades down her face.
"Hey Brooke"
"Hey Shaun" she smiled
"What do you wanna get?"
"I feel like an ice tea"
"okay, I'll go get that. One second"
"Okay" she smiled and sat at the table, I went and got me a coffee and her ice tea, paid for it then carried it back to the table, sitting down.
"thanks Shaun"
"no problemo" I smiled, having a sip as she took a sip of her tea.
"so, how's things"
"ah, same old same old"
"how's Bradie?"
"Bradie's great"
"and Andy?"
"I-I don't know about Andy" I bit my lip
"why..?"
"Because….just because"
"Shaun, tell me. What happened to Andy?"
I sighed, if I want this to work out I can't lie to her "well, me and Andy had a tough time in highschool, we were bullied, I STILL get bullied but yeah, after a while me and Andy kinda..."
"kinda what?" she bit her lip
"fell in love…"
"so…you're gay?"
"no! I'm bi! He's the only guy I like though, it's weird. I don't know."
"oh..kay.."
"Brooke, you don't understand"
"I do understand, I'm just trying to process this through. So, you and Andy, were in a relationship? What happened?"
"we lost touch, we started fighting ALL the time. We had a pathetic fight, I took something too seriously and the-"
"what did you take too seriously?"
"he called me a Diva, I know. It's stupid."
"no not at all…go on"
"so yeah, we broke up. He's still kind of miserable but I don't- I can't be with him again okay?"
"why not?"
"I loved him, I don't know if I still have feelings for him but recently…I've been thinking about you…"
"really?" she smiled
"yeah" I bit my lip
"so…"
"Brooke, can you be my girlfriend?
"Shaun"
"what?"
"I'd love to" she smiled as did i
"can I do something? And I warn you, I'm shit at relationships"
"I doubt it. And sure"
I laughed a bit and stood up a bit, leaning across the table, putting my hand on her cheek and closed my eyes, leaning in. I touched her lips softly with mine and she moved her lips in motion of mine. The kiss felt good, amazing. It was…different. I pulled away slowly and smirked slightly.
"wow…" she bit her lip
I giggled "you're an amazing kisser"
"so are you mister" she laughed, I blushed
"wanna come back to my place?"
"sure" she smiled
"we have to walk…I don't know how to drive. Wow, I'm already a shit boyfriend" she nudged me as we stood up.
"shut up, you are not."
"I can't drive"
"neither can I. Calm down" she giggled and grabbed my hand, linking our fingers. I smiled.
We walked all the way to my place holding hands and giggling, talking about school and so on. We walked in my house and I kissed her cheek quickly and walked up to the lounge, holding hands, I looked at her smiling as we walked in. she dropped her hand and didn't have eye contact with me.
"Andy!"
"Brooke…" I turned my head to that familiar voice
"Andy…w-what are you doing here?"
"Shaun, I'll be in your room…" Brooke walked away awkwardly, Andy stood up.
" what the fuck Shaun…"
"what?"
"I was thinking about asking you to be mine again but once again you've clearly moved on"
I bit my lip "I still like you in that way..Brooke's my girlfriend now"
"uh…huh"
"Andy-"
"How'd it happen?"
"W-We met up at the entrance and one thing led to another and we kissed"
"is she better than me?"
"h-huh?"
"Is she a better kisser than me"
"w-well…she was…different"
"ha, okay. I'm just going to go. See you at practice"
"And-"
"no, just…shut up" Andy stormed out and Brooke came back in, I sat on the couch slowly.
"Shaun, are you okay?"
"I'm fine babe, come here"
"okay…" She sat next to me, I put my hand on her cheek and kissed her lightly.
"I like you a lot Brooke, okay?"
"but you still love Andy"
"I need to get over that. I need to grow up"
"Shaun-"
"no Brooke, I want you"
"o-okay"
"Sorry.." I said after a while
"about what?"
"the yelling…"
"it's fine, I just want you to calm down…" she wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head on my shoulder, I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and kissed her soft blonde head. I don't know what it was about Brooke, I think I love her and Andy. Brooke is just numbing the pain I felt from Andy. The kiss was amazing but Andy's kisses were just as divine. What the fucks wrong with me? I don't know if I love her. I don't know if I know what love is anymore.

ANDY P.O.V

I stormed out of Shaun's house. I can't fucking believe him. This is the second time he's done this. He said her kisses were different. I bet you she knows about me and Shaun. That look on her face when she saw me. She knew she should not have held his hand. I just in the car and sped home. A few tears shed, I focussed on the road but Shaun's at the back of my head. I'm so broken. I feel useless. I can't let myself be with him again, I'll just get worse and worse. Man, why was I such a fuck up?

it's been a year now. Brooke gave Shaun a haircut, his old amazing hair. Gone. Oh well I guess. I got a Maurice tattoo on my right wrist, the band is basically keeping me alive right now…I'm going to Shaun's house for a catch up and she'll be there. Fuck. I Made my way up to the front door and knocked, Shaun answered at smiled at me.
"Hey"
"Hi" I walked in and up to the lounge, playing with my sleeves, I looked up to see Brooke.
"Hey…Andy" She said softly
"Brooke" I walked to Shaun's fridge and grabbed a drink, Shaun came up and went to the fridge.
"we're having barbeque for dinner" he said, pulling the meat out.
"kay, that's cool with me"
"just cook me a little bit baby" Brooke added
"I know your usual, beautiful" I looked at his smile. I wish that smile was for me. I miss that smile.
"okay baby" she smiled and kissed his cheek, grabbing a cruiser from the fridge quickly.
"be back soon" He smiled, walking out to the barbeque. I sighed and sat on the couch.
"So…Andy" Brooke said, walking and sitting on the couch opposite me.
"mhm?"
"how you going?"
"fine. The usual. You?"
"perfect, Shaun's a great guy"
"I know" I mumbled
she sighed "you need to get over him"
"He was mine first you know"
"and you fucked up"
"no, we lost touch"
"sure, okay" Brooke giggled, I stood up.
"fuck you! You know nothing. You're some pathetic blondey who shows her tits off to get amazing men!"
She stood up "Well at least I didn't call my boyfriend a whore and leave him"
"JUST FUCK OFF!"
"you're just jealous!"
"What the fuck, no!"
"J.E.A.L.O.U.S"
"NO! FUCK, GRR, FUCK THIS. I'M GOING. TELL SHAUN I DON'T WANT HIS FUCKING MEAT"
"FINE!"
"I HATE YOU!" I screamed and ran out. I hate Brooke. I can't stand her. Just, ugh. She makes me want to die. I'm sick of this. Fucking hell. I kept storming to my car which I parked around the corner, I heard running footsteps behind me and a man grabbed my shoulder, I tuned around to see Shaun.
"Andy…"
"S-Shut up" I burst into tears, He wrapped his arms around me. Wow, he has gotten musclier.
"Andy, calm down…It's not your fault, at all. I love Brooke okay? But there is still a piece of my heart which remains for you"
I looked up at him "k-kay…"
"Andy, I need to go…I-…bye" he walked away.
"bye…" I sighed shakily and walked away, getting into my car and driving home.