Things That Merlin Isn't Allowed To Do (According to Prince Arthur)
33: Get Split Into Different People
Merlin awakes to bright sunlight falling through the window and landing square on his face. However, for some reason, this doesn't bother him. In fact he's just filled to the brim with jolly happy energy and jumps out of bed, hastily throws a bright red neckerchief around his neck and dashes out of the room. Oh, he can't wait to face the day! It's going to be so nice and good and fun!
He smiles broadly at Gaius when he dashes past him (grabbing an apple from the table on the way), despite the man's curious raised eyebrow. "Morning! I'm off to serve Arthur now, so I'll see you later Gaius!" he says happily, eager to get going and wake Arthur and start his duties.
"Good morning, Merlin. I wondered if you could-"
"Sorry, but I'm in a hurry, I've a prat waiting and swords to polish and all that! See you later!"
And the warlock waves at the physician and skips out of the door, whistling a merry tune while taking the occasional chew off the apple. What a nice apple! It's be best he's ever tasted. It makes him feel so good, so full of ... energy! He can't remember when he last had such a good happy day. The sun's shining, he's off to meet Arthur, and dress him and polish his sword – oh, he can't wait! It's going to be so fun!
()()()
Hm, his ward is behaving very oddly today, Gaius observes. Usually he's not a morning person. This must be the first time in two weeks he's even woken on time, not to mention early. Maybe he's had a change of heart or just some very good sleep? Either way, Merlin runs off before Gaius has the chance to ask, apparently very eager to serve.
Very well. A good attitude can never hurt, can it? At least the prince will for once not complain about his servant's tardiness and Gaius is only glad about that.
Thus not especially worried, Gaius starts his morning duties; preparing a salve for Lady Grete who always complains about her itchy skin, sorting through and re-labeling bottles, writing some notes for his Annals On Medicine and other important things that old physicians do.
It's not until about an hour later, when a second Merlin emerges from his ward's bedroom that Gaius gets ... suspicious.
()()()
Merlin blinks up at the ceiling and immediately his heart starts fluttering at a nervous pace. The sun is up, far too much up, and he's not up which means – he's late. Oh no! What's he going to do? If he's late (again) Arthur - and Gaius - will kill him! They'll have his head on a stake! Oh no! Should he hide? In the cupboard maybe? Under the bed? But Gaius might come and search for him if he doesn't appear. And then, and then – no, Gaius wouldn't do that. Would he? What if he does anyway! He has to get to Arthur somehow without Gaius noticing he's late!
Then his only choice is to…
At the thought Merlin swallows hard, trying to will away the fear to no avail. He'll have to sneak out, past Gaius' watchful eyes and dangerous eyebrows, through those frighteningly large hallways, past the guards...or should he just walk past the guards like usual? What if they think he's sneaking and think he's stolen something or us up to mischief? Oh no, then he'd get caught! But if he waits, then he'll be late. He has to go...he has to, there's no other choice.
Hands trembling he ties a dark blue neckerchief around his neck as tight as possible but his hands almost do not obey, and it takes a while to get his clothes in order and each minute that passes makes him even more nervous. "Oh god, the prince will have my head, oh no,oh no," Merlin gasps as he can't find his shoes. His shoes! Gone!
Eventually he manages to locate them under the bed and puts them on, and then proceed to sneak out. Which doesn't go…that well but Gaius manages to grab him before he has a chance to flee and hide in the cupboard.
"When did you get back?" Gaius asks suspiciously, staring at his ward very intensely making Merlin squirm and flush and wanting to crawl back into his room and hide forever.
"I, err, I wasn't, umm, sorry-"
"There's no need to apologize, just explain to me. I never saw you walk back." The physician's eyes narrows. "Did you use magic? I've told you to be careful!"
"No! No! I d-didn't!" Merlin stutters, horrified now – Gaius mentioned m-magic! In the middle of day when anyone could walk in! Is he crazy? - waving his hands and then immediately retracting them as he realizes he's holding them out in front of him and he doesn't like having any body parts … spread out like that, making him vulnerable. "I swear! I just l-left, I. I." His voice is trembling and he's on the verge of tears and helplessly buries his face in his neckerchief. "Sorry, sorry, sorry."
The old man sighs. "Merlin, just – don't do it again."
"I promise," he says shakily, not completely comprehending what it is that he's not supposed to do again. For a minute he just stands there, red in the face and silent and pressed against the wall like a deer caught in the headlines.
"Well, don't just stand there!" Gaius cries. "Arthur won't like it if you're late."
The prince! Oh god, he'd almost forgot! Terrified that he's managed to forget and thus get ever tardier and even more likely to get skewered on an angry prince's sword-point, Merlin rushes out of the room, toward the kitchens. He better bring the prince breakfast. With lots of apples and sausages and wine and other stuff Arthur likes…he really hopes Arthur won't be angry…
()()()
Oh, this day is going to suck so darn hard. He can feel it the moment he wakes. Yeah, today won't be a good day. He's in the mood of going to the tavern and get ass drunk and get into some pointless bar fight involving lots of fists. If not finding a bar fight then he'll simply just take out his anger on a passing-by servant or one of those stupid guards who couldn't even guard a key if it was laying in their pocket; ha! They're so easy to trick, it's laughable. Not that Merlin would laugh. It'd be stupid, and when everything sucks why the hell would he laugh anyway.
