July 2011…

So, it's been what? 8 months since the break up? Shaun acts like nothing happened, he's with Brooke again and I miss him. It could just be jealousy, I bet. I've always been jealous of the "Shrooke" relationship as the fans call it, what the fuck happened to Shandy. It's like it's all about Brooke and Shaun now. All I get is teenies all "omg Andi yah sah HAWT!1! c:;;" and same for Bradie, it's like Shaun and the Scene or some stupid Selena Gomez band. If you're wondering what's happening right now, we're on our way to the hotel, we just did or 2nd of July show in Melbourne for out This is Bat Country tour. We're all sweaty and still full of adrenaline, I wanted to go to bed though. I was stuffed. The fans are really great, they really are. They get me through things when Shaun doesn't and I don't tell Bradie my problems anymore, stuff that.

Times passing quickly, tours over, I'm producing this DVD whilst recording the album which is so difficult, we're not happy with anything. Shaun's taste in music is changing, I don't know who to blame for that. I pressed save on what I had done, not long now till both DVD and album are complete. Thank fuck. I don't even think I like Bang Bang Sexy, what were we thinking. Argh, everything is frustrating me today, I made my way into the producing area where Shaun sat with his guitar. I crashed next to him, leaning against him only the slightest in a friendly way, I can't even look in his eyes, I'll just fall in love with those beautiful Blue eyes. Shaun brought Honey, Honey jumped up on me, I patted her little head slowly, I heard Shaun giggle, I looked up at him "what?"
"nothing, just something Brooke said last night" he smiled
"oh" I bit my lip and put Honey on the ground, she ran out to Bradie.
"yeah, can't wait to move in with her next week aye"
"I bet you're excited"
"yeah, you better come over man"
"yup. Shall do." I got up and walked to the little kitchen area where we kept our food, and by food we mean different types of soft drinks and candy bars. Shaun followed and grabbed a Cherry Cola, I leaned on the counter. He came to me having a sip.
"this is the best. Oh god"
"can I have a sip?" I asked, trying to start a decent conversation.
"sure" he passed it to me, I had a gulp and exhaled, putting it on the bench.
"Shaun, do you even remember how much you loved me? Do you remember how it felt being so close to me?"
"Andy, I don't like remembering the past, I like right now and I'm straight and in love with Brooke, you know that"
"for fuck sake! It's always about her isn't it! Fucking always. Open your eyes once in a blue moon and realize that she isn't perfect!" I stormed out and into my studio and kept doing the DVD, Shaun walked through slowly, leaning against the door frame.
"Andy…"
I looked at him, I instantly thought of Brooke, looked back at the screen to see a video of Shaun when we were dating, I looked back at him, but this time to his sweet lips. I grinned, I had the most evilest idea. I got up.
"fuck you, seriously" I ran through to outside, leaning againt the brick wall of Grove studios, he came out and closed the door, I breathed deeply, making my voice shakily like I was about to cry.
"Andy, you feeling okay?" he put his hand on my shoulder to console me, I smirked and grabbed his cheeks, smashing my lips to his slowly, massaging my lips on his slowly, wrapping my leg around his right thigh, pulling him down on me, his body was pretty much frozen, his lips moving the slightest, I kissed his bottom lip softly, he exhaled a groan , I giggled under the powerful kiss and pushed him away.
"and that's called the lips of a vampire and a cherry cola" I smirked and slapped his ass hard, making my way back inside. Oh Brooke was going to kill me, I must admit, if he put more action into that kiss. I'd probably be more in love with him. His body is just phenomenal.

it's October now, so glad it's a Friday night, Bang Bang Sexy was released in September but we're performing it on Australia's Next Top Model next week. I was going to club Blaze where Shanny was with all my good mates. Shaun and Brooke were gonna be there too. urgh, Bradie was tagging along with Britta, I really didn't mind. I walked in and went straight to the bar, getting a beer, I looked next to me to find a beautiful Blonde, she had tattoos on down her arm, she seemed different, the type of girl that didn't' care what people thought of her. She wore a singlet, shorts and gladiator sandals, I like her style, I grabbed my beer and had a gulp, hoping that would take away half of my nervousness to talk to her. I scooted closer to her slowly.
"Hey, I just have seem to um…notice that you're here by yourself, do you come here often?"
