I'll just start by saying that I'm sorry. About a month and a half ago I gave up on my fight against my self-harm – I let it consume me and it resulted in me nearly taking my own life. If it wasn't for the help of my amazing teachers, friends and family I wouldn't be here to post this. I don't want pity, or fake sympathy, I get enough of that at school, I'd just like some understanding and patience please. It's obviously been a tough time and I'm trying to get back on track. I can't make any promises as to when the next chapter will be up but it is my summer holidays soon so hopefully I'll get one up for you then Once again I am so sorry.
Thanks to PojaTheDinosaur :D
Chapter Twelve – It Gets Better
Coming home was a strange sensation for the boys – neither had set foot in the new home for seven weeks. Kurt was half asleep when he arrived home and allowed Finn to carry him up the stairs to his room, leaving Blaine to follow behind tiredly and Burt and Carole to deal with the bags.
Blaine knew they were lucky that Kurt could be released from the hospital so soon, but he was worried about the psychological impact on his boyfriend; Kurt was only speaking to him and Burt once more and flinched at any sudden movements or loud noises. The dapper boy knew it was only to be expected but it made his heart tear to see his boyfriend in such a state.
Finn laid Kurt on his queen-sized bed and retreated out of the room into his next door. Blaine moved forward and climbed into the bed behind Kurt, leaning up against the headboard. He smiled at Carole as she walked in with their bags.
"It's so good to be home like this." Carole whispered, spying the sleeping boy on the bed.
Blaine glanced at his love before meeting Carole's eyes. "I suppose I'll have to leave soon, I can't impose any more."
Carole was shocked. Blaine knew he was part of the family after his parents made it clear that he wasn't part of theirs – he and Cooper mainly relied on each other when the older brother was around.
"Don't be silly Blaine, you're staying here!"
"What- How- Why?"
"Because I've just had your parents on the phone again. They're moving to Europe and want to leave you here, I'm sorry kid." Burt had chosen that moment to enter the room, "They're faxing the guardianship forms over in the morning and as of tomorrow afternoon you'll be a Hudson-Hummel."
Blaine was flabbergasted – a real family? "What about tuition, and rent, and insurance? I can't expect you to pay for all of that!"
Burt shook his head. "Your parents are willing to continue paying tuition and insurance, you said it yourself that you had plenty saved up and as your guardians it is our responsibility to feed you and clothe you anyway."
A rebellious tear made its way down Blaine's cheek as he answered. "Thank you so much! I still want to pay for Kurt's bills though- and won't it be weird dating my brother?"
Carole laughed softly. "He's not going to be your brother – you just share the same parents. And thank you, so, so much dear."
A while later, as the sun was setting, Blaine's reading session was interrupted by a low groan sounding from the bed next to him.
"Kurt?"
"Mmm, Blaine?"
"How're you doing? Do you want me to take you downstairs for a bit?"
Kurt shook his head and then grimaced at the pain the action caused him. "Can you please just get my meds?" he whispered uncertainly, "and then I need to take a shower, I'm disgusting!"
Laughing, Blaine moved to Kurt's – their – dresser and brought over the numerous medications that the paler boy had to take. As Kurt shakily took his meds he mentally assessed his long list of injuries – broken ribs, a healing lung, a healing hip, stab wounds and whatever the bandage on his stomach was covering.
"Blaine baby, why do I have bandages on my stomach?" the sick boy asked timidly, afraid of the answer that he would receive.
Blaine thought for a moment about the best way to phrase his reply, "When he came – the last time – he wrote something there, with his knife."
Surprisingly Kurt took this information well. He took a deep breath – well, as deep as he could anyway – and nodded once. "I can deal with that- I think. Blaine, I- I just want to apologise, for everything. I'm so sorry you got dragged into this, and now with your parents and the trial and-"
Smiling softly Blaine took his love's hands. "No, I love you Kurt and I don't care about any of that. You're worth it- we're worth it. We'll take everything as it comes and deal with it only when we have to, and as for the trial – don't worry, it's not for a few weeks yet so take your time to recuperate and readjust."
Kurt nodded stiffly, biting back tears. "I suppose you're right. Lie with me?"
"Always"
Kurt slept through the night and well into the next day without any nightmares, and when Carole came to check on he and Blaine at lunch time it was to find the younger boy sat up in bed, glasses perched on his nose and a thick book in his hands.
