PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I've had a couple of major exams, and a bad week in general, so I just haven't had time to upload! Now I don't have exams until May (I hope!) so I should be back to regular updates soon I've had so many alerts and favourites on this, but please, show me some love with the reviews! This chapter made my cry, again, I just love Blaine and Kurt.
Chapter 5 – Nothing's Real But Love
Burt and Carole flashed their security passes at the cops outside Kurt's room as they walked in. The room had changed over the last two weeks, going from a bland hospital room to a room filled with candy, flowers, presents and Blaine's home comforts. He left the room only to shower and stretch his legs, but never venturing off the floor. After collapsing in front of Finn the day before Blaine had been resting in a comfy chair next to Kurt's bed, dozing off and on, spending the time in between each nap singing softly to Kurt.
When Burt and Carole entered the room Blaine was sleeping, his hand resting on Kurt's. Carole sighed softly at seeing the two boys she considered sons so damaged yet looking so peaceful together. Kurt had yet to wake up or even move, and it was becoming less likely by the day that he would.
"Carole honey," Burt whispered to his wife not wishing to disturb the sleeping Blaine, "Do you honestly believe Kurt will wake up?"
Carole, as an ER nurse knew that the chances were becoming slimmer yet she did not tell her husband that. "I believe that Kurt just needs to rest and reset. He's strong, he's a fighter and you listen to me Burt, he will wake up."#
Blaine slept through Burt and Carole's visit, only waking as the nurse entered for nine o'clock observations. He watched the nurse absently, stroking Kurt's hair and whispering sweet nothings into his ear like a cheesy old movie. Blaine looked over at the pictures and presents that adorned every flat surface, focusing on his favourite of him and Kurt during a Sunday afternoon picnic at the park with the New Directions. He didn't know who had brought it, or who had even taken the photo (probably Mike, he thought) but it was of just he and Kurt lying on a blanket watching the clouds. His arm was around Kurt's shoulders and Kurt's head rested on his chest, their hands entwined.
He didn't know what had brought it on but suddenly he was crying, soft, gentle sobs with tears that slid silently down his cheeks.
"Kurt, I love you. I don't think I ever could have told you that enough. You were hurt your whole life by people who didn't realise how special you were, and I didn't tell you enough times that I love you. Present tense, love, because I will never give up hope that you will wake up and come back to me. Please Kurt, come back to me. I love you so much."
With that he gave Kurt a gentle kiss on his forehead and curled back up to wait out the night. He knew he needed to rest to stop him from collapsing again but his mind was too busy to sleep.
Kurt was floating again, but this time he had purpose, a reason. Waking up was not an option anymore, it was a necessity. His mom had been amazing to speak to, but he knew as much as he wished to stay in that warm place he belonged back on earth, back with Blaine, Burt, Finn and his new mom, Carole. Kurt was many things, but he was not a coward. He would not hide from the truth anymore. He needed to confront his situation instead of fearing it like he had been doing.
He was getting closer to the – surface? He didn't know what it was, but he could smell his anticipation in the air. He was nearly there, just a little bit more, and-
A movement caught the corner of Blaine's eye. He turned expecting to see the window open and letting in a breeze (although why the window would be open on a stormy day did not pass through his somewhat frazzled mind) when he saw the movement again. And again. Kurt's fingers were twitching, just a tiny bit, but after nearly three long weeks of constant worry and despair over the love of his life this was like their first time all over again. Blaine lent forward in anticipation, silently praying that Kurt was in fact waking up, not having some sort of fit.
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instinct
Close my eyes and leap!
It's time to trydefying gravity
I think I'll trydefying gravity
And you can't pull me down!
He didn't know where the song came from inside him, or indeed how he knew the lyrics, but Blaine once again found himself singing to Kurt.
I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buyDefying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down
Kurt's hand moved this time, and Blaine stood up. He was glad the Hummels had gone home to rest. He was rarely selfish but he wanted Kurt to himself for the first time in nearly three weeks. A tear slipped down his face as he watched his beloved struggle to wake up.
"Kurt? Kurt baby, wake up. For me, wake up!" Blaine grabbed Kurt's moving hand and stroked his face, most of which was covered in half-healed cuts and still-nasty bruises.
A low groan came from Kurt. It was completely unlike Kurt in any way to make such a noise, yet Blaine found it the most beautiful thing he had ever heard in that moment.
"Come on Kurt! Just open those eyelids, just for a second. I just want to see those fabulous eyes of yours again!"
"Mmphh" Kurt was trying to reply, his throat parched and dry after not drinking for three weeks. "Blaine?" Kurt groggily opened his eyes a crack letting them adjust to the sudden light. "Blaine? Where am I?" He panicked, not recognising his surroundings.
Blaine leant over to Kurt and kissed him with a passion rarely seen in public by the boys. As he pulled back from Kurt he handed him a glass of water and began to explain, although he didn't really know where to start.
"Kurt baby, you're in the hospital. You have been in a coma for three weeks now sweetie, don't you remember being- attacked?" Blaine thought it best not to mention the rape at the moment as Kurt already had a lot to cope with.
