A/N Italics are Norwegian/Swedish
Disclaimer: I don't own Metalocalypse
Magnus and Skwisgaar seemed oddly tolerant of each other when they left their rooms the next morning, both of their faces swollen and purpled with bruises.
"Shit, did you two try ta kill each other last night er somthin?" Pickles asked tiredly, scratching his scalp.
"Sort of," Magnus shrugged with a grin, and Skwisgaar moved to stand by Toki. Charles came downstairs about ten minutes later, and at the sight of Magnus and Skwisgaar he was already rubbing his head.
"So I suppose you two were unable to patch things up then?" he sighed, looking nearly ready to give up.
"Actuallies we cames to an agreements," Skwisgaar sniffed at the man. Charles gave another miserable sigh.
"Fine. What ah, whatever. As long as you don't kill each other, I honestly don't care. Skwisgaar, tell Toki to come with me. I made some calls last night and found him a tutor, so he'll be on the back of the bus with her to learn English," Skwisgaar pouted, but did as he was told. The only good thing about Toki being away from him was that he'd be away from Magnus too, he thought. Toki walked over to Charles carefully, still a little intimidated by the man, and was led away at the front of the pack. On reaching the bus, Charles handed him off to an older, hawk like woman with graying hair and a nose that almost seemed to hook into a spiral who spoke in high, crooning tones. She reminded Toki of an old school teacher that had once read to him when he came into town, so he followed her willingly, though with much less chatter than usual.
Before Toki went to the back of the bus, Charles stopped the woman.
"We'll arrive at the airport in an hour, so spend this time teaching Toki the basics, like how to say his name. And ah, if the two men who look like they've run into a brick wall try to bother Toki please send them away," Charles said, giving a sideways glance to the two men who'd yet to take their eyes away from the young boy.
"Ja, I will look after him. Do not worry, Mr. Offdensen," she said, her face pulled taut by a smile.
"Good. I'll get the both of you when we arrive," Charles said with a nod. The woman placed her thin hand on the boy's shoulder and led him to the small room in the back of the bus.
"Come along little one. You must learn English so you can go to America," the lady said, taking a seat and having the boy sit across from her. Toki nodded, and the lesson began.
Once they arrived at the airport, Toki could clumsily say his name, where he was born, where he was going, and who he was traveling with. Skwisgaar attempted to say that ended Magnus' physical advantage, and Magnus hit him again. Once Nathan had separated them, Charles attempted to ask what Skwisgaar had meant, but neither Skwisgaar nor Magnus spoke of it. Charles eventually gave up.
"Alright guys, I'm ah, going to buy our tickets now. You all wait here, and try not to damage anything," Charles stated as he walked up to his desk.
"Dood, he's gat no fuckin faith in us, does he?" Pickles asked with a grin as he lifted a vodka filled soda bottle to his lips.
"Probablies fors de good reasons," Skwisgaar said, cocking his brow at the red head.
"Fuck aff, ya douchebag," Pickles said, waving his arm and nearly falling. Toki, who stood by his tutor, quickly went over to support him. Anyone watching would've been hard pressed to say whether Magnus or Skwisgaar grabbed him first, but when Charles returned they were quickly forced to release the boy, who they were pulling back and forth like a rope. His tutor kept him by her until time to get on the plane, when Magnus, who'd always made a claim to being sneaky, switched his ticket with the her's. When the attendant sat Toki by Magnus Charles thought of forcing a seat change, but eventually decided he may as well just let things run their course. After all, he sighed to himself once again, what Dethklok wanted, Dethklok always got, and if they wanted to fight over a Norwegian boy, who was he to stop them? He just hoped no other members decided to get involved, because God help everyone involved if a man like Murderface vied for someone's affection and had competition.
Magnus, much to Skwisgaar's chagrin, couldn't keep his hands off Toki during the plane ride. Even while the boy ate that hand was ever present on his thigh, sometimes creeping just high enough for Skwisgaar to grit his teeth and grip the arm of his chair tightly enough to make his fingers ache. Really, Skwisgaar thought, the only blessing was that Toki didn't notice since his tutor kept him occupied with learning more phrases in English.