"o-oh" she looked at me, her eyes instantly struck me, I swallowed the lump in my throat as she continued. "yeah, I'm here with my friends but they're dancing the night away, I'm just here drinking whatever I possibly can" she laughed, I smiled.
"well it's good that you aren't dancing or else I would not have met you here, my names Andy by the way, Andy Clemmensen" I put my hand out to her, she grabbed it and shook it, smiling.
"Nice to meet you Andy, I'm Justine, Justine Finnegan" she giggled, copying what I had said previously.
"so Andy, what do you do for a living?" Justine rested her elbow on the bar, resting her face in her palm, she seemed interested.
"I'm in a band" I bit my lip, I wasn't sure that if she'd like me after finding out that I'm the bass player in Australia's top but hated rock band.
"oh really? What's it called" she said, having a sip of her drink
"Short Stack" I said slowly, she choked on her drink only the slightest, looking at me
"you mean, that big rock band from Australia, Short Stack?"
"well, yeah, not many people know me though, Shaun, our guitarist and singer is more well-known than me"
"well you sounded familiar, I've heard your voice on the radio, you're quiet funny actually"
"that is what I'm known for" I laughed, leaning against the bar.
After about half an hour of just enjoying our drink and talking, she decided to go home, I decided to walk to her place with her to make sure she got there safe, we talked about music too, we seemed to like a lot of the same stuff as me, I had to be dreaming right now. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.
"excuse me" I said to her as we walked, pulling out my phone and answered it.
"hello"
"hey, it's me, where are you" Shaun said, he seemed quite worried
"I'm just walking this beautiful girl home so she doesn't get hurt" I smiled at Justine, I think she blushed slightly under the moonlight.
"oh okay, well, see you next week then" he said dully but relieved
"alrighty, bye" I hanged up before Shaun could say anything, I looked at Justine.
"So little miss Finnegan, how far is your house"
"only a few houses down now"
"damn, maybe we should walk slower so we can talk longer" she laughed at my flirty attitude.
"well maybe little miss Finnegan is tired and wants sleep" she walked at the same pace still, I was begging myself to slow down.
"well maybe little miss Finnegan should call me sometime?" I bit my lip, she stopped in front of what I assumed was her place.
"She'd love that" she smiled, I pulled out my phone as she pulled out hers, we exchanged numbers and smiled, walking up to the front door.
"I hope to see you real soon" I smiled
"I hope to see you too Andy" she smiled back, I leaned in slowly and kissed her cheek lightly, it was so soft against my cheek.
"see you" I smiled, turning away
"bye…" I heard her voice say and then heard the door close, I walked all the way back to the club and got in my car, I would have driven Justine home but I liked talking to her, she's fun, different to all the other girls I've been out with. I heard a knock on my passenger side window, I rolled it down, Shaun poked his head through.
"Hey Andy, why didn't you tell me you got a chick?" he said more soft than casual
"she isn't just some chick, she's incredible and I don't need to tell you everything, that's why"
"but, we're like best mates" He bit his lip, I sighed and looked down at my phone to see a text from Justine saying 'when should we meet up? '
"Look Shaun, if you don't realize how much we're drifting then I don't think I can help you, sorry" I started my car
"what's that supposed to mean?"
"you've pushed me away Shaun, it's all about Brooke and Honey to you, and surfing. You're such a douche to me now"
"Andy, listen-"
"Shaun, come on, let's go home" Brooke said, coming out of nowhere also pulling him away
"well, see you Andy" Shaun said as he was pulled away. I rolled up the window and replied to Justine's text ' how about tomorrow for lunch? I'll pay for it all, don't worry. Meet me at The Entrance at 12? X ' I put my phone in my pocket and drove out and back home. I walked in and locked the door, going to my room and crashed on my bed, pulling out my phone to see a reply ' sounds great, see you then!' I smiled at the text then put my phone on charge, I didn't know how to reply. I better sleep so I can get up early to go out for lunch with her. I got into bed by at least 10:30, falling asleep by 11.

I woke up to my phone vibrating violently, Shaun was calling me, at 7:30 in the morning. Oh my god he's annoying. I grabbed my phone and cleared my throat, answering.
"Hello?"
"Hey buddy, sorry for waking you"
"it's k. I have stuff to do anyway"
"oh, like what?"
I pushed my head back into my pillow "I'm meeting up with Justine for lunch"
"oh, so this girl has a name?"
