Author's note: Kind of a fairy-tale crossover…
()()()
Things Merlin Isn't Allowed To Do (According to Prince Arthur)
30: Touch Stuff Presented To Him by Old Crones
It must he Thursday. Thursdays never goes well. This alone should be enough a warning hunch, but alas, this is not the case, and the Prince of Camelot walks through the city with his manservant completely at ease.
Well. Not completely. He has some stuff to worry about - like his knights who really had to toughen up, especially that new one, Bedivere, who starts crying every time anyone as much as nudges his shield (one-on-one combats are near impossible), some of said knights who also seem to be plagued by lecherous thoughts and might dare to jump out from the nearest corner and, err, attack the prince's manservant. And lastly, said manservant, who kept pointing at cute ponies and tripping over air and other things like that which stresses the prince immensely.
However, despite some such worrisome thought, Arthur is at ease. It's a nice bright day, Merlin hasn't fallen and broken his leg/arm/whatever yet and no peasant has come running up to bother the prince with questions about taxes, swords or cows (that man shrieking "He's oppressing me!" didn't really count). Especially he was happy about Merlin's smile. Because when Merlin's happy, Arthur's happy. Most of the time, anyway. If not the happiness involves knights or strange men, because that makes Arthur less happy.
Anyway, they're walking through the city market on this sunny day, with not a worry in the world, and it's a Thursday. Keep this closely in mind.
Arthur is wrapped up in his own mind examining some leather-bound books on a merchant's stand (hm, maybe he'd buy one for Merlin to write in? He's quite certain that Merlin is the kind of persons who make up silly rhymes about unicorns or write his diary every nights before going to bed. But then, the book is leather-bound, and Arthur knows that his manservant might react badly at dead animal skin …) when an old woman, sitting across the street spinning some yarn, motions Merlin to come over. "Hello boy," she says in a creaky voice, "wouldn't you want to buy some yard? Something colourful to make a neckerchief, perhaps." She mutters something on her breath and if you lean in closely you could see the flash of gold in her eyes, on her not such a nice colour. And of course Merlin doesn't suspect a thing, smiling and all. "Let me show you how the spinning wheel works," the woman continues, and smiles (kind of creepily) when Merlin nods and continues to watch.
The prince doesn't notice until then. "Merlin," he says turning around, just having finished purchasing an empty book and a quill, "what's holding you? Let's go ba– "
Just that moment Merlin has touched the spindle with his fingertip. Any reasonable person would have known to never touch spindles presented to them by old, warty women. But Merlin isn't like most people. Arthur reacts just in time to rush forward and catch the boy when he falls, unconscious into the prince's arms.
"Hahaha! Fooled you!" the old crone cackles, gaining the attention of all the people on the market. "Now, the boy is cursed to sleep for ever and ever!" And a dark green smoke wraps around her and then she disappears into it. After a moment the cloud opens and a hand reaches out, grabbing the spinning wheel, "Can't forget this important thing," and then it all vanishes into thin air, leaving no trace whatsoever.
"Come back, foul sorceress!" Arthur shouts, brandishing his sword. "Come back and undo the spell!"
But it's too late. Devastated, Arthur looks at the servant in his arms, who looks completely at peace, eyes closed: like he's just taking an afternoon nap. "Wake up," the prince begs quietly, "Merlin. Come on, wake up. There's no time to be lazing about … you still have to muck out the stables, and walk the dogs. Wake up! Merlin! Please…" There's no response, no reaction whatsoever.
()()()
"Gaius! Gaius! Help!"
The physician looks up startled at the prince barges in yelling at the top of his voice. At seeing the prince's frantic expression and then, to his horror, his own ward unconscious in Arthur's grip Gaius flies to his feet. "What happened?" he exclaims. "Set him in the bed over there."
"We were down at the market," Arthur says. "There was this old woman, a sorceress. I don't know why but she made Merlin touch a spindle and then he just fell down and then she disappeared, using magic. She said he was cursed to an everlasting sleep ..." The prince's breath hitched, and Gaius knew the prince well enough to realize he was close to tears. "What if he won't ever wake up? What if I … what if we can't fix it?"
"We'll find a cure, sire," Gaius assures him.
"I'll do anything I can to help!"
"Then you can start with this." The physician shoots a very heavy book under the prince's nose, and Arthur barely manages to catch it, nearly getting his toes crushed. "There might be something on page 569."
()()()
Hours passes into days. Days into weeks.
