SHAUN P.O.V
It's been around two weeks. Andy has barely spoken to me, Bradie's moved with Britta to their house. I usually stopped by when I went into the city, I've been busy lately. I walked back in my apartment from surfing, put my board down and went and had a shower. After I got into clothes and opened my laptop, going onto twitter. I saw something from a fan, I opened it to find a snapshot saying 'me me me me me me me #IndirectTweet' from our band account. I clicked on the actual page, it was deleted. Andy, it had to be. I replied to the fans wondering then closed the laptop, grabbing my keys and making my way out the door when Brooke suddenly walked in.
"Hey baby, where you going?"
"deal with something…" I said, kissing her cheek lightly before storming out the door, I'll tell her later. I got into my car and did up the seatbelt, starting the engine, making my way to Andy's. He lived so far from here it felt. I pulled up at Andy's and got out, running to his door and knocking on it, Andy opened it, he looked like a bit of a wreck, he usually looks like it when he's alone.
"what." He said
"can we talk?"
"what? Have a proper conversation without fighting or crying, sure, come inside" He said, walking inside to the kitchen, having a drink of beer from a bottle. I closed the door behind me and walked toward him.
"Andy, what the fuck are you doing with yourself…" He looked at me
"You ruined me, and all you care about is yourself and that stupid mutt! I'm not even talking about the dog"
"Fuck you Andy, really, I'm in love with her, can't you leave it at that?"
"you call that love?"
"I don't care if she hurts me, I'm in love with her"
"Mmm, I see your point, me always being in love with you after you hurt me" he sighed, I stared him, what was I to say?
"so you did the 'me me me' tweet?" I said after a couple silent minutes, he nodded slowly
"oh, fuck sake"
"I DELETED IT!"
"it aint that easy to delete a tweet you fuck head"
"thank you, I really needed to know how you honestly think of me" He walked into the lounge, I followed.
"Andy…I don't think you're a fuck head"
"you ruined me…" he whispered, I think he was about to cry, he sat down, I sat next to him.
"maybe I shouldn't speak to you for a while"
"m-maybe" he looked down and sniffed
"sorry for fucking you up" I said, getting up and making my way back out, getting in the car and starting it, pulling out and making my way home.
I walked inside to find a worried looking, beautiful Brooke standing in front of me.
"Shaun…I saw your twitter, did you go see Andy?"
I nodded "I-…I fucked up, didn't I?"
"no baby, you didn't, don't even think that for a second" She came up to me and wrapped her arms around my neck, we looked into each other's eyes.
"But I did with Andy, I ruined him"
"no, it was for the best, come on baby, in the end you'll be better off without him, you've drifted a lot from him. Bradie is like your only best friend"
"I-I guess…"
"I love you and will always be here for you Shaun" she smiled
"I love you too, thank you beautiful, I'll always be here…forever" I smiled back slightly and kissed her lightly on her soft lips, she's amazing.
ANDY'S P.O.V
Shaun walked out, I stared at the ground and began to break down again, I always fuck up, I always push people away, thank fuck I'm alone right now. I breathed deeply as tears cascaded slowly down my cheek, I got up and went to my room, sitting on my bed and bursted into tears. I keep thinking about the fans, the fans, Shaun, Bradie, Justine, Shaun, Brooke, everything around me, Short Stack, tours, all of it impacted me and I've lost it. I just want to grab that blade and slice my skin but I can't let it, no more. I don't want a blade to make me more out of control than I already am and it's my birthday it two weeks, mum and Gerald are going away for a couple days. Chris and Ashley are going to Bradie's because mum and Gerald are the only people who actually hear my cries of pain and heartache, but they don't bother helping, maybe they just don't know what to do. I wiped my tears away and breathed shakily, maybe I should just order some pizza and watch a movie to cheer myself up. I grabbed my phone and called the pizza place, ordering then picked some movies from the collection of mine, good old batman and some funny old comedies. I put Batman on first and laid in bed, forgetting all the bad things as I watched it.