"yes, of course she fucking does Shaun. Stop being a fucking dick and put up with it. I like her, she's beautiful, she's different. Not some hipster chick who-" I shut up instantly and changed the subject "anyway, why'd you call?"
"about last night, how you said we were drifting and shit, yeah, I don't like that"
I sighed "Shaun, can I go? I really don't have the time and you know how Brooke gets when you call and text me"
"yeah, fine, I know. She locked me out of my phone numerous times by trying to get in and look at our text messages, but I let her into my phone now"
"well good for you, I'm going, bye"
"Andy, wait"
"what?"
"you'll always be my best friend, no matter what, alright?"
"okay…" I sighed
"I'll let you go now, bye, good luck with Justine"
"thanks, bye" I hanged up and groaned, setting my alarm to wake me up in another hour, I closed my eyes and fell asleep almost instantly, opening my eyes to the ringing alarm tone from my phone. I pressed 'ok' and got up, grabbing towels and going to the bathroom, having a shower and my daily do's, I did my hair and put on my white shirt and skinny jeans with black vans, Justine's different, that's why I'm so nervous. I finished getting ready and looked at myself in the mirror.
"meh, not too bad" I grabbed my keys and made my way out the door and to my car, starting it and driving out. I turned on the radio and hummed as I drove and got to The Entrance, I parked and looked in front of me to see Justine had just got here too, we smiled at each other as I got out of my car, locking it.
"hey…" I smiled then bit my lip
"Hey" she said, smiling
"so, how's your day been?" I asked, holding my arm out to her, she wrapped her arm around mine and said "It's been okay I guess, but it's much better now" she smiled, I walked her to a table and pulled out a chair for her, she sat down.
"well all that matters is that you're okay now" I smiled, sitting down in front of her.
"yeah, and how's your day been?"
"about the same, got woken up at 7:30 by your friend to discuss why I think we're drifting is terrible" she frowned slightly by what I just said
"what happened?" she questioned, resting her arm on the table. I had no clue what to say, but she had to understand me and Shaun's past to be with me, I cleared my throat and looked down.
"me and Shaun have had a past, a very bad past and now his girlfriend and him have moved in together and she's all over him and he's all about her and their dog Honey and surfing and all that, he's changing and it kinda scares me" I bit my lip, sighing deeply as I remembered the pain he put me through.
"Andy, it's okay, all that matters is yourself, you need to stop worrying about him, I'm here for you" she put her hand on my hand, I smiled and looked up into her eyes.
"but you still don't know the full story of things, how it all happened, how it resolved"
"do you wanna get take away and go to your place instead?"
"I-If you'd like"
"I think it'd be best, your mood just dropped dramatically"
"ah shh" I said, embarrassed slightly, she got up as did I, we made my way to my car, we got in and stopped at the pizza place, grabbing a pizza and straight to my place. She got out of the car taking the pizza, I soon followed, locking it with my key.
"so this is your place?"
"well, It's like cut off half way so it's half my mum and step dads and half me and my step brother Bradie, if you hear a baby crying, that's my baby sister Ashley, I have a baby brother too called Christopher, I have a lot of siblings, just thought I'd tell you"
"wow, you didn't seem the type to have a big family" she looked up at me, I don't even know how to describe her beautiful face.
"well that's what you get when your parents break up and get with someone else, family grows" I laughed slightly, we walked in and sat on the couch, opening the pizza and grabbing a slice, eating it.
"this pizza is good" she said, taking a bite
"dominoes would be better if I was still working there" I laughed, taking a bite of my piece.
"you worked at dominoes?"
"yep. I kinda had to give it up though because of the band and tours and such" my mum came through and went to the door
"ANDY IM LEAVING LOOK AFTER ASH PLEASE I NEED TO GO TO THE SHOP AND GET FOOD, BYE" she walked out, closing the door, we stared at the door, I turned to her and we both bursted into laughter.
"your mum didn't even realize we were right here!" she laughed
"I know right oh my god" I laughed with her, turning on the TV as we continued to eat.
"so Andy, what's this Shaun issue you seemed to get so upset about…?" she looked at me, resting her head on the couch
I sighed, putting my piece of pizza down.
"Alright, so it starts in high school, we met, we became best friends, he got a girlfriend by at least, what was it…um, year 8 or 9 and I got really jealous, I felt heart broken, I don't know why I felt that way" she looked at me seriously as I continued.