"Hi Blaine" she said softly.
"Hey. He hasn't woken once so I figured I'd leave him to sleep as long as he could." He whispered, laying the book on the shelf next to the bed.
"He just needs to be woken for his meds. The doctor said his lung wasn't punctured like they first thought, just scratched so that's why he's been allowed home. We just need to keep him loaded up on meds for a couple of weeks, the poor thing."
Carole laid a hand on Blaine's forearm, "Would you mind waking him up please? I know how he is."
Blaine nodded before laying a hand on Kurt's cheek, "Kurt, honey, wake up. You need your meds."
His words were met with a low moan from the boy in question, "Mmkay."
Blaine helped lift Kurt into a sitting position without putting too much strain on any of his injuries, but Kurt still winced as pressure was put on his hip. Just because the cast had been removed before they had left the hospital didn't mean it wasn't still tender.
The younger boy handed Kurt his medication and a glass of water, helping him down the before moving him back into his previous position.
"Sing to me?" Kurt asked as his step-mom left the room.
"What song?"
Kurt shrugged lightly, and then winced, "Anything."
Hey friend
When you feel like you're alone
And the world throws out a lot of hateIt's not the end
You're not out there on your own
There's still so much in life to celebrateJust look up
Cause those skies are going to clear
There so much more than just the here and now
Just look up
Cause a better day is here
Tomorrow feel the sunlight shining down
Blaine had chosen the song because he knew that Kurt would feel unwanted, used and broken over the next few weeks and he wanted to remind him that he was none of those things; he was loved and that was something that Karofsky would never understand.
It gets better, better, better
The pain will let up, let up, let up
If you fall just get up, get up, get up
Ohh, cause there's another way
It gets better, better, better
The world gets lighter, lighter, lighter
So be a fighter, fighter, fighter
Ohh, just live to see that day
Yeah, live to see that day
Live to see that dayHey friend
We used to feel like you
No end in sight
Fearing everyday
Just defend the part of you that's true
Find yourself and you will find the way
Kurt snuggled into his boyfriend, enjoying the way Blaine's chest vibrated as he leant against it. It made him feel warm and secure, and he knew in that moment that Blaine was the one that he wanted to live the rest of his life with.
Don't give up
Just take another look
And you can shine
It's time you took the stage
Don't give up
Cause your life is like a book
All you got to do is turn the page
There are friends yet to meet,
There are songs to be sung
There are beautiful sunsets
And battles are won
There's love to be found if you just stick around
Don't give up your life has just begun
It gets better, better, better
The pain will let up, let up, let up
If you fall just get up, get up, get up
Ohh, cause there's another way
It gets better, better, better
The world gets lighter, lighter, lighter
So be a fighter, fighter, fighter
Ohh, just live to see that dayIt gets better, better, better
The pain will let up, let up, let up
If you fall just get up, get up, get up
Ohh, cause there's another way
It gets better, better, better
The world gets lighter, lighter, lighter
So be a fighter, fighter, fighter
Ohh, just live to see that dayIt gets better, better, better
The world gets lighter, lighter, lighter
So be a fighter, fighter, fighter
Ohh, just live to see that dayIt gets better, better, better
It gets better, better, better
It gets better, better, better
It gets better, better, better
Blaine's voice trailed off as the song ended and he noted that Kurt was once again asleep. He slid slowly out from underneath Kurt and tiptoed out of the room, heading downstairs for his much anticipated hot chocolate.
Downstairs Blaine, Carole and Burt spent the next half an hour planning for Thanksgiving, and how Blaine would blend into their family life.
"Are you sure that you're okay with this?" he asked for what must have been the hundredth time.
"Yes," The two parents laughed.
"We want you here, Finn wants you here and most importantly Kurt wants you here. You're stuck with us." Burt chuckled, lightly punching Blaine's shoulder.
Blaine blinked back his onset of tears, suddenly emotional over such a touching familial moment.
"Thank you so much. I can't describe how much this means to me."
Finn Hudson wasn't the sharpest tool in the toolbox but he could easily interpret the looks and whispers that he received when he arrived at school the day after Kurt returned home.
"That's the one whose brother got raped by Karofsky."
"Poor guy, living with a guy who got raped."
Of course, he'd been hearing those for weeks, it was the ones along the lines of "It's his fag of a brother who got our line backer locked up!" that really hurt him. Hadn't these people learnt anything after what happened to Kurt?