Two weeks later…
I woke up slowly and stretched my body, grabbing my phone and looking at the time, 10:30am and then I looked at a stream of texts from my friends saying 'Happy Birthday! xx'
great, I'm reminded. A year ago I was with Shaun and I was happy and now I've got nothing with a soul feeling nothing. I replied back to all, Shanny asked if I wanted to go to Avengers launch, I smiled slightly, at least that gave me something to be looking forward to. I said yes and got up, eating any left overs I could find in the fridge and heated it up in the microwave. I saw a wrapped up box on the table. I smiled and grabbed it. The card on it read 'Happy Birthday Andy! have a great day, much love, Mum, Gerald and family xxx' I smiled bigger and unwrapped it to find a family photo, my sisters, mum, Bradie and Gerald, with Chris and Ashley. A couple shirts and a pair of jeans, just what I needed. I smiled and went to my room, sitting the photo on my desk and clothes on my bed, I heard the microwave so I went and quickly got the food out, starting to eat it as I walked to the lounge, I heard a knock on the door, I rolled my eyes and put the bowl down, going to the door. I opened it to find Bradie and Britta, they both have the largest smiles in the world, I swear, they're a perfect couple.
"Happy Birthday Andy!" Bradie said
"thanks bro" I smiled, Britta kissed my cheek and passed me a present, seemed like a DVD or something.
"Just thought we'd stop by and drop off something you might enjoy" She smiled
"you got me midget porn didn't you?" we all laughed
"no, it's skyrim, yeah, you were borrowing mine but since I took it with me, we bought you one."
"aw guys, thank you so much" I smiled and hugged them both quickly.
"you're welcome, happy birthday Andy" Britta smiled.
"wow…did you guys want to come inside for a drink or?"
"no, we really gotta head off and do work and things" Bradie said, his arm firmly around her waist. I was so jealous of their relationship.
"Alrighty, see you for dinner soon right? Just give me a ring" I smiled
"will do" Britta said
"bye Andy" Bradie said, they turned around, walking back to their car.
"see ya!" I smiles and closed the door. Can't believe they got me skyrim.
After finishing my food and played a bit of skyrim, I went on twitter on my phone. I decided to lurk Shaun's twitter. He's been on…but no happy birthday tweet to me like all the other years, he tweeted happy birthday to Bradie when it was his birthday, why not me? Selfish cunt. I locked my phone and sat up, I hate feeling so alone, I hate feeling the need to drag a blade down my wrist and slice it apart, what if I killed myself today? No one would care. I doubt it. Fans just talk to Shaun now, they don't need me. Mum isn't here. My dad hasn't even bothered to call. No one needs me. Shaun walked out, he has Brooke. Bradie has Britta. No one needs me. After at least 5 minutes, I was breaking down again, my thoughts kept yelling at me saying I'm not needed, wanted or loved. I knew my life was going to end today. What's the point on living honestly. I sat of the side of my bed and searched through my drawer, aha! Found it. I pulled out the blade, I started to shake, pressing it softly onto the start on my vein in my wrist. I breathed deeply.
"c'mon Andy…do it" I mumbled to myself, tears still rolling down my face, slowly pushing down on my vein until I heard a knock at the door, I jolted and dropped the blade, my heart started racing, I wiped my eyes and ran to the door, opening it. I froze suddenly, it was Justine, but her hair was black now, she clearly dyed it.
"Oh thank fuck you're okay Andy!" She said worriedly, jumping onto me and wrapping her arms around my neck, I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her, what was I going to say? Why was she even worried.
"Justine…" I said softly
"Andy, I was worried, I heard about the break up and I went on twitter and you hadn't tweeted and I saw what Shaun was like and everything, I know how much this band meant to you, I'm so glad you're okay." She hugged me again, I smiled, she cared. She's like my angel I swear.
"Happy birthday Andy…" She whispered
"you remembered, fuck, you're an angel I swear" I smiled, she pulled away and looked at me.
"I missed you so much" she said
"I missed you too, I really needed you, I really fucked up, I'm so sorry baby" I kissed her softly without thinking, thank fuck she kissed me back, I smiled at her.
"want to tell me what's been happening for all this to happen?"
"sure…it's a long story though" I laughed in pettiness of myself.
We sat down and I told her what happened, all the fighting, everything. I may have shed a few tears.