"I suffered depression since I was young, I was beat up a lot by a guy, Shaun made me feel better, but as soon as he started to get beat up for protecting me, I couldn't handle it. I don't know if I should tell you, but look at my wrists." I bit my lip, she looked at me concerned and grabbed my wrist, taking off my bracelets, looking at scars and cuts that were turning into scars. She bit her lip.
"O-Oh Andy…" she looked up at me "I may have only known you for a couple days but you seem so happy to be the type to do this to yourself"
"I am funny and always smiling, but I get hurt easily…a-anyway, continuing. During that year, me and Shaun had a 'gay' moment, we were dared to fake make out and as that happened, our lips touched, it felt amazing, I don't know I thought there was something wrong with me for thinking so, the next year me and Shaun, actually got together, cuddled and kissed and all that shit but then I broke up with him, I couldn't stand him protecting me at every beating, I didn't want to kiss him, I loved him but I was so scared so I broke up with him. He turned into a mess, I didn't know what to think" I wiped my eyes and rested my head on the couch, she looked at me sadly putting her hand on my cheek.
"I'm sorry…"
"you might be more sorry when I finish"
"it only gets worse doesn't it?"
"well, kinda. Me and Shaun got back together and then we did some more gay shit that I don't think you should know, and don't worry, it's not sex. Shaun was acting all weird and would start fights over pathetic shit, we broke up again, and like, straight after he got with a girl that he once dated whilst we weren't together, Brooke. I hated her, in fact I still do, she's a little bitch, anyway. After I don't know, a year? Of them being together, Brooke cheated, and wait for it, with the guy who would bash me and Shaun up. Shaun turned into a wreck again, he called me, I came straight away and helped him, I was so stupid back then because later that night he asked me back, I said yes, it was an amazing relationship with me and him at that time though, he was so sweet and we'd hold each other and we were in love, we ended up making love if you know what I mean and then the day after or maybe the next we decided to drop by his mums and his homophobic idiotic dad was there, he was calling Shaun names, I pulled him back to the car, we kissed and then his dad pulls him out and slaps him yelling all this shit at him, I pushed him away and held Shaun, he was literally shaking and crying heavily in my arms, that broke my heart so much and then he said he thought he was going to be sick so he ran to the bathroom, I don't know what exactly happened in there, but all I know is that he did hurt himself, I was arguing with his dad the whole time when I should have focused on Shaun. Later that night, being the fuckwit I am, I wanted his touch again, so I went to fuck him and I saw the cuts, my brain just died and my heart shattered, I didn't know what to think, all this shit happened so suddenly, I got drunk later and acted like a tool but I did say something I never imagined I would say, I said I wanted to grow old with him. But he clearly didn't want that because later, a week or something after my birthday, he met up with Brooke, she actually texted him and he said yes. Do you know how much pain I was in when I walked into his room to find them kissing? I felt dead, empty. I-I just, gah, I hate her, I really fucking hate her" my breath started to shake and had that feeling before a break down, Justine wrapped her arms around my waist cuddling into me, I think she was about to cry too, I had no idea.
"It's okay Andy, you didn't deserve him, you're better off without him, you really are."
I felt a tear slide down my face, I rested my head on hers, breathing deeply.
"I loved him though, but we clearly weren't meant to be" she looked at me and wiped my tears that were slowly cascading down my cheeks.
"Andy, everything happens for a reason."
"I-I know, I feel it was my fault, I'm such a dick"
"no, it happened for a reason, okay? And honestly, you, Mr. Andy Clemmensen are one of the most beautiful, amazing men I have ever meant, you aren't a tool, you're a good guy, you really are"
I sniffed and smiled, almost speechless, I put my hand on her cheek. "you're also one of the most beautiful woman I've ever met, you actually care" She smiled, I looked her lips then to her eyes, I felt like kissing her right now, should I? everything happens for a reason right? I believe if I kissed her right now, it would be amazing, nerves started to make me shake the slightest, I breathed deeply and leaned down to her face slowly.
"close your eyes…" I whispered, she closed them slowly, I closed my eyes and made my move, I leaned in, touching my lips to hers, I kissed her soft lips slowly, she kissed me back in just the same motion. This kiss felt amazing, better than any kiss I have ever had before, maybe even Shaun's kisses? We kept kissing soft and slow, I inhaled and pulled her up more, holding her closely, I deepened the kiss and ran my fingered through her hair, she wrapped her arms around my neck, my heart was pounding faster than Bradie could kick his bass drum. We got so into this kiss, her lips felt amazing. I didn't want to pull away and then suddenly a baby cried, fuck my life, god dammit Ashley, she giggled and pulled away.
