Chapter 8
Megamind stirred when he felt Roxanne leave his arms sometime the next morning. He grabbed her and pulled her back towards him.
"I've got an appointment with the wedding planner." Roxanne protested.
"What about?" Megamind asked. She paused.
"Napkins and silverwear." She confessed.
"Ask Shiyounin to do it. You owe me a sleep-in." he said.
"But…okay." She relented. Megamind activated his communicator watch.
"Minion can you put Shiyounin on?" he asked.
"All right. Hang on. Yes Rei Daddy's coming!" came the strained reply. There was a pause.
"Good morning Mega Mind." She said cheerfully. Megamind glanced down at Roxanne and switched to Japanese.
{{Roxanne has a meeting about napkins. Could you please take care of it?}} he asked.
{{Napkins? Are you serious? I've got two teething children and Minion whinging about not getting enough 'special' attention and you want me to go to a meeting about napkins?}} she snapped. She's a lot more polite in English, Megamind thought to himself.
{{Just call this wedding planner woman and tell her we want white napkins and silver silverwear. Please?}}
{{Okay okay. You owe me one night of babysitting.}} She warned and broke the connection.
"What did she say?" Roxanne asked.
"She'll go to the meeting and pick something you'll like."
Roxanne smiled and curled into him.
"I'm lucky to have you all. You're so good to me." She entwined her fingers with his and he flinched.
"Wedding business last night, huh?" she said, eyeing the purple bruises and dark grazes on his knuckles that the leather gloves didn't protect him from. He pulled his hand away. Damn her nosey reporter skills!
"Yeah…about that…" caught out in his lie he wasn't sure what to say.
"He's in jail then?" she asked, trying not to sound like she cared either way. Megamind smiled, relieved that she at least hadn't asked if Hal was dead.
"He won't get out again." Megamind said. Roxanne exhaled, not realising how much she needed to hear that.
"Thankyou." She said, taking his hand and pressing her lips to it.
"It was a selfish act I assure you. No one's taking you away from me." He said. She tilted her face up and kissed his lips. He gave a happy sigh and returned the kiss, once again unable to believe how lucky he was. Tomorrow he would be marrying her, Roxanne Ritchie, and he got to spend the rest of his life with the woman of his dreams. Megamind reached around and placed his hand on her rear end through her pyjamas and lowered his mouth to her neck, making her giggle.
"Megamind…hey watch those hands, Villain! This sort of activity is not appropriate the day before our wedding." she chided when his hands found her breasts through her tank top.
"Oh isn't it?" he inquired around a mouthful of her neck.
"No." She said. Self-control, self-control she told herself. He knew exactly how to make her squirm. Megamind popped his head back up and she gazed into his gleaming, mischievous green eyes.
"In which case this is just going to be really inappropriate." He said and disappeared under the covers. Roxanne squealed with laughter when she felt him grab her pyjama pants and tug them off.
"Megamind seriously! I mean…" she paused when she felt him press his face between her thighs. She considered making him behave himself for a split second until his tongue found its way to its intended target and she gasped. Screw 'inappropriate', she thought to herself. "Oh hell yeah!" she sighed and moaned when she felt the vibration of his laughter through her skin.
It was almost midday when the couple finally emerged and made their way downstairs. Megamind, dressed in jeans, black Chucks and a hooded jacket (the hood was for show; no hood fitted the brainy ex-villain), left on an unknown errand with a promise that it was nothing dangerous and he would be home in time for pre-party drinks at home.
Roxanne made her way to the refrigerator and peered inside. What she wanted were pancakes. What her diet would allow her to have was an egg white omelette or a tub of yoghurt. She sadly grabbed a yoghurt.
"Miss Ritchie! Ready for the big day tomorrow?" Minion asked cheerfully with Rei in one arm coming into the kitchen. Roxanne smiled.
"I think so Minion. How are you doing?" she asked.
"Oh you know how it is." He glanced down at Rei. She was glaring up at her father from her glass sphere. "She wants Mommy but Mommy's taken Junior for walking lessons. He's almost there." Minion said proudly. Roxanne looked at her aquatic friend. His fins were a little droopy and his eyes were red from lack of sleep.
"How about I watch her for a bit?" Roxanne suggested. Minion laughed and then saw the expression on her face.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously. Go have some downtime. I'm sure we can have some fun."
"Well all right." He wasn't going to turn her down. "She needs breakfast and some play time before a nap at about two o'clock. Call me if you need me!" he all but ran out the door. Roxanne chuckled. Poor guy. Roxanne went to the fridge and found a raw chicken leg in a little plastic bag. She held it up and looked at the little fish. "What do you think?" she asked. Rei pulled a face and stuck out her tongue. "Okay…bacon?" she held up a packet. Rei's face brightened and she started bouncing around her sphere. "Bacon it is!" Roxanne opened up the hatch in the top of Rei's sphere and dropped in a few pieces. The little white coi fish bared Minion-style razor-sharp teeth and devoured the meat. Roxanne laughed and watched the little fish, picturing in her head one day her own blue children hungrily munching on bacon. She picked up the sphere. "Come on. You can help me figure out how to dress your Mommy." Roxanne sat down with a pencil and paper trying to design a dress that would hide the majority of her robotic parts while still fitting in with Barbie's silvery outfit. She chatted with the little fish while she sketched, rubbed out, and then sketched again, finally throwing the pencil and pad across the room in frustration.
