That evening, the girls had arrived back at the boarding house. What an exhausting day. Frankie thought. They had procured a pizza and since most of the tenants were out on a Saturday night, they decided on curling up in the Sitting Room with a movie. Bianca set them both up with napkins and two cans of pop, while Frankie turned on the DVD. "I am so glad you came to visit Frankie." Bianca said sitting next to the shorter girl. "I missed you this week, I did…but it also gets lonely here. I mean, I have my family and friends, but…I don't know. You probably think I am silly. Ms. Big Tough Loner, over there. You don't need anybody."

Frankie rolled her eyes. "I never said that. I said I made the choice to leave. It was easier that way. No more abuse, no more shame and no one trying to get me to do the wrong thing. Plus, for a while there, sleeping out under the stars and the wide open sky, it wasn't bad. Anyway, I'm not solo anymore. I have Jamie. We look out for each other."

Frankie noticed Bianca glance at her phone. Frankie stretched out, pulling Bianca closer and asked "Since I have been doing all the sharing today, why don't you take a crack at it, my darling Biancala? I think we need to discuss the…uhh…elephant in the room as they say. You are thinking about Sarah, aren't ya? Is that why you are looking at your phone?"

Bianca dropped her head. She ran her hands through her hair, looked up at the ceiling and let out a sigh. "Frankie, you 've got to understand…I…" She couldn't finish. She just looked silently at Frankie's hands as she mingled them with her own and then closed her eyes. Frankie moved slightly so that she could see Bianca's face better. Keep it together, Stone. It's not over till it's over. "Hey, no sadness…We're having a great weekend together. I want to be your friend, first…above all else. I know it is soon, but I care so much about you. Believe me…that is not an easy thing to say. Why don't you help me understand? Maybe it'd be easier if you start at the beginning…kinda like I did. Tell me how ya'll met."

Bianca opened her eyes and smiled. She traced her finger along Frankie's jaw and shook her head in disbelief. "You are just an amazing person Frankie. You are. Don't you ever let anyone tell you otherwise." She took a deep breath and exhaled. "Okay, time for my dark secrets, huh? Well, you remember me telling you about all the formative, coming out and depression episodes that I went through?" Frankie nodded and Bianca continued, looking off into nothing so she could focus. "Well, when I went through all of that, I also decided that I didn't need to eat anymore. I ended up very sick, obviously. I worried my parents and they eventually decided that I needed to go to a rehab program for eating disorders. I went to a place called Fairview. That's where I met Sarah. We were roommates. She was sitting on her bed and I was unpacking. She was just staring at the ground. I tried talking to her, but it was like she couldn't hear me…like she was somewhere I couldn't reach. It scared me. I wanted to find some kind of way to bring her back, but I didn't know how. In my heart, I made a promise that I would make her life better, but I didn't know how to keep it. Then I went for a walk one day and I found this flower on the ground…this little bud about to bloom." Bianca inhaled sharply while choking back tears. Frankie just held her tighter, encouraging her to go on. "It was still cold out at night and I was afraid it would die, so I dug it up and I put it in a cup with some dirt and I…I gave it to Sarah. She looked up at me and gave me the most radiant smile… it was as if I had given her a sun…a sunrise." Bianca wiped her tears from her eyes and smiled weakly. "Later on, she told me that when I gave her that flower, I saved her life, but what she didn't know is that when she looked up at me and smiled…she saved me."

Bianca sobbed quietly and Frankie turned her body to hold the weeping girl. She stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. I have no idea what to say. I have zero experience with this. I want to do whatever she needs…be there so she never feels that way again. "That was some first encounter. I…I'm sorry, I mean I have never dealt with that. I know the feeling of being alone and scared…maybe even looking for comfort in ways that aren't always healthy. I don't know if I am even helping. I am glad that you had someone during such a rough time."

Bianca smiled and brushed Frankie's hair from her face. "You don't have to apologize. You are wonderful just the way you are. You just listen and hold me…and all of this is not easy to hear. All of my past drama."

"Oh stop." Frankie interjected. "I asked. So…you two saved each other during your lowest moments. You pulled each other through something very raw and emotional. Then what happened?"

So we both got sent home, but we still cared. I came home and was thrust into my mother's shadow. I had to struggle with how to come out to her and really own what it meant to be myself, openly. It was hard. Sarah was going through very much the same thing. She wanted me…wanted to be together, but she was afraid. She called me one day. She reached out and I tried to see her. I even went all the way to New York. It is all a big drawn out mess. She loved me and she knew it, but she didn't feel like she could face what that meant. Her mother surely didn't make that easy and my mother just didn't get that I was gay…that I loved Sarah back."

Frankie was in turmoil as to what to think about all she was hearing, but she was intrigued. "That is awful. What happened then?"

