A/N: Okay here you have it! A brand new chapter! Thanks for the reviews guys I really appreciate what you write.

Now this chapter has lots of JJ feelings, she goes from fine to not okay and I think it´s normal.

PS: listen to "After the Storm" by Mumford and Sons while reading :)

Chapter XIII

When Emily came out the room she was surprised to see the team, plus Sandy, Henry and the doctor with a nurse.

"Well hi." She said smiling.

"How is she?" Sandy asked her. She arrived not long after Reid asked the doctor to no interrupt them asking why everyone was outside, they explained the reason and she felt heartbroken, her little girl was hurting and she couldn´t help her.

"She´s…better. Talking was a good thing for her mental health I think." Emily was almost sure about it, she felt like that when she had talked to JJ after the Doyle incident.

"Can I go see mummy now?" Little Henry asked. He was getting impatient, he had waited as they told him and yet he still wasn´t able to go see his mother.

The doctor looked at the little boy and said. "Yes but first I need to go inside and see how your mummy is doing today, okay? Then, after I´m done you can go in and be with her as long as you want." He smiled, he knew the boy just wanted to see him mother and see if she was fine because everyone told him JJ was better, but he still wasn´t allowed to see her.

The young boy smiled and nodded. "Promised?" He asked. His mother tough him that when you make a promise you have to do everything to keep it and when the doctor say yes he smiled happy to know that he was going to see him mummy soon.

"Now if you excuse me." He said to the rest of the team. "I´ll be out in a minute." He informed them.

…

After Emily left the room JJ laid down once again. She was looking up, not actually seeing the roof but rather remembering what had happened not long ago. She heard people outside her room and knew it was her family; the thought put a smile on her face. They had been there for her in her good and bad days and this one was a bad, a horrible day. "No…today is a good day. I´m alive, I´m here." Her smile got wider but then the memories came back in a rush. Askari and Hasting still plagued her dreams, not as often as the first couple of weeks but now she was sure they were going to come back and they would bring someone else with them. "They already do."

"Hello Jennifer." The doctor greeted, she was surprise to hear his voice because she hadn´t even heard them come in. "How are you feeling today?"

JJ thought about it, she was feeling better than before, her body was responding positively to her resting and after the talk with Emily so was her mind, for now. "I actually feel better and please call me JJ." She didn´t want to hear her name again for a while, he had made it sound so wrong, she just wasn´t ready for it.

"Alright JJ." He said. "We are going to see how your lung in doing and to clean and rebadged your wounds." Doctor Williams then went to check her breathing while the nurse went to JJ´s bed to help her with her wounds. "I see your breathing is getting better. I´ll take the cannula off."

JJ was relieved to hear this, she so wanted the things off of her face and out of her nose, it was uncomfortable. The doctor proceeded to do so and JJ now had to admit it was lot easier to breathe with them.

"Now JJ you have to remember to take deep breaths, that way your lungs will heal faster and better."

She said yes and once the doctor was done with the cannula the nurse began to work on her wounds. JJ was nervous, she hadn´t seen herself since the team found her, she knew what he did to her body but she hadn´t actually see it.

"Alright JJ, I´m going to start with your leg and then I´ll go up. Okay?" The nurse was a woman on her early fifties maybe, her hair was as black as Emily´s and her eyes a dark brown color. Her face soft expression made JJ feel comfortable.

"Yes that´s okay." She answered, but truth be told she was scared.

The nurse began to take the old bandage off. JJ watched her as she worked and once the white material was no longer around her leg her eyes saw the gash on her leg. It wasn´t long but it didn´t take the feeling of displeasure, why was that specific feeling the one she felt in that moment? She didn´t know, maybe it was because she remember how it happened and how he had enjoyed it? Yes it was probably that. The lady cleaned the wound and put a new bandage on it.

"All done here. Let´s keep moving." JJ though the lady was talking more to herself than to her. "I need you to lie as still as possible, ´kay?" JJ did as told. "It may sting a little." She warned her, but JJ had gone through much worse.

"It´s alright." Was the only thing the blonde said before lying completely down.

The nurse lifted her gown and clean the burns, while she did JJ glanced a few times, she could see a few burns but from the angle she was it was hard to see them clearly, she thought it looked like a letter, she wasn´t sure.

"We are done here. Now let´s finish it." She smiled. JJ´s leg and abdomen began to hurt again, not as badly as before but it was bothering her.