The giant of a teen made it to the choir room as quickly as possible where he was soon accosted my Mercedes, Rachel, Brittney, Santana, Tina and Quinn. Lauren hung back from the group, unsure whether to join because she didn't know Kurt as well.
"How is he?" Mercedes blurted out, "When can we see him?"
Finn took a step back, startled. "He's still groggy from the medication and the pain a bit too, but as long as you guys don't crowd him or scare him you should be able to come and see him tomorrow after school."
"TOMORROW?" Mercedes screeched, "I want to see my boo today!"
Finn shrugged as he looked to Rachel for help. "I'm sorry, the Warblers have already shotgunned tonight and he can't have many visitors or it could wear him out or something."
Santana glared at Mercedes, "Princess needs to be comfortable, and if you hurt him in any way I will ends all of you!"
Kurt woke up from his nap at around four thirty to find Blaine towel-drying his hair. He watched him for a while, quite content to feel relaxed in his own bed for the first time in many weeks. Once Blaine noticed that he was awake he climbed onto the bed next to him and laid a kiss ever so gently on his forehead.
"Don't," Kurt complained, "I'm a gross and sticky!"
Blaine laughed, "Oh you must be feeling better! Do you want me to help clean you up? You can bathe or shower for a few days yet."
Kurt blushed and nodded his consent. Whilst it would be hard he knew that if he was ever going to be normal again he needed to let Blaine do this for him.
After his wash Kurt laid back down on his bed, this time dressed in comfortable grey sweats and a loose white t-shirt.
"Are you up to a few visitors?" Blaine asked, "A certain group of birdies are missing you!"
Kurt froze for a second, "Oh my GaGa, sectionals! Oh no!"
"Don't worry, we won. They pulled in a few freshmen to cover for us but as soon as you can we'll be allowed to join once more, but not before you are ready! Luckily the New directions won theirs too, and we're headed to different regionals so hopefully both groups will be able to go to nationals in New York!" Blaine's eyes lit up as he talked animatedly, "but anyway, they wanted to visit you today."
Kurt nodded hesitantly, "They won't come too close though will they?"
Blaine shook his head, "No, until you give the all-clear they're on their best behaviour," he laughed, "or at least, they're on a threat of suspension from Wes."
A knock on the front door alerted the couple to the impending arrival of their schoolmates, and Burt's gruff voice gave permission for them to head upstairs to Kurt's bedroom.
Blaine counted silently, "In five, four, three, two, one-"
A chorus of "Hi Kurt, hi Blaine!" echoed through Kurt's large room. Only the Warblers closest to him had come, but even so this amounted to about eight boys stood in the doorway.
"Are you feeling any better? It's so good to see you up and about!" Wes exclaimed from his position at the front of the group.
Kurt nodded happily; it was good to see his friends again. He looked at Blaine questioningly, "Could we head down to the lounge? It's bigger and less cramped than in here."
The younger boy nodded and two of the more muscular Warblers, Beatz and Thad, approached Kurt slowly to carry him downstairs.
"I'm alright guys, I know you won't hurt me." Kurt reassured them, but he still flinched as the two boys picked him up and carried him down to the large sofa.
David stepped forward, "In true Warbler fashion, we've prepared something for you."
Kurt giggled, "Again? You all spoil me!"
"You deserve it Kurt, we love you like a brother- well, except for Blaine, because that would be weird." Jeff whispered, "You changed us all."
Wes nodded, and then the group began to hum the introduction to the song.
When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.
Wes and David took the lead on the next verse, making overly dramatic faces and gestures towards their honorary brother.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
Jeff, Nick and Thad then took over, their voices blending smoothly together in a sound that had never been heard in any other Warbler song or practice.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
Beatz, Trent and Justin took their turn at singing lead – the three boys who were used to being in the background sang with confidence and sincerity to Kurt, meaning every word that left their mouths.
There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.
The group of eight blended together once more, swaying to the beat and grinning at the small smile that was spreading across Kurt's face and the love that was focused upon him by Blaine, who had one arm wrapped around Kurt's shoulders and the other running through his chestnut hair.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
Kurt and Blaine clapped with all of their strength at the end of the performance, and Carole complimented the eight boys as she brought in a blanket to wrap around Kurt.
Once the boys were settled Kurt leant back against Blaine and sighed in content, "So how's life at Dalton without me?"