"maybe you should fix that?"
"fix what? I don't have a full boner yet"
she laughed "no, your sister silly"
"oh right" I laughed, she got off me, I got up and went to Ashley's room, picking her up.
"you hungry little munchkin? Come on" I walked out with her on hip ad went to the fridge, pulling out her bottle, putting it in the microwave for a couple seconds, Justine walked in.
"oh hello there cutie" Justine smiled, Ashley looked at her and giggled, I laughed
"Justine, stop talking about me jeez" I winked
"I wasn't talking about you" she winked back then grabbed Ashley's hand, Ash squeezed her finger, Justine smiled.
"holy crap she's adorable"
"well, she is my sister, she's gonna be a real heart breaker when she grows up" we laughed
"did you want to hold her? I have to check the milk and yeah"
"sure" she smiled
"thanks" I passed Ashley to her and grabbed the milk, testing it, it was a good temperature. We sat on the couch, she passed Ashley back, I held her in my arms and fed her the milk.
"So, Justine, let's talk about you now. How was your life?"
"high school sucked, but I became a nurse so I guess all the studying and being called nerd and shit-sorry I mean stuff, paid off"
"well, you're very beautiful for a nerd, I'll tell you that." She blushed slightly and bit her nail, I looked down at Ashley, making sure I was feeding her right.
"You're a good brother Andy"
"Well I think I am the oldest so yeah, I kinda have to be the good one in a way, I'm always looking out for everyone."
"well aren't you just great" she laughed slightly, I smiled and put the bottle on the coffee table when she was done and burped her, she threw up some so I wiped it away with her bib and stood up.
"does little Ashley want to go back to bed now so brother Andy can spend time with the pretty lady" I said trying to be cute, Justine giggled as Ashley just stared at me.
"god dammit I wish you would talk already, I'm not good at reading baby emotions"
"you're a funny one, here" Justine stood up and took Ashley from my hands, rocking her back and forth slowly. "Rock a by Ashley on the tree top, when the wind blows, the cradle will rock and when the bell breaks, the cradle will fall and down will come Ashley, cradle and all" she sung softly, I looked at Ashley to see that she had closed her eyes.
"wow, your voice is a miracle" I whispered, she smiled.
"I know how to look after babies, I am a woman after all" she whispered, standing up slowly, walking down the hall, I went after her, directing her into Ashley's room. Justine slowly put Ashley down in her crib then walked out, I closed the door only with a crack showing, I grabbed Justine's hand and walked her to my room, opening the door.
"welcome to my room" I whispered in her ear, she smiled and walked in, I walked in after her and closed the door.
"yep, this is definitely your room, guitars, movies, clothes, computer...Old pizza boxes" she said slowly, picking the box up, I grabbed it, feeling myself go red in the face.
"sh, that was from a couple days ago and I'm a boy" I said, climbing onto my bed, she lied down next to me.
"your beds quite comfy, I wasn't expecting it to be"
"I got the best type of bed" I smirked, lying down next to her but resting my head on my palm, putting my other hand on her waist.
"what type of bed do you have?"
"the bed of looove" I giggled, she laughed
"well aren't you adorable"
"you betcha" I smiled and kissed her head softly "I seriously don't think I've met anyone like you before, you're so amazing Justine, you didn't even cringe or get all awkward and leave when I talked about me and Shaun"
"there's nothing wrong with being with a guy and there's nothing wrong with telling the girl that you're dating about your past."
"that's exactly what I think" I smiled, she looked up into my eyes, I looked down into hers. I leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips, she kissed me back, I pulled away slowly. She bit her lip.
"what time were you meant to be home?"
"well, what's the time?"
I pulled out my phone "3:05"
she frowned "yeah, we should go, I have a shift at 4"
"aw damn" I frowned, getting up, she got up and kissed my cheek softly.
"well thank you for this amazing date" she smiled
"you're welcome" I smiled, grabbing her hand and walking her out, mum walked in as me and Justine were about to walk out.
"oh hello Andy, who's this?"
"I-uhh"
"Justine, Justine Finnegan" she said casually, putting her hand out for a shake, mum grabbed it and shook it, she cocked an eyebrow at me.