The nurse lifted the gown a bit more to have a better access to the wound. JJ had a much better angle than before so she took a look and what she saw made her grimaced. The gash was longer than the one on her left leg and it hurt much more than it as well. While the nurse worked JJ´s mine drifted to other place, she didn´t want to be there anymore, she wanted to just try and forget about everything for just a while, but it was almost impossible with the constant pain, a reminder of the real world. The blonde was so tired of crying and feeling helpless, she so desperately wanted to not feel those things but it was getting harder and harder each hour. Sometimes she felt like she was fine, like she could actually do this but the feelings would vanish not long after, replaced with sadness, impotence, fear and anger.

"And we are done." The nurse said taking JJ out of her pitiful thoughts. "I´ll be coming here to change the bandage every day for as long as you are here." She told her smiling and then left the room.

"I will come and check on you later or maybe tomorrow. I am happy you´re getting better and showing so much improvement." She smiled but it didn´t reached her eyes; maybe she was good physically but mentally was a totally different thing. "Now, I think there´s a really exited young boy out there who wants to see you." JJ´s eyes lit up after hearing Doctor Williams, Henry was outside waiting to see her. "See you soon agent." The doctor had just opened the door when blonde hair passed running beside him.

"Mummy!" He yelled stopping besides JJ´s bet. The blonde looked at the boy and new tears threaten to fall down her face. "You ´kay mummy? Grandma told me you got hurt and uncle Hotch said I couldn´t come ´cause you had to rest."

"Hi baby! I´m much better now you are here. They did? Well they were right, I did need to rest so I could be fine to see you and be with you." She was so happy to have her little boy with her, she didn´t notice when the team and her mother came in. "Here" She said patting the bed. "Why don´t you sit here beside me and tell me all you have done while I was resting?" The young blonde boy smiled and hoped next to her mother.

"I see you feeling good today." Sandy asked her after a couple of minute and for the first time since Henry got in and sat next to her JJ looked up and saw her family there.

"I do now." She told her looking down at her boy, who was now drawing something for her. "I´m sorry I scared you."

"Oh Jenny, you don´t have to apologize." Her mother came closer and sat down on the chair beside the bed. "It was not your fault or anything like that." She then took JJ´s right hand. "I´m just really happy you are here with us."

"Me too mom." She squeezed her mother´s hand and turned to look at her team. She took a deep breath, ignoring the pain and said with a soft voice. "Thank you guys."

"You don´t have to thanked us. We are just happy we found you in time." Hotch said with a genuine smile adorning his face.

"Boss man is right sweetie. We are so very happy you made it." Garcia said with happy tears rolling down her beautiful face. Morgan put an arm around her.

"I see you don´t have the cannula anymore." Emily said, seeing things were getting emotional and thinking maybe it was best to no go there for now.

"Yeah, doc said my breathing was good and improving so he decided to take them off." The blonde repeated what doctor Williams told her.

"That´s good kid, really good." Rossi had been worried as the rest of the team but he felt like he had almost lost a child. He once was a father, he still was but his son was not with him anymore, then he went back to the BAU and met JJ. He thought maybe she was his second chance, so he treated her like she was his own but trying to not make it noticeable, just Hotch knew about his fatherly feelings toward the blonde and he preferred it like that.

Reid hadn´t say a word since the team came in, he didn´t know what to say or do. He could see JJ struggling with her feelings, Henry had made her feel better but still the dullness of her eyes wasn´t gone completely. He decided to sit down and wait for an opportunity to talk with her, alone.

….

As darkness approached the team decided to go back to the hotel leaving JJ with her mother, Henry and Reid. The young profiler told the team he needed to stay for a couple of minutes more with her, asking Sandy if it was okay, she said it was okay obviously.

"I better get the little one to bed." Sandy said an hour later, seeing Henry had fallen asleep beside his mother.

"Can he stay for a little longer? I don´t want him to go just yet." JJ asked her mother, Sandy was about to protest when Reid interjected.

"I can take him back." JJ stared at him with thankful eyes."

"You sure Spencer?" Sandy asked him knowing the answer; she also could see in his eyes a pleading look.

"I am sure." He smiled.

"Alright then." She stood up and kissed JJ´s forehead. "I´ll be here tomorrow. Love you baby."

"Love you too mom and thanks." Her mother just nodded and said goodbye to Reid before leaving knowing the profiler wanted a moment alone with her daughter.

Reid sat down on the seat Sandy had been a second before. "Best if you do it now." He thought. "How are you feeling?"

She removed her eyes from her son and looked at Reid. "I feel okay." JJ wanted to say more but she wasn´t sure if it was a good idea to tell all to Reid, she was scared of what he might think.

