WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! This chapter contains self-harm!

Chapter 6

Lily's father taught her three things when she was growing up. One; never get attached, because the ones we love are the ones that always hurt us most. Two; when someone hurts us, make them hurt the way they hurt you. Three; when you are in pain, make it hurt more until you become immune.

Lily ran to Myrtle's bathroom and locked herself inside. She was still crying as she cast a silencing spell around the room so no one would hear her screams. She shut herself in one of the stalls and pulled out her wand. Her heart leapt with fear as she held her wand to her forearm.

Her mind flashed back to Fred as she said "Sectumsempra."

She shrieked in agony as she saw the blood dripping off of her arm. She sobbed as the pain shot through her. She said it again, creating another wound on her arm. She screamed again, but louder this time. She winced, and sobbed, and screamed more and more each time she shouted the curse. The floor of the stall was crimson red with her blood. Each scar that would be left on her arm, was going to remind her not to trust people. It would remind he breaking her of Mason breaking her heart, back when it was unscathed. It would remind her of her mother and father's betrayal. Most importantly, it would remind her of the way Fred ruined her, and made her wish she would just die. After hours of self-harm, the pain began to lessen. It didn't seem to hurt as much, and Lily's emotions started to fade away. Make it hurt more until you become immune. That's exactly what she was doing.

Fred walked away from Lily, although he nearly turned back. She gave up her family for him, why couldn't he do the same for her? He knew why, because he had a lot more to lose. Didn't he?

He looked back at the girl who had his heart - whether she knew it or not - who was now running in the other direction. He could still her her sobs, and they were echoing through his head. He still couldn't believe that he had caused this.

Fred walked quickly to their tree by the lake. He still called it 'their tree', even though there was no 'them' anymore. No, Fred couldn't think like that. It hurt too much. No matter what Mason did, no matter what Mason said, Lily belonged to Fred. She loved him, and he loved her, she just couldn't know.

He sat beneath the shade of the large tree. He reminisced about all the times he sat in that very spot with Lily. Their play fights, their flirtatious banter, their heated snogs, their stolen kisses and forbidden 'I love you'. He wanted more than anything to have that back, even just more more minute to have her in his arms.

There were no words to explain his hatred for Mason Williamson. He wished he could just Avada Kedavra him, even a Crucio would suffice. Though, of course, the consequences of that would be far worse. And doing that, wouldn't get Lily back, it might even push her further away and there was enough distance between them already.

"Hey mate." a voice identical to his came from behind.

"Oh, hi Georgie." Fred said wiping away tears from his face. It was no use though, they just kept coming.

"Why are you torturing yourself by sitting here Freddie? This is yours and Lily's spot." George said.

"Because, I, I feel close to her here." Fred said.

"I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better." George said taking place beside his twin.

"You could kill Mason, that would help." Fred joked...sort of.

"Look, I know you're upset, but you and Lily will find a way." George consoled.

"Do you know what I had to do tonight?" Fred asked George. George shook his head, "I had to tell her that I didn't love her." Fred's voice cracked as the tears ran harder, "I had to look her in the eye and tell her that I just, don't love her anymore."

"Fred, I-" George seemed lost for words.

"I had to watch her heart break, all over again and act like I didn't give a damn! She thinks I don't care about her." Fred said staring aimlessly into the lake. George didn't say anything, he knew there was nothing he could do to help. So the twins just sat there, staring at the lake.

As the days passed, Lily barely noticed the pain in her arm. She went back to the bathroom everyday to 'become immune'. Parts of the floor were stained red from all of her blood that had spilled there. It was a Friday when it finally started noticeably working.

She dropped the sleeve of her robe back down to cover her wounds and walked confidently back to the Slytherin common room. She had pushed all her emotions away. She was trying her best to not care, and after torturing herself for nearing a week, it was nearly working. She wanted to hurt Fred, like he hurt her. He can't just wake up one day and decide he doesn't love her. She was going to make him want her and she knew just how to do it.

Before going to breakfast the next morning, she looked through her Advanced Potions book and searched for a quick healing spell. In the meantime, she bandaged her arm the muggle way - something she learnt from Mr Weasley - and made sure that her left forearm stayed hidden. She walked gracefully into the great hall for the breakfast feast, and immediately caught Fred's eye. She smirked to herself and sat beside Mason, who stopped his conversation with Brady Hankins when she sat down.

"Hi, Mason." she said gleefully taking an apple off of silver tray in front of her.

"Hey, Lily, how are you feeling?" he had a false look of concern plastered on his face.

"Oh please, will you stop with the fake sympathy. I know you're loving every second of it." she said, observing her shiny red apple.

"Well, I'm not loving that you're upset, but I do love the fact that you're single now." he flashed her a flirty smile, which she returned, "so, there's a Hogsmeade trip tomorrow, you going?"

"Yeah, I was thinking about it." she smiled charmingly.

"I know its late notice, but would you maybe wanna go with me?" he asked with pride edging on his voice.

"Pick me up at eight-thirty, in the entrance hall and don't be late." she said before taking a bite of her apple and skipping out of the hall.