Hey guys! I just wanna say that I'm almost in tears right now because my sister moved to France 2months ago and I just wrote her letter telling her that I miss her and I cant wait to meet her new girlfriend Tiff, so I'm really sorry if there are any mistakes but I will try to fix them.
Sshaw101, yes I am upset that you wont see 'Dark shadows' coz its not really that scary but it is dark and extremely funny. I also wanna know when you are updating your victorious/ 13 crossover? i really wanna know what happened! (sorry, im desperate lol).
I'm kinda upset that no one guessed who Beadle Bamford and Toby will be played by but oh well, they were really difficult.
Disclaimer: I seriously cant be arsed writing one so I'm just gunna say I don't own victorious or Ariana Grande... fuck! I thought I stopped with that, grrrr. Lol like fuck would that happen XD she is just so sexy!
The busy market filled with more people as Sweeney and his female accomplice walk through the street. "He's here every Thursday, Italian. All the range, he is. Best barber in London they say." the small woman explained whilst fighting through the crowd. Mr. Todd saw a man from his past (the man who a beaten Robbie) and immediately started walking towards him while reaching into the pocket on his belt containing some of his silver razors. "Hang on." he was stopped by the woman and pulled back to her side. He pulls his leather jacket over his belt and puts one hand over the other and looks at the man like a little boy trying to act innocent after drawing on the walls (AN that's what I think he looks like in this part lol). They watch a young boy, around 13 years old, with dark skin walk on stage with a big drum and a bolo hat on his head. The child started to sing with an extremely powerful voice for someone of his age.
"Ladies and gentlemen,
may I have your attention, please?
Do you wake every morning,
in shame and despair,
to discover your pillow is covered with hair?
What ought not to be there?
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
from now on you can waken at ease.
You need never again,
have a worry or care.
I will show you a miracle, marvellous, rare
Gentlemen,
you are about to see something that rose from the dead,
on the top of my head."
The boy takes of his hat and long black hair spills out from underneath as the crowd bursts out laughing.
"'Twas Pirelli's Miracle Elixir.
That's what did the trick, sir,
true, sir, true.
Was it quick, sir?
Did it in a tick, sir,
just like an elixir ought to do."
The boy started throwing bottles of elixir into the crowd and walked towards a bald man before rubbing some in the man's head.
"How about a bottle, mister?
Only cost a penny, guaranteed.
Does Pirelli's stimulate the growth, sir?
You can have my oath, sir,
t'is unique.
Rub a minute.
Stimulatin', innit?
Soon you'll have to thin it once a week."
a bottle is being passed around through the crowd and reaches Sweeney who is disgusted by the smell of the elixir and interrupts the boys song with his own (Sweeney will be underlined, the woman will be italics and the boy will be normal).
"Pardon me, ma'am,
what's that awful stench?"
"Are we standing near an open trench?
Pardon me, sir, what's that awful stench?"
The boy looks worried but keeps trying to promote the elixir.
"Buy Pirelli's miracle elixir.
Anything what's slick, sir,
soon sprouts curls.
Try Pirelli's,
when they see how thick, sir,
you can have your pick, sir,
of the girls.
Wanna buy a bottle, missus?"
"What is this?"
"What is this?"
"Smells like piss."
"Smells like, err."
"Looks like piss."
"Wouldn't touch it,
if I were you, dear."
"This is piss,
piss with ink."
"Let Pirelli's activate your roots, sir."
"Keep it off your boots, sir,
eats right through."
"Yes, get Pirelli's,
use a bottle of it,
ladies seam to love it."
"Flies do too."
From this the crowd starts to laugh and a middle aged man wearing skin tight suit and a top hat jumps through the curtain at the back of the stage and starts to sing in a thick Italian accent.
"I am Adolfo Pirelli,
the king of the barbers,
the barber of kings.
E buon giorno, good day.
I blow you a kiss.
And I,
the so-famous Pirelli,
I wish to know,
who has the nerve to say,
my elixir is piss.
Who says this?"
the crowd is silent for a short moment until Sweeney speaks up, "I do. I'm Mr. Sweeney Todd of Fleet Street. I've opened a bottle of Pirelli's Elixir, and I say to you that it is nothing but an errant fraud... concocted from piss and ink." He moves towards the stage and talks to Pirelli more directly but also to the crowd. "furthermore, signor... I have serviced no kings... yet I wager that I can shave a cheek with 10 times more dexterity... than any street mountebank." Mr. Todd turns to the crowd and pulls two razors out of his belt pocket, "Do you see these razors?" He once again turns to the Italian, "I lay them against 5 pounds... you are no match, sir." Pirelli looks closer at the razors and smiles "Either accept my challenge or reveal yourself as a sham."
the tall Italian man looks out to the crowd and speaks in his thick accent once more, "You hear this foolish man? Now, please you will see how he will regret his folly." He pulls his cape from his shoulders before throwing it behind him, "André." The boy runs back onto the stage when he hears his name commanded by Pirelli. He picks up the cape and moves a chair into the centre of the stage before finding another chair to put next to it.
