Disclaimer: Don't own, don't profit, only having a spot of fun.
A/N: I suck at doing requests and the Wind Waker is calling my name. Later peeps.
It was a surprisingly quiet day. Tseng relaxed when he heard the news that Sephiroth was back from Wutai. Cass wouldn't be out and about as much and it would be a nice and quiet few weeks.
That thought flew out of his head as a rather large explosion shook the entire building. It was powerful enough to shake him out of his chair. He looked towards Cass's desk out of habit. She was crawling on her stomach towards Veld's office. He stumbled out as Tseng's vertigo passed.
"Just for the record," she said, "This was not my fault."
A group of trainees stood sheepishly at attention. Veld eyed them sternly, a small round bauble in his hand. Off to the side all of the top Turks (Rude, Reno, Cass Tseng, in that order) observed. Tseng stood resolutely ahead while Cass was, quite impressively, stifling giggles.
"You're telling me," Veld said, "that you thought you could use Bolt 3 Materia?" The trainees cringed.
"Yes sir," they chorused diligently. Tseng heard a snort covered quickly by a cough. Veld did nothing, but Tseng could feel the residual disapproval radiating off of the man.
"You nearly took down the building," he said. Cass turned and bit her fist to hide her laughing. For their part the trainees didn't look her direction.
"You caused over 3,000 gil in damages," Veld continued. Cass failed at hiding it and just laughed out loud. Veld finally whirled around to give her the glare she deserved. Not that it did anything.
"Would you care to share what you find so funny, Cassiopia?" Veld said sharply. A rather low blow for Veld. Now the trainees would use that as her name instead of Cass. She sobered herself up into a mere grin.
"Blowing up the building just sounds like something I would do on purpose," she said, "and these poor schmucks managed to do it on accident." Reno's composure broke down and he started snickering.
"I know right?" Reno agreed. Veld shared a glare at both of them now.
"Since you two seem experienced with this sort of behavior, perhaps you would be kind enough to make sure they know the proper protocol when it comes to high explosives and materia," Veld said.
"Well since you asked so nicely," Cass said. Veld groaned inwardly as Reno and Cass shared a fist bump with an explosion at the end.
"I have a feeling you aren't the best influence for us," said a blonde haired one.
"Probably not," Cass agreed cheerily.
"I dunno yo," Reno said, "You're kid's pretty well behaved."
"Sephiroth was born well behaved," Cass said, "I think I've disciplined him three times in all the time I've known him."
"Wait, wait, wait," a black haired one interrupted, "You mean the Sephiroth?"
"Uhh," Cass said, "Yeah."
"Stick to the schedule, yo," Reno chastised. The trainees flinched again.
"We didn't give them a schedule Reno," Cass said.
"Oh yeah," Reno said.
"Permission to ask a question?" A redheaded girl said.
"This ain't the army," Reno said, "just ask."
"Oh, sorry," she said.
"Don't apologize," Reno said sternly. The effect was ruined when Cass reached over and snapped his goggles against his head. He gave a shriek and rubbed the new sore spot. Cass frowned at the trainees shocked faces.
"It's funnier when Rude's here," she mourned, "He giggles."
"That's what that noise is?" Reno said, soreness forgotten, "That has to be the weirdest laugh I've ever heard."
"There was a question," Cass said.
"Uhh," the redhead flailed, "What exactly are you going to be teaching us?"
"Very bad things," Cass said, "You'll be traumatized for life when we're finished with you, that's for sure." Cass and Reno looked a little too gleeful at that idea.
"That doesn't sound like punishment for you two," the blonde commented.
"It's not," Reno said.
"That part is putting you all back together," Cass said, "that will be tedious and boring and I'm already planning on shuffling that to Tseng."
"'Cept he won't do it," Reno added.
"Probably not, but there's a chance if I whine enough," Cass said. Reno brightened slightly.
"Now," Cass said, "Should we start with C-4, which is very stable, or nitroglycerin, which, heh, isn't?" Reno turned to the trainees, all praying for the former.
"Nitro," Reno said, "C-4 can be the start of puttin' 'em back together."
"I like that plan," Cass said.
"Wonderful," Cass said, "There's three singed, one burnt, and three in shock."
"Not a bad day," Reno said.
"Should I show 'em my favorite toy?" Cass asked. Those who were not traumatized enough flinched at the thought of something new.
"Probably," Reno said. To their horror, Cass pulled out a materia. They couldn't possibly have permission to use a Bolt on them. Could they?
Instead of a flash of lightning, Cass stepped up to the nearest person and small lights, nearly sparkles came out.
"This is a fully mastered Cure Materia," Cass said, "Drool over it now. You'll probably never handle one of your own. The only other person I know of that has one, for the moment, is Director Veld." They stepped up to be cured, disbelieving of this miracle.
"This whole day was to make you terrified of explosives," Cass continued.
"It worked," someone muttered.
"Good to know," Cass said, "In the future, I will most likely not be next to you with my little Cure. Show the proper precaution. You're dismissed from my sight, but I expect to see you back here at exactly...Reno what time?"
"Uhh," he thought a moment, "like noonish."
"1300 hours," Cass said, "Reno and I will continue this lesson by making you tremble at the thought of materia."
"She's crazy. She has to be."
"I think it's an act. No one can live like that."
"Sure they could, if they were crazy."
"She's not crazy," Tseng said as he past through the group of whispering trainees. The silenced themselves immediately. Tseng said nothing else and continued to his desk. He was not overly fond of the Lifetime Turks, the ones raised to the lifestyle from near birth. It might have been the bias they seemed to have against his partner. She was weird, not crazy. There was a distinct difference.
"Is she really Sephiroth's mother?" said a redhead. She favored a shuriken if Tseng recalled correctly.
"Not biologically," he said crisply.
"I know," she said, "she really took care of him for all those years?" Tseng sighed.
"Sephiroth was five when he and Cass first met," Tseng said, "and that is all I will say about their relationship."
"Aww come on boss," said a familiar obnoxious voice, "Go ahead and tell some stories." Tseng spared a weary glance at Reno.
"Fine, then I will," Reno said, "first day on the job, I bet her fifty gil that she couldn't shoot a face onto those silhouettes we practice on."
"He lost," Rude said.
"What?"
"Smiley with a moustache," Reno said fondly, "I still got it."
"No way," the blonde said incredulously. Reno merely smirked then turned back to Tseng.
"Come on," Reno said, "just one or two. How 'bout the time she met Rufus. I like that one." Tseng gave a blank stare to Reno and said nothing.
"Where did she get that Cure?" the redhead asked. Reno shrugged.
"Sephiroth gave it to her, I believe," Rude said. They all looked to Tseng for confirmation. He nodded wearily.
"He gave it to her," he confirmed.
"That's rather sweet," the redhead said. Her comrades looked at her. She looked back at them in return.
"What the story with Rufus?" another asked. Tseng didn't even glance up this time.
"Well, he threw a fit getting on the transport," Reno said, "just wouldn't get on. Cass just gave him a good ole fashoined glare and said-"
"Get on the helicopter you little shit," a voice to the side said. Cass was standing off to the side. She walked over and handed Tseng a completed form.
"I personally like the time when I accidentally on purpose blew up the executive elevator," Cass said, "tell that one next."
"I forgot about that," Reno said, "It started when Heidegger insulted Veld's leading style and he always uses the same elevator..."