"so…Shaun's going solo?" She asked, I nodded
"You know he's just going to realize that deep down it's always been pop/punk rock and Short Stack" She continued
"Yeah, but Shaun is all about the future, he acts like me and him never happened, like Brooke never cheated and now he acts like Stack never existed and Bradie's happy producing and just…gah" I sighed, she wrapped her arms around me. I closed my eyes and rested my head on her shoulder.
"I don't know why but I had a feeling you weren't okay"
I looked at her "you pretty much just saved my life" I looked down, biting my lip.
"R-Really…wha-…how?"
"you see the faint scratch above my vein?" I showed her my wrist "I was about to slice it open"
"fuck…"
"yeah" I breathed deeply
"you don't realize how lucky you are to be here Andy, you don't realize that you're beautiful, talented and much more. You may not have the smartest brain in spelling, grammar and such but in music, photography and such, you are Andy. stop letting up here" she tapped my head "effect in here" she tapped where my heart was, I felt it beat a bit faster. I smiled.
"you're so…amazing, Justine"
"Just helping a friend" she smiled slightly.
"yeah…friend" I smiled back
"uh, I better go" she got up.
"o-oh, okay" I got up as she went to the door, I opened it for her.
"thanks, see you" She smiled and walked out
"bye…" I bit my lip and closed the door. Why didn't I ask her out? Why didn't I say anything. I know she doesn't have a car, she would have walked. I opened the door and just stared outside for a bit.
"you can do this…" I whispered to myself. I looked to my left in the mirror, fuck, I looked like shit, I quickly brushed my hair and put my thongs on, running outside, I looked left to see her walking to the bus stop. I swallowed the lump in my throat and ran up to her.
"Justine" I said from behind her
"Andy?" she turned around, I smiled slightly
"I-I was just wondering if you wanted to come over on Thursday? I would ask you to stay the night but Shan really wants me to go to the avengers launch for my birthday. Unless you wanna stay until then? I mean, if you want."
"I'll come over Thursday Andy, don't fret" she smiled, oh I loved that smile.
"okay…see you then" I smiled and turned around, making my way back
"see you!" I heard her say as I walked back home, I walked inside and rested my head on the front door, smiling. She's so easy going. I'm not going to fuck this up. I better not fuck it up.
Two days later
Justine's coming over in an hour. Holy fuck am I excited. I want to ask her back, I know, I kissed her and all that but I should do it more formally? Be a good guy for once in a blue moon. She's such a great girl. One of the best I have ever met. So sweet and kind and shares the same interests, not to mention how we can have fun and she won't get offended. I quickly cleaned the house and looked at myself in the mirror. I breathed deeply and put my hair in place, hearing a knock on the door, I bit my lip and walked over to the door casually, opening it.
"Justine" I smiled
"Hey Andy" She smiled back, walking inside.
"I was thinking we could order chinese or pizza, I'm not that good of a cook and don't want to burn food that goes inside you…your mouth. Yeah." I said awkwardly, she giggled.
"Alrighty" She said. I smiled
"Come on" I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the lounge, we both sat down.
"So, what's been happening?" I asked
"Just work really, hanging with the girls. You know" he smiled
"Better than what's been happening with me lately. I'm so glad you found me aye, after you went home on my birthday I went on my computer and found out my fans had made a letter and trended me on twitter, I was seriously so speechless. If they did lose me that day, they would have been crushed"
"Sh, Andy, you know you don't deserve that pain, you deserve happiness."
"I'm always hoping for the best. Keep your hopes up high and your head down low" I said, quoting All I Want by A Day To Remember.
"you like ADTR?" she asked.
"yes, fucking love them" I smiled
"So do I" She smiled back.
"All I Want is one of my favourites" I got up and turned it on, on the iPod dock.
"One of mine too. They're pretty freaking amazing"
"oh they are" I laughed "may we get some food now?" I said, a bit hungry
"sure, just pizza, you know what I like"
"sure do" I smiled and pulled out the phone from my pocket and ordered. I heard Justine turn up the music, I said goodbye and hung up the phone, making my way back into the lounge.