He glances down at his clothes, annoyed at their bright blue and red tones and with a wave of the hand he lets magic do the work, changing the garments into much more fitting tones of midnight black, before walking out of the room to fetch that arrogant, idiotic cabbagehead's breakfast.
()()()
A third Merlin emerges from the bedroom adjourning the physician's chambers and now Gaius is starting to get frustrated, really.
"Merlin!" the physician shouts angrily. "I thought I told you, no more of that! When will you ever be careful?"
Merlin snorts. "What the fuck do I care about what you say, old man."
"Watch your language! Where did you come from, anyway? You just walked out of the door."
"No, I didn't," bristles Merlin back at the physician, crossing his arms across his chest; his face is darkened, with a glare deeper and angrier than what Gaius ever before has seen. His way of dress is different, Gaius notices, he's sure Merlin's trousers has never had that large rip across the knee. Or been black either, come think about it. All of Merlin's clothes are a shade of black or dark grey all of a sudden. Very odd indeed. "Are you fucking blind, stupid old man?" continues Merlin in a heated rant. "Leave me the fuck alone or I'll-"
Just then the door opens and out saunters a neckerchief-free, open-jacketed (with nothing underneath!) Merlin with a predatory grin on his face. He stops on the lowest step of the tiny stair, eyeing Angry Merlin intensely and sounding a low whistle in appreciation.
"Well hellothere ..."
"Oh my," gasps Gaius. What has his ward done now?
The new Merlin looks at the old man like bemused, then proceeds to ignore him completely and walks over to his twin or magical projection, or whatever the other Merlin is, and leans against him, straight into his personal space. It seems as if that's a sense this version of Merlin is lacking.
"Well, aren't you handsome," the fourth Merlin purrs and with a grin leans in further, trailing a finger down Angry Merlin's chest in a manner that makes both Angry Merlin and Gaius splutter (for different reasons). "Extremely, actually…. I wouldn't mind finding an alcove for the both of us..."
Very Angry Merlin glares at with the strength of a hundred dragons, fire in his eyes. "Get the fuck off of me!"
"Have I missed anything?"
Gaius swirls around, aghast. "Oh god no. Not another one!"
"So … I haven't … or … have I?"
"I say you have. I mean, I'm always right," intones another voice haughtily.
Gaius thinks his day has just turned a lot worse.
()()()
The bed curtains are ripped open nearly violently accompanied by a happy sing-song voice. "Morning, sire! Look, it's such a bright day! Rise and shine, lazy daisy! Up and at 'em!"
Arthur glares up at his too-happy manservant, blinking when greeted by the sight of a row of very white teeth and a bright red neckerchief. "You're very jolly today, Merlin. Has anything in particular happened?"
Merlin is more or less jumping on the spot, like a child about to by sweets on the market. "It's a wonderful day! I'm so, so excited, like bubbling over! The sun's bright, there's not a cloud in the sky and I'm going to polish your armour!" He claps his hands excitedly.
Arthur looks at the servant oddly. "Have you hit your head?" Then, with a threatening edge to the tone (he'll beat Gwaine into a pulp if he's dragged Merlin to the tavern…again), the prince asks, "You haven't been at the cider have you?"
"No, of course not, why?" the servant asks and smiles wide, looking at him and then he starts whistling. Bloody whistling. Deciding it's far too early for this craziness Arthur falls back onto the bed with a groan and covers his ears with a pillow. It doesn't help much to muffle the sound though. He's got to find some better, thicker, more sound-proof pillows if this goes on.
"Just, quit that endless chattering and that bloody whistling! And fetch me breakfast," he grunts out.
"No problem, Arthur!"
Really, if not for those stupid ears, Arthur would've to fired Merlin long ago and found another servant without delay. Someone who not just once or twice but alwaysis on time, someone who knows about respect and self-preservation and isn't so stupid … Someone who doesn't whistle.
Continuing his merry tune Merlin is out of the door and with a sigh, Arthur pulls himself out of bed. He usually does it like this; Merlin's always been so shy and whatnot and they've both realized the most comfortable way is for the prince to dress himself (at least until he's half-decent) while the servant is off fetching food and then Merlin would just help him into his jacket and cloak or armour later. So he changes into a pair of freshly laundered trousers and a plain shirt and reaches for his sword-belt to clasp around his waist, pondering his servant's behaviour. (Don't tell anyone but Arthur does this quite often, thinking about his servant that is (in ways he maybe shouldn't) two or three times a day, but let's be quiet about that, okay, it's a bit embarrassing.)
Maybe Merlin really has hit his head, Arthur muses and then shrugs it off. Merlin is like that sometimes – unpredictable and odd. He shouldn't be that surprised, really.
"S-sorry I'm late, sire."
The voice is so quiet and timid that the prince just barely hears it and it takes a second for him to react. Instinct takes over: Arthur grabs his sword and whirls around on his heel, to face-
"Merlin!" he cries, angrily. "Don't startle me like that - I could have cut your head off, you idiot!"