"Sarah's mother forced her into marriage. She…she refused to accept her daughter as a lesbian. So, Sarah was wed on Christmas Eve." Frankie's eyes opened wide as Bianca continued. But even though she felt like she couldn't fight, she knew that I had her heart and she ran away. She had stopped eating again and she found me, but she was barely alive. I was so scared of losing her…again. My mother and I had actually made a little progress and I knew that Mom still loved me, no matter what. I was also able to get her to understand my feelings for Sarah. So amazingly, when Sarah's mother showed up to drag her back to her husband, it was my mom that was able to break through to her."

"Wow." Frankie said, while rubbing Bianca's arms affectionately. "Not terribly surprising though. I mean your mom is a lot to deal with. But I don't get it…why are you still unsure of your feelings? Why are the two of you not together?"

"Well, Sarah went back to Boston to get well. Plus her and her mother had work to do. She got a divorce and was healthy again, so I begged her to come be with me. I was going through so much with being out and still dealing with my mom. There were people that taunted me and friends that turned on me. I wanted her so badly to just be here so I wouldn't feel so alone. She was already enrolled in school and she is working so hard to finish. She is going to be a doctor. She wants to finish everything so that we can go anywhere and never have to be apart again. She is doing it for me…so how can I push?"

"But if she loves you…and you need her…I don't understand." Frankie mumbled.

"She has helped by being there as much as she can. That is why she calls twice a day, every day…she checks up on me and we talk through things. Aside from Leo and Kendall…she's been my rock. We have also been able to break away from school and work to visit a few times."

"That is good, that she cares so much. It sounds like you really do love her…but hey, what do I know about love, right?" Frankie turned her head to conceal a pained look, proceeded to hug Bianca tighter and stroke her hair. "I…what I don't understand is what is happening with us? Wh..why would you go out looking for some one night stand? Why not just wait? What does this mean…for me?"

Bianca hung her head. "I don't know? I honestly don't know what to do. She has told me once that I was free to date…that she didn't want me to be lonely. She felt like she was asking a lot. She made the choice to not date while she was in school so she could focus. So aside from whatever it is that she and I have, she is flying solo. So I told her I didn't want to date. If she could do it, then so could I. Then I got really lonely, over time, and I just started over thinking everything."

Bianca pulled away from Frankie and stood to cross to the fireplace. She put her hand on the mantle and started to cry a little. Frankie started to get up and the couch squeaked. Bianca made a gesture to stop her. "No. Don't get up. I'm okay. I told you before…you were never part of the plan. I had doubts and insecurities. I have felt alone. She tries so hard, and I care about her so much, but the loneliness...I have never felt like that before. So I made a choice. I was going to go out and meet someone. Have a forgettable night with a forgettable person. I could experience closeness…overcome my nerves and fill some void. Then walk away and never think of it again."

Frankie shifted uncomfortably, silently finishing the conversation in her head. But then you met me and I am good to you. You didn't expect me Bianca and I never even dreamt of you. So you can't pass this up…you just can't.

"That is not what happened though, is it?" Bianca continued. "Instead I met a beautiful confident woman that took my breath away from the start. I felt comfortable and safe with you from the very beginning. We have talked about so much and I have never felt that you have judged me. Not even once. To everyone I am naïve little Bianca, or Erica's daughter…even just the lesbian, but you see me. You have tried to protect and care for me since you barely even knew me. It is like Sarah all over again…this instant bond."

Bianca turned and walked to the couch. She sat, looked Frankie square in the eyes and took her hands. "I would not trade you for a million dollars. I know that if things were different, I would have nothing holding me back…" Frankie's heart sank and she bit the inside of her cheek to fight the tears. "But I do have something holding me back. I have said things and done things that I can't just forget. Sarah has done nothing wrong. I am not saying that our weekend was a mistake, because I will never forget it. I just don't think that we should let that happen again."

Frankie tasted a hint of copper as she bit down harder. You will not dissolve. You will not show weakness. Dammit, Stone…you fuckin fool. Bianca continued. "I want you in my life. I want to continue to be friends, but I understand if you cannot look at me after this. This wasn't an easy decision to come to. If you can't stick around…I pray that someday you will find a way to forgive me." Bianca pulled back and leaned back against the couch. Frankie just stared off into nothing.

After a few minutes, she stood up at turned on the movie. She returned to the couch and served each of them a piece of pizza. As she took a bite and reached to open a can of pop, Bianca began to speak. "Frankie, I really wish…" Frankie's head turned to Bianca and she put a finger to her lips. "Don't…just don't. Give me time. Please. Eat your pizza and let's enjoy this movie." Bianca nodded and Frankie managed a half-hearted smile, then both girls returned their attention to the movie.