With a cheery voice Sweeney asks "Who's for a free shave?" two men are taken to the stage and sat down with sheets over them. "Will Beadle Sikowitz be the judge?" The balding man from earlier walked towards the stage, "Glad as always to oblige my friends and neighbours."
The Beadle is now stood next to the barbers on stage and takes a whistle out of his pocket. "Ready?"
The Italian was quick to reply "Ready."
A moment later Sweeney whispered his reply, "Ready."
"The fastest, smoothest shave is the winner!" and with that Beadle Sikowitz blew his whistle, signalling for the men to start.
The men brought out a razor and began to sharpen it on a piece of leather attached to each chair, Sweeney carefully and slowly grazed the knife against the leather while Pirelli quickly scratched his razor against it, André held the bottom of the leather and winced in pain as the knife sliced his skin over and over again. Pirelli was the first to start mixing the lather and applying it to the man's face and started a cheerful song.
"Now, signorine, signori,
we mix the lather.
But first you must gather around.
Signorine, signori.
You looking a man,
who have had the glory,
to shave the pope.
Mr. Sweeney, whoever,
I beg your pardon,
will probably say it was only a cardinal,
nope!
It was the pope!"
At this moment André picks up a scroll and opens it to show the crowd, on the paper is a portrait of the pope with a caption saying 'Thanks for the shave, The Pope'. This makes the audience laugh. Pirelli picks up his razor and begins shaving the man's face while making the child wipe the lather from the razor onto a cloth.
"To shave the face,
to cut the hair,
require the grace,
require the flair,
for if you slip,
you nick the skin,
you clip the chin,
you rip the lip,
a bit beyond repair.
To shave the face,
or even a part,
without it smart,
require the heart,
not just the flash,
it take panache,
it take the passion for the art.
To shave the face,
to trim the beard."
Sweeney had now begun to put the lather on the man in his chair's face.
"To make the bristle,
clean like a whistle.
This is from early infancy,
the talent given to me,
by god.
It take the skill,
it take the brains,
it take will,
it take the pains,
it take the pace,
it take the grace."
Pirelli sang the last word as an extremely long note during which time Sweeney quickly shaved the face of the man in his chair. Sikowitz was fast to announce the man who won, "The winner is Todd!"
Pirelli looked shocked but quickly hid it and walked towards Sweeney slowly "Sir, I bow to a skill far greater than my own."
Mr. Todd did not look at the man but in stead held up his hand, "The 5 pound."
Signor Pirelli hesitantly reached into his pocket and pulled a 5pound note out of his purse and placed it into Sweeney's hand. "May the good Lord smile on you...until we meet again." he turned around and placed his attention on the child, "Come, boy. Come!" he commanded before slapping and kicking André behind the curtain and yelling words in Italian.
Sweeney walks down the stairs of the stage to the red haired woman, "I suppose it's just me gentle heart, but I do hate to see a boy treated like that."
Mr. Todd turns around to be greeted by a man with large sideburns (AN sorry, I had to put that in lol) "Congratulations, Mr. Todd. May I ask you, sir, do you have your own establishment?"
The small woman answers before Sweeney can, "He certainly does. Sweeney Todd's Tonsorial Parlor, above my Meat Pie Emporium in Fleet Street."
Before anything else can be said, Sweeney walks away from the man with sideburns towards the Beadle. "I thank you, sir. You are a paragon of integrity." He tells the Beadle acting humble.
"Well, I try to do my best for my friends and neighbours. You establishment is in Fleet Street, you say?"
"Yes, sir."
"Then, Mr. Todd, you shall surely see me there before the week is out."
"You will be welcome, Beadle Sikowitz. And I can guarantee to give you, without a penny's charge... the closest shave you will ever know."
And with that, the Beadle walked away and the woman dragged Sweeney back through the market.
"Come on, love."
Wooooooooo bet you weren't expecting that for the characters where you! Next is try and figure out who is 'Signor Pirelli' because if you have seen the film you will know that it is not his real name...
Okay I gotta start studying coz I have a biology exam for my GCSE's on Monday n I haven't started revising, to top it off, my teacher rang home to say that I did shit on my last mock exam so I need to study more.
I also don't know when I will be able to update next coz I have 12 exam within the next month which I haven't even started revising for but I will try. And for those who read 'secrets' and want me to continue, I will when I have finished this story then I will most likely focus on victorious characters in films like 'Little shop of horrors' and 'Greece'. I thought of Greece this morning on the bus to school when I was listening to 'Blood brothers' on my ipod (I don't know how that worked out). We have been doing that play in English so I might do that as well lol my head is full of ideas, I just cant get them down fast enough :( .
~~ Ariana Fan XD
xoxo