A look of dawning comprehension passed across the paler boy's face as he vaguely remembered being grabbed from behind in his own dorm room. "I- oh God Blaine, you look awful!" Kurt scolded him – he was definitely getting better, even he was falling asleep as he spoke. "What did you do? Not leave the hospital once?" He trailed off as his eyelids fluttered shut, falling back to sleep not five minutes after he had woken up.
Blaine chuckled lightly as he kissed Kurt's forehead, "Something like that, yeah."
After alerting Doctor Mauswell of Kurt's awakening, Blaine rang Burt and Carole, and then sent a mass text message to the rest of the Warblers and New Directions, not caring that it was nearly two thirty in the morning. Almost instantly he received messages from Finn, Wes, David and Mercedes, none of them sleeping well since Kurt had been admitted to the hospital.
He knew the hard work was only just beginning; there was physical and emotional therapy to go through, along with the manhunt for Karofsky and consequently his trial. He couldn't believe that Karofsky hadn't been found yet, but the police guards outside Kurt's door reminded him of the fact each time he left to stretch his legs.
Blaine looked back at Kurt, and a smile lit up his face. He couldn't believe his beautiful Kurt had woken up. He was still battered and severely damaged, but he had woken up all the same.
"Now that's what I like to see!" Burt strode over to Blaine as his eyes gave him the once over to check he had been taking care of himself, before looking at his baby boy. Kurt laid still and sleeping in the hospital bed. Kurt's skeletal frame was pale against the dark blue of the bed sheets and in the right lights the bruises that were still on his face looked almost black.
Burt leant over Kurt, whispering in his ear that he was so proud of him. Carole walked over to Blaine who was sat in his chair gazing at the scene before him, noticing the smile had slipped off his face only to be replaced by an expression of distress
"Blaine?" She asked, kneeling in front of him, "Blaine, are you okay?"
Blaine looked up are her, his eyes full of tears threatening to fall. "I- No." He choked out and his breath caught in his chest. He struggled to breathe for only a few seconds before Carole realised he was having a panic attack, and using he nursing knowledge she knew it would be a bad one because of the situation.
"Blaine! Blaine, come on, snap out of it!" Finn had entered the room to see his mom shaking Blaine's shoulders and the curly-haired teen struggling to breathe, blaming himself Finn knew for what happened to Kurt.
"Burt? What's happening? He said Kurt had woken up." Finn was utterly confused. Why was Blaine not breathing, and why was Kurt asleep?
"I don't know Finn, I think Blaine is having a panic attack or something, let your mom do her stuff He'll be fine. Kurt did wake up, but he's exhausted physically and mentally, so he went back to sleep. He's just sleeping though now Finn I promise."
As Burt was speaking Carole had managed to maneuver Blaine onto her lap, where she was encouraging him to breathe properly again. He responded slowly at first, but after a while his breathing had returned to normal and he looked down embarrassed and ashamed at the show of weakness. It was his boyfriend who deserved the attention, not him.
"'M sorry." He mumbled.
"It's not your fault Blaine, any of this. You need to believe that. If Kurt's gonna heal right then you need to be right beside him, not blaming yourself."
Blaine looked up at Burt with wonder in his eyes. His father had always told everything was his fault because he was gay, as if he had a choice to be gay or not. Burt placed his arm around Blaine's shoulders, feeling how thin he truly was compared to that first night in the hospital.
"Come on, let's order some food up here. I have a feeling we'll be here a while."
Finally normal visiting hours came, and Kurt was still sleeping when the first of several heads popped around the door to his room after showing their security passes to the guards. Wes saw Blaine sleeping in the chair, and motioned to the rest of the Warblers to come in quietly. One by one they entered, and after standing in formation began to hum a soft melody. Wes, David, Jeff and Nick stepped forward together, hands interlinked in a show of unity.
Take all my viscous words and turn them into something good
Take all my preconceptions and let the truth be understood
Take all my prized possessions and leave only what I need
Take all my pieces of doubt and let me be what's underneath
Courage is when you're afraid but you keep on moving anyway
Courage is when you're in pain but you keep on living anyway
We all have excuses why living in fear something in us dies
Like a bird with broken wings, it's not how high he flies but the song he sings
Blaine woke up to the Warbler surrounding him and Kurt, the latter sleeping soundly in his bed. Thad looked over at him and smiled gently, still singing.
Courage is when you're afraid but you keep on moving anyway
Courage is when you're in pain but you keep on living anyway
keep on living anyway
It's not how many times you've been knocked down
It's how many times you get back up
Courage is when you've lost your way but you found your strength anyway
Courage is when you're afraid
Courage is when it all seems grey
Courage is when you make a change and you keep on living anyway
You keep on moving anyway
You keep on giving anyway
You keep on loving anyway
The boys finished singing as Kurt woke up, Blaine moving straight to his side.
"You guys… are the best." Kurt whispered nearly silently as he smiled tiredly up at them. "Thank you."