Even Uther has noticed the absence of that clumsy servant now. So he goes to ask Gaius if anything has befallen the boy, and is mighty surprised to find the physician's chambers overrun with knights, a prince and lots and lots of old books. The men look completely exhausted, pouring over the texts. They might have been in frenzy before, but now their tiredness overrides their desperation, and the words swam before their eyes: one of them muttered something about needing a headache remedy and searched through the physician's shelves to find one.
"What's this?" the King demands and turns to his son, who looks like a total wreck with dark rings beneath his eyes and some careless stubble along his chin; he's forgotten to shave, which is very unprincely.
"Oh, father," Arthur says. "… I'm sorry for missing that … council meeting, I think it was …"
A raised unimpressed eyebrow is sent his way. "That was two days ago, son."
"Oh … I'm sorry anyway."
"Why didn't you arrive and why are some of Camelot's knights and you sitting here reading old dusty books, when you should be tending to your duties and training? Don't tell me you're reading fairytales or something else just as silly," the King growled, "I will not have it."
"We're trying to find a cure. We're helping Gaius," explains the Prince.
Uther frowns. "Cure?"
"Yes. Merlin …" The prince's face darkens even more, and he looks so desolate and sad and worried, the nearest knight lays a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Merlin was the victim of some kind of spell this old woman cast, and by touching a spindle he … he just fell asleep, but won't wake up, he doesn't respond to anything. It's strong magic."
"What? Magic, in my kingdom! No! I won't have it!" fumes the King, seeing red. Oh, damn it! No matter how many he beheaded, the sorceress seems to multiply tenfold! He cannot have this! If he doesn't do anything drastic soon, in the future witches and wizards will be running wild across the kingdom. "This is grave indeed. When was this? Has the sorceress been found?"
Arthur quickly counts on fingers and toes. "Two weeks, five days and eight hours ago. And no, we searched but she seems to have disappeared completely." His face is dark and sober. "If we do not find a cure soon, it might be …" He swallows harshly. "It might be too late."
"Damn it," mutters the King, "and I was in the mood for a big bonfire ... Well, we'll comb the kingdom after the sorceress. I'll give Gaius all the time and resources he needs to find a cure. You may proceed."
()()()
That very same evening there is, finally, good news. Gaius returns from his search in the library with a thick heavy volume considering mostly of dust. The prince and the knights startle and cough violently as it falls onto the table with a bang: half of the men were snoozing.
"I think I'm onto something," Gaius says and opens a page somewhere in the middle.
"But that's a children's tale," Leon points out when seeing the title.
"Yes, but it might also contain a grain of truth. Here, listen: '... Once upon a time there was a Princess, who at her birth was given three gifts by three king Fairies: the gift of song and the gift of beauty were the first two. Just as the third Fairy were to give the Princess her final gift, an evil Fairy, who practiced dark magic, appeared in a cloud of dark green smoke. And the Evil fairy cursed the Princess to at her sixteenth birthday befall a terrible fate: touch a spindle and die before the sun sets. The court was horrified, as were the three king Fairies. But it was a curse and thus irrevocable.'
"Hang on, I fail to see what this has to do with Merlin," Gwaine cuts in, "lest he's a Princess and I'm fairly sure he isn't. We already got one Princess, what's to do with two? Save for the obvious of course: I wouldn't mind having him, Princess or not, in my be-"
Arthur elbows him in the ribs. "I forbade you from calling me such! And don't talk of Merlin like that!"
"Boys," Gaius admonishes them and they manage to look at least partly guilty and ashamed. "I haven't reached the point yet. '… At her sixteenth birthday, the Princess was fooled by an old woman to touch the spindle of a spinning wheel, causing to fall into a deep sleep. There was nothing to prevent this. Originally the Evil Fairy's curse meant for her to die, but, thanks to the invention of one of the three Kind Fairies, it sent her to sleep for a hundred years… But there was one way to break the curse: with the First Kiss of True Love.'"
"A kiss!" Gwaine cries out. "That's it! Why didn't we think of this before?" and he stands and marches over to the bed, where Merlin lay asleep, and before Arthur or any of the other knights can rush forward to intervene, he leans in-
"No! Stop!" shouts Gaius, and Gwaine draws back immediately. The physician grumbled angrily at them. "Didn't you boys listen at all? It says first kiss. We only have one chance! If we're wrong about who is to kiss him, then we'll have to find another cure, and who knows how long that'll take or if there even is another cure?"
"We have to think through this very carefully," Leon says, sinking back into his chair, eyes flickering between his comrades.
"I could do it," Gwaine says. "It could easily be me! I mean, I'm his best friend and everything."
