Chapter 51

I'm anxious to get home to speak to my father. I saw him arrive during the viewing and I can't wait to see if any progress at all was made regarding my marriage contract. I dash inside and find him pulling our dinner plates out in the kitchen.

"Spaghetti and meatballs tonight Madge. Hope you're hungry!" He says as he lifts the lid to show me.

"Looks great. How was your trip? Were you able to make any progress?" I ask not waiting for us to even sit down before I jump right in.

"Not exactly."

We sit at the dining table and I pick at my spaghetti before I finally blurt out "You have to give me something, anything. I have to know what you're trying to do."

"Madge, it's confidential."

"If it's about me, how does that make it confidential? Please!"

"All I can tell you is that I can't tell you anything. It's better that way,"

"Did mother know you were trying to over ride her plan?'

"Yes. I was very clear about my intentions. She didn't agree but she knew her plan would make you angry eventually. I think there was always a part of her that hoped I would find a way to keep you safe from both the reaping and from the marriage contract."

"I read my contract. I know I should have asked before looking through your office but I wanted to know what the details were."

"You shouldn't riffle through my things Madge. You know better than that. But you also deserve to know what your fate holds so I don't see how I can really argue that part of it. Next time though, I'll thank you to remember your manners and ask permission."

"How can it be a legally binding contract if I never signed it? And if only one of my parents signed it?"

"Your mother had every authority to sign on your behalf. My signature is irrelevant. Madge, please trust that I am working to get you out of this mess, really I am. I have been for many years."

"Then you have to give me something to lean on, something to give me hope. Because honestly right now, I'm ready to just bail, to just run away from all of it."

"Madge Undersee! You will remember yourself!" He says sternly.

"I'm just trying to get you to see how scared and frustrated I am." I explain. I know I shouldn't say such things to him even if I do feel like running away.

"I won't tell you because you won't like it. You will hate me for it. And it's confidentiality is crucial."

"Tell me what you're doing." I say through gritted teeth.

"Fine. You want to know? You think that will make it easier? It won't but here you go. I have to prove that your mother was insane. That she was mentally incapable of signing such an agreement. I've been having Capitol doctors documenting her health for years, ever since she signed that damn marital contract. I knew the minute I read it that our only chance of getting out of it would be to show that she isn't sane. I tried to tell her this in the beginning but she wouldn't have any part of it. She only wanted you safe from the Reaping. She wouldn't claim insanity so I had to step in and do it for her."

"What do you mean you did it for her? How can you claim her insanity?"

"Madge, you don't need to know details like that."

"What did you do?"

He puts his face in his hands and sighs deeply before quietly answering me. "I needed her to truly go insane if I wanted to have any shot at freeing you from this deal. I had to give her something to make her ill, something to make her mind incoherent. I've been giving her tracker jacker venom injections for years, gradually building the dosage over the years. It's eaten away at her mind and made her extremely ill. I have a Capitol review council doing surveillance on your mother, hoping to prove in the next few months that she was not in her right mind when she signed that contract."

He never looks up at me the whole time he speaks. I'm so stunned that I can't even find my voice. He is the one who made her sick? He's been poisoning her for years? My chin quivers and the sense of ultimate betrayal falls over me. The same sense of betrayal I felt when I found out about the contract in the first place. This is just one big nightmare spiraling out of control.

"I'm not proud of what I've done to your mother but I'd do it again if I thought it would help you. Helping you out of this has always been my only intention, my only goal." He says tearfully as he stands and leaves me sitting alone at the table.

I sit for awhile shell shocked before deciding to just get out of here. I calmly leave the house and go out the front door, not even bothering to take my key with me. I'm not crying and I think that must be only because I've cried all my tears out already. I don't even know what to think anymore. I walk aimlessly around town for an hour or two, maybe more, before my feet take me to the Seam, leading me to Gale.

I'm not halfway to his house when Thom sees me.

"Madge? What the hell are you doing walking around by yourself after dark like this around here?"

"What? Oh, I don't know. I just needed some air so I went for a walk and ended up here. I'm going to see Gale." I tell him, struggling to make sense of what I'm doing. I was coming to see Gale, right? Or did I just walk here without meaning to? I don't even think I know anymore. I'm just numb, my mind isn't processing things correctly.

"Do you know what time it is? It's after midnight. Does he know you're coming?"

"Midnight?" I echo trying to account for where all the time went. How long had I wondered around before he found me?

"Are you okay?" He asks putting his hands on my shoulders and looking at me strangely.

I just stare back at him, unable to form any words. He looks around as if he's trying to decide what to do. Finally he takes my hand and I let him lead me the rest of the way to Gale's house. The next thing I know Gale is picking me up and walking with me. I don't know where we're going. I just hear the crunch of the gravel beneath his feet and I feel nothing. After that, I see Mrs. Everdeen. She doesn't seem like herself though. She seems focused and alive. She talks to me and gives me something to drink. After awhile I must fall asleep because the next thing I'm semi-aware of is hearing Gale and Mrs. Everdeen speaking quietly about me.

"He just found her like that. She wasn't making sense and seemed so out of it that he brought her to me. She wasn't even talking by the time I saw her. I didn't know where else to take her."

"I don't know what happened but she seems to be in some sort of shock. It's the minds way of self preservation. She'll be okay though. Just let her rest. She drank the tea and it had a mix of herbs to help her relax and once she's rested she may be able to focus better and tell you what's happened to her."

