"Lady Palutena, are you sure you don't need help?" Pit watched his patron goddess as she struggled down the front steps with a large crate.
"I'm fine," the goddess said. She groaned as she shifted the weight of the crate.
Pit shook his head. "Lady Palutena-"
She made it down the steps and turned towards the doors to the armory. She poked her head out from behind the crate and glared at it. A light green aura surrounded the doors and flung them open.
"Lady-"
Palutena stared reassuringly at the worried angel. "Pit, it's your day off. I can handle this myself."
"Oh come on, Lady-" Pit stopped himself. He didn't want annoy Lady Palutena. After all, it did look like she had control over the situation. "...Okay." Pit sighed and walked away from her.
A few days before, a "dark lord" broke in and kidnapped her, forcing Pit to use his platforming skills to save her. A day after that, Dark Pit reported that he was being chased by girls. Yesterday? A fake Viridi came in to declare her love for meat. Pit had to throw her out. Something had to be going on. Why were they being harassed with all these cliches?
Pit turned the corner and towards his bedroom, when he heard a crash come from the guest room. He raced over and flung open the door.
In the middle of the room stood Dark Pit, with scratches and bruises all over his body.
"What happened to you?" Pit's mouth hung open.
The dark angel threw his hands up. "They've found me, and they've brought a Yaoi-obsessed Pit with them!" He grabbed Pit's arm. "We have to find someplace to hide. Now."
The Pits raced out of the room. Pit led the way, while Dark Pit, armed with his Dark Pit staff, stayed close behind.
"Lady Palutena never had the thought of building a shelter," Pit said.
"Well, that's dumb!" Dark Pit twirled around and fired some shots behind him. "How are they so fast?!"
Pit stared at him. "They've caught up ALREADY?!"
Dark Pit reached for his belt and pulled out a small orange square. "Thank goodness I have both Tirelessness and Effect Duration on hand." He squeezed the Power. In turn, a glow surrounded both Pit's feet.
Pit led them out of the temple. "The best place to go is the centurion bunkers. They're just a short glide to your left." He pointed to a couple of skinny gray buildings.
"Yeah, but what if we fail to make it? There's no clouds right now!"
Pit clenched his fists. "I'll contact Lady Palutena."
Sorry Pit, but a crazed Yuri Medusa is after me! Fall to Earth and talk to me later.
Both angels groaned.
"I guess we don't have a choice." Pit looked down below. "Skyworld is directly over a lake in the Overworld. Maybe if we..."
Dark Pit pushed him off the island. "No time!"
Pit screamed as he plummeted. Suddenly, a strong wind picked them up.
"Calm down," he told himself as he settled into a slow downward glide, "it's only wind."
"Yeah, but it's violent!"
"Calm down!"
"I can't!" Pit began fidgeting around.
Dark Pit rolled his eyeballs. Pit was talking to himself again.
Despite running into a lightning storm on the way down, both Pit's managed to hit some trees.
Pit looked around as he climbed down. "Where to now?"
"DEUS EX MACHINA!"
Both angels jumped as a hole with a manhole cover appeared in front of them.
"Who was that," Pit asked, "and what does that mean?"
"Deus ex machina..." Dark Pit suddenly held a small tablet in his hands. "It means: When something new suddenly solves an unsolvable problem. Thank you, TvTropes. We wouldn't have- How dare you say we don't have WiFi!" Frustrated, he tossed the tablet into a nearby bush.
Once they made it into the hole and locked various doors, they heard pounding.
"We made it." Pit collapsed on a small bed. "Whew!"
Dark Pit sat down at a table, pulling a laptop out of who knows where. "Wait, so NOW we have WiFi?" He shrugged. "Whatever, I guess."
"How are we going to spend the next few hours?" Pit began playing with his fingers. "I couldn't grab my 3DS. I would totally kill for some LvD right now!"
"That's why we have the internet, Pit. It's a great time waster." The dark angel opened up Internet Explorer and smirked back at him. "So, where to?"
"I don't know. Something that would grab my attention, like-"
A fart rang through the bunker. Pit glared at Dark Pit. "Really?!"
"Noooooooooooooooo..."
Dark Pit cringed. "That's NASTY." He closed the tab. "Anyway, if there's something you've always to know, then why don't we search it up now?"
Pit ran over. His eyes shone at all the possibilities. "Cool! How about how to fly? Or how to make the best chocolate sundae?"
Dark Pit went to Google. "Or maybe I'm feeling lucky." He pressed the button to the right.
It loaded in several seconds. What came up made his eyes widen.
"Holy Corphish!" He jumped out of his chair and behind Pit.
"What happened?" Pit studied several pictures on the screen before screaming. "My eyes! They burn!" He fingered the touch pad. "Down down down!"
They sighed in relief when the pictures were gone and words replaced them.
"P-pittoo, what was tha-that?"
Dark Pit lowered his head. His hand shook as he laid it back down on the computer's touch pad. "Remember when I destroyed the Dark Pit clone that tried to kiss you?"
"Yeah," Pit nodded, "you called what happened between us Yaoi."
"Well... That was it." He zoomed back up to the search bar and typed something. Then, he went to the first blue link he saw. "We're about to enter some dangerous territory. Are you ready?"
Pit tensed up. "I guess so."
Dark Pit clicked the link.