Merlin just stands there, red in the face and eyes darting and knuckles white as he clenches to the filled-to-the-brim-plate (mm, smells like bacon), like uncertain of what to do and what to say. It's quite out of character - especially considering the mood he was in five minutes ago. Merlin is many things, true, but he's not hesitant.
But, after a quick mental calculation of the time, Arthur's eyes narrows and at this Merlin tenses even more, like he's a hare trapped in a corner and Arthur is the hunter armed with a dangerous crossbow. "Hang on…how did you get here so fast? The kitchens aren't that close. Going there and back takes you usually four times that long."
"I, I fetched breakfast first. Before. I mean," Merlin stutters and nearly falls backwards, "before c-coming. Coming here. Sire."
"You've already been here, you woke me."
"…N-no, I didn't, I would have but then I was late so I couldn't," says the servant in a breathy trembling voice and as if a dam has burst, words tumble out of mouth at a quick pace. "But I didn't mean to sire, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry-"
The prince stares at the servant who is near hyperventilating now. Oh god is he going to cry? … No, no, don't cry, don't cry! He steps forward, raising a hand in a hopefully calming manner and says as firmly but gently as possible (Why is Merlin so ... hysterical all of a sudden?) "Calm down, you …"
An insult rests on his tongue, but seeing Merlin's glistening eyes, something in his chest stings at the thought of calling him names and Arthur finds himself just standing in front of his servant awkwardly not knowing what to do or say.
"Err," he says eventually, seeing his servant still hasn't moved and still is on the verge of hyperventilating. "Why don't you just … sit down for a moment … all right?"
"I-I shouldn't!" Merlin cries. "I can't! Y-you're the prince and, and I'm just a servant and –"
"Merlin. What is up with you today? One moment you're all jolly and happy and the next you're all meek and-"
"Breakfast incoming!"a joyful shout echoes across the room and an apple hits him between his eyes before his usually sharp reflexes warns him of the projectile so he can catch it.
As a later note, Arthur, Crown Prince of Camelot, did absolutely not faint at the sight of another Merlin, with a huge smile on his face entering his chamber with a loaded tray, glancing at worried/scared/maybe hysterical Merlin and happily proclaiming: "What's with the long faces? Cheer up! It's such a beautiful day, it's perfect!"
It was just a very manly, understandable reaction to a sudden shock. That's all.
Before the world goes black Arthur thinks he hears his idiot manservant mutter; "Oops. I didn't mean it to happen like that."
()()()
"…Sire? Can you hear me?"
Arthur thinks he knows that voice. Yeah. Oh. He groans. It's Gaius. That means…he's probably...Oh no. It wasn't some weird bad dream. It was real.
"Look, he's coming to!"
"Do you think he'll be all right? He'll be, won't he? Won't he?"
"Ask someone who fucking cares."
"Back off a little. Give him some space," Gaius mutters and apparently shoos off whoever are standing around (they all sound eerily familiar), because when they continue talking they're further away, like across a room. It's not that much a difference but enough for Arthur to dare open his eyes.
"Oh don't be so angry and frustrated all the time!" He can recognize that tone. It sounds like overly jolly Merlin this morning. "You're such a killjoy. Don't be! Cheer up! See life on the bright side!"
"If you don't shut up I'll kick your fucking jaw in," threatens a very cold, very angry Merlin-voice.
"That's not very nice," chides the other Merlin-voice in a merry tone.
"Who are all you people and why do you look like me? What's going on?" another confused voice ask and the prince thinks it's time to interfere now before he becomes insane.
"Yeah," Arthur agrees and pulls himself up to his elbows. "What's going on?" He glances to his right, finding Gaius sitting on a chair next to his bed. So he's still in his chambers then.
And there are five different Merlins hanging around the room; one is off sulking in a corner, glaring darkly at the chandelier in a manner which Arthur fears will sever its chain and send it crashing to the floor. He's dressed almost completely in black, a colour he's practically never before seen Merlin wear. Another, with red puffy eyes, is worriedly sitting by the bedside wringing his hands; a third jumping on the spot back while commenting the lovely day and how happy everyone should be. Oh, it's that happy Merlin that woke him up. The fourth is lounging around looking and acting generally clueless (constantly repeating questions like "What am I doing here?" and "You guys look familiar. Have I met you before?"). The last is acting arrogant, certain and all-knowing and is currently trying to argument with (and winning against) the Happy one: he must be representing Merlin's stubbornness.
"Gaius?" Arthur demands, unable to tear his eyes away from the unlikely scene. "What is … this?"
"I am not certain myself but there's definitely magic involved. I can't seem to locate Merlin – well, the originalMerlin – only copies with extreme personalities: anger, happiness, anxiousness and so on." The physician looks tired. "I fear that more of them can appear in the castle during random times and if that happens, or already has happened…"
"Oh no."
"My thoughts exactly."
Momentarily Arthur drags his gaze away from the manservants. (It makes him kind of uneasy, not keeping a constant eye on them; what if one of the idiots trips and breaks something? Not that he's worried, or anything. He just doesn't want a group of injured Merlin in addition to already having a group of Merlins.)
"So how many have you found?"
"Five this far. The last one I had to leave behind in my chambers, locking the door. I feared how he'd … react in the presence of other people, because, well." Gaius coughs behind a hand and Arthur raises an eyebrow. "His behaviour is rather forward and not always, err, welcome."