"LET'S LEAVE NO WORDS UNSPOKEN, SAVE REGRETS FOR THE BROKEN, WILL YOU EVEN LOOK BACK WHEN YOU THINK OF ME?!" I sung loudly, she joined "ALL I WANT IS A PLACE TO CALL MY OWN AND MEND THE HEARTS OF EVERYONE WHO FEELS ALONE, WOAH, YOU KNOW TO KEEP YOUR HOPES UP HIGH AND YOUR HEAD DOWN LOW" we both sung and instantly bursted into laughter, she put the biggest smile on my face.
"Oh Justine, Justine, Justine…" I smiled
"what?" she bit her lip.
"nothing" I said, blushing slightly as I heard the doorbell, I went to the door and paid for the pizza, putting it on the table. Justine came up behind me and hugged me, I smiled.
"what you doing?"
"just hugging you" She smiled then grabbed a slice of her pizza, putting it on her plate.
"hey, I could have done that for you" I pouted
"I'm a grown woman Andy, I can do things myself" She laughed and sat on the couch, eating her slice. I sat next to her with my plate of 4 or so slices, starting to eat them. God dammit I'm a pig.
"got enough pizza there?" Justine laughed, snatching one of my slices.
"hey! I'm hungry" I pouted
"I just want to try" She pouted cutely, taking a bite.
"alright, you can eat it" I laughed and continued eating.
Both of us managed to finish both pizzas but yes, I did eat more than her. We were so full.
"want a beer?" I asked
"yes please, I'm quite thirsty" she said, pressing next on my iPod dock. I smiled and got up, going to the fridge and grabbed the beers. I trust her so much with my iPod since she likes the same music as me. I came back in and passed her one, then opening mine.
"thanks" she smiled, having a sip and putting it on the coffee table. I had a gulp of mine and placed it next to hers, sitting next to her.
"Justine…" I said, biting my lip suddenly getting nervous.
"yeah?" She turned to me, I turned the volume down on the dock and grabbed her hand slowly.
"The reason why I asked you over today was because I missed you and, I really want you back in my life. I can't deny the fact that I'm crazy about you Justine, I must've been lucky to find a girl like you and I don't and will never let you go. Justine, be mine? Again?"
"Oh Andy, that's so sweet of you" she smiled big "I missed you too, so much" She wrapped her arms around my neck as I wrapped mine around her waist.
"of course I'll be your girlfriend…" she whispered, I smiled as butterflies instantly filled my stomach, I pulled away from the hug and put my hand on her cheek softly, leaning in and meeting my lips with hers, we closed our eyes and kissed slowly, I smiled as I pulled away.
"you're beautiful" I said honestly. She blushed.
"Thanks" she bit her lip
"OH! It's not official till it's on facebook" I smiled and grabbed my laptop from the other couch, turning it on.
"aw, you're cute…but, what about the fans?"
"They'll love you, trust me, they all hate Brooke because they think she's some hipster bitchy slut that cheated on Shaun and Shaun's also the front man so the teenies hate it"
"wow, Brooke's a strong girl to pull through all that."
"I know, surprises me they're still going." I said, changing my relationship status into 'in a relationship'
"NOW GO ON AND ACCEPT YOUR REQUEST!" I said, smiling big, she giggled then grabbed my laptop.
"can't accept from my phone, silly" She laughed and logged into her facebook, confirming the request and logging out.
"there" she smiled
"yay!" I giggled and wrapped my arms around her, she laughed and snuggled into me slightly.
"what's the time?" she asked, I pulled out my phone.
"nine"
"I should sleep babe, I have to work early tomorrow" she frowned.
"B-But" I frowned
"what about if we both sleep and you take me to work tomorrow?" she said, putting her finger on my chest, I smiled, looking in her eyes.
"that sounds great"
"come on" She got up, holding her hand out for mine, I grabbed it and stood up.
"wait, I've always wanted to do this." I held her back and leant down, scooping her legs up so she was in my arms, she squealed.
"oh my fucking god Andy!" she gasped
"weren't ready for that, were ya?" I winked at her, giggling a smirk.
"not at all" she laughed and wrapped her arms around my neck as I walked her to the bedroom, laying her down slowly on my bed.
"you're gorgeous" I smiled down at her, she bit her lip. I giggled and changed into my underwear, I looked at her to find her taking off her jewellery and everything, keeping her underwear and singlet on, her body stood out to me, it was such a beautiful shape.
