Mark's POV
I woke up early the next morning, making sure Roger was okay in his room. It seemed now that everything I did revolved around my best friend. I walked into his bedroom to see Roger just sitting on his bed, looking as if he had seen a ghost.
"Rog? Are you okay?" I asked. Roger looked up at me his green eyes glassy.
"I miss her." Was all he whispered. I slowly went over to him and sat down next to him on the bed.
"I know you do Rog, but April wouldn't want you to be like this." H turned to me, hs eye now angry.
"What do you know? How do you know what she would have wanted?" Roger yelled at me.
"Roger calm down. Come on, you know she wouldn't want this." I said, my voice still steady and calm.
"No Mark okay! She wouldn't! but that doesn't change anything! That doesn't change the fact that I'm never going to see her again. That she killed herself, that it's my fault that I didn't see it coming! Can you change that mark! Can you!" by the end of his sentence he was shouting. I stood up from the bed.
"No I can't change what happed! But what use is sitting in the dark being depressed about it?" I asked, starting to get frustrated with him.
"You don't know mark! You think you know everything but you don't!"
"No I don't think that I Just-" I was cut off when Roger quickly got off the bed and knocked me to the ground. He pinned me down by my shoulders.
"Do you know what it's like knowing you're going to die?" He punched me in the stomach "Do you know what it's like to never be able to love again, or even care?" Another blow to my chest. "Do you know how much I just want to be numb?" He stood up and kicked me in the chest. "And do you know what helps me with that? My smack, so just stay out of my way." He kicked me in my side. "You don't know everything Mark" He then turned and walked out of the room. I thank what ever god is up there that Collins was woken up by the noise and came out of his room. I heard a gruff sleep deprived voice say.
"Where is Mark? Roger! Where is Mark?" I could only hear a small muffled reply from Roger fallowed by hard footsteps coming my way. I saw Collins looked over me.
"Damn it Roger!" He yelled. The anarchist helped me sit up against the bed. "Shit mark your side is bleeding." He went into the bathroom and came back in a flash with the emergency bandages. He put it around my waist and helped me stand up. That's when I noticed a pale looking Roger standing in the doorway. He was staring directly at the blood on my shirt.
"It's alright Rog, I'm okay." I told him gently. Collins gave me a glare as if to say 'You should be yelling at him right now.' I just ignored him and turned my attention back to my best friend. I painfully made my way closer to him but backed up. "Roger come on, don't worry I'm fine." As I stared into his eyes I kept saying to my self. It wasn't him it was the drugs. As I contused to say that phrase in my head I realized that it was getting more difficult to believe.
"I-I'm sorry Mark I-I just didn't… I wasn't." he stammered.
"It's aright Rog, just go sit on the couch I'll make you something to eat." He nodded and went into the living room.
"This can't keep happing, what if I didn't wake up?" Collins said softly so Roger wouldn't be able to hear. I sighed.
"I know col, but it's not him, it's just the withdrawal." Collins brown eyes locked with my blue.
"Are you sure about that?" He said. I looked at Roger and frowned, I just shook my head and walked into the kitchen. I made him some soup, our last can and carried it over to him. I set it down in front of him and he ate it quickly. At least he was getting his apatite back. When he was done he turned to me.
"Can I go out on the fire escape?" He asked. I nodded and he got up and went out the window. I sat on the couch for a little, sore from this morning. That is when Maureen came in.
"Hi pookie! I gota run! I'm going to the life with a friend!" she headed towards the door when I stopped her.
"Maureen, who are you meeting?" I had to know, I was fed up with these mysterious meetings.
"Oh just some girl I met in the park the other day! Bi really have to run! Bye!" she kissed me quickly on the cheek and ran out of the loft. I sat back down on the couch watching Roger on the fire escape. Knowing that she was meeting a girl calmed me down. As I contused to watch Roger I noticed him leaning on the railing and shivering slightly. I got up and went on the fire escape.
"Roger, come on, come inside, your getting sick out here." I said, it really didn't make much sense, it was warm out, but there was a cool breeze.
"No I like it out here." He defended looking out to alphabet city, totally ignoring the fact that he could barley stand without the railing.
"Come on Rog, I promise we can come out later." He finally looked away from the city and at me.
"Your promise?" He said, like a child to his parent. I nodded
"Yes, now let's get you inside." I got off the fire escape and he fallowed me and sat on the couch. I went into his room and got a blanket putting it on top of him. I sat down next to him and he probably didn't even notice but he leaned on me. He shut his eyes and stared at the bandages on his wrist. I began to think what if it was Roger who killed him self and not April? I imidetally shut that out of my mind. He isn't going to kill him self. Or maybe he is killing him self, his own blood cells are slowly killing him. Again the hatred for April burned inside of me. Roger moved slightly and pressure on my chest, which still hurt from this morning. it looked at Rogers shivering form and kept repeating. It wasn't him it was the drugs. I started to think… was I lying to my self?
Hey sorry about the long wait for this short chapter! My computer had the first hald of this chapter on it and it crashed so i had to wait to get it fixed but when it was the file was gone :( anyway! thank you for wating and R&R