"What do you mean?" Arthur wonders curiously.
"He'd seemed to take an, err, fine liking to both the third and the fourth Merlin and they didn't, err, respond very well to his approaches."
"Fine liking - approaches? You mean, he's ... Oh. Oh." Arthur has to swallow harshly and struggled to keep control of a sudden rush of blood to unwelcome places at this moment at the thought of several Merlins involved like that. With each other. Oh. Now his brain would be flooded with distracting images for the rest of the year.
"Anyway," Arthur says a bit too quickly, "is there any way to fix this?"
"I'll do some research," Gaius promises and stands. "Will you keep an eye on them for time being?"
The prince heaves himself out of bed and nods dutifully. "Of course. I think I'll need both of my eyes. Isn't is best if you send up that last one so we have all gathered in one place?" he adds, because even if this fifth Merlin sounds like either he'll just tell people he generally likes them or feel them up, Arthur won't mind that much having him here. Really. And it's not because he's got nothing against having two or more Merlins around, doing … wicked things. Really.
The physician hesitates for a moment before agreeing that yes, it's probably for the best, and then he hurries back to his room. Arthur closes the door behind him tightly. He's glad that no guard or other person has passed by and seen this chaos yet. His father wouldn't react well at having several Merlins running around, no matter how harmless.
"Are you all right?" Merlin, apparently the nervous and worried one, asks the prince shyly and being looked at by the prince sends his heart into his throat and he starts to babble white worrying his bottom lip. "Are you hurt? You're not hurt are you? Y-you almost hit your head but Merlin, that other one, with the red neckerchief, caught you and…You're not hurt are you?"
"No, I'm fine…Merlin. Don't worry." Arthur adds that last bit sensing that if he doesn't Worried Merlin might burst into tears and he definitely doesn't want that. He gestures at the others occupying the room. "Why don't you spend some time with the other … Merlins? Get to know them?"
Worried Merlin looks hesitant. "I-I don't want to, they're … they're scary," he whispers, "at least that one in black and, and that other one who's not here now because Gaius took him away, but before he kept looking at me and, and t-touching my bum."
The prince opens and closes his mouth unable to come up with a good response at that, throat dry. Oh god I wish I'd been able to seethat...
"C-can I stay with you? ... I mean here. I mean not with you, always, or well I'd like to be with … with you, not alone with them," Worried Merlin asks nervously and glances up at the prince through long dark eyelashes, his cheeks a lovely hue of pink, and Arthur has to force himself to blink and look away to be able to think.
"Err ... sure."
Worried Merlin blushes a brilliant shade of red and Angry Merlin, who's overheard the conversation, waves his hand and promptly pushes Worried Merlin off the bed with magic, eyes glowing a dark gold, making him land on the stone floor with a heavy thud and a panicked cry.
Great. So any of these Merlins might use magic at random moments too.
"You're such a weakling," the angry, black-clad Merlin growls, scowling at his counterpart on the ground who stares back up at him while wailing softly, rubbing at his eyes. "Weak and scared and pathetic."
Arthur leaps up to stand between them, hands out, before anyone gets seriously hurt. "Hey! Hey! Cut that out!" If this starts a fight he's not sure exactly how to stop it. Just managing one Merlin at the time can be a handful, and four of them? He's got a feeling that by the end of the day he'll probably collapse with exhaustion.
Maybe he'll find it's all been a weird dream.
"Yes, we should all be friends! The best of friends! I like you all guys, you're awesome - which means I'm awesome! And since you're me it all makes sense!" Happy Merlin happily proclaims and proceeds to hug everyone present. Evidently Angry Merlin doesn't like that, and Stubborn Merlin stubbornly claims he doesn't need any hugs because he's, well, stubborn like that but Worried Merlin buries his face in the cheerful one's neck, seeking comfort and cover.
Admittedly, Arthur is a bit ... distracted by watching the Merlins' embrace. (It's completely legit.)
"Why would we be best friends?" asks Confused Merlin confusedly in the background. "Have I met you guys before somewhere? I think I kind of recognize you lot … kind of … somehow …"
The prince turns to the livid version of the servant, glaring him down with all force he can muster. "You, apologize to him. Now," Arthur orders, pointing a thumb at Worried Merlin.
The servant just snorts, "As if. Fuck you."
"Th-that's mean," murmurs the scared version, and hides in Happy Merlin's arms again with a squeak when Angry Merlin sends him a poisonous look.
"Come on guys!" Happy Merlin says cheerful as ever. "Why fight? It's a wonderful day!"
"You—" growls Angry Merlin and raises a fist.
Arthur really hopes there are no other Merlins out there wreaking havoc. God only knows how on earth he'd be able to gather them all and make them stay put, or explain this to his father. The King would probably not react very well.
()()()
The key turns in the lock with a click and instantly, the physician is hit by a bad feeling. Something is off.
"Merlin?" Gaius calls out as he enters his chambers, but is greeted by eerie silence. The room is empty: everything is left undisturbed, as if no one has ever been there."Merlin?" There's no answer.
No one is there.