"me and Justine are dating, mum. I was just about to go drop her home because she has to work at 4"
"oh okay, what do you do Justine"
"I'm a nurse, it's a lot of work but I love it" Justine smiled
"well go have fun then" mum smiled
"okay bye!" I said quickly, pulling Justine outside. She laughed.
"your mums nice"
"that was the most awkwardest thing I have ever done"
"aw, poor baby" she frowned
"sh your beautiful lips now please" I smiled innocently, she laughed and got in the car, I got in the other side, started the car and drove her home, we were singing along to the songs on the radio and then I drove slower and stopped when I reached her place.
"well, I better go" She frowned
"I'm going to miss you, so much" I admitted, my face going red only the slightest.
"I'm going to miss you too, these moments with you have to be the best moments by far" she put her hand on my cheek and leaned over, planting a kiss on my lips, I kissed her back slowly. It felt even better when she kissed me first. She pulled away and open the door "when do you want to meet up next?"
"Monday? I won't be available on Tuesday or Thursday, I have a performance on Aus next top model and our DVD premiere on Thursday"
"well aren't you busy, well that's okay because I have work anyway, I'll see you, if anything changes text me" she got out of the car
"will do" I smiled
"bye" she pouted, closing the door, I pouted and waved buh-bye, I watched her walk up to her door and inside. As soon as the door closed, I drove back home. Justine is all that's on my mind now. But there's a little Shaun back there begging for attention. I'm not going to let him ruin this relationship.

that Wednesday…

Today we're performing Bang Bang Sexy at ANTM finale, Brooke was coming with Karissa, her friend from Canada, she was actually a nice and kind girl. We just did a lot of rehearsing, we have dancers performing with us, dancers on stage dancing with us. This was just crazy. We sat backstage on our phones.
"Shaun, do you know where I put my extra drumsticks?" Bradie asked, me and Justine were texting, our conversation was about dancers, funny huh?
"no I don't Bradie, look in your drum bag?" Shaun said
"they aren't there, I only have the one pair"
"it'll be right then, don't worry, come on, we're going on now…ANDY!" Shaun yelled
"huh? 'right, coming" I put my phone in my pocket and grabbed my bass that was ready to go. The host called out "Short Stack" and we set up on stage, starting the show. I focussed on the bass, but Justine, oh Justine was in my mind the whole time, Shaun's singing was terrible, he waved to Brooke too, he must have been nervous, even though he was jumping around like a drunken hobo. After the performance we went backstage.
"what…the…fuck…was…that" I said to Shaun, he turned around.
"Shut up Andy, I got stage fright" he frowned slightly
"HOW?! We've sold out here before"
"but that was fans, these are people that may not even like us"
"well now they definitely don't!"
Shaun sighed and crashed on the lounge backstage, I rolled my eyes, packing up my bass, Bradie packing up the drums.
"why are you and Shaun fighting so much lately?" Bradie asked curiously
"just, stupid things" I said, making my way out back of the opera house. I grabbed my phone out and texted Justine ' hey baby, just did Bang Bang Sexy. Shaun fucked up so bad, so embarrassing, I'll speak to you soon xx ' and put my phone back in my pocket. "THE WINNER WAS MONTANA!" Bradie yelled out to me, I didn't care. I grabbed out my phone again and went on twitter and tweeted 'Spent my day surrounded by models and dancers but they still got nothing on that small town girl ;)' I smiled to myself as I sent it. Was I in love? Who knew. Justine texted me back suddenly 'Shaun's a bit up himself, haha. I was watching babe wouldn't miss it for the world x'.
"Hey." Shaun said out of nowhere, I jumped and locked my phone, putting it in my pocket.
"Hey" I smiled slightly at him
"I fucked up tonight, aye?"
"I-I…guess" I tried to smile, supporting him. I saw Brooke coming down with Karissa. Oh yay. The two platinum blondes made their way out back were we were by the harbour, Brooke gave me a strange look.
"Hey guys, you did well tonight, loving the song!" Karissa said, she's the type of girl who's always smiling and makes a positive out of all negatives.
"thank you" I smiled, Shaun wrapped his arm around Brooke's waist.
"wanna go inside, honey? Karissa wants to record some things for YouTube, you'd distract viewers" and I wouldn't distract? Oh, I wish I had my girl right now. We walked back inside, Shaun still had his arm around her, I crossed my arms, copying Brooke to piss her off, Bradie just stood there awkwardly.