Surprisingly, halfway through the flight, it was Murderface who pointed out Magnus' roving hand as he came back from the bathroom.
"Dude, that'sh shick! What the fuck are you doing, masshaging his thigh?" Magnus, ever cool under pressure, merely thought up what he hoped was a believable excuse.
"No man, I'm fucking leaning over so I can here his tutor and try and help him learn English You do want to talk to him sometimes, right?"
"Oh, well uh, usesh the arm resht then or shomething, that'sh really gay looking," Murderface said awkwardly, and Magnus rolled his eyes. Toki, having learned how to ask questions and heard a word he recognized, sensed an opportunity to both practice his English and get an answer to a question he'd had for a while, spoke up.
"Whats amses gay?" he asked uncomfortably noisily, causing every other occupant of the plane to turn and stare at him. Toki's tutor decided that answering that question went well beyond what she was being paid for and kept her mouth closed, causing Skwisgaar to glare at Murderface because fuck, now it fell to him to explain.
"It is when a man or woman is attracted to someone of the same gender," Skwisgaar said, trying not to say something stupid like 'what I am for wanting to screw with you', though he supposed if he ever had to explain the meaning of pedophile he could use that. Toki didn't speak after that and both Skwisgaar and Magnus wondered whether the thought disgusted the boy.
That was the first time Skwisgaar and Magnus ever wondered if Toki would even be receptive to their advances. He had grown up in a very religious household, so what if he hated it? What if he hated them? Neither of them could stand the thought.
Magnus and Skwisgaar spent a week fighting for Toki's attention once they arrived back at the shitty house they were renting together, but the oblivious boy acted no different. The only time he showed even an ounce of favoritism was when he'd go off alone with Skwisgaar when he tired of practicing English, but to be honest, that wasn't very often. He'd learned very quickly, and could now carry on simple conversations, though his words were often more clumsy than Skwisgaar's. Magnus found it especially cute when he struggled for the right word and twirled his hair in thought, and Skwisgaar, realizing this, tried to always be around in order to supply him with words. The tutor, for her part, had learned to keep out of the line of fire and was generally allowed to actually do her job only when Toki actively sought her out, and even then he always had one or the other of the men attached to him. Eventually, she grew frustrated with the state of things and quit, but not before sharing a few choice words with the men.
"Damn the both of you! I don't see how the boy finds the time to piss with the two of you around! Please, one of you just have sex with him and save the rest of the world a whole hell of a lot of trouble!" Magnus, from that day forward, had a healthy fear of elderly women, while Skwisgaar developed a rather unhealthy attraction that could only be defeated by staring at Toki. Charles, who'd been slowly giving up on actually getting any of the band members to do anything, didn't even bother to reprimand the men, both of whom had made attempts to take Toki away and comfort him over the loss of his tutor.
The morning after the tutor left, Charles called the band together.
"Guys, I ah, I have some good news. You guys have been gaining some recognition, so the record head helped me get you guys a gig at the ah, the concert hall downtown." Pickles, still buzzed from the night before and already drinking again, whooped in excitement.
"A'right! This calls fer a fuckin celebration! Cahm ahn Charlie, let's all get fuckin wasted!" he yelled, waving a bottle and cocking his hip as though he were back in Snakes N' Barrels.
"No, I ah, don't think-"
"Cahm ahn! Ya never loosen up!" he said, grabbing the man and forcing the bottle into the elder man's mouth. Charles pulled away and coughed noisily.
"A-Alright then. The show is in two days, so ah, you need to prepare," Charles said, straightening his tie and walking away.
Practice went the same as always, with Magnus yelling that Skwisgaar was playing incorrectly and Skwisgaar talking about how much better than Magnus he was. This time, however, Toki actually understood the words and told them to stop because they were both amazing. It had the two cooing over the boy while everyone else wondered if they'd ever get any practice in.