Which means only one thing: this version of Merlin must have control of magic and no qualms about using it (as opposed to the worried one who starts trembling like a leaf at the very mention of the M-word) and must have used it to escape without a trace. At this very moment he could be roaming the streets of Camelot without a care in the world.
Oh no.
()()()
"Sire! Sire! Sire!"
The old man crashes into the royal chambers and Arthur looks up from where he's pulling at Angry Merlin's collar to keep him from pummeling Happy Merlin into a bloody pulp, while Worried Merlin startles at the entry and jumps to hide inside wardrobe. Confused Merlin looks generally confused.
"What now?" the prince growls. He's getting tired of babysitting all these versions of his stupid manservant. Once he gets his hands on his complete servant he'll chew those stupid ears off.
"I can't find the other Merlin!"
Arthur's eyes widen. "What? He's run away?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so. We must locate him at once before he gets into trouble!"
Happy Merlin smiles broadly, again, acting like an overexcited puppy. "Can I help? Can I help? It'd be so fun! Oh gosh this is the happiest day of my life! All these new friends!"
"I don't think that's very wise-" Arthur starts but Happy Merlin cuts him off with a hug.
"Yippie! I'm coming with you!" And then he runs off before he can be stopped, intend on finding this new friend, and when the prince rushes after him leaving the door open, the other Merlins follow (except the Angry One, who stalks off in the other direction intent on breaking something.)
()()()
"Young warlock! Listen to me," a strong sudden voice echoes in Merlin's head and he halts in the middle of the hallway, growling."It is urgent."
"Why can't a guy be left the fuck alone in this crazy place?" Merlin exclaims through his and the dragon's mental connection, and letting loose a string of foul words which makes Kilgarrah wonder where on earth the boy's learnt them. "Fuck off, stupid lizard! Leave me alone!"
"Now, that is not the way to speak to your elders," the dragon reprimands the warlock and continues in a grave tone (ignoring all protests and swearing of cutting heads off from the other end of the line): "As I've said, it's urgent. The day is dependent of the turning of the night; a coin is not one-sided; thus, it is crucial that the fragments of yourself are gathered and slotted together before Albion itself will bedoomed."The words are spoken with heavy, dark gravity but there's an equally dark cloud in Merlin's head and chest, blinding him from seeing reason.
"Why don't you dig a fucking hole and hide there and never get back up again, stupid lizard!"
"Merlin!"shouts the dragon, feeling insulted now."MERLIN! Don't ignore me-"
Using willpower alone, Merlin manages to close his mind, shielding it from that bothersome dragon. Momentarily Merlin feels tempted to go down to that bloody cave and stand before the stupid lizard face to face, and tell it offonce and for all.Yeah, he'll do that and then he's going return to his room to gather all of his possessions and leave this idiotic place, once and for all.
()()()
Sir Kay of Camelot is walking across the courtyard when he runs into the prince's manservant. Quite literarily. Normally, one would assume the boy would murmur an apology or smile and then move on. But this smile Merlin sends the knights is quite predatory, startling the man.
"Helloo, handsome," Merlin purrs in a manner sir Kay has never known him to have done before, and presses up against him, trailing a finger down sir Kay's arm. "You know, I know a good private place we could go to and have some fun."
"I, uh, we – are you certain?" sir Kay asks hesitantly. If the prince finds out about this he might have his head and sir Kay likes his where it is. But Merlin is very eager, very intent and, oh god, he realizes the boy wears nothing underneath that flimsy jacket, giving the knights' hands have direct access to pale soft skin and …
"Come with me," Merlin breathes into his ear and, dazed, sir Kay lets the boy lead him away from the yard into a castle corridor. The servant presses him into an alcove while fiddling with the man's breeches, rubbing against him in earnest.
"STOP!"
The prince's voice is sharp and loud and sir Kay comes back to himself that moment as if someone's dumped a bucket of icy cold water on his head. And when he feels his hands resting on the prince's servant's backside while the prince himself is pointing a sword at them, a furious expression on his face, sir Kay just wants to sink into the ground and die a miserable death from the embarrassment.
Arthur grabs Merlin's arm forcefully and drags him off of sir Kay. "Stupid idiot! Why the hell did you run off?" he growls at the servant who looks unaffected at the anger. Rather it just seems to … excite him more.
Merlin licks his lips. "You're just my taste. Gorgeous," he says, eyeing the prince up and down.
By now sir Kay is starting to get confused but he's ignored as footsteps echo down the hall and from the left, an odd group of people emerges. Namely, three other Merlins. Sir Kay wonders if he's eaten something bad this morning. (Can't some kinds of mushrooms make you hallucinate? Oh, he knew he shouldn't have had that mushroom pie before leaving for work this morning!)
"Oh look! I found them, I found them! Yay!" one of them cries happily, clapping his hands like a child who's just received a gift. "Do I get a cookie as a reward now? I want a cookie. I like cookies!"
"Y-you sure we should step closer?" asks another timidly, eyes flickering like searching for an escape. "That's him! The one who t-touched me."
"You know him?" asks the third curiously.
"Why'd you all follow me?" demands Arthur to know, swirling around to face them while still holding the horny Merlin's arm in a steady grip (Merlin doesn't seem to mind). "Go back to my chambers at once!" And then he's hit by a thought: "Where's the angry one?"