"Or me," says Lancelot with a proud smile, "I befriended Merlin first, and have treated him well over the years. And I'm more handsome than you."
"Are not!"
"Am too!"
"I," Arthur exclaims loudly and stands up on his chair for emphasis, "am the handsomest and strongest of us all. I'm also the Prince. And I've known him the longest. Of course it's Iwho am supposed to kiss Merlin!"
Percival stands too. "I protest! To all of you!"
"Oh gods," groans Elyan hiding his face in his hands. "Now look what you've started, Gaius!"
"Boys." Silence. "Good. Listen to me. The question isn't who's the strongest or handsomest or best friend." Gaius glares at the whole bunch, since as the boy's mentor and father-figure he disapproves of them all in some manner - they're all fighters with no idea how to clean their own socks and more or less arrogant and what Merlin needs, Gaius thinks, is a considerable, thoughtful lover who is very reliable. As he explains this to the knights they all look quite downfallen.
"The question is," Gaius continues, "whom is Merlin most likely in love with?"
The first one to go from Gaius' mental list is Gwaine: the man flirts and drinks too much, even if he has some sense of humour and at least knows how to properly tend to one's hair. Next, Elyan, he doubts Merlin thinks of the knight of anything more than a friend; they don't know each other that well. Percival – maybe, the man is kind and thoughtful. Leon – maybe, too, though he's got a worrisome fixation to his crossbows. But, Gaius isn't stupid. Of course he knows there could really only be one person whom Merlin truly loves.
"Arthur," the physician says gravelly, "you have my permission to kiss my ward."
The knights splutter at this announcement and Arthur grins smugly. "Ha! In. Your. Face."
"If it doesn't work I'm all in for it," Gwaine offers. "If it does work, though, I suggest we all go to the tavern and celebrate!" He's mostly ignored. Everyone is focusing on the prince now, and his next move. But the prince isn't moving, just staring at Merlin.
"Any day now, sire," Gaius says. There's a displeased frown on his brow. It's clear he doesn't like the thought of letting anyone touch his ward and wants it quickly over with.
Arthur's throat feels suddenly dry. But this is not the time for hesitation! He's not a coward, for heaven's sake! It's just a bit rattling to take Merlin's first kiss knowingly, even if it breaks a terrible curse. Swallowing, he leans down slowly, placing his hands on either side of Merlin's face. Slowly, carefully. Merlin's lips are warm and soft and kind of wonderful when he meets them in a short, chaste kiss.
The warlock's eyes opens, he looks at the prince, blinking confused. "Arthur? What happened?"
The prince gasps. "Merlin! It worked! You're awake!" And in his joy, he leans down to give Merlin a second kiss, a proper one, and a third and perhaps even a fourth. Merlin is surprised but returns them happily; Gaius' frown deepens.
"Well, whatcha say? Tavern, here we come!" Gwaine drags Leon, Elyan, Percival and Lancelot with him out of the door before they can protest.
Gaius walks over and pulls Merlin into a strong fatherly hug, interrupting any further kisses. An old man has his limits. "Now I'm just relieved that you're safe, Merlin. We were very worried about you."
"I don't remember much," Merlin says. "Was I out cold for that long?" He reaches out to touch Arthur's stubble, foreign beneath his fingertips, and the prince kisses him again. "That tickles," Merlin giggles.
"You may continue that later," Gaius tells the pair, who lightens up.
"Tonight?" Arthur asks hopefully.
"No!" growls the physician. "Have you no ability to keep your hands off my ward for a few hours?"
The prince dearly hopes this doesn't meant Gaius plans to make Merlin wear a chastity belt, or something. That'd be a horrible fate indeed.
()()()
King Uther is also rewarded: they catch this witch who's selling – or attempting to sell, at least – very red, very magically poisoned apples (especially seeming to favour maidens baking pie. Arthur is glad Merlin has no idea how to bake pie.) and the king can have his longed-for big bonfire. He's not quite sure what the bunch of short people are doing there, though, dancing around the flames (except for one of them which falls asleep every five minutes and the other one who sneezes every time he tries to dance, maybe he's allergic to something).
Anyway, they don't seem to have any kind of magic, so Uther lets them go and they march out of the city singing about mines. Which was probably for the best; a couple of hours later Gaius find an old book with a story, warning that the horrible curse of Eternal Baldness would befall any man who kills a dwarf fond of singing (Uther is relieved he hadn't executed any of the dwarves, for going bald is his worst nightmare).
For future reference, this was a Tuesday, not a Thursday. They're always better than Thursdays.