"Pavel, this was supposed to be a relaxing shore leave!" Hikaru Sulu shouted as another wave crashed over the deck of the ship.
"You were the one who suggested pirates!" Chekov shouted back, struggling to maintain his grip on the sail that was threatening to break away.
Lightning flashed, momentarily outlining a huge figure looming over the ship. "Chekov! Did you see that?"
"See what? I cannot see a thing!" the Russian returned, his wet bangs plastered to his foreheard.
A few minutes later, the storm had calmed. Rain was no longing pounding the deck and the gloom was lightening bit by bit.
"Pavel! Didn't you see that...thing?"
"What thing?"
"It was...a thing! It was huge!"
"Hikaru, your eyes were playing tricks on you."
Sulu just shook his head. He turned, about to return to his station. "Pavel!" he cried.
Rolling his eyes, Chekov turned and his mouth fell open. "Hikaru?"
"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?"
"I think so."
"Wha-" Sulu's words were cut off by a tentacle snaking forward and wrapping itself around his middle. "Pavel!"
Chekov dove into action, leaping belowdecks to where the weapons had been stashed during the storm. He clambered back up and raced after the tentacle that was dragging Sulu away. With a deft slice borne of hours spent as Sulu's dueling partner, Chekov severed the tentacle moments before it would have carried Sulu off the ship.
Sulu curled up against a barrel, gasping. "Thanks. That was close."
A weird shriek sounded behind them. The pair cursed under their breaths. Whatever it was, it was angry. And it was coming back.
"What do we do?" Sulu asked.
"I saw this in a movie once. We let it get a good grip on the ship, then blow them both sky high while we watch from a distance, safe in the lifeboat."
There was a crunching sound and they poked their heads over the balustrade. "That lifeboat?" Sulu said.
Chekov frowned. "That didn't happen in the movie."
The monster continued its destructive path up the side of the ship. A loud crack was followed by the hiss of water pouring into the hold. "Drowning or eaten by squid?" Sulu asked.
"We can still get to the magazine and light the powder. At least we have a better chance with the explosion than with Cthulhu."
"Ca-what?"
"Cthulhu. The famous Russian sea monster that inspired those pirate movies?"
Sulu raised an eyebrow but didn't bother challenging his friend.
The pair slipped and slid across the deck to the magazine. One lantern had managed to remain burning in spite of the storm. Chekov hurriedly grabbed handfuls of powder and laid something resembling a trail all the way to the stern of the ship. He and Sulu took their positions on the railing, tipped the lantern over, and dove.
They swam desperately, hoping the monster hadn't noticed their departure. Exhausted, they stopped, barely managing to tread in place. They looked back toward the ship and their hearts skipped a beat each. The monster had spotted them and appeared to be gazing at them furiously.
The ship exploded with a deafening boom. Chekov and Sulu had to throw themselves hither and thither in an attempt to avoid flaming debris.
Once the smoke cleared, their eyes met and they burst out laughing.
They were still laughing when they materialized on the transporter pad of the Enterprise.
First Officer Spock looked at them curiously.
A/N: I know absolutely nothing about Cthulhu. From my very quick Google search I got tentacles, arms, legs, wings. This is just something silly I felt compelled to write after a comment in the forums. The movie referenced is Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.