"I dunno," says Confused Merlin with a shrug. "I just followed these guys, they seemed to have a clue while I didn't."
"Obviously." Arthur rolls his eyes.
Sir Kay coughs. "Err, sire, excuse me. But ... what's going on?"
The prince sighs like he's a very tired parent with too energetic children to look after. "Just get out of here. And don't speak of a word of what you've just seen, understand! It's an order."
Sir Kay cannot argue with that logic and just wants to escape, nodding sharply and turning to leave. "Yes sire!" Maybe he'd better go to the tavern for a couple of strong beers. The Rising Sun is a nice place, people usually doesn't ask questions.
()()()
"One, two, three, four … where's the fifth one?" Gaius asks as a disheveled prince reenters the room, dragging a heap of servants with him. (A bunch of collars could be a worthwhile purchase.)
The prince groans, pained. He never agreed to be a babysitter, damn it! Why is his servant so stupid that he got into this mess in the first place? "I've no idea. He ran off earlier. Maybe I should order a search party to find him…"
()()()
"Young warlock, stop ignoring me. I'm warning you ... The consequences will be severe!"
()()()
It's a wise decision - sending out search parties, that is - even if eyebrows are raised when they're given the description of searching for a black-clad angry servant rather than a cheerful and kind neckerchief-wearing one. The rumour mill starts churning, of course, about the servant's abrupt change of behaviour - he's always been known to be kind, not angry and with a tendency to start fights with whoever is in his way - some say it's a spell or curse, something magical, or an illness; others that there's been a fight, perhaps between the Prince and his Servant which was bad enough to cause the sudden change.
But Arthur just hasn't the energy to bother anymore and as soon as orders have been made clear, that once found Merlin is to be taken directly to his chambers, he wanders back to his room and collapses in his large fur-covered chair in front of the fireplace.
Horny Merlin is trying to get into both Stubborn Merlin, Happy Merlin and Confused Merlin's pants, simultaneously, of which the two latter aren't protesting (because the previous thinks it's great they're going to be the best of friendsand the latter is just, well, confused of what's going on and just tries to go with the flow so to speak). Stubborn Merlin is just playing hard to get, but Horny Merlin doesn't seem to mind and won't be stopped.
Arthur closes his eyes and just tries to block everything out for a couple of minutes. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in...
A voice, shy and quiet, reaches his ears: "…Arthur?"
The prince struggles to fight the urge to bury his face in his hands. "Yes?"
"Can I…I sit here? Next to you?" Worried Merlin points at the cold stone next to the chair.
"Why not. Take that chair and place it next to mine," Arthur suggests and poor Worried Merlin looks so startled at the suggestion and almost runs off in fright that Arthur has to place a calming hand on his elbow and steer him to his seat. (Maybe he's got respect for royalty, thus doesn't think it's proper to sit on a chair next to royalty. Or he's just so terribly shy).
"I'll gladly sit next to you," Horny Merlin says and saunters over to the prince, seating himself in his lap before Arthur can protest (not that he really wants to). "Or right here. Mmm. Much more comfortable." He lets a hand travel down Arthur's chest and Arthur swallows harshly; his blood suddenly going to places it shouldn't while nimble fingers starts to undo the fastenings of his trousers.
"Merlin," he mutters warningly, but it's a bit too breathy and fast and needy and laden with undertones.
"You want it," Horny Merlin breathes in his ear, eyes dark and wide and needy and Arthur loses control of his voice when soft wet lips comes in contact with his jaw, travelling up to his earlobe at a tantalizing pace.
"Sh-should you really do that?" Worried Merlin squeaks, wide-eyed. He's not entirely sure about this (he's not entirely sure about anything).
"Oh yes," purrs the other Merlin making a satisfied noise when the last fastening is free. "And it only gets better."
Arthur is a bit dazed, eyelids fluttering, and then a new pair of hands joins the first, from behind, on his shoulders. "I want to join! Can I? Oh I want to!"
"I'm joining," says Stubborn Merlin. "I'm standing closest to him; it's my right, back off."
One Merlin reaches out to help the other out of his clothes (it's starting to get difficult telling them apart). Then Arthur lets Merlin grab him and drag him over to the king-sized bed, shirt and trousers dropping on the floor and he's suddenly surrounded by two more naked bodies, soft skin and skilful hands and the only thing he manages to think is '...Oh.'
"Join us," Horny Merlin suggests eagerly to the remaining two.
"I-I'm not sure," says Worried Merlin hesitantly, but unable to look away from the scene; it's doing things to his body, sends his heart aflutter and his face warm, not to mention … other parts. But, he's a bit scared. He's not sure. The other Merlin reaches out, a familiar hand enclosing around his wrist and pulls him down on the soft thick mattress.
"There. Now, we've got to get rid of those bothersome clothes…" Merlin lifts his gaze to look at Confused Merlin still standing. "And you too, handsome."
Somehow they all end up in the bed in various degrees of undress; Arthur definitely can't tell them apart now, and is ready to burst when seeing not two, but five Merlins joined beside and above him, consisting of caresses and tantalizing touches, long limbs and pale skin and slow wet kisses, each one doing some truly naughty things, he can't even ...