"wow, little miss beautiful right here" I smiled and got under the covers, looking at her, she kissed my head softly.
"wait until I take my make up off, then you'll see little miss ugly"
"I honestly doubt that"
"we'll see" she laughed and got up, going to the bathroom and came back five minutes later with her hair tied up and makeup off. She was still beautiful in my eyes, she got in bed next to me and snuggled into my chest.
"S-So collllllllld" She shaked, I wrapped my arms around her, keeping her close.
"you're so beautiful baby" I whispered
"you're so warm, also beautiful, Andy" she looked up at me, smiling.
"your arms are actually quite strong, they make me feel protected" she continued, laughing.
I blushed and bit my lip.
"I'll always protect you" I smiled, kissing her lips softly, she smiled and put her hand on my neck, leaning up to get a deeper kiss, I smiled and held her waist as we kissed deep and slow. She was such an amazing kisser, my stomach was full of butterflies and I can't believe I'm not even getting a boner, I have a sexy girl with underwear and a singlet on and all I can think about I how beautiful she is and how soft her lips are against mine. I pulled away slowly, kissing her lips once more quickly.
"you should sleep" I giggled
"that was a very good kiss, I don't think I'll be able to sleep" she giggled with me, I pulled her close and hugged her like a teddy-bear, closing my eyes.
"sh, Andy tired"
"Justine tired too" she whispered, I felt her head lean on my chest, she sighed tiredly.
"goodnight Justine…"
"goodnight Andy"
Before I knew it, we were both asleep.
SHAUN P.O.V
I woke up on Friday morning around 4am and checked my twitter, surprised some kids were still awake. One tweet stood out to me. 'Oh my god andyclemmensen and his girlfriend are adorable 3 she's so beautiful!' what. When. Why. I went onto Andy's profile which I often lurked since he deleted me and Brooke from his facebook a while back. It wouldn't show who he was in a relationship with, but I saw Justine, his ex, tag him in a post. I clicked onto her page and found out that they're back together and not just dating they're boyfriend and girlfriend. I instantly filled with some kind of jealousy, he never tells me anything anymore. Yeah, sure, we haven't talked in a while. I have ignored most things asked about him. But this is seriously not right. It doesn't feel right.
After going to the studio I stopped at Bradie and Britta's, knocking.
"Shaun?" Bradie said confused as he opened the door.
"I just thought I'd stop by for a drink on the way home"
"coolies" he smiled, I walked into his place. It was small but big, kind of like my apartment but different, less modern.
"so, how's things?" he asked, passing me a beer.
"great, I'm writing music with Sinj lately. Brooke and I are great, but I'm just worried-"
"about Andy?"
"yeah…" I said, taking a sip.
"Shaun, you said you didn't want to speak to him"
"I thought it was for the best."
"it probably is. But I found out something yesterday, Andy was about to kill himself on his birthday"
I froze "w-wh-…why?" I asked, confused.
"Dad always tells me about Andy crying sometimes till two in the morning. Ever since the break-up he's been off, Andy told me himself that he was about to slice down his vein and then Justine knocked at the door and practically saved him"
"cute…but I honestly thought Andy was okay? I'm so stupid" I shook my head, Bradie had a sip of his beer.
"not your fault, he's so bottled up about it, but he breaks down easily. Thank fuck Justine knocked at the door. Or else I'd be in tears planning my step brothers funeral-"
"please, stop" I cringed slightly at the thought of Andy dead.
"he used to tell me everything…now we don't even speak" I sighed
"it'll work out, it always does" Bradie smiled assuringly
"yeah…anyway, how's your work going?"
"excellent, making up tunes for a short movie type of thing"
"that's awesome, you should tell me when it's done" I smiled then looked at my watch.
"shit, I have to pick up Brooke from work. I'll see you, right buddy?" I hugged him quickly
"yeah, sure man, no problem" Bradie smiled
"Bye!" I yelled as I ran out the door. I got in the car and made my way to Brooke's work. I still can't believe Andy wanted to commit, I don't want to believe it, but thanks to Justine he's here. I would speak to Andy myself but I'm afraid to now, I don't know why…I just feel like that it's my fault.