"She"ll be okay?"

"Yes, I think so. You really love this one, don't you?"

"Yes. She's the one."

"Don't worry, she'll be fine. Just stay by her side and wait for her to rest."

I think I fall asleep again because the next thing I know, I'm wrapped in a blanket and Gale's holding my hand in his as he sleeps next to me. I sit up and try to orient myself to my surroundings. I'm at the Everdeens, laying on their kitchen table. Everything slowly floods back into my mind. The conversation with my father, his confession, walking, Thom, Gale, all of it. Gale feels me sit up and he wakes.

"Hey, how do you feel?"

"Embarrassed."

"You scared the hell out of me you know. Thom too. Mrs. Everdeen says you must've been in shock about something. Did something happen?"

I tell him about my father and the venom he'd been slowly killing my mother with as a way to free me from marrying Mr. Crane. I tell him how I went out for a walk and how I just felt numb and how my mind couldn't process things the right way.

"Oh Madge. I'm so sorry."

"I'm so tired Gale. I just can't deal with this anymore. It's too much. This is just too much."

"I know, I know." He says as he pulls me from the table and into his lap so he can hug me to his chest. I fall asleep again and the next thing I know, Mrs. Everdeen is waking me up.

"It's time to head into town now, for the viewing."

"Where's Gale?" I ask looking around, curious how I didn't wake when he left. Why didn't he wake me? He always wakes me before he leaves.

"He just went home to get dressed. He'll meet us on the way to the viewing."

"Oh. Thank you for helping me last night. I'm so sorry for the trouble. I'll have my father send you payment for the herbs and for your time."

"Don't worry. It's the one thing I'm very good at. You are not a bother."

I smile at her and together with Prim we head into town, meeting Gale along the way.

"You scared me. I woke up and you were gone." I tell him.

"I had to go get dressed. When Thom came last night, I was already in bed. After I saw how bad you were I just panicked and took you straight to the Everdeens. I didn't stop to get dressed." He says blushing a little.

I can't believe I was so out of it that I didn't notice he was only wearing boxers. I blush a little myself.

"My father and Mabel? Did anyone tell them where I was?"

"Prim went over to Mabel's this morning and told her you'd spent the night at her house. Mabel will let your father know. Everything's fine." He says as he tightens his grip around my shoulder.

The viewing begins and we're instantly all on the edge of our seats watching Katniss and Peeta heading to the cornucopia. The Capitol unleashed some kind of mutts. Huge mutts that chase all three remaining tributes through the woods and finally onto the actual giant cornucopia. My breath catches in my chest and Gale grips my hand. We watch as all three take a moment to catch their breath before Cato, the Career, grabs Peeta in a headlock and poises himself to kill him. Katniss is on her feet, bow drawn in a flash but if she shoots Cato, he'll fall backwards, taking Peeta over the edge with him and the mutts will eat both of them alive.

"Shoot dammit, shoot!" Gale whispers with a clenched jaw. He just wants her to win, even if Peeta can't win with her.

Peeta is smart though. He uses his bloody hand to mark an X on the back of Cato's hand and mouths the word "shoot" to Katniss. She gets his message and before Cato has a moment to catch on, she releases her arrow, nailing Cato right on the hand. He pulls his hand back in pain and falls backwards off the cornucopia as Katniss grabs for Peeta. Everyone in the audience looks around, we wait to hear the cannon but it doesn't come. Cato hasn't died yet even though the mutts are ravaging him. His sponsors apparently sent him some sort of body armor that is keeping him alive but only to prolong his torture by the mutts. His death will be long and painful. Katniss and Peeta cling to one another, waiting for him to die so they can officially win. Finally, after hours of the brutality, Katniss takes an arrow and leans over the edge, shoots him and puts him out of his misery. The cannon sounds. All of District 12 is on their feet, cheering! We won! Both our tributes won! I look over at Gale and notice he isn't cheering yet.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't think it's over. They haven't announced them as victors. Something's wrong."

I realize he's right and just then we hear the announcement in the arena saying the rule that they can both win has been revoked and only one of them can win. All the cheers from the district are now gasps and my eyes see Mr. Mellark close his eyes and hang his head. On screen, Katniss looks as if she'll draw her bow but drops it just as fast. They're deadlocked. Neither of them willing to kill the other one. I feel tears brimming my eyes. This is the cruelest of fates. How dare they be teased with promises of going home together when only one of them was ever going to make it out alive. Now they have to decide which one of them lives? That's cruel beyond measure. Suddenly, Katniss pulls the nightlock berries that killed Foxface from her bag and both she and Peeta take a handful of them. They kiss one more time and then count to three, intending to take their own lives together. The tears are no longer brimming my eyes, they're rolling straight down my face. She can't kill herself. She can't do that. Gale stares at the screen open mouthed and I swear I see tears in his eyes. Just as they put the berries to their lips, the announcer comes back on in the arena and orders them to stop, proclaiming them both to be this year's victors! We watch the hovercraft come and take them away and the whole district erupts in cheers. Gale picks me up as I hug his neck and swings me around. We're both screaming in delight, right along with the rest of 12. They are both coming home! Both of them, safe and sound, returned to us! The Mellarks are hugging each other as are Prim and Mrs. Everdeen. I'm elated! My friend will be home and Peeta too! They survived!