()()()
"There he is!" Greg the Guard shouts to his companions who quickly join him in the chase. "We've got him now!"
The black-clad servant looks over his shoulders and curses, loudly, before picking up a run and elbowing through the crowd on the marketplace. A not very pleased woman selling apples yells after him when he deliberately crashes into her stand, sending fruits and baskets flying, and Angry Merlin allows himself a sinister smirk: that ought to slow those stupid guards down!
He is so swallowed up by his arrogant confidence and anger at the guards, that he doesn't notice the net trapping, which any other (well, not any, but several) Merlins would've noticed at once, hanging above his head - not until it's too late as the guards holding it lets go and he's covered with it, falling to the ground in a tangled heap.
"Fuuuck!" he shouts, swearing and clawing at it. He tries reaching for his magic, but it slips out of his grasp like it's been covered with oil and like at a distance he can hear the annoying laughter of a giant lizard. Damn that stupid dragon!
()()()
"What is the meaning of this?" demands the King as he's presented by a foul-mouthed servant carefully wrapped in fishing net, constantly kicking and screaming and clawing at it in vain. Three guards are holding him down and several others are hovering nearby.
Uther was on his daily walk down the west wing main corridor and back, when he encountered the group of guards, surprised since he's certainly not ordered a whole pack of them to roam the halls like this. The King is clearly upset that his daily walk has been interrupted this way.
"Prince's orders, Your Highness," says one of the guards.
The King narrows his eyes, regarding the package closely. "Isn't that Arthur's manservant?" he asks. "Melvin or whatever is his name."
Another of the guards nods in accord. "Yes, sire. Apparently some kind of potion accident made him like this, all aggressive; he ran off and he had to use the net to keep him still. We're escorting him to the prince's chambers now, sire."
What's this? 'Potion accident'? Sounds likemagicto me, Uther thinks darkly, foul magic indeed. Of course it's happened to that idiot servant! Strange things always seem happen around that boy. Arthur really needs to keep a better eye on him!
"I'll come with you," he says, ignoring the raised eyebrows (honestly, nobody seems to have proper respect toward their betters nowadays. Guards shouldn't just walk around and raise eyebrows at their King! He needs to have a talk with Gaius about influence.)
()()()
Arthur doesn't think this is a dream, even if this reality is incredibly illogical. And he's glad it's not a dream, having four pair of soft arms wrapped around him, at various places. This must be one of his best waking-ups in his life, and he plans on enjoying it fully, just as he's enjoyed the last two (or was it three?) hours fully.
But then, the inevitable happens. Stubborn knocking on the door and muffled voices. Thank god he's locked the door.
With a sigh he pulls himself up into a sitting position.
"No, don't leave already," Horny Merlin groans in disappointment.
From the other side of the door, instead of Gaius' or a guard's voice, Arthur hears to his horror none other than his father's voice: "Arthur! Open up this door at once!"
"Shit!" Arthur exclaims, immediately alert. He glances over at the other occupants of the giant bed. They're all looking at him with different expressions. "You got to hide. Now! Into the wardrobe, under the bed, whatever."
Worried Merlin thankfully gets the clue and wraps himself in the nearest blanket and Arthur manages to push Confused Merlin in the same direction and get them into the wardrobe and close it. Happy Merlin dives under the bed after getting an annoyed push in the backside and that leaves Stubborn Merlin clinging to the sheets and Horny Merlin clinging to Arthur, arms tight around the prince's torso.
"Get off!" the prince hisses. "Father will kill us all if he sees!"
"Will not," Stubborn Merlin says petulantly, "I won't let him."
From outside, his father's voice reaches new heights."Arthur! I'm warning you!" The pounding on the doors gets worse and worse for each passing second.
"Just - shut up all right. And lie still!"
Having no other choice, Arthur wrestles Horny Merlin off of him and covers them both with a heap of blankets and pillows, then jumps of the bed and hastily searches for a pair of pants and kicks the clothes that are spread about the room into a decent pile in a corner. Then, he takes a deep breath, struggling to get his fast breath and flushed face under control, and opens the door.
On the doorstep Uther stands, dressed in his finest coat, and behind him there are a dozen guards and what looks like a giant black fish trapped in a net that upon closer inspection proves to be a wayward servant.
Oh. So they managed to catch him. Good...I think.
"What's going on here, Arthur?" growls the King.
His morning walk must have been interrupted, thinks Arthur. No wonder he's in such a foul mood.
"Nothing, father," he says quickly and glances back at the bed. There doesn't seem to have been any movement - yet. He needs to create a diversion or something, fast, before anything goes wrong. He needs to get Angry Merlin into his room and his father away from here, now.
"Then I suppose it's normal for you to have your servants go so berserk that you have to use half the army to look for them and gather them, I suppose." His father gives him a sharp dangerous look and Arthur winces.
"Err ... not ... quite, father. It was a ... an accident. Involving one of Gaius' potions," the prince quickly comes up with a lie. "It wasn't supposed to be ingested but Merlin, the idiot he is, drank some it anyway and he experienced a sudden change in personality. Gaius assures me it's harmless and will wear off in a few hours. I thought it best to keep an eye on him, but unfortunately he ... ran off earlier and-"
The King holds up a hand. "Enough of that babble." There's a slight pause and Arthur can breathe again; he's given a look which tells him he's for the clear, for now. "But if anything like this happens again..." The warning is left hanging in the air and Arthur nods dutifully. "Now, I'll speak with Gaius of this ... potion. And make sure to punish that idiot servant of yours for this unacceptable behaviour!"