"So how are you and your girlfriend, Andy?"
"great, she's fantastic, better than any girl I've ever seen in my life" I smiled innocently to make her feel ugly.
"well good luck, just don't fuck this one up, kissing Shaun, again" she said being all blonde smart ass.
"woah, what?" Bradie said
"I was stupid Brooke, get over it, I'm over Shaun, I assure you" I nodded at Shaun, I don't know why but he seemed quite disappointed not having someone to come to for a casual fuck every time Brooke and him break up.
"well good, we can all be happy then" she smiled, I nodded then walked away, grabbing my bottle of water, I had a scull and exhaled, nice and cold.

After an hour or so I got back home and crashed in bed. I was so tired, I heard Bradie yawn from down the hall.
"GOODNIGHT BRADIE!" I laughed softly
"NIGHT ANDY!"
I smiled and took my clothes off, fuck pyjamas, I like to be free. I got under the covers and snuggled up warm in my bed, falling asleep before I could count to 100.

one week later

So much has happened in a week. I feel enlighted by the success of our documentary, so many fans bought tickets and went into their city cinemas just to watch it, I love my fans and going down that red carpet was so nerve racking, I fucking loved the excitement though and Matty and Maude hosting it all, the band is exactly where I like it, I don't want anything to change, ever. I'm also feeling guilty, horrible and ashamed, heartbroken even. I had a fight with Justine, a stupid little fight, I can't even remember what about anymore, but I called the quits on the relationship and she walked out nearly in tears. I'm a terrible person, I was so close to believing I was in love, but if I was, I wouldn't have of done that, would I? I'm so tempted to hurt myself now, I can think, but a broken heart can't be the reason, I've caused this myself. I was crazy about Justine and now she's out of my life, like that. Ugh, I'm on my way to the studio, hopefully we can start finalizing it without my brain flipping over into a break down, I don't want to fight with Shaun. I haven't spoken a word to him nor Bradie since me and Justine's break up. I walked in slowly, scratching my head, walking into the studio awkwardly.
"Hey Andy" Shaun smiled. I smiled back slightly, I waved at Bradie as he waved at me.
"Alrighty mate, you three have to decide on this final track and then it can go to America to get remixed a little" Trevor said
"a-alright" I said softly, grabbing the laptop to listen to the track, Shaun got closer to listen.
"you alright bud?" Shaun looked at me a bit worried
"I'm perfect, perfectly fine" I said quickly pressing play.
"he hasn't said a word since Saturday" Bradie mumbled, sitting on the other side of me.
"that's not normal" Shaun said softly, looking up at me.
"okay, I am right here you know?" I bursted out, looking at both of them quickly.
"Andy, what's wrong?" Shaun asked more sternly
"M-Me…" I sighed
"you…?" Bradie came in
"I broke up with Justine, over a stupid little fight and I really regret it and now she won't answer my texts or calls because I've hurt her. Okay?!" I wiped the tear that was forming in my eye. No Andy, no break downs today.
"oh…" Bradie bit his lip, Shaun mumbled a little 'ha' like he wasn't surprised, I looked at him.
"what was that for?"
"interesting how we broke up over a stupid little fight before too" he smiled innocently.
"okay, I'm going home, I like the second version of the song, you both can choose, if it's 2 against one on one of them, use that one. Okay, goodbye" I stormed out, Trevor grabbed my shoulder as he walked out from the kitchen area.
"where you going mate?"
"Just to my car." I sniffed slightly and kept walking, making my way out and across the stones to my car, I heard someone approaching from behind. I sighed and turned around. Shaun.
"Andy, dude, don't go."
"I'm not needed here" I looked him right in the eyes
"you are needed. You're a part of this band too"
"but is it worth it if you're going to treat me like rat shit? She was all I had when YOU weren't here" I pushed his chest with my finger.
"I'm sorry, it just reminded me of us-"
"don't you even dare think about comparing her to you, she's nothing like you"
"clearly. She has tits, I have a dick"
"yeah, you left me for Brooke because she has tits and not once have a compared myself to that slut, I lost my virginity to you Shaun, remember that" Shaun laughed slightly
"what? No, we were young and made out till we came in our pants, I lost my virginity to Brooke and oh god this conversation just got really awkward"
"So, even after the both of us said it was losing our virginity, it meant nothing to you?"