Spencer knew she wasn´t been completely honest with him so he tried again. "JJ…I know you´re not okay, maybe physically you´re better but we both know there´s other aspect that needs more attention now."

She just looked at him, with no idea of how to say how she felt. How do you tell someone the horrible feelings you have? Or how do you even began to express those feelings? Reid was too important to her, making even more difficult for her to open up to him.

"I know it´s hard JJ, believe me I know. I also know why you told Emily." He wanted her to tell him, maybe it was selfish of him but he was sure that´s what she needed and he wanted to be the person next to her hearing all of what she went through and all she was keeping to herself.

JJ thought about it, he was right, he knew how it felt, he knew. She saw the sadness in his eyes and the love. JJ realized no long ago she had feelings for her friend, it wasn´t a surprise actually, they both were really close and after Will and Maeve their bond just became stronger. They would spend so much time together, they would go shopping or to the movies, they would go to the park with Henry and JJ would invite him for dinner after. It was so normal for them now, it felt right. After she was kidnapped the first time Reid had been there for her, he would ask if she was okay and if she needed anything, he would watch her for any sign of things not going well and she noticed, he thought she didn´t but she did. So why was it so hard to tell him? But she already knew why. It was because she was afraid of what he could say, of what he could think, of him going away but it was stupid she thought, he didn´t leave her the first time so why would he do it now? He was unconditional, she loved him…. "Oh god…" and suddenly everything made sense.

"JJ." He took her hand and held it tight. "You know you can trust me, I won´t think any less of you, on the contrary I think you are amazing. Jenna told us what you did and I´m proud of you." She let a tear rolled down her cheek.

"I feel angry and scared." She finally said. "I´m angry because I couldn´t avoid this and I´m scared because now I won´t only see Hastings or Askari in my dreams but I will also see him." She lowered her voice and added. "I already do."

"JJ what you are feeling is perfectly normal. You have nothing to be ashamed of; I still think you are an incredible person, an amazing profiler and a wonderful mother." She smiled.

"Thank you Spence, I think I needed to hear those things from you."

"I am here for you JJ and for Henry. I want you to be okay." Reid felt his heart beat faster, he had so much problems talking to people about feelings and emotions but with JJ, it was so easy lately and it felt so right. She changed him, in a good way and made him feel normal. It hurt seeing her so fragile but he knew it was necessary, it was best if she felt all what she was supposed to felt after what she went through and he was going to be there for her, because she was the one who was always there for him, the one person he could turned over if he felt bad, she was the one he cared most about, his best friends, the person he had felt in love with no long ago. "I´m in love with her."

"I will be, eventually, I will be. Because as Emily told me, I have my family with me to help me." She leaned over slowly, so did he. Her ribs protested but she ignored it. They weren´t thinking anymore they just went with it, they didn´t fight the feeling. Their lips were mere inches from each other and then it happened, it wasn´t an intense kiss, it was soft and full of love. It lasted just seconds but for them it felt like more, when it ended both agents stayed in the same position, just looking at each other.

"Mummy kissed Spence." Botch heard Henry said. They had been so into the kiss they hadn't noticed the little boy had woken up. Reid turned bright red and JJ was speechless, after a second she smiled.

"Yes buddy, we kissed but you can´t tell anyone, okay? It´s a secret for now, promised?" She winked at Reid. His face lighted with happiness.

"I promise!" Henry said exited. "Is Spence your boyfriend now mummy?"

"Well…I…." JJ had no idea how to answer that or how Henry thought about it, granted he saw her kissing Reid but still.

"Hey Henry, how about we go now so mummy can rest?" Reid interjected seeing JJ´s conflicted face. She mouthed a ´thank you´.

"I don´t wanna go."

"I know but mummy needs to rest and so do you beside, I will bring you here as soon as you wake up." He held his hand so Henry could shake it. "Promised?"

The boy smiled. "I promise!" He then hugged his mother softly and went with Reid. "Night mummy."

"Night little guys." She said waving her hand. "Goodnight Spence."

"Goodnight JJ, see you tomorrow." Reid took Henry´s hand and walked out the door with him. JJ watched them go before resting her head back on the pillow and closing her eyes. The feeling of Reid´s lips on hers was still there; she moved her hand towards them and let it there. She could do it, she now knew she was able to overcome this, she would need help from her family but she was now, sure she could do it and with that thought in mind she fell asleep.

What did you think? Review to tell me and thanks again :D