"Yes, father, I shall." He gives a subtle bow of his head, just to soothe his father's ire, and with a tired sigh Uther turns on his heel and takes his leave.
A still very angry, loudly cursing Merlin is dragged into the center of the room and Arthur orders the guards to go. They all seem relieved. Once they're all gone and the door closed and locked, the prince swirls around to stand face to face with Angry Merlin, who stares back darkly.
"You idiot! Stupid idiot! Never run off like that again!"
"Whatever."
For a moment they just stand there staring at each other.
Eventually Arthur moves forward, tugging at the net. "This is the silliest thing I've ever seen you in. Honestly, Merlin, the messes you get into."
"Screw you."
"Fine, if you don't want to get out of that stuff..."
Angry Merlin huffs and turns around, evidently to stalk across the room but stumbles in true Merlin-fashion and Arthur reacts just in time to catch him. Somehow Merlin stays still long enough for Arthur to actually get him free and the net is tossed in a corner, and another staring contest begins.
A curious head peeks out from beneath the fluffy mountain of pillows on the bed. "Coast clear yet?" asks its owner, followed by a whistle of appreciation. "Oooh, a handsome in black ... I like it. Like it very much. Black is sexy."
"No it isn't," argues Stubborn Merlin, who argues against anything and everything no matter what, simply because it's in his nature to do so.
"Of course black is sexy. It's always sexy."
"No, it isn't."
Arthur wonders how long Gaius will have to do his research to come up with something to solve this mess. He doesn't want to imagine an argument between Stubborn and Angry Merlin.
()()()
This has been one of the longest days of Arthur's life. Sure, it's been memorable - in places very memorable - but if Gaius doesn't find a cure or solution soon he thinks he might go mad.
Thankfully, Gaius does present a solution before sunset. By the time the physician arrives at the prince's chambers, everything is at order: the bed is made, everyone is properly dressed (well, except for Horny Merlin, who wasn't to begin with and it's no idea to even try since he'll discard his clothes soon enough anyway) and Arthur and Worried Merlin are playing a round of chess (but Worried Merlin keeps biting his nails nervously more than he thinks of his next moves, which means he constantly loses).
A large dusty book is put at the dining table and everyone leans in to study it more closely.
"It's rather simple," Gaius explains. "This spell," he points a finger to a string of words in a script Arthur can't read, "must be spoken by all the 'parts' of Merlin at the same time. Their magic will react together and create an effect strong enough to put them together again, so to speak."
"Okay, let's do it!" Happy Merlin says and jumps up, starting to read the spell.
"Hey, wait!" Arthur cries. "Together!"
"Oh, right. Hang on." Happy Merlin looks around the table at his counterparts, nodding at each one of them. "Have you read it now?" Some nods are given, some shrugs and some 'yes'. "So, ready?"
"Yeah," the Merlins say in choir, and the black-clad one shrugs like he doesn't care.
Arthur crosses his fingers underneath the table. If this spell doesn't work, or if they're not timed, or if it just splits them into morecopies ...
"All right! On three. One...two...three!"
The room is filled with a choir of voices talking in the language of the Old Religion. The next moment, light envelopes all Merlins individually, so bright that Arthur has to shield his eyes and look away. As the light fades, the copies are gone, and only one Merlin is left, lying on his back on the stone floor staring up at the ceiling, dazed. His clothes are a mis-match of blue and red and black and his tunic is missing altogether underneath his jacket.
"Euhm," he says, not in a special kind of tone which Arthur can specificity to one kind of Merlin, but it's a perfect blend of everything and there's so much relief in Arthur's heart at seeing just that one Merlin, his one Merlin, he can't put words to it.
"Hello," Merlin says, sitting up and rubbing at his neck awkwardly. "Sorry about … that. But I can't believe the spell worked that easily!"
Gaius just gives his ward the Unimpressed Eyebrow Look(TM).
"I won't even ask what spell split you in the first place, I wouldn't understand the gibberish anyway," Arthur says, unable to keep away the wide grin of glee. Then he gains a much more serious expression: "But if you ever do that again I'll personally hunt down and behead every one of you! You've no idea how tiresome it was looking after all you!"
Merlin looks at him bemusedly, a secret little smile on his lips, and Arthur wonders what kind of memories Merlin has of this ... event. "Sure, Arthur," he says, sending him a sly glance.
The prince suddenly wonders if there is a chance of redoing a less dangerous, less troublesome version of that splitting/copying spell, like, tonight, if he can get Merlin into his bed. Without any clothes on. No, then he wouldn't an extra Merlin or two, as long as they're not too difficult to handle and doesn't run off – yes, this is starting to sound very nice ... very nice.
But he'll have to create a distraction for Gaius first. The old man will have a fit if he finds out what Arthur's been doing with his ward ... wards ... not so long ago. And definitely not be happy if finding out what kind of plans are going through Arthur's head right now.