Out of nowhere Bitey hovered out to grab the flying stationary.
"Boww." The brainbot scolded her and dropped the stationary back on the table in front of her.
"Sorry." She said. Bitey turned around in a huff. "Hey wait!" Roxanne blinked.
"Boww?" Bitey inquired.
"Where did you get that?" she asked. Bitey, in addition to her custom pink fins, was now sprayed a pearlescent pewter with bright pink pin striping across her rear.
"Boww?"
"The spray job. Who did it?" Roxanne asked.
"Owwboww." Bitey tried to answer. "Oww-bod. Iiee-bot."
"iBot?" Roxanne exclaimed. Of course it would be the custom white-sprayed iPod/brainbot hybrid.
"Piiiimmpd owwt." Bitey announced proudly. Roxanne rolled her eyes.
"Uh huh. Can you send him up to see me?" She asked, an idea forming in her head. Bitey bowwed and left. Roxanne looked down at Rei. "I think your Mommy's going to like this."
Megamind sat in the Warden's office. In the Warden's chair. With his feet crossed and up on the Warden's desk. He sat with his trademark smirk in place for when the glowering older man walked in having been notified of Megamind's presence. He stood with his arms crossed.
"Make yourself at home Megamind." He said gruffly. Megamind beamed at him.
"Why thankyou Warden! Have I ever mentioned how wonderful it is to feel so welcome when I visit?"
"Cut the crap Megamind. What do you want? And get the hell out of my chair!" Megamind grinned but did as he was told.
"Can't the city's resident superhero come and visit the finest prison warden Metrosity has ever known socially once in a while. We were so close once."
"That was before your tampering with the city's water supply led to the worst 48 hours of my life." The Warden snapped. Hmm. Ironic. That's the second time someone brought that up in the last twelve hours…clearly that was one of my more successful endeavours, Megamind thought to himself. Megamind stood at the window and gazed down on the prisoners in the exercise yard. There was a fairly lively game of basketball happening with two notable prisoners not joining in. It was as though fate had meant for him to be here, Megamind decided. Alone in a corner sat a brooding Hal Stewart. Sitting on a bench watching the game was old Uncle Abe, in fairly good spirits as he shouted encouragement (and insults) to the various players.
"Mr Stewart appears to be…well present for starters."
"Yes. The city owes you a debt of gratitude." The Warden said in an ironic tone. "The arresting officers informed me at whatever ungodly hour of the morning it was that he'd been captured. He's pretty beat up. Apparently he tripped and fell on his way into the ambulance."
"Yes well these things happen." Megamind said uncomfortably.
"Hopefully they won't make a habit of happening." The Warden suggested. Megamind successfully avoided flinching. Ouch. That was a warning if ever he'd heard one.
"Of course not." He said smoothly. "It is good that he's back behind bars where he can't hurt anyone else."
"Of course it is." The Warden said with narrowed eyes. What was the villain getting at?
"One girl dead. Two hurt. Isn't it fortunate how an escaped convict managed to do this, be apprehended, and it all managed to stay out of the news? It could have been embarrassing if anyone found out about it all. Some might suggest that you're past your prime, Warden." The older man glared.
"You let him out!" he shouted.
"Details details." Megamind shrugged. The warden sighed and rubbed his eyes. He had a headache, two really counting the blue man in front of him.
"What do you want?" he asked dully.
"Uncle Abe to be released today." He said. The Warden glared.
"Can't it wait a week?"
"Look at him! He's too old for this. Sort of like you."
"Can it."
"Sorry. Old habits die hard. I also want him in an employment rehab program." The Warden sighed.
"You know the rules. He's too old to qualify. These things run on a tight budget and there's no funding for someone like him."
"But there's plenty of funding to re-arrest him and keep him here for the next five years when he ends up squatting somewhere and stealing to survive isn't there?" The Warden couldn't argue. The system frustrated him too.
"Look. I'll see what I can do. But as of now you're his caseworker."
"Done."
"And you're coming in after your honeymoon to pull your other 'uncles' into line. You wouldn't believe what I found in my mail box last week."
"If you promise not to tell me what it was we have a deal." Megamind held out his hand. The Warden held his gaze for a long moment and then shook his hand.
"Deal." Megamind looked at the older man, his cocky demeanour faltering for a moment. He cleared his throat.
"You…you're coming tomorrow aren't you?" he asked, and then babbled. "I mean, you know what it's like, the old ball and chain wants to know so the seating is in absolute symmetry and I think she wants to set you up with her Aunty Joyce…" he laughed. The Warden looked up at him from his chair.
"Of course I'm coming. I wouldn't miss it for anything." He said. Megamind smiled, and there was an awkward moment until the Warden finally grumbled "Now get out of my office."
Megamind walked back to the car, hands in pockets humming to himself absently when he heard his name being called. He glanced up, hoping to see an uncle or two through the fence but no, it was Hal.
His nose was swollen and he had two black eyes. The look did not do wonders for his appearance.
"Come to gloat Megamind? Come to see me suffer in this hell hole? I hope you're happy now! You've ruined my life!" Hal shouted. Megamind looked at him with mild surprise. The idea of going to see Hal himself had never so much as crossed his mind.
Megamind shrugged and kept walking.