"no, I mean, yeah, but that was puppy love, I don't consider it losing our virginity. I lost it to Brooke and it was amazing, you lost it to that girl from the club"
"n-no, you'll always be the one who took it in my eyes"
"who cares? No one dies a virgin, life fucks us all"
"Shaun, if you aren't going to stop acting like this to me then the bands over." That hit him, it hit me too, Shaun suddenly got quiet.
"I-I'm sorry Andy…let's go, please…" he grabbed my arm, pulling me back in, I sighed. Oh my life is great. Maybe I should get on twitter and talk to some fans, they always know how to cheer me up.

couple months later

"RAWR!" I jumped and looked wide eyed to see Shaun and Bradie.
"w-what are you guys doing?" I groaned, sitting up
"look what we did to the old band room" they smiled
"why…? What did you guys do…?" I got up, forgetting I was naked and blushed, Shaun laughed.
"EW PUT PANTS ON!" Bradie said, I slid on some shorts and thongs, making my way out back to the garage, the boys following. The room was packed up, tided and…white…
"guys…why is the room white, where's all the stuff, why is there newspaper all over the ground?"
Shaun passed me spray cans, two of different colours "We're doing Soul in here"
"and what are the spray cans for?"
"we're going to graffiti them, with Maurice and Soul lyrics" Bradie said, setting up his old spiderman drums and a Maurice drumskin.
"so, we're doing it in here? I thought we were doing it in a warehouse"
"well, we didn't have enough money and I thought this would mean a lot, this is the place where it all began" Shaun said
"oh, I see, I'll get some crap clothes on, like you guys are wearing"
"alright" Shaun went over to Bradie as I went back to my room, changing into crap clothes I hadn't worn in years. I came back in to find Shaun spray painting the Maurice, Bradie covered his drums with a plastic sheet then passed me a spray can.
"Spray some words with me" Bradie laughed, I snatched the can and smirked, shaking it up. Shaun sneezed randomly, we bursted into laughter.
"shut up! I got it up my nose!" he complained, rubbing his nose. I shook my head, smiling as I drew 'SOUL' and some of the lyrics which Shaun had to remind me at times. At least after an hour the room was completed, I smiled and looked at Shaun.
"it's perfect"
"I reckon" he smiled slightly and pulled me into a hug, I hugged him back then pushed him away.
"dude, you're not gay" I winked
"Whaaat, I just wanted to hug my best friend" he frowned
"Aww, poor baby" I laughed, he looked at me and took a deep breath
"let's get changed and ready to go, shall we?"
"sounds like a plan" Bradie said.

After an hour of shooting, Gerald filming it all, we went back to my room and started editing the video.
"We did this so easily. Should be easy to finish"
"you are mister pro Andy" Shaun said, chilling on my bed, mucking with my guitar
"I reckon Shaun's voice has improved dramatically. I was watching drop dead last night and I couldn't stand it" Bradie bursted into laughter.
"hey!" Shaun pouted.
I finished the editing and compressed it into an actual video.
"GUYS, IT'S DONE, COME WATCH!"
they came running in and watched over my shoulder as I pressed play.
"oh wow, the editing is great Andy" Bradie said.
"I look funny" Shaun said
"Shaun, you look good" I said, maybe shouldn't have though.
"well, thanks- OH I LOVE BRADIE'S DRUM BIT WITH MY SOLO!" he laughed.
"that's cooler than I imagined" Bradie agreed, I felt proud of myself. Shaun and Bradie loved it. I looked up at Shaun and Bradie.
"I think it's great" Bradie said, sitting on my bed.
"It's amazing" Shaun added, then pulled out his phone, I looked at him.
"Brooke?"
"Yeah, I said I'd pick her up from work, good job Andy, you did well" he put his phone in his pocket and patted my shoulder, waving at Bradie and walking out.
"you still like him don't you" Bradie said once the door closed
"no, I just don't like Brooke" I turned to him "why does it matter?"
"it matters because you're my brother and my friend, you still seem hurt by it"
"She cheated on him, he ran to me, we got together and I thought he was forever until I caught him kissing her. She ruined him, I fixed him, but then she ruined me and no one has fixed me" I looked down.
"I know, sorry Andrew" he got up "Just, don't hurt yourself, okay?" he walked out and went to his room, I watched him walk out. Well, that's interesting.